(Picture of Faith's dress)

Chapter 25

Faith POV

Once again I found myself transferring clothes and a journal into the bag that I had taken with me to Magnus'. Jace had returned, which meant that I was going to return to the Institute to be there with him.

Magnus was off, as far as I knew, leaving the place in silence. It was nice, not to have to hear the "I'm sorry" or the quiet stares and whisper that would occur since my mom died. Even Clary seemed slightly off, but I knew she was taking this harder than I was.

Or at least, she showed it more than I was.

The sound of footsteps are heard and Magnus' voice fills my ears, causing me to turn to him.

"Hello my dear."

"Magnus, I thought you were gone."

"I was, but returned before you could sneak away," Magnus said with a small smile.

Nodding slightly, I looked down at the shirt in my hands before looking back up at him. "Thank you, for everything you did. I owe you."

Magnus waved his hand in the air, "No worries." He lowered his hand as I returned to lacking. "How are you doing?"

A sigh left my lips, "I'm, I'm okay." I stopped at turned to Magnus who was staring at me with a raised eyebrow, seeing right through me. "I told her that she lost me, that she was being punished for everything she's done to me and Jace. And now, now she's gone."

"Your mother was only trying-"

"To protect me. Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying. But you know what, Magnus? What if she wasn't? What if she was doing it all for herself? I mean, Jace knew about Shadowhunters even when I met him all those times. If she would have let fate run its course I would be at the Institute, safe. Not in agenizing pain every other week because she was blocking my Connection ruin and erasing my memories."

Magnus seemed to listen to my words as he looked at me with sympathy. My words continued though as an anger mixed with sadness tone left me. "I felt trapped, like I was cursed or something. I was so scared to go out, to meet people, to even go anywhere because I was worried I'd get sick again. Because I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me, that I was doing this to myself. When in fact, it was my own mother doing it to me. And what? I'm supposed to just forgive her for all of that? Even in death, I can't forgive her, not fully."

Shaking my head as I looked at the ground, I did admit, "But I do regret what I said, because those were the last words I said to her."

Magnus took a step deeper into the room, his eyes staring at me, watching me as my eyes avoided him before focusing on him. "If that makes me a bad person, or a bad daughter, then that's what I am. But no one, no one, has any idea what I went through all those years."

Turning, I grabbed my bag, zipping it up, before throwing it over my shoulder. "Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'm going to spend time with the man I love. Because now I can."

"Faith-"

Me walking out the door, left Magnus' next words a mystery as he sighed.

The walk back to the Institute was one that was meant to clear my head, but instead made it crowd even more. There was nothing for me to do but think about my last words towards my mom, nothing to distract me from the guilt that etched its way into me. It was silent, and I was alone.

As soon as I walked into my room, I thought of grabbing a journal and just writing my thoughts. Sadly, I hadn't even opened it before Jace walked in.

"Hey."

I turned to face him, setting the journal onto my side table. "Hey," I said with a small smile.

Jace walked over to me, "How are you doing?"

"Okay," I shrugged, taking his hands in mine, seeming to calm my racing mind and heart. "Better, now that you're here," I said, my smile growing as I looked up at him.

Jace smiled, his eyes either setting on my lips or my eyes. His words came out as a mumble, but I could hear them even if they were just a thought. "God I've missed you so much."

"And you know how much I missed you," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled his head down, capturing his lips in mine as he did the same. A small chuckle left my lips as I pulled away, "Defiantly a better reunion then our last one."

Although Jace had a smile on his face, it shrunk a little as he moved his lips up and kissed my forehead before leaning his against mine. "It's okay to be mad and sad, Faith."

There he goes, ruining the moment and causing a small groan to leave my lips.

"Have you talked to Clary?" He asked, changing the subject but still keeping the tension in me.

"No," I said, pulling my head away and taking a step back from him. "I don't think she wants to talk to me right now."

"You may be the only person she can talk to right now."

My eyes go down to the floor before our hands release and mine wrap themselves around him. "I'll talk to her, but for now, I just want to be here, with you."

Jace wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him as we just stood there. Eventually our legs got tired and our bodies laid on the bed, Jace tracing our connection ruin that still had some scarring on it.

"It's looking good."

"Almost back to normal," I said with a small smile, my own fingers tracing Jace's ruin on his side.

There was a small pause before Jace's words mumbled against my hair. "I love you, so much."

I smiled and looked up at him, "I love you too." I leaned in, giving him a slow and passionate kiss. Before it could go any farther, Jace's phone went off next to us, causing a sigh and groan to leave our lips.

Jace picked up his phone and sat up, letting out a sigh. "It's Aldertree, he wants to speak with me." He leaned over and kissed the top of my head before pulling his shirt down and climbing off the bed.

"Good luck," I said from the bed, watching him leave my room.

With the settling silence, I decided that Jace's past words about seeing my sister were probably true. Leaving her alone and not saying a word to her was only going to make the relationship between us worst. I had to be the big sister.

Sighing, I stood up and started to walk around the Institute, looking for my sister. One of the first places I checked was the small church in the Institute, where our mom and the other's dead Shadowhunters laid until the funeral.

Clary is bending over their mom, cutting a piece of her hair off.

Confused, I spoke up, asking, "What are you doing?"

Quickly Clary stood up, hiding her hand behind her back as she faced me. "Nothing," She answered as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"Clary, you can talk to me."

She scuffed and looked away, "Yeah right." With those words, she starts to walk away. My hand reached out, grabbing her arm and stopping her from leaving.

"Hey..."

My sister's words cut me off as she pulled her arm away. "You don't think I know what you said to mom? She came to me, crying after you left. She kept saying to me that it was all her fault, that she was a horrible mother."

Looking down at the ground, my eyes settled on the floor before rising to Clary again as I listened to her words. "She loved you, Faith. She knew she hurt you but she had good intentions when she was doing it. I, I'm not saying that everything she did was right, but you can't just hate her forever. She's dead, Faith! Gone! And you're standing here like it doesn't matter."

Raising my brows and opening my eyes wide, I was taken back slightly by her last words. "Matter? She was my mother too Clary. And now I have to live with the fact that the last words I said to her were horrible. And Alec has to live with the fact that he killed our mother. And Jace has to live with the fact that he wasn't here. But you? You don't have to live with any of that, no pain, nothing. So you don't get to walk around and judge me or be mad at me for how I choose to grieve or how I choose to look at our mother. She was my mother too, and I did love her, despite everything."

As if my words didn't affect her, like they meant nothing now, Clary's words came out in a harsh tone. "Then maybe you should have told her that when she was alive."

Clary walked away, leaving me in the room alone. Or at least, the only one alive.

Moving around, I made my way towards my mother, her body covered by a white sheet expect for her head which had been pulled back. I looked down at her, my eyes tracing over her facial features, finding more that reminded me of Clary then myself.

"She's right. I didn't tell you enough that I loved you when you were alive. And now I'll never know if you knew it." I let out a sigh, my eyes closing as I sucked in a breath before leaving the room.

I headed to my room, changed my clothes into some workout ones, then went to the training room. Grabbing one of the large sticks, I stepped down into the training room, surprised to see Jace hitting the air with one. The way he hit the air around him with such force, and the grunts that left his lips said that he was defiantly angry about something.

"Someone had a tough conversation with Aldertree," I said, causing Jace to stop and stand up straighter as I approached him.

"Yeah, something like that. He sidelined me."

My eyes squinted and my brows bushed together, "Aldertree benched you?"

"Yeah, apparently he thinks that my actions on choosing to save him were wrong," Jace said. He nodded towards me as he got in a ready stance.

I copied his stance, holding my stick in front of me. "He should be thanking you, not putting you on the sidelines."

"Yeah, well, he did," Jace said and moved forward. I blocked his first and second swing, causing me to swing towards him and have him block mine as well.

"Have you spoken to Alec?" I asked in between grunts as Jace and I continued to swing and block.

"Yeah."

"How's he doing?" I asked, ducking as Jace swung at me.

Jace let out a breath, "Not good."

I paused, shifting my weight on my feet, "Should I talk to him?"

"No, I think he just needs time. Did you talk to Clary?"

"Yeah, it went horrible," I said and surprised swung at him, causing him to act fast and block it. I smiled at his surprised reaction, adding to my sentence, "Maybe she just needs time."

Jace smiled at my comment, before swinging again. I blocked his stick, but his hand grabbed my arm and flipped us over. He landed on top of me, smiling down at me.

"Looks like you need more practice."

I chuckled and brought my leg up, kneeing him lightly and flipping us around so I was on top of him. "Looks like you might need more practice."

Letting a small chuckle leave our lips, Jace and I leaned in and captured each other's lips. My hands tossed the stick away from me before I grabbed his shirt. Jace tossed his own stick, grabbing my waist and sitting us both up.

Before I knew it, we were both practically running to Jace's room with excitement and one thing on our minds.

After a little Jace and Faith time, I found myself back at my journal. It seemed my brain blacked out and my hands were writing anything they wanted down. It wasn't until I had completed four pages did my brain snap back awake. I glanced through the pages, wondering what had happened and what I had written.

From what I gathered of the pages, it was about a girl who wanted to bring a love one back from the dead and went to a dark Warlock. But she failed and was trapped in the house of the Warlock.

My eyes went wide, my butt pushed me out of the chair, and I quickly jogged down the hallway. As soon as I turned the corner into the computer room, my eyes caught sight of Jace and Izzy.

"Hey, guys!" I half yelled, grabbing everyone's attention, only for everyone to see I was rushing towards Jace and Izzy. "Have you seen Clary?"

Izzy looked at me confused, "She's fine. She left with Alec a few hours ago."

A groan left my lips as I looked up at the ceiling, "That Warlock."

Jace, confused how only twenty minutes ago he had left me and everything was fine. Now, I was here, freaking out for my sister and talking about a Warlock. "Warlock?"

"Clary's trying to bring our mom back by talking with a Warlock," I said, worried.

"You need dark magic for something like that," Izzy said, looking between Jace and me.

I nodded, "Yeah, 50 bucks says it's a trap."

"We have to find them," Jace said, causing Izzy and I to nod in agreement. We didn't even have time to change before we grabbed some blades and rushed out of the Institute.

Luckily, Izzy had the address, thanks to Alec texting it to her. It was a tall home, looking almost like a skinny apartment building. The brick outside the house seemed to be sketched with invisible sketches, reminding me of something Clary might draw.

"You take upstairs. We'll take the lower levels," Jace said next to me, his words to Izzy.

"On it," Izzy nodded before the three of us moved inside.

Jace and I searched the first floor, finding nothing but a basement door. We decided to check out that floor, instantly hearing Clary's voice as she yelled, "Stay back! Stay back!"

I practically pushed past Jace as I ran down the stairs and into an open cement room. Just as I turned the corner, I caught sight of Clary holding up her hand, pointing it at a demon. A bright light shoots from her hand and strikes the demon, causing it to shriek before turning to ash.

My eyes blinked a few times, getting used to the darkness around me before I looked at my sister with a gapped mouth.

"What the hell was that?" Jace asked next to me.

Clary looked at her hand, shocked and confused, "I, I don't know. I saw this vision of a ruin and so I drew it."

"You just shot sunlight out of your hand," I said, gesturing at the ash demon on the floor. I chuckled slightly as I looked back at my sister, "Kinda cool."

Jace looked at Clary's hand, noticing the ruin that was supposed to be etched on her hand was now gone. "Where's the ruin?"

"I don't know. It's gone," Clary said, looking between Jace and me.

"Look, whatever just happened, let's keep this to ourselves," Jace said, slightly nervous.

As if on cue, Alec and Izzy rushed down the stairs and into the dark cement room.

Alec let out a sigh of relief as he looked at my sister, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Clary said, lowering her hand next to her side.

Moving my hand to my sister's back, I rubbed it lightly, "Let's get out of here, this place gives me the creeps."

"Tell me about it," Clary mumbled before the five of us left. As for the Warlock, she got away, leaving everything that was planned a mystery.

Once we returned to the Institute, everyone was getting ready for the funeral. Well, the Shadowhunter funeral.

Apparently everyone had to wear white, leaving me to search through my closet in hopes of finding something white. Of course, 85% of my clothes were black and the rest were purple it seemed. A loud groan left my lips as I smacked the wall next to me.

"Don't have anything to wear?" I heard Clary's voice behind me. I turned around, finding her in a pretty, simple white dress.

A small sigh left my lips, "Yeah. I never realized how little color I had."

Clary moved over to my bed, laying a short white dress on it. "Izzy gave me a dress, here's one for you." Her voice was plan, saddened. Starring at the floor, Clary turned to leave.

"Thank you," I quickly said, but Clary's eyes never moved up to me as she walked out of the room.

She was still mad at me from our last conversation, leaving me to regret things once again. Everything I seem to do when it comes to my family, seems to always be the wrong thing.

I grabbed the dress, slipping it on, before throwing my hair up into a bun. I applied practically no make-up before I slipped on some white heels.

Leaving my room, I headed to the church like room. Everyone was gathered in there, wearing white, and standing around talking. The three Shadowhunter bodies, covered in a white blanket, laid in the front of the room. Clary was already with Izzy, who was standing next to Alec who was moving uncomfortable in his spot.

Jace turned, seeming to sense my presence, and made his way over to me. My heart picked up and I started to fidget in my place.

"I don't think I can do this, Jace," I said, my eyes staring at my mother that was covered.

"Yes, you can. Just don't let go of me," Jace said, taking my hand. I glanced down at it before looking at him. My other hand grabbed his arm, holding onto him like I was a balloon and he was my anchor keeping me to the ground.

Victor Aldertree stood in front of the room, standing tall. "Those remaining will take their place with the fallen." Two guys along with Clary and I walked up to the front of the room. Jace stayed with me, being my rock.

Clary went on the other side of our mother, leaving me with Jace. Her eyes staid on the ground, like she was afraid to look up.

Aldertree continued, "Those remaining will say the names of the fallen."

The names of the people, along with the crowd's replies seemed to become background noise.

"Brother Micah."

"Pulvis et umbra sumus," The crowd replied.

"Brother Jeremiah."

"For we are dust and shadows," The crowd replied.

I looked at my sister, her silence and eyes still glued to the ground told me that she couldn't do this. Taking a deep breath, my eyes moved to my mom. "Jocelyn..." My voice went dry, all the wetness of it seeming to rush to my eyes and bring tears rushing out of me as my voice broke. "Mom."

Jace quickly wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest as I broke. Everything that I had done, everything I had said, all of it hit me, broke me.

Although everything that was going on in my body and mind, I could hear Jace's voice speak up. "Jocelyn Fairchild."

"Ave atque vale. Hail and farewell."

Hail and farewell, mom.

Emotional ending, but I hope you still liked the chapter. Please comment what you want to see more or less of and I'll make sure to do that. The next chapter may be short, haven't decided yet.