The time Takemichi spends in the hospital each evening - after visiting hours end - is the worst part of his day. Every time he's alone now, memories of those twelve long, solitary years come flooding back. No matter how much time passes, he still can't escape that crushing emptiness. Lately, he's even more afraid of the dark than he used to be.

How did I ever manage before?

Takemichi wonders.

Maybe back then he wasn't really living at all - just existing. Every day was the same routine: lowering his head, letting the words "I'm sorry" slip from his mouth like they were programmed into him. Twelve years of that, and his emotions went numb. No dreams. No ambition. No love. No one to love him.

Whenever he's left alone like this, the real feelings surface. They twist together into a thick, black swamp that pulls him under.

"Everything's going to be fine. Come on, Takemichi, pull yourself together."

He sobs into his pillow, clutching his head, curling up tight under the blanket in a fetal position. He chants the words like a spell, hoping they'll calm him down. But the magic doesn't work anymore.

Nothing's fine. Not even close.

Why am I like this? He thinks bitterly. Everything's supposed to be getting better. He's so close - so close to the future where everyone is happy. He should be excited, hopeful. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't shake off the past - the pain, the loss, the fear. Every time he tells himself this time it'll work out, the future takes another sharp turn toward disaster. The thought terrifies him.

He used to believe that once everything ended, he'd finally be free - that the ghosts of the past would fade. But no. They cling tighter than ever.

Anxiety gives way to doubt, and Takemichi starts to question reality itself. Some nights he wakes up drenched in sweat, shaking, crying from terror. The nightmares are always the same: everyone's dead, lying motionless in pools of blood, and he's there - frozen - forced to watch them die one by one.

Am I overreacting? He wonders. It's all in the past. Why can't I move on, when everyone else doesn't even know any of it?

He feels pathetic - weak and stupid - for torturing himself over things long gone, for being the one to cause everyone worry now.

He remembers their faces when they found out he was depressed - the sadness, the confusion, the stiff, uncertain smiles. And yet, they still tried so hard to take care of him, gentle and patient with every little thing. That only makes the guilt heavier, the self-loathing sharper. He wishes he could hit himself just to snap out of it.

Too heavy. It's too heavy. I can't breathe. It feels like a boulder's pressing down on my chest.

And the truth is, Takemichi's fears aren't unfounded. Everything is still a chaotic mess, and he doesn't even dare to look toward the future.

What's Kisaki planning next? A twisted genius like him - he won't stop.

Has Izana truly changed?

Has Mikey's darkness really been sealed away?

Will there ever be a future where everyone's happy?

Takemichi knows that reality now is far better than in any of his previous timelines, and yet he still can't escape the emotions that drag him back into hell. He doesn't want to feel like this. He truly does treasure the happiness he has now - the laughter, the warmth, the sight of everyone smiling beside him. And in those moments, his own smile is genuine, born from the depths of his heart.

But those shadows inside his mind always return. Sometimes they're faint, just a dull ache he can endure until it passes. Other times, they hit like a violent wave, shattering every trace of joy and light he's managed to gather in this life.

During those moments, Takemichi can't understand what's wrong with him. But now he knows - and that knowledge only makes it worse. He can't calm himself anymore with a few words of self-encouragement, can't just turn himself back into the cheerful version of himself everyone knows: that boy with the pure eyes and the bright, hopeful smile.

By day, he laughs with the others as if nothing's wrong. By night, he lies in bed crying quietly, trapped in a cage of his own emotions, powerless to break free. How pathetic.

He desperately wants someone beside him, but he's terrified of being a burden. They've already worried too much, already endured enough of his darkness.

Don't trouble them. You'll only weigh them down...

Depression is like a bomb - no one knows when it'll explode, and when it does, emotions and actions spiral out of control. That's where Takemichi is now: caught in one of those episodes. Normally, he can hide it, endure it in silence. But not this time.

How do I stop this? How do I make it go away?

Everything spins. He stumbles into the bathroom and splashes cold water onto his face. The sharp chill stings his skin, but it doesn't clear his head. Tears keep falling. He hates himself for being like this.

Then he starts clawing at his arms. Thin red lines bloom across his skin - some shallow, others deep enough to draw blood. He digs his nails in harder, deeper, until he physically can't anymore, until blood wells from the scratches and the pain finally forces him to stop. It hurts - God, it hurts - but at least it's something tangible, something that drowns out the storm inside.

Maybe this is punishment, he thinks. For all the times he tampered with time - changing the past, rewriting the future. Maybe this is what he deserves: to be trapped alone in the very timelines he created. The image of that reversed hourglass flashes in his mind again. Perhaps the final punishment... is his life itself. He doesn't know, and right now, he's too afraid to find out.

Utterly helpless.

He wants to reach out - he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Frantic, Takemichi grabs his phone, scrolling through his contacts with shaking hands, whispering to himself,

"No, Takemichi, don't bother them. Don't. You'll only worry them. What the hell are you doing? It's late - stop it!"

But the need for comfort, for someone's voice, overpowers everything. If he stays alone, he's afraid of what he might do.

His thumb presses the call button before he can think. He holds his breath.

The call connects. The ringing cuts through the silence -

"Partner? What's wrong?"

Chifuyu's voice. The sound alone makes Takemichi's tears spill faster. His vision blurs until all he can see is darkness and the faint glow of the screen. The only thing that feels real is Chifuyu's voice in his ear.

At first, Takemichi covers his mouth, trying to hide his crying. But the warmth and concern in Chifuyu's tone break the dam completely. He sobs uncontrollably, leaving Chifuyu stunned on the other end of the line.

"Partner... I - I..."

His words dissolve into hiccupped breaths and muffled sobs. Chifuyu's heart races in panic. He wishes more than anything he could be there right now, to see what's happening, to hold him.

He knows this isn't just sadness. Takemichi's been trying so hard to endure it, but depression isn't something he can suppress forever. He's read about it, talked to doctors - he knows emotional explosions like this can happen. He has to stay calm to help, he tells himself. But hearing the person he cares about cry like that... it's impossible to stay calm.

His chest tightens painfully, his heartbeat loud in his ears. What should he do?

Depression isn't something to fix with "Cheer up" or "It'll be okay." People like Takemichi know their thoughts are destructive, know they're hurting themselves, and still can't escape it. They want to be happy - they want to think positively - but their own minds refuse to let them.

"Partner, hang on, okay? I'm coming to you right now."

He can't just talk through the phone. Takemichi needs someone there, beside him.

"But, Chifuyu... it's late. I wasn't - sorry - you don't have to come. You can't even get into the hospital right now..."

"I don't care. If I can't get in, I'll climb in. I'm coming. Just wait for me, Takemichi."

Hearing that resolve in Chifuyu's voice, the guilt of "bothering" someone finally slips from Takemichi's shoulders. For once, he doesn't argue. He lets himself want it - to not be alone. Just for tonight, maybe it's okay to need someone.

His voice trembles through the phone, soft and broken.

"I'll wait for you... partner."

Chifuyu reaches the hospital faster than expected - but visiting hours are long over. The gates are locked, security tight. Still, he knows there must be another way in. And if not... well, he's already decided: he'll climb the damn wall if he has to.

Just as he's sizing up the fence, his phone rings again. It's Takemichi. His voice, though still soft, sounds a little steadier this time.

"Chifuyu, I know a way out. Come here and help me - I wanna go for a walk."

"Huh? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Relax, I know a spot."

Earlier, while wandering the hospital garden, Takemichi had noticed a big tree growing close enough to the outer wall to climb. He'd marked it in his mind - just in case. The hospital made him feel suffocated, like he couldn't breathe. He'd told himself that if it ever got too much, he'd escape that way. And now, that time has come.

Following Takemichi's directions, Chifuyu finds the place. He glances up at the wall, anxiety gnawing at him. Then, through the rustle of branches, he hears it - the faint sound of someone moving. A few moments later, Takemichi's voice drifts down, small but clear. Under the dim streetlight, Chifuyu finally spots him struggling to crawl out from the thick canopy of leaves, perched precariously atop the high wall.

Unlike the restless Chifuyu, Takemichi looks almost unnervingly calm. And that calmness... it's the kind that makes Chifuyu's stomach twist, the kind that usually means something reckless is about to happen.

"Partner, I'm jumping! You'd better catch me, or I'm dead meat!"

Before Chifuyu can say anything, Takemichi already leaps down, making Chifuyu's face go pale as his heart nearly bursts out of his chest. He knows Takemichi too well - he never misjudges his instincts about him.

"Hey, wait! At least let me brace myself first!"

But Takemichi doesn't listen. He jumps off the tall wall without a shred of hesitation, completely trusting that Chifuyu will catch him. If there's anyone in the world he can fall toward without fear, it's him.

Chifuyu scrambles forward, arms out, trying to catch him - but the landing is anything but graceful. Forget those shoujo manga moments he's seen where the hero catches the heroine like some kind of prince. No "bridal carry," no dramatic eye contact under the moonlight. Instead, the two of them crash straight to the ground in a mess of limbs and dirt, with leaves raining down around them.

Shoujo manga totally lied to me, Chifuyu thinks bitterly.

Pain shoots through his back, sharp and immediate. His poor spine screams in protest as Takemichi's full weight lands right on top of him. "Ow - my back!"

Ah yes - the legendary Dumb Duo strikes again.

Takemichi, after wincing his way through the initial shock, stays sprawled across Chifuyu's chest for a moment before lifting his head to check if the other boy is okay. Chifuyu props himself up on one arm, grimacing, eyes watering from the pain - but even then, his free arm instinctively wraps around Takemichi, holding him close so he doesn't slip.

Then he smiles. That warm, tender smile - the one Takemichi has been craving all night.

"You hurt anywhere?" Chifuyu asks softly, brushing a leaf from Takemichi's messy blond hair and giving his head a gentle pat.

Whatever pain Takemichi feels can't possibly compare to Chifuyu's, he shakes his head, lips pursed, looking small and pitiful. His eyes are swollen and red from crying, but when he looks at Chifuyu, there's the faintest glimmer of relief. Chifuyu chuckles quietly, smiling back.

"Good. You idiot. Who just jumps like that, huh? At least let me get ready first."

His tone is scolding, but the affection in his voice gives him away completely.

Takemichi looks startled for a moment, his tear-filled eyes widening as he stares blankly at Chifuyu. Chifuyu, too, is taken aback by the way Takemichi looks at him. They stay so close that even under the faint glow of the streetlight, Chifuyu can clearly see the tremor in Takemichi's eyes, the sheen of tears that makes those usually clear blue pupils glimmer even more brightly. They shine like a precious gem that reflects only his image.

There's something dreamlike in Takemichi's gaze, yet behind it burns a desperate yearning - for something, for someone - and that someone, right now, is Chifuyu.

It feels like finding a glimmer of light at the end of despair. That look seems to cry out in silent relief: I've found it.

I want to feel someone's warmth. I want someone to hold me. I want someone's gentle care, to be soothed by affection so deep it washes away this uneasy ache inside me. I want that.

Chifuyu feels his breath catch, his chest tightening under the weight of that need.

Every time Takemichi becomes greedy for love - craving affection, begging for comfort and indulgence - he turns into someone no one can guard their heart against. Every defense of reason and restraint collapses in the face of that vulnerability.

For a fleeting moment, Chifuyu wants to forget that damned thing called friendship between them. He wants to hold that face, wipe away those tears, kiss his temple, kiss the corner of his eyes, kiss those trembling lips - do anything, everything, to drive away the pain tearing Takemichi apart. He wants to whisper, Lean on me. I'll do everything for you. Because I love you*. So much.

Takemichi begins to sob, looping his arms tightly around Chifuyu's neck, burying his face into his shoulder. His small frame trembles, soft sobs breaking the quiet night. His cold nose presses against Chifuyu's neck; tears spill down and soak Chifuyu's shoulder. Takemichi's breath burns hot against his skin, setting it aflame. Even his weary, limp body feels like a glowing ember in Chifuyu's arms.

Chifuyu's heart twists painfully, pounding faster as Takemichi clings to him - like he's holding on to the only lifeline left, his savior in a storm.

Chifuyu can feel his own body stiffen, breathing growing shallow under Takemichi's desperate grip. The words he means to say - something to comfort him - get stuck in his throat. All he can do is press Takemichi's head against his shoulder, wrap his arms around the shaking body, and pat his back in quiet, steady rhythm.

I just... really hope I can protect you*.

His nose stings; tears blur his eyes. Everyone knows Takemichi is a crybaby. A little touched, and his eyes brim with tears. If Chifuyu teases him too harshly, his eyes glisten right away. He's such an easy crier - everyone's softhearted hero.

But in battle, when others need him, Takemichi always stands tall. No matter what, he never lets himself appear weak, never cries pointlessly. Yet now, Chifuyu can see it - he's reached his limit. There's nothing left in him to endure anymore.

It breaks Chifuyu's heart, but part of him also feels a flicker of frustration. That idiot never really told him about the last time travel - always dodging, only revealing scraps when pressed. No matter how much Chifuyu tries to understand what broke him like this, he gets nowhere.

He always hides behind that careless grin, never speaking of his pain.

Idiot. Utter idiot.

What's with that nonsense about wanting Chifuyu to look only toward the future and not worry about the past? Even if Chifuyu knew everything - even if he knew that in some future he's fated to die - it wouldn't matter. It'd just sound like someone else's story.

But this idiot keeps fearing everything, clutching his secrets alone. Doesn't he know Chifuyu has been waiting, day after day, for the moment Takemichi would finally open up his heart to him?

Chifuyu just wants to be the place Takemichi can lean on - the one who can hold his heart when it trembles.

It takes Takemichi a while to stop crying. When he finally does, he slowly lets go of Chifuyu. He's been sitting on top of him the whole time, clutching him so tightly that Chifuyu's entire body feels numb now. Takemichi's face is a mess of tears and snot, his nose still sniffling as he looks at Chifuyu with that small, pitiful expression.

"All right, enough crying. Your face is all puffy now," Chifuyu says gently, brushing away the last few tears sliding down Takemichi's cheeks.

Takemichi sniffs and tries to steady his breathing. "Sorry, Chifuyu... it's so late, and I'm bothering you again."

"Hey, no more apologies," Chifuyu replies at once. "There's nothing to be sorry for. Everyone breaks down sometimes, everyone gets tired. Wanting someone by your side - that's not wrong. Honestly, I'm happy that the person you wanted with you tonight is me. So I'm warning you now, no more saying sorry to me."

Takemichi presses his lips together. Those words - so warm and gentle - melt something heavy inside him. The weight that's been sitting on his chest for so long suddenly lifts, like a boulder finally rolling off his shoulders.

"Let's get up," Chifuyu says softly. "Then we'll go for a walk. You said you wanted to, remember?"

Takemichi nods, fumbling a little as he tries to sit up. He stands, waiting for Chifuyu to shake off the pins and needles in his legs before reaching out a hand to help him up. Chifuyu wobbles a bit before finding his balance again.

Seeing that, Takemichi's shoulders droop, a look of guilt flickering across his face. His hands fidget anxiously, fingers twisting together. Chifuyu catches the gesture right away, reaches out, and takes Takemichi's hand - threading their fingers firmly together.

"Come on, Takemichi," he says with a small smile. "Let's go somewhere brighter."

The late-winter air is still cold. Chifuyu slips off his jacket and drapes it over Takemichi's shoulders - because, once again, his clueless partner has gone out without thinking to wear one.

Takemichi lets out a silent sigh of relief. The long sleeves of the hospital outfit cover the self-inflicted wounds on his arms. At least Chifuyu won't see them tonight - otherwise he'd be facing a storm of anger right here on the street. It's rare for his partner to be this gentle with him; he can't ruin that, can't make him worry more than he already does.

Hand in hand, they walk slowly down the street. Before long, they've wandered far from the hospital. Here, the city feels more alive - the lights brighter, the air filled with motion. Late-night food stalls and cafés still glow along the sidewalks, the hum of cars cutting through the noise. Somewhere nearby, music spills from a bar - colored lights flashing, people dancing and laughing, drowning their worries in alcohol.

They pass groups of office workers heading home after drinking, and others dressed to the nines, reveling in the neon rhythm of Tokyo nights. So many kinds of people, so many colors, so much noise.

Tokyo - always chaotic, always loud.

Sometimes, Takemichi feels suffocated by it all. The city makes him want to disappear for a while, to find somewhere quiet enough to calm the storm inside. But right now, the warmth from Chifuyu's steady grip seeps into him, grounding him. Bit by bit, he starts to breathe easier. The ache in his chest loosens, the heaviness fades.

It's okay. It's over now.

"Chifuyu..." Takemichi calls softly.

Chifuyu stops and turns to face him, that same gentle smile on his lips, his gaze as warm as before.

Takemichi bites his lower lip. Something tender stirs in his heart, sweet and fragile. His mouth curves up into a faint smile. The light returns to his eyes - no longer shadowed by despair or pain, only calm and warmth.

"Chifuyu," he says quietly, "I feel better now. Thanks."

Chifuyu lets out a quiet sigh of relief, like a weight has finally lifted from his chest. A bright smile spreads across his face as he looks at Takemichi. Seeing that smile return to Takemichi's face, Chifuyu's fingers tighten around his hand, pulling him a little closer.

He gazes at Takemichi for a moment - then, almost without thinking, unable to hold back the flutter of emotion in his chest, he leans in. Their foreheads touch softly, and Chifuyu lets the tip of his nose brush gently against Takemichi's.

Takemichi blinks, startled by the sudden intimacy. They've always been close, but this - this is the first time Chifuyu has done something like that. Yet, instead of embarrassment or discomfort, warmth blooms inside him. It feels tender. Affectionate. Adorably out of character for the usually grumpy partner who spends his days scolding him.

Takemichi lets out a small laugh, and Chifuyu, hearing it, laughs too. For a while, they stay like that - foreheads pressed together, breathing in sync, their hearts slowly settling into a calm rhythm.

"Takemichi," Chifuyu murmurs softly, "you don't have to be afraid anymore. You did great. You fought so hard - for everyone. The past, the future... they're behind us now. Let's move forward together, toward the brighter tomorrow you've been fighting for."

He doesn't need Takemichi to say it out loud - Chifuyu already understands.

"But I... I don't know if the future really gets better," Takemichi whispers, his voice trembling. "I don't know what Kisaki's going to do next. Or Izana. Chifuyu, I don't want to be scared anymore, but I am. I'm terrified that when I go back, something awful will happen again. And I can't let go of the past either - it keeps haunting me. I'm scared, Chifuyu... I'm so scared."

It's the first time Takemichi has ever spoken his heart so honestly to him. Chifuyu feels both relief and a deep ache for the boy he loves - the one who's carried these burdens alone for so long.

He takes Takemichi's other hand, holding both tightly, facing him with earnest eyes and a gentle smile.

"Takemichi, I don't know how painful your pasts or futures were. But for me... even if I had to die in one of those timelines, I'd still think my life was meaningful - happy - because I got to be by your side. I don't care what happens in the future. All I care about is whether you're happy right now. Because my happiness depends on you. If you're happy, then I'm happy. But if you're like this... I'd rather stay in that future where I'm already dead."

If the person he loves has to suffer, just so he can live in some "happy future," then that's a future Chifuyu could never accept.

Takemichi's eyes widen in panic.

"Chifuyu, don't say that! Once I'm sure everything's okay, I'll go back to normal, I promise. You idiot, how could you say something like that? Everyone's happiness matters - that's what makes me happy. It's not supposed to depend on me!"

"You're the idiot, Takemichi." Chifuyu chuckles softly, his tone turning tender again, his voice as gentle as a drifting cloud.

"Why worry so much? Why chase after the past or the future when we're right here - in the present? And right now, I'm happy. You know why? Because every day, I get to see your smile."

Takemichi's eyes widen once more, and emotion swells up inside him all over again. The tears he's been holding back finally spill over, blurring his vision. But this time, they're not from pain or fear.

This time, they're warm.

He feels a longing - not just for others' happiness, but for his own. He wants to live. To laugh with everyone again. To find joy not only in seeing others smile, but in being able to smile himself.

For everyone to be happy.

That's always been his wish.

But now - now Takemichi finally realizes - he wants to be part of that happiness too.

And in this moment, he yearns for it more than ever.

---

*In Vietnamese, the word "người" here is how Chifuyu refers to Takemichi in his inner monologue. In modern Vietnamese, this form of address isn't commonly used in direct speech - it feels a bit like saying "sir" or "madam" in English: formal, respectful, and slightly distant.

However, "người" carries a much deeper emotional meaning. It's not limited to romantic relationships; it can be used for anyone who is deeply precious, respected, or even sacred.

So when Chifuyu calls Takemichi "người" in his thoughts, it shows how truly precious he is to him - the one he wants to cherish, protect, and love with all his heart.

**Author's Note:

Writing this chapter really drained me (let me complain a bit - ugh, so many ideas but I can't get the words right. When will the day come when my writing finally matches what's in my head 😭).

The "nose-to-nose" action from Chifuyu can actually count as a kiss - it's an Eskimo kiss. It's a tender, affectionate gesture often shared between couples, pure and adorable, not sexual at all. I think it suits these two cuties perfectly.

One of the meanings behind a kiss is to say "I love you, and I'm happy." But in Chifuyu's case, it's a little more than that - he's showing his love and trying to comfort Takemichi, to help him forget his pain.

As for Takemichi's thoughts - you can look back to Chapter 10, where he reflects on the bond between Chifuyu and Baji. He feels that Chifuyu's future wouldn't be complete without Baji, but he never wonders what his own future with Baji would look like.

Then, in Chapter 23, Takemichi thinks about the trio - Chifuyu, Baji, and Kazutora:

"I wonder what the future of these three would be like? Surely a strong, close, yet complicated bond."

At that point, Takemichi's bond with them is already quite close, but he still thinks of them as a trio, leaving himself out of it.

Takemichi doesn't often think about his own future - most of his thoughts are for others. Like how he hopes Kokonoi and Inupee will stay together, or how he imagines Izana's life would be like living with Mikey and Emma.

These are Takemichi's unconscious thought patterns - things he only realizes later on. That's why even though he says he'll fulfill his promise to marry Hinata, he never actually imagines how they'd get married or what their life together would look like.

If you truly long for something, you can't help but imagine it, right? Like when you have a crush - you start daydreaming about what it'd be like to date them, or even skip straight to getting married already 😆. But Takemichi? He doesn't give himself that kind of dream at all.

His current wishes aren't that different from before - in the end, he still wants to be the hero who saves everyone. But now, he's started to value his own life more - you can see it in his fear of death. (Looking back, most of his actions have been quite extreme - he tends to take on all the pain himself.) Now, he's slowly beginning to want love for himself too, not just to give it to others.

But well... I'm still going to make my boy suffer a bit more - not stopping anytime soon, hehe. Can't wait to write the part where he reaches true despair! (Don't scold me, okay? Let me enjoy a little angst 😝)

Anyway, that's it for now, my dear readers. I'm vanishing again after dropping this chapter.

Note: This is the author's comment, not mine lol. Thirty months later and I'm still updating regularly, love you guys 💕

Release pics cp Chifuyu x Takemichi for luv, tbh too much beautiful pics that I can't just pick one for cover lol. Pics from Pinterest: