how does it feel?

San is doing his assignments; it's been a week since he saw Wooyoung. He doesn't know why. Is it because he is busy with his mother's company paperwork, or does the latter avoid him? Ever since he took care of the younger, he has never felt the presence of the other in the university.

"I wonder where he is. Is he avoiding me?" San thought, sitting at the library. He noticed that students began to come in, crowding the place.

Jongho and Yeosang entered the library, finding a vacant spot for their usual advanced study. Fortunately, they found a vacant spot with a person familiar with Yeosang.

"Hi, San!" Yeosang happily called, snapping San out of his thoughts. There, Jongho smiled. The couple walked towards San and sat on the opposite side of the back-haired man.

The elder gave the couple a welcoming smile, his eyes disappearing as he did. Jongho found San warm. He thinks that San is the kind of person who will do anything to make his friend cheer up or bake cookies on winter nights.

"You seemed busy," Yeosang stated, earning a light chuckle from San who closed his binder and placed it above his outputs. Jongho, on the other hand, watches the two converse, observing what makes Wooyoung go crazy for this man.

"Yeah. Deadline's next week and I still have lots to do." San replied, earning a nod from Yeosang and Jongho. Silence fell between the three, the gray-haired and black-haired looking at each other, while the red-haired was close to bursting, wanting to ask San tons of questions.

Minutes had passed, and Jongho exhaled, "I am Choi Jongho. Yeosang seemed to forget to introduce me." He says, glaring at Yeosang while smiling sarcastically. His boyfriend and San giggled.

"I know you. Yeosang told me about you multiple times. You are friends with Wooyoung, correct?" San responded, his voice soft. In the mention of Wooyoung, Jongho's ears perked up, ready to shoot questions.

The red-haired smiled, "Oh, yes! Are you guys close?" Jongho asked, pretending not to know their relationship, just to get information and tease his best friend.

The black-haired nodded, "I can say we are." San replied shortly, earning a weird smile from Jongho which made his face look concerned for the other. Yeosang just gave him a signal that the other was fine.

"I see. Wooyoung doesn't share much about his life and I understand that... I just wanna.. know about two of you." Jongho shared, placing his books aside. Yeosang laughed, their advance study for today will be canceled.

The elder smiled, "Do you know his whereabouts? I haven't seen him everywhere. It's been days." San questioned, shifting the topic to Wooyoung's location. Jongho contemplates for a while and realizes that, though he meets the man every day, they never get to speak for so long.

While silence engulfs the three of them, Jongho thinking, Yeosang and San confused, a familiar man enters the library. Speaking of the devil, the Jung Wooyoung that the two were looking for is now here.

"Oh, Wooyoung's here," Yeosang says as he looks at the man. Jongho watched San as the elder watched Wooyoung. His eyes hold gentleness, and his lips, unbeknownst to him, curved upwards. Truly there's something, right?

There was a moment of silence at their table, the three of them watched as Wooyoung walked close to their table. The three seemed to notice something about the other.

"Didn't know I'd find San with Yeosang and Jongho," Wooyoung stated, sitting beside San who shifted a little to make space for the other.

San watched the other as he chattered, which didn't go unnoticeable for the couple on the opposite side of the table. Though Jongho wanted to watch the other more, he questioned his best friend's whereabouts.

The black-haired man seemed to notice something about Wooyoung. His eyes were red and puffy, his mood seemed to be gloomy.

The black-haired sighed, "My mother and father decided to have a divorce last week." Wooyoung informed, his tone changed, and his face turned gloomy. Jongho was taken aback, even Yeosang was.

San frowned, "Is that why you weren't showing up to school?" He asked with utmost gentleness, not trying to come off otherwise. Wooyoung had his head hung low, and he sighed heavily.

"Hey, we're here, okay?" Jongho consoles his best friend, looking at him fondly. This is the only time he has seen Wooyoung so vulnerable. He, Wooyoung, would never go to school this disheveled. Even if he was running late, he would always make himself presentable.

The atmosphere became melancholic, all of them were silent, watching Wooyoung. San, on the other hand, feels his heart in pain. His heart goes to his friend who is mourning for his family.

Thinking of this possibility to happen to his family, San felt more pain. It must've been much more painful for Wooyoung who is currently experiencing it.

"Woo, I'm here. Cry if you must." San, breaking the silence, assured. He placed his hand on the other's shoulder, slowly rubbing for comfort.

Wooyoung looked at the other, "Thank you, San. I appreciate you." He responded, his voice softly as he spoke.

Jongho and Yeosang looked at Wooyoung, both frowning. The two of them don't know what to do, or what to say. As much as they want to talk, they cannot. It's not because of a lack of empathy, but the lack of words to express their feelings towards Wooyoung's situation.

"We love you, Youngie." Yeosang says, smiling. Jongho nodded, smiling as well. Slowly, the atmosphere became relaxed and bright. Maybe it was the right decision to talk to his friends.

Wooyoung sits in silence. This silence is better, compared to the silence in their house. He feels comfort, for the first time in forever. After his parents' divorce, their house was silent. His mother left and went back to her hometown, while his father overworked himself. He sometimes comes back home just to eat and bathe and will leave again.

Before his mother left, she told him multiple things about his father so he wouldn't be sick. His father tends to forget things, especially when he has loads of paperwork.

What Wooyoung doesn't understand is, why his parents separated. For what reason? He just woke up to his parents, divorce paper on their coffee table, and his mother's luggage prepared.

The black-haired man heavily sighed, resting his head above the table while Yeosang, Jongho, and San watched him do so. San's heart continues to shatter as he watches Wooyoung in this condition. He gathered all his courage and slowly held the younger's hand.

When San was a little boy, his grandmother would always clasp their hands together when San's scared or sad.

"Let's stay like this for a while. I hope this will make you a little better." San comforts, in which Wooyoung nodded. Their hands, then, intertwined under the table.

There, Jongho realized on why Wooyoung is gentle and crazy for San. He understands now. And there, the couple left in awe, Yeosang grinning and Jongho nudging him to stop.