Melkor: *laughing evily* Soon Mairon the Valar be no more!

Mairon: *deep sigh* what did you plan this time?

Melkor: *grins evily* I have sent them the most dangerous weapon imaginable and they will except it without a second thought!

Mairon: and this evil weapon is...?

Melkor: THE INTERNET!

🎶dun dun DUUUUUNNN🎶

In Valinor...

Ulmo: Manwe. We can not except this gift from Morgoth. It smells of treatory.

Manwe: Yes. Yet, if he plans to unleash this monstrosity onto middle earth we must see what it is *opens the box and pulls out a laptop*

Yavanna: Strange device.

Aluë: indeed. Even more strange design.

*after a while of trying to figure out what it is*

Manwe: We must keep this. This can not be evil

Mandos: My king. I may have to- *is shown a kitten video*

Mandos: ....aw.

And that. Is how Melkor should have taken over middle earth and the threaten to cut the wifi access.