Rowan's POV:

The word stupidity didn't do enough justice in describing how much of a scatterbrain I was.

I glanced toward the pearl grey sky with a shake of my head, flexing my fingers and urging my shoulders to let go of the lingering tension. I counted to three in my head before backtracking to one. With a breath, I inhaled the petrichor scent of the earth before exhaling the chaos of my thoughts. 

I hadn't hit him.

I held on to the small but significant truth, as I willed the rivers of adrenaline coursing through me to a calm. Although I knew no harm had been done, my body had yet to catch up. My hands still trembled, preventing me from keeping a steady hold on my bag, while my heartbeat stampeded against my ribcage.

Perhaps if I'd tried really hard, I could have been able to rid my memory of the interaction that had just happened. Yet as much peace that would have brought me, I found myself not wanting to forget entirely. 

I couldn't believe I'd almost hit someone...an inhumanly gorgeous someone at that. 

Although that was definitely beside the point.

With a frown, I leaned off of the wall I had stopped at, having regained my breath after taking a moment away from the eyes that still floated around in my mind. It was clear in his expression that he hadn't believed I was completely okay. The last thing I needed was to prove him right.

"Get it together, Rowan," I murmured silently, pushing my hair from my face as I stood straight. I took a step at the same time that the sky broke, pregnant clouds giving way as rain began to shower the ground.

Crap.

I eyed the plaza I still had to cross in order to get to the science building. I knew that any hopes of waiting out the rain and still making it to class on time would be in vain. I would have to run for it.

Ducking my head, and wishing I'd brought a jacket, I stepped out into the humidity. I shivered as the wet droplets landed on my clothes, urging me to walk faster. But unlike the rain, my thoughts weren't so easily run from.

 It was terrifying to think of how easy it could have been for something to go wrong. For me, to have hit him. I winced as I played the encounter back in my head, my footsteps leading me in the direction of the lecture halls ahead. Gosh, I needed to be more aware. I took a deep breath, my chest expanding but still not freed from the foreboding pressure of shame. My eyes roamed, taking in the orange mosaics of leaves on the trees and the earthy scent of fall that lingered in the air.

Yet, my attempt at a distraction was useless. Not when my mind only wanted to focus on one thing.

He'd been something else. Well-mannered, humorous, and blessed in the looks department.

Like really blessed.

Undeniably thick dark hair, flawless bronzed skin, and a sculpted jaw....yes, he definitely checked the boxes when it came to all things physical. His t-shirt had fit snuggly against broad shoulders, that were accentuated by a well-structured face. Yet what had been so attractive about him hadn't been purely superficial either.

There was something about him...something that had been intense in the same way it was calming. 

Maybe it had been his easy-going nature, which had tugged his suggestive lips into the most perfect grin, that was making me feel so strange. Or maybe it was the way that, paradoxically, he had seemed more concerned for me than he had for himself. I wasn't sure what it was. But what I did know was that the encounter would forever be engraved in my mind.

Along with the rest of him.

His smile. 

His laugh. 

His eyes.

The light had hit them perfectly, creating a gorgeous collage of green, amber, and something else I wasn't sure how to describe. Every step he took had been aired with ease, contrasting with the depth in his eyes. 

It suddenly hit me that that could have been why he'd been so alluring. 

Because he was the exact opposite of me.

Calm. Laidback. Worry less.

Don't even get me started about the way my name has rolled out of his mouth. My face had instantly gone hot then, in a way I hoped hadn't been noticeable. His voice had been teaming with surety, cradling the syllables as if the heavens themselves had crafted my name just for him to say.

What's in a name, people ask?

Well, obviously a lot. I don't care how much of an intellect, Shakespeare was. Even he couldn't change my mind.

My thoughts were jerked to a halt when my body lurched. A gasp left my mouth as my heart skipped a beat at the impending doom. Fortunately enough for me, after a fair amount of flailing around, I regained my balance before joining the jagged crack in the pavement I'd tripped over.

I let out a heavy breath, shaking my head with an amused laugh. That was until I glanced back up, my face ablaze as I took in the few bystanders who were shooting me a mix of concerned and perplexed looks. It looked as if everyone else had come prepared, their umbrellas shielding them from the downpour.

Cheeks burning, I managed a tight smile before beginning to walk again, albeit more slowly. 

Who could outrun the rain anyway?

I shook my head, realizing that I was clearly distracted and in no state for a lecture.

Yet, even though being distracted had caused me to nearly faceplant just seconds earlier, the memory of Elijah and his apology had wrapped around my mind again. My eyes stayed on the ground as I thought about the expression that had been in his eyes. At first, he had seemed wary, but then there had also been understanding. I had expected him to be angry at almost being it, but he had been oddly forgiving.

Most people would have let me have it, delivering the reprimanding of a lifetime.  But he hadn't. 

He would never know how much that meant to me.

The door to my lecture room was already open when I slipped inside, my eyes slipping straight to the front and joy settling in my chest upon seeing that the professor hadn't arrived yet.

Perfect. Finally a little luck in my life.

Finally able to catch my breath and slow down for the first time that morning, I scanned the room for an empty seat. Triumph rose within me when I spotted the lone wolf in the middle of the auditorium. But my victory was short-lived, my breath catching as my eyes slipped to the seat beside it.

A seat that was occupied.

What were the odds?

My eyes widened, and I hesitated, scanning the room for any other possible empty seats. Of course, like usual, the odds weren't in my favor. My stomach dipped when I didn't find one, my nerves playing tag throughout my body.

Oh boy. This wasn't good. Not one bit.

I began to trod forward slowly, remorseful that my only options were to sit in the seat or keep standing at the front of the auditorium. I chose the latter since I was already drawing eyes. The attention made my skin prickle. With my gaze trained straight ahead, I continued to walk, my palms clammy as I gripped them into fists.

Lord give me strength.

Elijah seemed clueless of my approach as I drew nearer, his chin propped on his palm, and his legs extended. His position showed off bronzed skin and strong arms, his shirt doing wonders to show off the definition I'd been quick to take notice of earlier. I couldn't help but notice that he sat as if he owned the seat, the ridiculously attractive smile from earlier still fitting his lips. But he seemed oblivious to the attention he was clearly drawing, his eyes slightly unfocused. It was as if although his body was present in the room, his mind wasn't. 

Holding my breath, I stepped over backpacks that were littering the aisle, whispering my pardons as a part of me hoped he'd never look up. For good reason, running into him a second time made me even more jittery. I mean I had almost hit him with my car the first time I'd met him.

 Who knew what I would do during the second encounter?

I continued the rest of my way to my doom, pausing when as soon as I sat down, hazel eyes shot to mine. I managed a small smile in response to Elijah's surprised one. His expression was followed by a low laugh that washed over me in waves and settled deep in my stomach.

A siren herself would have been tempted.

"Well, you are drenched." His eyebrows lifted, as his eyes roamed my face. I'd never felt more exposed before in my life. I wasn't sure how I felt about it yet. "Fancy seeing you here. Although I am worried that you may be in for catching the cold of a lifetime."

I let go of the breath I was holding seeing that his words were followed by a slow twitch of his lips, as he sat up straighter in his chair.

I could do this. So far nothing bad had happened again. Yet.

"I know," I laughed, hoping to subdue the flutter of my stomach as I nodded.  "What a small, and wet, world it is." I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, wishing fate could have spared a minute to make me more calm, cool, and collected. "I mean..." I trailed off, not finding the words to save myself. "Yeah, the rain was bad."

Someone kick me now.

At this point, I wouldn't have blamed him if he perceived me as inept.

To my relief and despite my growing embarrassment, Elijah chuckled, his eyes remaining without judgment. I shifted in my wet clothes, hating the feel of wet denim against my shivering body.

"Darn straight about that." His grin grew, as he sat up, drawing his jacket from around his shoulders. "You aren't here to hit me with your car again, are you? Or maybe you are just trying out the stalker lifestyle."

I shrugged, feeling slightly more comfortable at the sight of his humorous gaze. 

"Fortunately enough for you, my car isn't big enough to fit in the lecture hall." He raised an eyebrow, his grin growing handsomely. I ignored the spark of attraction that sprang through me. "Besides, maybe I should be asking you about the stalker thing considering I've never seen you in here before."

Amusement flashed in his eyes as he propped his elbow on the armrest of his seat. My eyes widened when he held his jacket out to me, and I shook my head in surprise.

"No," I stammered, flattered by his kindness, even if I didn't think I deserved it. " I will just get it all wet."

"What's a little water?" Just my luck. He was a true gentleman. "Besides you are shivering and my mother raised me better than to let a woman go cold without offering her my jacket." I stared at him, wide-eyed, as he smiled further, stretching his jacket forth once again. "Please take it."

Half-shocked in the slight plea of his gaze I reached out, my fingers wrapping around the linen material. Elijah smiled as I drew it toward me, catching the waft of something that I could only describe as masculine.

"W-well thank you," I finally uttered, my face growing hot once more. "That is really kind of you."

He shrugged. "Don't mention it."

Realizing I was still standing and feeling the burn of priful eyes I sat down, tugging on the jacket. I pretended to act as if I hadn't seen the satisfaction that flashed across his face when I glanced at him.

"About what you said about being a stalker earlier," I murmured, attempting to keep myself from thinking about his expression, "how do I know that it isn't you, I should be worried about."

I was surprised by the smoothness of my delivery. The steadiness in my words was the opposite of the nervous beating in my chest.

He chuckled.

"Touche. Although, I was in class first. So I don't think I am the one in question. I don't know how I could have missed that you were in this class too."

Even though he said it as a statement, there was a question in his eyes.

"I usually sit in the back." 

It was true, I preferred to be out of the spotlight.

He nodded. "Well for what it is worth, I am glad all the seats in the back were filled today."

I said nothing, letting his words roll around in my head. If he was anyone else I would have been flattered. But with those looks and the confidence, I wasn't so sure that the words hadn't met the ears of plenty of eager damsels before me. 

Telling myself that it wasn't wise to play into his words, I grabbed my bag, pretending to look for something and giving myself time to gather my thoughts.

"Yes, because I am sure it is your life goal to sit next to the person who almost ran you over," I said a second later, still searching for my mystery item.

Witty. I know.

My words were received with a laugh so rich, that it caused my cheeks to go hot, my gaze flitting to a few people that looked back a few rows down. I didn't miss the way a few of the girl's gazes landed on Elijah. As a matter of fact, mine did the same. Warmth blanketed my face when I took in the fact that he was smiling at me, a single dimple crescented on his right cheek. It almost seemed out of place considering how defined the rest of his features were, giving him an almost boyish charm. But it didn't make him any less handsome. 

Oh boy.

I didn't blame the other girls for the dazed look in their eyes.

"How long are you going to keep beating yourself up about that?"

I laughed with a nonchalant shrug, even though on the inside the guilt remained. I knew better than anyone that driving while unaware of the surroundings was dangerous. The smile I pinned on my face felt slightly strained.

"Until I forget it."

The sentence fell out of my mouth with ease, despite the gravity weighing them down. I inhaled slowly, my words landing heavily in my stomach.

How funny.

Elijah opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short before speaking, his eyes darting to the door when a small stocky man entered the room. I followed his gaze, immediately holding back a smile. Something told me we students weren't the only ones wishing they were somewhere else at nine in the morning. 

The short man at the front of the class appeared slightly disheveled, his suit jacket slightly rumpled and a frown on his face. I was stuck between trying to figure out if he was attempting to remember what today's lesson was, or wondering why he had decided to show up to teach it in the first place.

It was an aura he sported every day.

"Seems like someone is not having a good morning."

That was an understatement.

"Yeah," I answered, seeing my way out of making any more of an idiot of myself as I listened to our professor try to quiet the room.  "Well as interesting as this morning has been, I think our conversation has to come to a close or Professor Burns will have a fit. It was nice meeting you though." Elijah scoffed in amused agreement, and I glanced in his direction. 

When his eyes met mine his mouth curved upward, his eyebrows raising as if in question.

"That sounded a hell of a lot like a goodbye, Rowan." I took a breath when he leaned in. The tight seating had already placed him close enough for me to have more than a lungful of the gentle spice of whatever body wash he had used that morning, but this was almost too much. My eyes dipped, breaking eye contact as I watched his smile grow. "Might be too early for that considering you are still sitting next to me."

Right. Although it was unlikely that even my screwed-up memory could make me forget that.

Not trusting myself to say anything, I nodded at the same time that three dull taps cut through the air. I felt the change in the room as all eyes focused ahead.

"As of today, we are moving on from last month's unit and into a new one. Cold cases. Or what may be better known as our lost causes."

His words would have been hurtful if they weren't true.

Burns's words echoed through the quiet air, leaving a chill in the room. I knew it was coming. After all, I had read the syllabus. But considering the fact that my life had become a cold case of its own, I had been dreading this unit. If anyone hadn't been listening before, they were now, all eyes on the man whose face was solemn as he stared back at us.

If it wasn't for the scowl on his face, his disheveled appearance might have made him impossible to take seriously. Yet as soon as he spoke there was a shift in the air, the solemn glaze in his eyes darkening the mood in the room.

Although the choice of wording could be seen as a little harsh, he was right. After all that was the reality of all criminal cases that had been closed. Leaving grief unrelieved and questions remaining.

I listened quietly, drowned in the lull of the professor and hum of the projector as he ran through the most well-known cold cases, the images detailed enough to make anyone squirm in their seats. A side effect of being human no doubt.

My eyes stayed focused as faceless names and names without faces flashed across the whiteboard telling of abductions, murders, and the less angering cases that had left even the most skilled police stumped.

By the time it was all over, the air in the room had changed. It was as if everyone was scared to speak, or even breathe too loudly for fear of interrupting the peace of all the victims who had never been found.

Or never received justice.

"Your assignment for this unit will be to choose a cold case and write a paper on it." My eyebrows lifted as I glanced back at the professor. He stepped from behind the podium, gesturing to a stack of manilla folders before grabbing them and allowing for one to be taken row by row. When the stack reached me. I hesitated for a moment, before removing the folder that now belonged to me from the top of the pile. I passed it down, most looking up as I stared at the blank canvas that I knew concealed a face...a name...a story.

"Each folder holds a different case. Your job is to find the holes, the things that don't add up." Professor Burns paused for a minute before starting again. "As our future investigators, detectives, officers, and agents it is going to one day be your job to see what others didn't. What others still can't. That starts here."

I took a breath, the unusual assignment creating unease that I did my best to stifle. I blinked once before moving to put the folder in my bag reminding myself that I had chosen this class...and to pursue a profession in criminal justice for a reason.

I could do this. I knew it because the reality was that I wasn't just holding an envelope in my hands, but a life. A life that was tied back to individuals whose love had turned to grief, and hope to despair. This may have just been an assignment for me, but for someone out there this was personal.

I knew all too well how that felt.

"Now turn to your right. This will be your partner. If you are at the end of the row pair up with the person in front of you."

I froze, staring at the front and trying to figure out if I had heard him correctly.

Partners.

Just my luck. Considering that it was nearly impossible to pretend that it wasn't Elijah who was on my left I knew that I was doomed. 

That or I could run. An option that was looking more and more enticing as time passed.

"So I guess that means we are working together."

With a slight jump, I lifted my head, my cheeks burning from embarrassment when the movement earned me a raised eyebrow. "Sorry," I murmured. "I got a little lost in thought."

I decided to leave out the part that I had been contemplating ways to get out of working with him.

A sense of peculiar understanding flashed across his gaze as he shrugged. "Understandable. This lecture was a little...unexpected." The last part was spoken in a whisper that trailed off, the silence holding a hint of something I couldn't place.

We all had our reasons for choosing the path we were on. His lay unspoken in his eyes as he nodded once before sending me a sincere smile.

Secrets.

We all had them.

"So?"

I shook my head having been distracted by the heaviness in his eyes. Just like everyone else, he could only hide so much.

I wanted to know his story.

"Would you like to get coffee sometime then? Discuss the project in an environment that is not so solemn." His eyes darted to the front as he shifted in his seat. "Heaven knows after this lecture we both could use it." His eyes were downcast when I glanced at him. I would have believed I'd imagined his words if his gaze hadn't lifted a second later, green eyes lingering on me expectantly.

Although I agreed with him, I was hesitant to agree to work over coffee. With situations like these, I tried to remain as distant as possible. Opting to finish work over the computer rather than in person. That way it was easier to feign my forgetfulness as miscommunication due to technology.

In-person, that wasn't so easy to do.

 "Don't worry it is all in the past really," He added in a hushed whisper, leaning in and drawing my gaze to his mouth. I cleared my throat when I realized my lack of subtleness. I would have felt embarrassed, but then his gaze dipped a moment later. My breathing stuttered. 

"What is?"

I felt my face grow warm when his mouth curved into a warm smile and his gaze rose to mine.

"You almost hitting me. Besides I am sure it will be way better than emailing back and forth."

A hint of warmth that I knew gave away my embarrassment as I watched him watch me. 

Oh, he was good.

For a minute I was able to forget the melancholiness of the lecture, my mind on other things.

"I've done it before." The response came out before I could think, surprising even me. I didn't want to come across as rude, especially not after nearly crushing him, but I also wasn't sure if today was the day my routine changed.

Keeping people at bay was what kept me safe. From the lengthy look of requirements on the board, I was sure that one coffee once agreed to, would turn into two and then three, and then more.

That was way too many.

Despite my words and to my partial dismay, Elijah just shrugged. "Maybe you have but with the list of things we have to do, working in person might be easier." He paused, a small smile curving his lips as he glanced at me. "And more pleasant."

Even though I chose to believe that he meant absolutely nothing by the last part, even though I was sure any other girl would have loved to read into it, I had no choice but to acknowledge what he said as truth.

"You're right."

"I figured you would agree. So coffee?"

I couldn't contain my smile this time as I glanced at my notebook with a small shake of my head. In an alternate reality, where I wasn't flawed, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with the request. Still, I wasn't delusional enough to forget that in the universe I was living in, there were a million things that could go wrong if I were to agree. 

All possibilities that I had to face every waking moment of my days.

Yet still, there was something at the back of my mind that hoped that maybe this one time, my fears wouldn't come to pass. Perhaps this would be one of those instances where the memory benefactors would choose not to make me forget this moment. Especially since the last word that could be used to describe him, was forgettable.

Perhaps the imaginary penny I had yet to relinquish to fate, wouldn't be wasted after all.

It was the way he looked at me that made the proposition true. His unforgettableness was further solidified by his patience and kindness. It was the way that I found myself wanting to agree to his question, and for once not worry about what I would and wouldn't remember in the morning, that had me considering his invitation.

I bit my lip with a tilt of my head, fully aware that I was missing whatever it was the professor was saying.

I mean it was just coffee....or as he had put it, a chance to leave the somber lecture behind. For now.

"Fine,"  I heard myself saying before I had the right sense to stop myself." Here went nothing. But I am buying the first time. It is the least I can do after nearly flattening you."

Even though his mouth was covering his hand, I could see the smile that curved on his face. I almost allowed the expression to stir something in me but I quickly suppressed the sentiment.

Easing tension. That was all this was.

"Or it could just be two people working together...since you didn't actually flatten me."

I tilted my head at that, searching his eyes, feeling as if he was speaking about more than just a project.

I should have said no.

Getting to know each other meant prying. It meant confusion. Even though he was waiting for my reply with total calmness I was anything but.

Yet still, things felt different with him. Even if it was irrational considering precedent, for once saying yes to something, despite the unknown outcome attached to it didn't seem as daunting.

I wasn't sure why he made me feel that way. But it was different. I wanted to accept that change.

"Okay. " I nodded, the sinking feeling in my stomach contradicting my words. I ignored it, telling myself that this was okay. "I will have to find time in my schedule but I can let you know."

"That works perfectly for me."

Lord help me...what was I doing?

I shifted in my seat debating on if I was going to retract my words or not. The excuses laid at the tip of my tongue, images of me flashing a sincere smile as I made up an excuse about my mom needing me.

But none of that happened. Instead, I felt myself nodding once in response to the way his smile widened slightly, a content gleam settling in his eyes. He turned back to face forward, blissfully unaware of the mini panic attack I was having in my seat.

Luckily for me, the wet splotches on my clothes would be enough to hide any sweat stains when I gave his jacket back. I shook my head, my palms uncharacteristically sweaty as I brushed strands of frizzy hair away from my forehead and behind my ear. I just hoped that the sheer sheen of sweat I probably had going on would just be mistaken as an ethereal glow.

It will be okay.

It would be okay.

It would be okay.

To my dismay, none of my mental reassurance could ease the grimy hand of anxiety that tugged at my heart each time I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. When Elijah's gaze snuck over to me, eyes assessing as the lazy smile on his face grew even wider I froze. Even though the glance couldn't have lasted more than a second I felt as if he saw right through me, the calmness in his eyes almost possessing as they washed over me. For a moment the yellow embers of anxiety dulled to a deep and calm purple in my mind, my thoughts slowing. 

I hadn't agreed to anything with the opposite gender for years after my freshman year. Everything with Hayden had been with Skylar and given the dazed expression he got whenever she was around, strictly platonic.

For a minute I wondered if I was more scared of my past or memory getting in the way, or more of a potential good change.

Whatever trail my thoughts were leading me to dissipated when a loud clearing of the voice sounded over the microphone, ending my temporary state of ease. This time holding in the flinch that threatened to burst from my body, I stiffly faced forward, somehow managing to pretend as if I was hearing the rest of what was being said upfront. But really my mind was already back to weighing out all the different ways a single coffee meetup could end in a disaster.

The dismissal couldn't come fast enough, my heart still fluttering as I rushed up from my seat. Without looking into the gaze I felt curiously burning into the side of my head, even though I knew I risked coming across as rude, I packed my bag with lightning speed. I was lucky enough to say I only nearly tripped twice before I made it out of the auditorium, sucking in the fresh air as if it was salvation.

I took a deep breath when I stopped around the corner, ducking into the ladies' room as I felt my muscles ease. I nodded once to myself before turning to stare at myself in the mirror. If he didn't think I was weird before, Elijah probably knew I was known. Yet even though I knew that would have given anybody a logical reason to cancel any premade plans, I had a feeling he wouldn't.

It was the way he had looked at me while I was panicking.

As if without needing to know why, he understood.

I closed my eyes for a beat, mentally scolding myself before opening them again. I needed to not let him get to me as I was clearly already doing. Reading into things led to feelings. 

 The rosy hue of my cheeks and the slight sheen in my eyes proved that point. The small amount of makeup I had put on in the morning had definitely been washed away by the rain so there was nothing I could hide behind as I stared my reflection down in the mirror.

If it wasn't for the flutter of butterflies frenzying in my stomach and the fact that I wasn't sure if I was going to laugh or cry, I would almost say I looked excited. Gripping the white plaster of the sink and staring into the cool gray pools I had for eyes I nodded once.

"Get a grip, Rowan," I muttered to myself. "Feelings only lead to disappointment."

Coffee and a cold case. 

That was all it was. 

I could settle with that.