I noticed that he's having a lots of nightmare. Each time I would hear him cry, screaming in my head. I often walk to his room, sit next to him, make him feel more comfortable and got out before he wakes up. I know that if he wakes up seeing me beside him, he will tell his father to fired me. So the night is the time when I can spend with him, it won't last long, I know but I still cherish every single moment. My day has been the same, in the morning I will go any place he went, at night I will comfort him.

We don't talk, don't see each other in the eyes. Sometimes, he's so drunk that he won't remember anything in the next morning. I take advantage of it and try to talk to him. We shared our hobbies, liking, funny stuff. It's quiet surprised because behind his tough mask, he's very kind inside. He talked about how he hate becoming the next leader, he hates rules, he want to be free, doing anything he want, a free spirit. I listened carefully in order not to forget it. One time, I dare to ask him

"What do you think about me being ....your mate?". I'm scare to listen to the answer, scare to have more wound in my heart, the heart which is not beating anymore. He went silent.

"Hick...hehe...wellll....I...think...". After he can finish, I cover his mouth with my hand. I know the answer, why should I bother to listen it from my mate, ridiculous. Like usual, the next morning, I and him are on the same boat again.

I never think that loving someone who doesn't love you would be this hurt. Even though it's no difference than before but knowing the only person who destined to loving you....somehow feeling very terrible.

Someone....

Please....

Make this feeling go away.