Solji and Jeno had gotten considerably close. She would visit his place often, and he would always look forward every time she would drop by.

It was one of those days when Solji had nowhere else to be so she chose to pester Jeno instead, not that Jeno minded in the first place.

After the heart-to-heart talk that they had, Jeno didn't feel an ounce of jealousy towards Mark anymore even though he would flounce and bother them all the time.

Jeno learned how to cook, courtesy of Solji who patiently taught him. He was grateful for the help but that wasn't what he was most happy about. It's the fact that Solji was so comfortable around him that she would sometimes initiate their contact and Jeno would hum in satisfaction at the slightest touch.

Right now, he was cooking food for their lunch and Solji was exploring his penthouse.

There was nothing much to see since she had seen the details of his house before but there was something under the coffee table that caught her eye. When she fished it out from its hiding place, she realized she was holding a photo album.

The pink photo album looked old. The plastic cover was ripped and yellowish in color and the cute stickers barely stuck on the paper. It had a label BABY JENO.

A smile instantly spread on Solji's lips when she flipped the cover, barely containing the excitement of seeing baby Jeno.

The first picture was a one-year-old Jeno taking a bath on the small bathtub with soapy bubbles on his head. He looked utterly adorable. The second picture was Jeno posing in front of the camera with his signature eye smile. He was charming ever since he was born.

Solji had to applaud whoever was updating the photo album that moment because everything was so detailed, from the event to the picture was taken, the date, a little note, and a couple of stickers as decorations.

She saw all sorts of Jeno. Smiling, crying, whining, playing. She couldn't help but smile fondly as the pages progress, showing Jeno's growth. She also saw pictures of Mark who didn't seem to change. He still had the same baby face and adorable smile minus the sharp cheekbones.

On the last page of the album, Solji saw a picture of Jeno with a little girl clinging onto his arm posing in front of an ancient grandfather's clock.

"What are you doing?" Jeno asked from behind her which made her jump.

"You startled me!" she reprimanded him which he only returned with a deep chuckle. Solji tried to hide the blush that crept to her cheeks when she thought about how sexy his deep voice sounded. Jeno joined her on the couch and looked at the album.

"All of these pictures were taken when we lived shortly in New York," Jeno explained and flipped back the pages from the beginning to skim at the pictures before returning it to the last page.

"You were cute when you're young," Solji said and an easy smile spread across her cheeks as she remembered toddler Jeno.

"Why? Don't I still look cute now?" Jeno asked, expectant. Solji stared into his dark eyes and momentarily got lost in its depths.

Still cute. But you're hot now, Solji thought but didn't have enough courage to voice it out. Instead, she only gave him a mischievous smile which made him whine.

Her eyes darted back on the last page of the album with the little girl clinging on his arm. She recognized the pink beaded bracelet on Jeno's bedside table. That bracelet didn't leave its place over the course of her visitation and she never once asked him about it. Now that she thought of it, he was keeping it close because of its sentimental value.

"It's the same bracelet, right?" Solji asked and pointed at the beaded accessory on the girl's wrist.

"Nope. But she made it for us, Mark and I. Mark lost his but I still kept mine," Jeno answered.

"Who is she?"

"A childhood friend of mine. Her name is Jeon Heejin."

There was a hint of sadness in Jeno's voice but he was fast enough to cover it. Good thing, Solji was too focused on the picture to even notice the slightest change.

Solji traced the angelic face of the girl.

"Where is she? Are you still friends with her?"

Jeno shook his head. "I don't know where she is. Or if she's still alive. The last time I saw her, she was lying in a hospital bed with little hope to live. I'm not sure if she survived. The next day after I visited her, her entire family was gone, including her."

It was as though Jeno lost a huge part of his life the way he talked about his lost childhood friend. Solji gave him a hug. She didn't know what else to do and she was saddened by the fact that little Jeno woke up one day to find out that his friend was gone. Not the dead gone but vanished without a trace.

The worst type of goodbye was not being to say goodbye at all.

"Don't worry, I'm not sad," Jeno attempted to reassure her but they both knew damn well he was fooling himself.

Not knowing what to say at all, Solji stood up.

"Let's dance," Solji suggested and pulled Jeno up to his feet, the photo album neglected on the couch. She played one of the vinyl records she bought for him and a slow and relaxing sound of violin filled the living room. She pulled him into the center and put his hands on her waist before wrapping her arms around his neck, her head resting on his chest.

Like magic, the heavy feeling he felt earlier was gone, replaced by the fluttering in his stomach. Jeno was nervous that Solji would hear his heart beating erratically, but Solji was just as nervous.

None of them broke the contact and swayed in each others arms to the rhythm of the music with their eyes closed. Jeno rested his cheek on top of Solji's head and let out a contented sigh.

They could stay like that forever, listening to the relaxing music with their bodies glued together.

While swaying, a troubling question was formulated in their minds.

Are we only doing this because we're engaged or is there something more to it?

***

Walking absentmindedly while eating chocolate fudge, Solji found herself in front of the Business Management building. It was her vacant time and she had absolutely no business going there but that was where her feet took her.

Walking with no destination in mind became her habit.

One of the doors on the first floor opened, revealing Mark with a tousled curly hair. They made eye contact before realizing who they were looking at.

A smile instantly spread across Mark's lips, emphasizing his cheekbones as he walked towards her. Solji mirrored his smile, waiting for him.

"What are you doing here?" Mark asked and didn't wait for Solji to answer. "Don't tell me you went here because you missed me? Oh no, Solji. You're engaged, we couldn't be. I don't flirt with engaged women. But for you... I'll probably make an exception."

Solji rolled her eyes at the ridiculous conclusion Mark had made. "Don't get too ahead of yourself. I had nothing better to do and my feet took me here."

"What a lame way to say that you went here while thinking about me!"

Mark wiggled his eyebrows playfully and received a full-on smack on the arm from Solji. He cried in pain and dramatically cradled his stinging arm as if it was cut off.

"Whatever. I'm leaving," Solji said and walked away. Mark followed her and she only shook her head.

"Where are we going?" Mark asked.

"We? Why are you following me?"

"They said to follow my dreams."

"Can you be a little more creative?"

"I can't. You might fall for me."

Solji huffed and rolled her eyes once again. Every time she's with Mark, she would always roll her eyes and enjoy his company at the same time. They arrived at the bleachers and occupied the seat where they sat before. Solji was looking ahead with, her eyes blank. Mark sensed that there was something bothering her.

"You know you can tell me if you are having a problem."

"Why would I? You're too talkative. You might spread the word around," Solji joked and Mark gasped indignantly.

"How could you think so lowly of me? After everything we've been through?"

Solji chuckled and looked ahead once again. Mark found himself shamelessly staring at her side profile.

He still found her beautiful. Nothing had changed that fact, even after he found out that she was his cousin's fiancé. He had always been vocal about his admiration towards her but she always laughed at it and shrugged it off as if it was just a joke.

Perhaps, that was better that way. For Solji not to take his feelings seriously so nothing would change between them. He could still admire her silently until the admiration disappears.

"You grew up with Jeno, right?" Solji asked without looking at Mark.

Of course, Jeno, Mark thought to himself as he felt his throat tightened.

"Yep! Why? Do you want to know any embarrassing moments about him?" he asked. He smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Of course not. But... do you know a girl named Jeon Heejin?" Solji asked and she finally looked at him, her eyes hopeful.

Mark gulped and looked away. "Uh... of course! The three of us grew up together. Jeno finally told you about her?"

Solji nodded. "Yeah, but he didn't tell me everything."

"And you are hoping to find out everything through me?"

Solji nodded once again.

"Why do I feel like you're only using me?" Mark stated dramatically once again. There's not a day that he didn't act like a drama queen.

"I'll buy you watermelon shake after this," Solji bribed and Mark's eyes instantly lit up.

"So what do you want to know?" Mark asked eagerly as he crossed his legs and propped his elbow on his knee, cupping his chin while looking at Solji which made her chuckle.

Even that sounded music to his ears. He was probably going insane.

"Tell me everything you know," Solji answered.

"You better prepare yourself because this is going to be a long ass story time," Mark warned her. He leaned back on his seat and Solji copied him.

"I have enough time to listen."

Mark cleared his throat and began the story.

"Okay, first of all. Heejin grew up in New York like Jeno and I. Aside from me, Heejin was Jeno's first friend. He was shy and timid when he was young and he wouldn't play with anyone except for me. However, Heejin persisted. Every time her mother would visit Jeno's mother, Jeno would shut himself in his room and Heejin would knock on it nonstop until he opened it.

"She persisted and persisted until Jeno had enough and opened the door. He found her playing alone outside of his room, waiting for him. Even when he had given her a hard time, Heejin still greeted him with a warm smile which eventually made Jeno come out of his shell.

"They were inseparable. Jeno found himself enjoying Heejin's company until he didn't need me anymore. He found another friend to play with. It made me proud of course, to see how far he had come. And it was all because of Heejin. She made a friendship bracelet for us. I lost mine but Jeno still kept his on his bedside table."

"Yeah, I saw that one."

"As kids, of course they had fights but nothing they couldn't fix. Jeno could never resist Heejin. But the last time they fought, Jeno regretted it a lot.

"You see, Heejin stopped visiting Jeno and after a week, we were struck by an unfortunate news. Heejin was diagnosed with leukemia and she had to stay in the hospital for her treatment. Jeno would visit her every time he could, even begging his mother one time just to be with her.

"He witnessed how she would cry in pain and he would get mad at himself because he couldn't do anything. One time, he told Heejin: I will marry you someday so I can protect you from any harm. I promise I will never let you get hurt again.

"Heejin only smiled. Sadly, she knew what's about to happen to her. She had a very slim chance of surviving and her parents did everything they could to keep her alive. So, Heejin said no. Jeno was mad and asked her why. She told him that she's leaving him soon and she didn't want to make him sad.

"Jeno, being young and immature, walked out and didn't visit Heejin for a few days. I talked to him about it and knocked some sense to his pea-sized brain.

Solji smack him. "He was young!"

"Alright, sorry. Going back to the story, I accompanied Jeno to the hospital to visit Heejin. I remembered him wearing his most favorite shirt and shoes and picked flowers to give to her but when we got there, Heejin was already gone. She's not dead, but her family moved to Europe. They told us that's where she's going to get treated. We never heard anything from her since that day. We didn't know if she survived or not and we could only hope for the best."

"She was gone before he could even apologize. He's probably still carrying the weight of his actions," Solji murmured and Mark nodded.

"I told him to forgive himself because that's what Heejin would want him to do but no amount of pep talk could make Jeno let go of that guilt."

As promised, Solji bought Mark watermelon shake and the latter skipped his way back to the Business Management building. After the story, Solji felt a weight of sadness resting on her back. She couldn't figure out why, but hearing somebody's sad backstory made her feel the pain that the person went through.

She was highly affected mostly because that person was Jeno.

***

"You've been down the past few days. Is everything okay?" Karina asked one time while they were hanging out at Solji's house. Her friends noticed how she would heave a sigh while looking at the distance.

"Did my cousin do something to you?" Yeji asked.

Solji sighed once again. She was lying on her bed with her feet dangling on the edge, her arms spread wide. She invited her friends over, expecting that the heavy feeling would go away. She fooled herself that she only missed them. Their presence helped to ease the heaviness, but it didn't disappear.

"No, he did nothing wrong," Solji answered and with another heavy sigh, she lifted herself up to face the two. "I feel so pathetic right now."

"Tell us what's bothering you," Karina urged her.

"Come on now, Solji. We've known each other for years. We're not going to judge you. If you killed someone, we're going to help you bury the body," Yeji said.

Solji chewed her lip, finding the right words to say. "I don't know if I can say this properly but... fine, okay, here we go."

She filled them in with the events the past few days, earning a raise on one eyebrow when she mentioned that she had been hanging out with Jeno in his house but they said nothing. They remained quiet until Solji was finished with her story and she was looking at them expectantly, waiting for a response.

"I mean, that shit's pretty heavy though not gonna lie," Karina said and Yeji nodded in agreement.

"But what exactly made you feel awful?" Yeji asked. "You can be sad about it, but to carry that misery for a days?"

"That's the thing. I can't... I can't point it out. Or rather, I can't choose the right words to say it without sounding immature. I... fuck it."

"Say it. Say what you think, no sugarcoating or choosing words with less intensity. Say what's on your mind."

Solji took a deep breath, letting go of any inhibitions.

"I'm jealous."

Yeji and Karina were flabbergasted.

"I didn't expect that one," Yeji admitted.

"You didn't? I saw that coming. But still, it's shocking."

"See? I know I sound so immature right now. I don't know exactly why I'm feeling this way, I mean they're kids! I used to make mud pies and eat them when I was young and---"

"Ew! That's so gross!"

"What the hell, Kim Solji?"

Solji let out an exasperated sigh. "That's not the point. The point is, when you're a kid, you just do whatever you want, say whatever you wanna say. And Jeno is not an exception. But why... why the hell do I feel like this? Why does it feel so heavy knowing that he was willing to do everything for that friend? I mean, come on, I should understand the fact that she's his only friend aside from his cousin. But why? Why does it bother me that after all these years, he's still thinking about her?"

The room fell silent. Solji was breathing heavily as her chest constricted in pain. Voicing out her feelings had been difficult for her especially now that she thought that she was wrong for feeling that way.

"I have grown... so attached to him that I feel so sensitive, so easily jealous. I know it's not right but I can't help it. I tried to fight it. I swear I did. But I can't just change what I feel."

A lone tear cascaded down Solji's cheek and she wiped it angrily. She thought she didn't deserve to cry at all. Not at that moment.

"Solji..." Yeji softly called. "I think you just answered your own question."

Solji stopped in her tracks, realizing that it all made sense. But even if her question was answered, it didn't make her feel better.

***

Avoiding Lee Jeno was probably the dumbest solution Solji had thought.

She was still embarrassed of herself for being jealous over something that happened in the past and she felt a surge of guilt every time she faced Jeno.

I will avoid him at all cost until I'm ready to face him again, Solji told herself.

She hated herself for being immature. This was her punishment to herself.

Every time she would cross paths with Jeno, she would make a lame excuse not to talk to him. This, of course, didn't get unnoticed by Jeno himself.

Solji was eating lunch alone in the cafeteria while reading a book in Chemistry when Jeno joined her table, sitting across her. Seeing Jeno made her stop as the blood drained from her face. Jeno beamed at her.

"Hi!"

"J-Jeno... hello..."

Jeno instantly noticed how nervous Solji was.

"Are you okay?" Jeno asked, concern etched on his face.

Solji nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah! I am. I... uh... I have to go. My class will start in a minute. See yah!"

She stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving her food untouched.

The next few days were the same.

Solji would retreat every time she saw even a glimpse of Jeno's shadow and it made the latter wonder what he did wrong. He sought for his cousin's help hoping that he could be enlightened somehow.

"Is Solji acting weird lately?" Jeno asked Mark while they were eating dinner at Mark's house.

"I mean, she's always yelling at me. That's her usual self whenever I'm around. Is that considered weird?"

"If it's you then not really."

"Why are you asking me? You're her fiancé."

"I don't really need to ask, I just needed your answer to confirm my hunch. Solji has been avoiding me for the past few days and it made me wonder what I did wrong."

Jeno slouched on his seat and let out a huff. He had not been getting enough sleep due to the fact that he was restless. He couldn't get a hold of Solji to try and pry the answer from her. She was too good at dodging him.

"Give her time. She will come to you when she's ready. Forcing her will only give you an unwanted result. Let her be."

Perhaps, that was the best advice that Mark had said because when Jeno stopped looking for Solji, she started wondering where he was.

It was a lazy afternoon when they accidentally bumped into each other in the library. Jeno was returning the books that he borrowed when Solji arrived at the same shelf. Their eyes met for a second and Solji contemplated of running away when Jeno broke the eye contact.

"Hey," Jeno greeted Solji and offered her a small smile before walking past her, making sure that they wouldn't touch. It made Solji's heart ache.

Of course he'll notice! Solji thought to herself. He knows you more than you know yourself.

"Jeno!" Solji called him and turned around, but he was nowhere to be found. She wanted to bash her head on the shelf. She was so stupid for avoiding him when it clearly did nothing good to both of them. It only made them think tirelessly.

"Damn it!" Solji muttered angrily under her breath.

***

Days went on like that, Solji and Jeno falling in each other's paths accidentally. Solji would try to approach and Jeno would dash away before she could say a word. She was frustrated, but she brought that to herself.

She knew she had to fix it and the only way to do it was to reach out to him first. She badly wanted to ask for Mark's help but she was too embarrassed to bother him. For the past few days, she was always spending time with Mark to fill in the void.

But nobody could ever replace Jeno. She admitted that to herself.

And now, she's in the kitchen covered in floor and grains of sugar stuck on the sides of her lips. She was baking a chocolate cake as an apology for Jeno. She also made a list of the things she wanted to talk about.

There was a small voice inside her telling her that Jeno could possibly refuse to see her because he got tired of understanding her.

Her heart sunk at the thought of Jeno telling her to go away. She scolded herself for being attached to him and for getting so used to his presence. He surely made her feel more alive. Made her feel special. It would be a real horror if Jeno truly got tired and she didn't know how she would bounce back from that.

No negative thoughts! Solji reprimanded herself and pulled herself together. She should focus on what's on her plate before thinking painful scenarios that were only possible in her head.

Solji carefully placed the beautifully decorated cake in a pink box. She wrote the words I'M SORRY on the cake and sealed the box with a transparent cover so that Jeno could easily see it.

After everything was set, Solji texted Jeno.

"Let's meet at the park in thirty minutes. See you."

And then, she fastened her seatbelt and drove to the park where they had a picnic. The sky was swallowed by darkness and the road was lit by lampposts. Solji's grip on the steering wheel tightened as her mind was plagued with different scenarios that could possibly happen, none of it was good.

Meanwhile, Jeno spat his drink when he saw the text message from Solji.

He had been miserable all by himself but he endured it and gave Solji space. Gave her what she wanted even though it pained him.

He badly wanted to hug her and shower her with kisses. He missed her too damn much that it was too overwhelming for him to even start describing what he was feeling.

The message made him nervous. It could probably mean anything. It could be a good thing, but could be bad as well.

He chose to believe the former. Maybe Solji was ready to talk to him. Maybe they would stop avoiding each other now.

He pushed his troubled thoughts away as he got dressed, bringing two coats with him since it was cold outside and Solji was probably wearing only a few layers. He left his house even though he still had plenty of time. He didn't want to make her wait.

Jeno sat on the nearest bench where he could see the cars arriving. Soon enough, he spotted Solji's car.

As soon as Solji was arm's away from him, he pulled her into a hug and buried his face on her neck, inhaling her scent. Perhaps, he was too impulsive and she would push him away, but it never came.

Solji let herself relax and melt in Jeno's arms. The misery that was weighing them down the past few days dissipated instantly.

"Avoiding you was really a bad idea," Solji whispered with her eyes closed. She felt Jeno chuckle while still buried in her neck.

"Worst idea, you mean?"

"Yeah. The worst and most stupid thing ever."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, arms wrapped around each other without speaking. It was comforting for both of them and they didn't want to let go but Solji suddenly remembered the cake she baked for him. She lightly pushed him away and Jeno got what she meant.

"I baked this for you as an apology. I'm really sorry, Jeno," Solji said and handed Jeno thr paper bag. When he opened it, he instantly read the message written on the cake. His heart melted and he pulled her once again into a quick hug. They settled on the bench Jeno was sitting on earlier. He was cradling the cake in his arms.

"Can you tell me why you avoided me?" Jeno asked.

Solji's eyes met his and for a moment, she felt the guilt and shame clawing her heart. Jeno would think she was ridiculous, immature, and he would probably leave her right there and then.

A lump formed in her throat as tears prickled her eyes. She had to do it. She couldn't just apologize to Jeno without telling him the real reason.

Jeno noticed her discomfort and his hand moved on its own to hold hers.

"If you can't tell me now, it's okay. You don't have to force yourself if you're not ready. What's important is that you're here sitting in front of me. That's what matters the most."

"But Jeno---" Solji said. "It will be unfair to you. You're always putting me first. The amount of times I gave you a hard time and you still chose to understand me was unhealthy."

"It's okay---"

"No, it's not!" Solji gathered all the courage to speak up. "I was jea---"

She was interrupted when Jeno's phone rang inside his pocket.  He gave her an apologetic look.

"Go ahead. It might be important."

"I'm sorry," Jeno said and fished the phone out of his pocket. It was Mark. Jeno stepped away for a bit and answered the call.

Solji observed Jeno's expression. His handsome face was twisted in a frown. It was replaced by confusion, then his eyes widened in surprise as his hands flew to his mouth. The look of surprise didn't leave for a while as he listened to Mark. Then, he happily run towards her and gave her a hug. He was so overjoyed that he lifted her up and twirled her around.

"What's happenening? Jeno! Put me down!"

Jeno did what he was told. He was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes disappearing into crescents.

"Jeno? What is it? What did Mark tell you?"

Jeno cupped Solji's face.

"She's back! Heejin's back!"