Beak☆Atamin

Even someone like me who has only been alive for a little over ten years understands that regrets come with anything, and perhaps this feeling is close to resignation.

Somehow, when I think about it over and over again, those dark feelings take over everything and I can't get rid of them. I've tried a lot of things to get rid of them, but it's not that easy.

Really, the world never goes the way you want it to. There's also the other person's feelings to consider. And that's the most important thing. When I think about it like that, it sounds like I have motivation, which is strange. Well, I don't think I have the ability to make people happy, or to put it more simply, to make them feel that way. Yeah, I have absolutely no talent for that sort of thing. If you start thinking like that, you'll lose sight of the meaning of life, so I think it's best to stop halfway through.

"Huh," well, it depends on the person and not the person, and it's not possible for the character to suddenly change.

However, I think that worrying a little bit has made me a little more mature than the other kids in my class. It might be strange for me to say "a little," but that's what I think anyway.

Hehe, what exactly does it mean to be an adult? On the other hand, I don't seem to fit in with the other students in my class, especially the boys, and they tend to ostracize me a bit. It's not quite at the level of bullying, though.

Because fourth grade boys are still kids, even though we're the same age. Innocent sounds kind of cute, but is it more like immaturity or bratiness? It makes me think of words adults use. And because I can sense how I feel, others can see that, so I can't make many friends. It's a shame. And it's also a matter of appearance. I guess to them I look really young, inferior to them, or rather, I'm treated like a kid and given a position where I'm half-ignored, but it seems that my ability to observe others carefully and calmly is perceived as suspicious by boys who are more like " Yeeee. " Or rather, they can tell. Like I can't let my guard down? Probably.

But I also envy their innocence. I don't have that anymore. I lost it a long time ago. But there's nothing I can do about it now.

happy to just be the one watching over everyone from nearby.

I can't be in the circle, but I want to be able to watch from nearby. And it's enough if someone notices my existence every once in a while. I can't expect too much.

I don't deserve to be a part of it. And this is just the result. I understand that, but of course it's not something I wanted.

But there was still hope. I couldn't do it, but I think Pee-chan could. I believed that Pee-chan could change this reality. For some reason, I'm using the past tense, but I haven't given up yet.

I'm surprisingly persistent. I'm not sure if that's a strength or a weakness, but I can say this for sure.

Pee-chan is someone I look up to and is irreplaceable; she's the first person I can call a friend.

"Beautiful, how beautiful," I thought, gazing at Pee-chan in awe.

I could watch Pee-chan for hours. Games and manga are nice, but for me, chatting with Pee-chan is the most important part of my day.

But because Pee-chan is a girl, she can't really say anything, and can only say "Pee-chan!" She also expresses things like "I'm hungry~I want to play more" with just "Pee-chan." It's funny, isn't it? But I can still understand exactly what Pee-chan is thinking, so it's never been a problem for me.

I think of Pee-chan as my little sister, but I get the feeling that she thinks of me as her younger brother. Because I'm more reliable than her. My brother says that the reason she often hovers above me is because she thinks she's superior, and that it somehow makes it seem like Pee-chan is protecting me. I don't really agree with that opinion.

That's right, Pee-chan's most distinctive feature is that his entire body is covered with beautiful, shiny yellow feathers.

When sunlight hits Pee-chan by the window, she starts to shine like a marigold flower.

It's so bright and sparkling that I can't help but squint my eyes. I love looking at it. I want to show it to other people too. Because even if something bad happens, when I see Pee-chan like that, I'm sure it will all blow away and I'll feel so happy.

Also, Pee-chan can fly at incredible speeds. "Amazing!" He flies around the room at super speed.

Even his older brother can't keep up with Pee-chan at all. Even his father says it's a struggle to get Pee-chan back into the cage.

Pee-chan loves his freedom, so he only goes back to his cage when he wants to.

What's more, he only eats what he wants to eat, and anything he doesn't like he blows away with great force. He eats everything, even the sunflower seeds we give him as a snack. He seems to be very particular about taste.

Also, I'm sure Pee-chan is very honest about her feelings. That's why she never wavers. I guess she's confident in herself.

I don't think Pee-chan gets any of his dad's nagging. I'm really jealous.

That's because I'm always in a quandary about what I do. I worry too much about what other people think, and I end up not being able to take any action. It makes me feel depressed. And then I end up not being able to do anything anymore, and it just keeps repeating. It's a vicious cycle.

My father also looks at me with a troubled expression.

And it can't be helped because it's all my fault. I know that very well.

I sometimes find myself wondering how I can become as honest and express my feelings as Pee-chan, and I find myself hating this kind of personality.

I want to have a normal conversation with my classmates, but I can't seem to start a conversation. I overthink things and can't find the right words, and I get so nervous and anxious that my attitude becomes even more awkward, and in the end, my whole body freezes up.

The other person seems to get annoyed with my attitude, and the atmosphere becomes awkward. Hell.

It's understandable that the others can't wait that long and go to other kids who have a good conversation.

Why is something that everyone else can do so easily so hard for me? What should I do? My report card always says I lack cooperation...I wonder if it's a cooperation problem? Is there a connection? That's how it seems to the teacher, right?

In that sense, I guess my current situation is that I don't really understand the meaning of cooperation.

- chan is a little strong-willed, but she's actually very kind. And she's a girl. Why a girl? Most Lutino parakeets, which are yellow all over, are girls.

The doctor at the animal hospital near the station who helped Pee-chan when he was weak told me that it had something to do with chromosomal genetics.

Apparently, having a skin-colored beak is also a sign that it's a girl.

What's the difference between boys and girls? In my class, the girls are bigger and more imposing, and I can't find any boys who can win arguments with them. Maybe girls are just better-built. I'm short and a little chubby, so I don't think I could beat a girl no matter what. Well, I don't fight in the first place, but there's never any opportunity.

Besides, when we're together I rarely think about Pee-chan's gender.

The day when Pee-chan and I first met is still vividly vivid in my mind. It was a day with a lot of snow, which is unusual for January.

"Hey, something's shining in the snow," my older brother asked, as he spotted lemon-colored Pee-chan almost buried in the white snow piled up in front of the house.

"It's a parakeet! A yellow parakeet!"

It's really scary to think what would have happened if we had been even a little bit slower in noticing. If Pee-chan's body had been buried in the pure white snow, I don't think we would have noticed and there would have been nothing we could have done.

I'm so grateful to my big brother. I was lying down, but Pee-chan was shining yellow against the white snow, so beautiful like a topaz that I couldn't help but squint my eyes. But Pee-chan couldn't care less about that.

Oh, topaz is the gemstone in my mom's favorite necklace. It was a gift from my dad, and I remember my mom treasured it very much.

I still wonder why Pee-chan was there.

Apparently Pee-chan comes from Australia, where it's warm all year round, so he's weak to the cold, which is probably why he collapsed. When his brother picked him up, Pee-chan was completely limp and unable to move, and seemed unconscious.

But there was still a slight warmth left.

decided to rush Pee-chan to the animal hospital in front of the station . I wanted to go with them because I was worried, but the snow made it impossible to get the car out and the roads were slippery and dangerous, so my dad told me to wait at home. There was no way around it with so much snow. If I went along and got in the way, Pee-chan might get into trouble, so I realized that the priority right now was to get Pee-chan to the hospital as quickly as possible.

However, I feel like my dad worries about me a little too much. It's not that he spoils me or anything, but he's so concerned about my health that he seems to limit what I think I can do from the start. I understand that he's worried about me, but sometimes I feel like he's a little restrictive.

Since I was born, my heart has been a little weaker than most people's.

I was so young that I don't remember much, but apparently he was in the hospital for about a year and a half after he was born. He's still not fully recovered, and they're still monitoring his heart, so they don't know when he'll stop beating again, so even after he started elementary school he's been banned from running in physical education classes or in foot races at school sports days.

Apparently, he'll have surgery when he gets a little older and his body gets bigger. Just hearing about surgery scares me. But Pee-chan is much smaller than me, so it's going to be hundreds of times harder.

Even I was scared, so I'm sure Pee-chan was even more anxious.

I was so worried about whether he was okay that my stomach even started to hurt.

"Please, please, I hope Kotori gets better," I prayed as hard as I could for Pee-chan, left alone at home.

"Please help Pee-chan!" I begged my mother in my heart over and over again.

"Thank goodness!" I said, tears almost spilling out of my eyes. After a couple of hours, Pee-chan came back wrapped in a towel.

"They can't find anything wrong with him. He's just weakened by the cold, so if we keep him warm for a while he'll be fine! Apparently we need to raise the temperature in the room to around 28 degrees," my dad told me what the doctor had said.

"I'm so glad!" I thought to myself, but I was still worried, so my brother and I decided to take turns watching over Pee-chan.

"It'll be fine! You'll feel better soon," my brother encouraged me.

After that, Pee-chan tried his best. Since he couldn't stand up, we used a small spoon to put millet and foxtail millet softened in hot water into his beak. At first, Pee-chan couldn't swallow it, but little by little he was able to eat.

Then, on the morning of the fourth day, he finally managed to stand up and eat by himself. After that, he stretched his legs alternately to check his own body movements, and then he began to spread his wings on his back.

"Amazing!" Each feather overlaps, creating a beautiful gradation from yellow to white. Pee-chan carefully picks at them with his beak, smoothing them out. He does this over and over again, as if he is polishing his body.

At that moment, my brother and I cried out "Whoa!" and leaned back, almost falling over. Pee-chan spread his wings wide and crossed in front of us with incredible speed, then jumped onto the curtain rail. Unable to hide our shock at the sudden event, we just stood there, stunned, looking at each other.

As if his previous weak appearance was a lie, Pee-chan flew around the room.

"I see, maybe he's checking out the room," my brother said. But watching him, I couldn't help but feel happy, thinking how good it must feel to fly at such a speed. My brother and I chased after Pee-chan as he flew around the room.

But even his brother couldn't catch up with Pee-chan, who was flying freely. Pee-chan increased his speed even more to keep up with us as we chased him frantically. He was running around so furiously that it felt like we were playing tag.

"Shut up! Be quiet!" We were so desperate that we lost sight of our surroundings when our father's angry voice hit us. It was so loud that even our father couldn't stand it. We looked at each other and shrugged. My brother put his right index finger to his lips and frowned. I nodded and looked at Pee-chan, who seemed startled by the loud voice and was leaning back in his chair, tilting his head slightly to the left and staring at me.

Thinking to myself, "Maybe this child can understand human language," I held out my right hand to Pee-chan.

Pee-chan lightly flapped his wings and jumped into the palm of my outstretched hand.

I brought Pee-chan up to my face and said, "Nice to meet you! I'm Aoba."

Then he said just one word, "Pee-chan," and jumped onto my right shoulder.

"So your name is Pee-chan. I'm so glad you're feeling better," I said to myself.

"Ouch!" I couldn't help but scream in my mind. Pee-chan was poking my right earlobe with his beak, and I tried to brush him away with my hand.

"It shouldn't hurt that much. Aoba-kun has big reactions," Pee-chan said, quickly jumping onto his brother's shoulder and pretending not to notice. However, he didn't bite his brother's earlobe. "Eh, did you just talk normally?"

"Yep, even parakeets can judge people. Maybe Aoba is inferior to Pee-chan," he said, and I started to dislike Pee-chan a little. Of course, I also dislike my brother a little for saying something like that.

But all that doesn't matter now. It's because I can see Pee-chan in front of me now, feeling so much better. Pee-chan has done so well with such a small body. It's truly amazing.

If it were me, I would probably have given up halfway through. Seeing Pee-chan's hard work gave me a little motivation. I don't know what I can use it for specifically, but...wait a minute, the problem is that Pee-chan spoke fluently.

Apparently parakeets can learn and speak several words, but Pee-chan only says "Pee-chan." To be precise, he can't speak, and maybe he doesn't need to.

I watched a YouTube video of a talking parakeet, but no matter how much Pee-chan's older brother tried to teach him, he wouldn't talk. Even when his dad and older brother looked at him and spoke to him seriously, he just tilted his head slightly with a puzzled look on his face and said "Pee-chan!" without saying anything else. So they named him Pee-chan, but I wonder how Pee-chan feels about such a simple name?

My brother was also confused and wondered, "Why does he only talk to Pee-chan?" so he went with me to the vet to ask for advice.

My teacher told me that only boys talk, while girls don't by nature. Boys are designed to talk in order to court women, but girls don't need to, so their function has degenerated and they no longer speak.

I don't really understand what courtship is, but apparently it's when a boy proposes to a girl.

My dad taught me that a marriage proposal is when you ask someone to marry you. Apparently, when I grow up and get married to the person I love, I propose. That sounds kind of gross. I've never fallen in love with a girl, so I don't really understand the feeling of love. The only girls I like are my mom and Pee-chan.

But it's strange, isn't it? It seems like Pee-chan and the other parakeets have their roles decided before they're even born.

What are the roles of boys and girls? They talk about gender equality on TV, but in my fourth-grade classroom, girls are more advanced and powerful in everything, whether it's studying, sports, or speaking up. It's actually quite scary.

In my house, Pee-chan is the top priority, too. She's the only girl. Wait, is that because she's a girl, I care about her? Is it just a natural rule in our family that girls are more important than boys? But it's supposed to be equal. Hmm, that's weird.

Pee-chan is small and cute, and probably still younger than me, so we have to protect him. He can't create an environment for himself.

We all take care to make sure Pee-chan is comfortable, from the room temperature to the type and amount of food he eats. It just happens naturally.

At first, my dad was excited about teaching me the names of companies like "Toyota" and uploading them to YouTube to get commercial opportunities, but now he seems to have given up and hasn't mentioned it at all.

I noticed that Pee-chan uses the word "Pee-chan" in different tones. "Pee-chan" means "I'm hungry" and "Pee-chan" means "Let's play together," but even though they're both words, there's a different nuance to them.

That's right, when Pee-chan gets angry because he doesn't get his way, he's scary. He'll glare at you with his eyes wide open, and then immediately bite you with great force.

It hurts so much that even my brother screams.

But she doesn't bite me that hard. She pretends it hurts in front of her big brother, but it's not that bad. Pee-chan is watching her partner carefully.

And this is the most important thing, or rather a secret between me and Pee-chan... Pee-chan can speak human language normally. In fact, Pee-chan chats in front of me. Isn't that amazing? At first, I couldn't believe it either and was really shocked. It's like talking to a normal human. But since I don't speak, I think I'm sending some kind of signal that resonates in Pee-chan's head... According to Pee-chan, there are sometimes people who can talk to animals. Why that is the case with me is a mystery.

Pee-chan says that for a certain ability to stand out, something else needs to be missing in its place, and in that sense, I feel like that's probably true, since I'm still at a loss for words.

Since then, I've been unable to express my feelings in words, so perhaps talking to Pee-chan gave me the strength to fill that void.

I haven't tried it yet, but I wonder if it's possible to talk to other animals. Maybe it's only possible with Pee-chan. I wonder if being able to talk to dogs and cats would change anything? I can't even imagine.

But I'm really glad I was able to talk to Pee-chan. I can talk to her about anything without hesitation. And that's because Pee-chan patiently listens to what I have to say until the very end.

That's why, even if Pee-chan gives me some harsh opinions that hurt my ears, I'm able to listen to him without hesitation.

About three months after Pee-chan's health had recovered, an irreversible incident occurred. Accidents happen suddenly and without warning, and reality is not so kind as to give those on the receiving end time to prepare.

That morning, my brother had asked me to bring in the laundry when he got home.

My older brother usually does most of the cleaning and cooking at home. My dad is not very good at those things.

My brother says that it's at a level where it would be better if he didn't do it at all. So even though it's hard, he laughs and says that it's quicker if he does it himself because it doesn't require the effort of redoing it. But, he's going to middle school in April and club activities are starting, so he'll be busier than ever and won't have much time to spend at home, so he asked me to help him out to make up for that.

I want to live up to my big brother's expectations, so I'm going to help out as much as I can. It feels like my turn has finally come!

I also have a little sister called Pee-chan, so I won't be the lowest forever. I want to graduate from being a burden to the two of them soon.

Oh, and besides his job, Dad also does God activities. "God activities" is a name my brother came up with. Of course, my brother doesn't say things like that in front of Dad. Apparently, even between parents and children, a minimum level of manners is necessary. And, with Dad's busy schedules every day, he's never home much, so I think my brother doesn't have any expectations of him, or rather has given up on the reality.

"What on earth is God?" I think both my brother and I are wondering this, but it's something we could never say in front of our father.

And I imagine that Dad doesn't really like to be at home much.

So, when there are high expectations of you, it really motivates you. I was so excited that I started humming an impromptu song I'd written in my head, and I hurried home from school. With the same momentum, I tried to bring in the laundry that was hanging out to dry on the balcony. As usual, Pee-chan jumped on my shoulders, making it seem like he was joining in too. Pee-chan wants to do everything with me. But it looked like he was just playing in the laundry that I'd brought in...

"Humans are really inefficient when it comes to laundry.

If they were covered in feathers like us, they wouldn't have to go through all this trouble."

"Hehe, but I don't hate doing laundry.

It's easy to feel a sense of fulfillment because you can see the beauty in your skin."

"That may be true. And I understand that humans' bodies aren't as beautifully made as ours, so they need to dress up in clothes."

"I have a bit of a belly and my brother says I look like the kid in the diaper commercial, so I'm not confident about being naked."

"I think Aoba is cute just the way she is. Plus, when the time comes, she'll grow taller and her belly will flatten in no time."

"Is that so? But I'd rather have wings like Pee-chan. I wonder what it would feel like to fly freely through the sky..." I thought, imagining Pee-chan and I holding hands and flapping our wings on our backs as we headed towards the mountain range that stood out against the green of Tokkoku Pass, visible from the balcony.

When I had brought in most of the laundry and was about to put away the last few pieces, Pee-chan was perched on the balcony railing, tilting his head as usual and looking my way. He picked up the last piece of laundry and

"Pee-chan, let's come into the house," I called out, holding out my free left hand toward Pee-chan.

That was when it happened! "What?" I thought, and in an instant my mind went blank! I couldn't comprehend what was happening before my eyes. My thoughts couldn't keep up with the unbelievable scene. "What does this mean?" I couldn't stop countless question marks from popping up in my head.

It suddenly appeared without any warning!

I forget to blink as I search for its true identity!

"What on earth is this?" I asked, staring at the black mass in the sky! With the speed of an arrow, it swooped down straight towards Pee-chan. I was unable to react to the incredible force. Without caring about me, stunned like an idiot, it grabbed Pee-chan in its mouth and in the blink of an eye flew over the apartment building in front of my house and across to the other side.

"Aoba!" Pee-chan's voice rang in my head.

"It's a crow! It's targeting Pee-chan!" I shouted, coming back to my senses in an instant.

"Why didn't I notice? Why? What did I... what did I do..." I panicked and ran barefoot out of the house, chasing the crow as fast as I could to the end of the national highway where it was heading.

"Haa haa haa haa..." I was out of breath and felt a slight pain in my heart, but I couldn't worry about that.

Even if you shout "Pee-chan!", the crow quickly disappears from your sight, and no matter how hard you strain your eyes, you cannot see it.

"What should I do? Where has Pee-chan been taken?" I asked my mother in my mind, but I got no answer.

All I could do was follow the crow as it left, frustrated with myself for not being able to do anything and wondering, "What's going to happen to Pee-chan?"

It was my carelessness that caused this to happen... it's all my fault. When I think about Pee-chan, my heart feels like it's going to burst. A sad pain creeps up from inside my body, making me dizzy.

no matter what . Don't give up. Continuing to search without giving up is the only thing I can do right now. I thought to myself, getting angry at myself.

Saying that I never thought the crows would attack me there is just an excuse. It is an undeniable fact that I was unable to protect Pee-chan from the crows. At the time, I was unable to react and handed Pee-chan over to him. Pee-chan is dozens of times smaller than me, yet I was unable to save him. That is the undeniable result.

I'm always filled with regret, thinking afterward that I should have done this or that, but when it really matters I can't do anything. I'm really insignificant and powerless. I'm a useless existence that's always been protected. Even back then. I couldn't do anything and just panicked. It's no good! No matter how many years pass, I haven't changed.

"Don't give up! Don't give up!"

"I have to find Pee-chan quickly," was the only thing I told myself as I hurried down the slope from the national highway to Hatsukawa.

"Siamese cat! Have you seen a crow with a yellow parakeet in its mouth?" I called out to the Siamese cat sleeping on the railing of Jingu Shinbashi Bridge, still breathing heavily. The Siamese cat just wags its tail from side to side and doesn't even try to open its eyes.

"Siamese cat, Siamese cat, I'm in a hurry. If you know where the crows are going, please tell me."

"Faaaah, what a surprise. You can communicate with me."

"Then when you ask someone for something, be sure to state your name clearly. Try again."

"Um, well, I'm Aoba. My parakeet, Pee-chan, was kidnapped by a big crow, so I'm looking for a place to go! I'm in a hurry! I want to get there as soon as possible!"

"Well, don't worry. I'm Mal. I have the appearance of an aristocrat, and I think it can't be helped that a human arbitrarily gave me a name lacking any sense. It's just a name, but sometimes a name can protect your destiny. The opposite can also happen."

"Hmm, Aoba... Are you the child from the house halfway up the slope in Kunomiya?"

"I see... so it's the empty, hollow space inside you that makes you feel that way. Wow, that's interesting," said the Siamese cat, opening only its deep, blue right eye.

"Blank? H-more importantly, have you seen any crows?"

"Oh, the one with what looks like a yellow parakeet in its mouth."

" Yes! Which way did the crow go?"

"It went in the direction of the Yoritomo Line. Well, it should be fine. That parakeet won't be eaten so easily."

"What, are they going to eat me? That's bad! I have to hurry."

"Hahaha, listen! Everything has an imperfect appearance. You're still a child, so you might not understand, but you have to see the true nature of things. Look carefully.

Then you might see the real you."

"Essence..."

"Hehehe, maybe it's too early for you. While I'm at it, I think the crow is probably regretting his wrong choice right now. It's a face the crow has never seen before, so it probably doesn't understand the circumstances. Being young can be ignorant. But even so, it can't be denied that recently the number of invasive species and newcomers to this area has been increasing, and the law and order have been getting worse. Well, maybe it's the same as the human world. Atami has always been a place with a lot of drifters."

"I moved here from Tohoku too! This is my dad's hometown."

"I know. This area with a radius of 1km is my territory."

"Well, you can just go and find it. You'll need it, and it's all still a work in progress. Plus, there's a certain curse on you that you'll have to break yourself."

"What, a curse?"

"Cross this bridge, turn right, and keep going up the hill in Minakuchi-cho towards the hospital with a view of the ocean."

"However, you need to be careful because there is a white snake keeping a watchful eye behind the hospital. There are rules specific to that place. Anyway, you can think about it after you get there. Keep your eyes peeled and look carefully, so you can discern the truth!"

"Thank you Siamese cat. It's difficult for me to understand, but I'll hurry and chase after Pee-chan."

"Ah, but you'd better put on your shoes first."

Even though the hospital overlooks the ocean and can be seen from the balcony of my house, it took me 40 minutes to walk there. Partly because I don't exercise at all, my heart started beating so fast I had to take a break . I was getting anxious, but my body wouldn't listen to me. Even though I say it myself, I'm really exhausted.

This reality makes me feel frustrated and depressed, but when I think about Pee-chan, I feel a kind of motivation that I don't usually have, and I'm surprised at myself for it. Anyway, I think that now I have no choice but to look forward and keep walking.

However, because Atami stretches in a straight line from the sea to the mountains, no matter where you look there is a steep slope. What is only a few minutes by car is surprisingly difficult to walk, and when you actually try it, you realize just how difficult it is.

Instead, if you look back, you can see the calm, shining blue sea stretching out so far that you can't even tell where it meets the sky. It feels like you can clearly see Hatsushima a little further away, and depending on the season, Izu Oshima. Tourists probably say this view is amazing.

But even the sparkling sea of pre-summer doesn't move me right now. "I'll just focus on finding Pee-chan and bringing her back," I tell myself, encouraging myself. I can do it if I try! I'm sure I can do it for Pee-chan's sake. Right now, I want to believe in myself.

I crossed the main entrance of the hospital and came out into the courtyard where many elderly people were strolling around in wheelchairs or accompanied by caregivers. Ah, my grandpa used to walk here a lot too. I remember my brother and I pushing his wheelchair.

He died about three weeks after entering the hospital. Come to think of it, my father said that this is the hospital you go to before you die. Does that mean all the elderly people here are going to die soon?

Hmm, I wonder how that feels?

Ever since that day, I've thought that it would be fine if I disappeared from this world. Because I have no right to live, or any value in existing. But I can't kill myself. I'm still scared.

Also, if my disappearance would solve the problem, then there would be meaning in dying, but if my death doesn't improve the situation in any way, then there would be no point in me dying. I don't think it's right to waste everyone's time on such pointless activities.

You could say that I am alive because my tiny life is not even worth dying for.

On the other hand, if I could find some kind of meaning in it, would that mean I'd be willing to give my life for it? I think I could, but I guess I won't know until the time comes.

But who is going to be the judge? Hmm, I guess I have to make that decision myself. I think the Siamese cat said something similar.

"Anyway, right now, the first priority is to find Pee-chan," I thought, trying to get back on track. Taking a deep breath to calm my excitement, I stepped into the woods behind the hospital.

If you look closely, you can see a faint path just wide enough for one person to pass through. I ask myself if this is what they call an animal trail, but I'm not sure. But even such a narrow path wouldn't exist if someone wasn't regularly branching off into it, so for some reason, even in a mountain like this where no one goes, someone must have walked deep into the forest.

Do they gather wild vegetables? Hunting is prohibited in Atami, after all... When there's an ocean nearby, the area tends to develop in a sea-oriented way.

Ah, recently the issue of solar panel installation in the mountainous areas of Atami and the illegal dumping of industrial waste were featured on TV. My brother was furious all morning saying, "These money-hungry, no-good adults are always doing careless things!" The industrial waste caused a mudslide that swallowed up hundreds of homes in Izuyama and washed them all the way out to sea. Apparently, many of the homes of my brother's classmates were also affected.

However, if I just walked aimlessly around this area, I wouldn't be able to find Pee-chan. What's more, if I took a wrong turn, I might not be able to find my way back.

The overgrown trees already obscured the view of the hospital, and I began to feel a little uneasy.

If you lift your head and look at the sky, you'll see that the sun is still overhead, so it shouldn't get dark as quickly as it does in winter...

Hmm, it seems like the scenery around here is starting to look the same.

"Hmm, where am I? I'm lost, right?" I was in such a frightened state that I didn't even feel like searching for the right words to say to myself. It was just too useless.

Even if you think, "Oh no, what should I do? I can't get back," it's impossible to ask someone for directions in the forest.

I've been hearing a lot of bird calls for a while now, but I haven't seen any. Maybe the animals that live in the city and the animals that live in the mountains have different habits. Even though they're all singing, I haven't seen anyone.

Even so, I feel like someone is watching me. And I'm not alone. I'd guess there are at least two people. I know I'm saying some pretty scary things, but somehow I feel like that's normal in the mountains. You never know what's out there.

Come to think of it, didn't the Siamese cat say that different places have different rules and that different places have different meanings? Oh, and there's also a curse! That's scary, what curse?

But if we dig too deep into this, it's likely to become a complicated story.

Oh, I remember Pee-chan saying that I only have half of my shadow. And maybe being able to talk to Pee-chan and the Siamese cat is connected to the curse. It's getting scarier.

Oh, I think the Siamese cat was saying something about the empty space inside me...but I didn't quite hear it.

Hmm, maybe it's all about what's inside me? Is that so? What does that mean?

And it feels like I've been going around in circles in the same place for a while now, or rather, that's the only thing I can think of, and if I carry on like this, I might not be able to leave the forest and it might turn into a terrible night. Hmm, this is troubling. Or maybe someone is setting me up to get lost? Another thing I dislike about myself is my tendency to always blame others for my own complete mistakes.

I decided to calm down a bit and rethink my strategy.

I can't say it out loud, "Is someone there? Is anyone there?" but I scream in my head!

By considering the direction the sun sets, I was able to guess the location of the hospital, even if it was northeast of here.

I think I learned firsthand that calm judgment and planning are important in everything I do. I always do things on impulse.

But more importantly, I can't go home until I bring Pee-chan back. The only way to find out is to ask someone where Mr. Crow lives.

I asked hundreds of times, "Is anyone there?" but there was no response. I could hear the birds but there was no response. Perhaps the fact that conversations don't work if neither of us is trying to hear the other.

I was starting to feel a bit tired and troubled, a pigeon (?) peered into my face from under the loquat tree in front of me and said, "You're surprisingly persistent."

"Oh, hello Hato-san, I'm Kusunoki Aoba.

Have you seen a crow around here with a yellow parakeet in its mouth?

"Wow, you really can have a conversation. But wait a minute, don't lump me in with those pigeons that fawn over humans in towns and on the seashore! We turtledoves have no intention of relying on humans."

"Oh, sorry. I see. You, erm, how should I put it, have a lot of confidence in yourself."

"Well, it's nothing special."

"So, um... do you know Mr. Crow?"

"I guess you could say I know him. Of course, we're not friends, but I do know where he is."

"Well, where is it? Can you tell me?"

"Well, you can't do that. That's the custom."

"Oh no, if this keeps up, Pee-chan will..."

"Besides, I can't fly, I can't run fast, and with only those abilities, if I were to get there, it would be around sunrise."

"...That bad? What on earth should I do..."

"That's right. I have a great idea! If we go back the way we came and reach the Yoritomo Line, and then go a little to the right in the direction of Shizenkyo, we will come to a shrine called Misogi Falls. It will be quite a steep slope down, but there is a White Snake deity there, so we should ask her to take a look. If all goes well, she will be able to negotiate with the crows."

"I understand, thank you," I said, thanking Yamabato-san and heading in the direction of the hospital.

"Hey, hey, it's not that way! Ouch!" It was going in the opposite direction of what I expected...

It took less than ten minutes to get out of the hospital courtyard with a view of the sea. But what on earth had I been doing for the past few hours? I couldn't stop myself from furrowing my brow.

But I won't get lost anymore. I'll head straight to Misogi Falls.

I walked through the hospital courtyard, quickly passed through the entrance and came out onto Yoritomo Line.

"I should turn right here," I thought, unable to contain my excitement, but I didn't notice an Alphard with a "W" license plate number approaching in front of me. There was a sharp curve in front of the hospital, and the Alphard didn't even notice me.

At times like these, time passes in slow motion. My eyes meet with the Alphard driver's, and I find his expression of shock, eyes wide as far as they can go, so funny that I almost laugh, but the car keeps coming straight at me without stopping. But there's no way my body can move quickly enough to avoid it.

Just as I thought, "No! We're going to hit it!", I saw a flock of dozens of birds flying towards us at high speed. The flock of birds seemed to be falling off the cliffs of the Yoritomo Line towards the town, enveloping the approaching Alphard and me.

"You're such a pain," Yamabato sighed in my ear.

That day, around 9pm, I went home with the police. Rather than going home, it seems I was taken into custody.

It was getting dark and the town was deserted, and from inside the patrol car all that could be seen were the streetlights and the lights of hotels, inns, and houses.

Before I knew it, I was in front of a bright red bougainvillea flower in full bloom. On the right side of the bridge, a lion statue was asserting itself with its mouth wide open, as if it could devour my doubts and all.

"This is the Lion Bridge over the Itokawa River. Oh, I'm in the middle of the forest..." I thought, and was confronted with the reality that I hadn't been able to save Pee-chan. The surroundings began to dance back and forth like shadow puppets, and I nearly lost my sense of balance, so I put both hands on the railing of the bridge and used all my strength to support my body as it threatened to fall.

Thinking, "Maybe crows become less active at night," I peered down at the river flowing below from the Itokawa promenade, wondering if there was any good way to help Pee-chan.

"Hmm, think! Think! Use your head," I asked myself, closing my eyes. The Itokawa River continued its steady, fierce flow as always, heading towards the sea, seemingly unconcerned about my worries. But I couldn't give up. Going home was not an option for me .

An old man who owned a fishmonger along the river came up to me and asked, "What is a kid doing at this time of night?"

"Ugh," I can't find the words to explain that Pee-chan has been taken from the balcony and that I will never go home until he is found.

"Hmm, what's wrong with you? Can't you talk?"

"That's a real problem, but wait a moment, I'll bring you some pencils and drawing paper," the fishmonger said with a fake smile as I simply nodded.

I tried my best to explain, but it seemed the fishmonger didn't really understand. He put me in a delivery van and took me to Atami Police Station. In the car, the fishmonger was talking about his elementary school-aged grandson, but I just nodded and pretended to listen. Or rather, I was so worried about Pee-chan that I couldn't take in what he was saying. Right now, I just want all my sadness and regret for not being able to find Pee-chan to spill out the open car window and slide down the hills of Atami. Being a stubborn person, I swear again and again, I won't give up. I'll get Pee-chan back.

When I got to the police station, I wrote down in order to the officer everything that had happened that day, and everything that had happened since I got home. I'd done this a few times at the fish shop, so I thought I was able to give a pretty detailed explanation. My dad usually gives up midway through because my stories are long and tedious, but the officer listened to me until the end. So we decided to file a missing person report. Apparently, parakeets, cats, and dogs are treated the same as lost property. The officer promised to let me know as soon as they found Pee-chan.

It seems that my father and brother were searching for me after I disappeared. A missing person report had been filed with the police, and everyone from my father and brother to my teachers at school and neighbors were searching for me.

I was searching for Pee-chan and was being treated as a lost child. The police were getting ready to start a full-scale search when I arrived, and the officers seemed excited.

"Thank goodness, thank goodness," was what many police officers said, but I couldn't react at all because I couldn't find Pee-chan.

My dad and brother seemed relieved when I got home too.

As soon as my brother saw me he started crying, so I started crying too. But when I thought about Pee-chan, I couldn't really cry, or rather, I didn't have the energy to cry, and to be honest, I felt more than just crying. Rather, I felt more frustrated and regretful.

Also, neither of them ask me about Pee-chan. I think they're being considerate to me. I understand their feelings, but I think they probably thought it would be better if they were blamed.

Because, even though I want to blame myself for not being able to protect Pee-chan, I still don't know how I want to do it. I feel like I'll feel a little better if they get mad at me.

When people say things like "I feel relieved," I end up rebelling and saying "That can't be!" It's my fault, so I want them to scold me.

It was the same then. When my mother died protecting me, no one blamed me.

"But I know."

Since then, Dad has been sighing more often, he has joined a religious group, and his older brother is in tears when he is alone.

"I'm in trouble..." What should I do?

I'm still confused. How can I resolve this? How can I apologize to my dad and brother so they can forgive me?

"I can't think of anything." I wish I had died instead of my mother. I can't do anything because I'm not held responsible. I regret that I'm the only one who survived. I was the only one who was saved at that time. "Why? Why?"

So... I curse myself for being saved, because that's all I can do.

Three years ago, a magnitude 6+ earthquake struck the Tohoku region, leaving houses and roads destroyed in my hometown, a scene that is still horrifying to think about.

It was so overwhelming that I can't even put it into words.

At the time, I was at home with my mom, and I hadn't even started elementary school yet. "Huh? Is something shaking?" we wondered, and we were both just staring blankly at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling, when suddenly the house started shaking. At first, it was a small tremor, so we didn't feel too alarmed. I don't think my mom could have even imagined that in an instant the furniture would start dancing and things inside the house would fly sideways.

"Ahhh, Mom!" I cried out, and the unimaginable, impossible thing that was unfolding before my eyes made me tremble with fear and I couldn't stop.

Mom picked me up and quickly hid under the living room table . I was completely panicked by this unexpected turn of events.

"Don't worry, Mommy's here for you!" My mom hugged me, who was scared, and covered my ears to protect me from the reality that was unfolding.

"Mom, Mom, Mom!" I kept calling my mother's name.

The strong shaking continued several times. Each time, the inside of the house moved wildly, as if we were inside a washing machine. The approaching fear relentlessly hit us with a strong pressure that we couldn't escape.

"Uh," my mother would let out a cry every time we bumped into something. Every time that happened, my heart would tighten and I would almost scream.

Even though it was only a moment, it felt like an incredibly long time to me. Everything was a complete mess, and we were powerless and there was nothing we could do, so we just prayed that the shaking would end quickly.

I don't know how much time had passed, but suddenly it was quiet and I opened my eyes in my mother's arms.

The loud noises and unbelievable vibrations that had hit my body from before had now calmed down, as if by magic.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked my mother in a panic.

"..." But it was no use. Mom didn't say a word back.

"Mom! Mom!"

Dust had gotten into my mouth and I could barely squeeze out words, but I kept talking to my mother.

I repeated it over and over again.

Let me hear your usual cheerful voice! This is no time to be sleeping!

"Hurry up and wake up!"

"Mom, answer me!"

Repeated over and over and over again.

But no matter how many times I ask, there's no response from my mother.

My mouth is filled with the bitter smell of blood, but I can't believe the reality in front of me, so I keep calling out my mother's name.

It didn't work.

My younger sister, who was supposed to be able to meet my mother during the earthquake, disappeared to protect me.

My mother had a baby sister who was only eight months old in her belly. I think my older brother said she was eight months old... As an older brother, I thought I had to be strong so my sister wouldn't dislike me, so I was a little nervous, but I was really looking forward to meeting my little sister. But then, my little sister, who was in my mother's belly, disappeared too.

From that moment on, the atmosphere in the house somehow became strange. Neither my father nor my brother seemed to bring up the topic of my mother. The atmosphere was one of refusing to touch her, as if nothing had happened, including the earthquake. It was like a thin thread being pulled at its tightest, and the tension was such that it felt like it might snap and fly apart at any moment.

"How can I go back to the way things were before?" I have been thinking about this ever since the earthquake, as I lost two people because of my own fault.

I honestly wish I had disappeared instead of my mother, because I can't take her place.

Every time I see their gloomy faces, I apologize in my heart.

I'm so sorry that I was the only one who survived back then. Because of me, something important to both of us was lost. Even if I say "I'm sorry," I can't bring it back to the way it was, but that's all I can do.

But after Pee-chan came to our house on that snowy day, it felt like everything changed.

That day, I thought that the pure white snow that had fallen might cover up all the sad events that had happened up until then, and all the pain that my father and brother were feeling.

So that day, I secretly asked my mother at the window.

"Hide everything! Hide our sorrows in pure white snow!"

"Mom, please!"

Then Pee-chan appeared. My wish came true to my mother.

That's because the glowing yellow Pee-chan looks just like her mother's precious jewel.

That's why we really need Pee-chan at home.

I'm not good at it and can't do it well, but Pee-chan can make those around him happy.

I couldn't do it. No matter how much I tried to act in place of their mother, the two of them just looked sadder. The harder I tried, the worse it seemed to go.

But Pee-chan brought smiles back to his dad and brother's faces.

"Pee-chan is really amazing!" I'm sure Pee-chan is a genius at making everyone happy.

In April, I entered the fifth grade. My older brother also went on to junior high school. Until now, we used to go to school together in the morning, but now we leave home separately. The public junior high school my brother attends is located past Atami Station, more than ten minutes up a steep hill, so it takes more than 30 minutes to walk from our house. So my older brother started leaving home earlier than before.

On days when there was morning practice for club activities, by the time I woke up my brother was nowhere to be found, but breakfast was always on the table.

When I think about it, I'm really impressed and think, "Big Brother is amazing!" and I always think, "Thank you."

As I eat breakfast alone, I always look at the empty birdcage and think of Pee-chan.

Pee-chan hasn't come home since then. I always leave the window slightly open in case he comes home and perches on the balcony as usual, tilting his head slightly and looking at me.

I think my dad and older brother have noticed it, but they haven't said anything. In fact, my older brother is quite concerned about the balcony, and I can see him sneaking glances at it without me noticing. I guess I just can't give up.

Every time I go out, I look for Pee-chan on the top of trees, telephone poles, and roofs of houses. I've gotten into the habit of always looking up, and I almost get hit by a car or fall over for no reason, which makes everyone laugh at me. But I don't mind.

Oh yeah, I also visit the police once every three days. At first I went every day, but my brother said that the police are busy so it would be better to go once every three days, so I had no choice but to do so.

I don't have a smartphone yet, so even if Pee-chan is found, the police won't be able to contact me right away. I panicked, so I spoke to the police, and they agreed that as soon as they find Pee-chan, they'll contact my brother's smartphone or call the elementary school.

My mom said she'll buy me a smartphone when I start elementary school, but I can't bring myself to ask my dad . It seems like almost everyone in my class has one, and I can send messages on LINE, so I think I'll be able to talk to everyone even though I'm not very good at speaking... I really want one, but I just can't bring myself to ask. There's no clear reason. It's just, really.

But I haven't given up on Pee-chan yet. Knowing Pee-chan, I'm sure he'll come back.

Because she's the only hope my mother has ever given me. It may seem like a miracle, but I've decided to believe in that miracle, Pee-chan.

The new semester has begun, and an unusual transfer student has arrived in our class.

In my elementary school, the faces of my classmates don't change much from first grade to sixth grade. Some grades have two classes, but most have only one, and the lower the grades, the fewer students there are in each class. My dad told my brother that this is because of the declining birthrate in Japan, especially in rural areas.

I also transferred schools in the second grade of elementary school, but our house was destroyed in the earthquake, so we had to move to Atami, where my father's parents live.

My dad has always proudly told me that Atami is a popular tourist destination in Japan, with steam from hot springs rising all over town, a beautiful sea, and mountains rich in nature. I vaguely remember coming to stay with my mom at my grandparents' house from a very young age. I think my mom, worried about my health, would come to take me to the hot springs. But I don't remember it very well, as it was before I started elementary school. My grandma taught me everything.

I won't tell my grandma, but the truth is, I don't really like hot springs because they're so hot. Grandma says that hot water is good for your body, but it just seems like a test of endurance.

Even when I transferred schools, I didn't feel too worried because my older brother was with me. I couldn't speak, so the older students often teased me, but my older brother was always there to help me.

My brother is very kind to me. I don't remember him ever getting angry in front of me.

My brother is quiet, or rather, he doesn't talk much and only says what is necessary.

The other day , my brother made me an omelet rice, but it wasn't very tasty. I think he used too much ketchup, and the flavor was so strong that I suddenly didn't want to eat it. It's not that I couldn't eat it, but...

At that moment, for some reason, I started crying. I knew I shouldn't cry, but I couldn't help it. It reminded me of the omelet rice my mother used to make for me.

I knew there was no point in saying that, but I couldn't control my feelings.

Since I was crying, my brother just went outside without saying a word. He didn't come home for a while after that. It's so childish that I'm embarrassed to say it now. Because until he came home, I was alone in the living room, crying with my face against the table. That was a huge waste of energy.

After a while, my brother came home and made a new omelet rice again. It somehow reminded me of the one my mother used to make, so he said, "This one will be delicious," and I silently nodded repeatedly. For some reason, we both had tears in our eyes, and I kept saying to myself, "It's delicious!" as I ate it, my tears and snot mixed together.

Grandma told me in secret later that at that time, my brother had come to visit with a serious look on his face. He had asked me to teach him how to make omurice. He had said that he wanted to make it just like his mother did.

"I'm sorry for always doing this." I always cause trouble for my brother with my selfishness. I always do that. I regret it after I've done it. I never grow up.

Sometimes I can't control my emotions. It's really pathetic.

My brother is able to put other people's feelings before his own. I want to be like him. I want to be able to have a kind heart at all times.

I don't think my brother was too keen on transferring schools this time either, because unlike me, he had lots of friends at his previous school.

Still, she didn't say anything, probably because she prioritized her father's feelings.

After my mother passed away, I saw my father looking depressed and didn't say anything about my feelings.

When your father started talking to your brother about transferring schools, your face froze for a moment before answering .

You immediately smiled and replied, "I'm fine with going in the direction Dad is thinking."

I'm sure my brother knew that my father wanted to reset everything and start over, and he could tell that from being by his side, so he swallowed his feelings and said nothing. My brother is incredibly kind and incredibly strong.

"I'm Torii Yuki. Nice to meet you all," the girl said, tilting her head slightly to the right and smiling slightly.

"Wow, she's so beautiful! I've never seen such a beautiful girl before," I thought as I stood tall in front of the classroom, unfazed by the stares of the whole class, "she doesn't seem nervous at all," and in fact I was transfixed by the girl who seemed so relaxed. Her mysteriously calm demeanor made her seem much older than everyone in the class.

She has a slender figure, a very small face, and long, thin limbs. Her model-like proportions set her apart from the childish figures of the other kids in her class, which may be why she looks all the more mature. She's also definitely taller than me. "I wonder where they sell them? I've never seen them at Aeon or anything like that," I thought, noting that the long yellow dress suited her figure perfectly. It was as if a lovely scent had suddenly bloomed in the air throughout the classroom.

The girl's waist-length hair danced in time with her body movements, causing the curled light brown ends to sparkle.

She has translucent white skin and strawberry-red lips with the corners of her mouth turned up to create a perfect gentle impression.

Just by seeing a girl enter the classroom, the noisy classroom instantly became silent.

"The seat at the very back was empty," the girl said before Nakajima-sensei finished.

"Teacher, I'll sit over there!" she said clearly, pointing directly at the seat next to me. Nakajima-sensei was surprised, and she gave a slight bow before walking towards my seat without any hesitation. "Huh???" the whole class fell silent, staring intently at this unexpected turn of events.

"Can you take my place?" I whispered to Kurebayashi-kun, who was sitting next to me, with a smile.

With that, Kurebayashi-kun picked up his desk and quickly started moving. Following him, Daisuke-kun, the class leader, quickly came behind him and carried Torii-san's desk.

"Oh, thank you," the transfer student said, giving Daisuke a slight smile. Daisuke's face was bright red and he was constantly scratching his head in embarrassment. "Something's strange."

It seems that the transfer student has quickly captivated the boys in her class, especially. I guess it's only natural that boys would be nice to a girl this pretty. They often talk about lookism on TV, but beautiful looks are certainly an advantage. Nakajima-sensei's face was blushing and his heart was beating fast as he looked at the transfer student's profile, and he even allowed her to move seats without saying anything, which is also the power of Torii-san's charm. I don't think she would listen if I said the same thing.

However, Honda, the female leader of the class, and her fellow girls are watching this whole exchange with slightly frightened expressions on their faces.

I hope nothing scary happens. I guess even if you're too pretty, people of the same sex might shy away from you. People's emotions aren't that simple, are they?

"Aonami-kun! I hope you'll be nice to me for a little while," Torii-san said, looking me straight in the face.

"Huh? Wait a minute..." I wondered, does Torii-san know my name? Have we met somewhere before? I racked my brain, but nothing came to mind.

Perhaps he understood my question, as Torii pointed to the cover of my notebook, which had my name written in large letters.

"I see, that's what it means," I thought to myself, quickly nodding several times.

"Yo, y, nice to meet you," I stutter, panicking inside. At times like this, I feel like I'll never be able to return the greeting in a cool way.

Torii smiled gently at me as I panicked and said, "Hehe."

I get incredibly nervous when meeting someone for the first time. How can I make better contact? Aside from not being able to speak properly, one of the things I don't like about myself is that I tend to be very defensive. But the more I try to respond properly, the worse it gets. I guess I end up overthinking things.

But I was genuinely impressed and thought , "Torii-san is amazing!" He wasn't intimidated at all, even in a new place.

The eyes of the whole class are glued to the unusual transfer student's every move, but he doesn't seem to mind at all. Even though I'm sitting next to him, I can sense all the different emotions and it makes me nervous. There are some looks that aren't very pleasant, but Torii-san doesn't seem to mind at all. I notice he's humming softly. He seems so relaxed.

"Oh, I know this scent. I feel like I've smelled it somewhere before," Torii says, and I sense a faintly nostalgic smell. Question marks fill my head, but I still can't remember clearly. Well, my memory is so bad that I can't remember most things.

I tried to take a deep breath slowly through my nose so that Torii wouldn't notice. If I wasn't careful, Torii would notice and think I was a pervert.

Hmm, Torii-san exudes a sweet and sour floral scent that is unique to girls, as well as a faint nostalgic scent.

"This... I can't remember, but where was it," I said, sniffling quietly, and Torii-san smiled and stared at me. "Did they notice?" I could hear my heart beating so loudly that it surprised even me. I hurriedly bowed my head, but I think it was obvious to those around me that my face was bright red, which looked unnatural.

"It's amazing! Torii-san is truly amazing."

Torii-san can do anything. He's fluent in English. He lived in Australia before coming to Atami, so apparently his pronunciation is better than the teacher's. Oh, Nakajima-sensei says it himself. Apparently he calls himself a native speaker.

When I asked her what kind of country Australia is, she answered, "I lived in Sydney. There was a port nearby, just like Atami. The whole country is an island surrounded by the sea." She said that because it's in the Southern Hemisphere, the climate is warm and there are mountains and deserts, so it has some similarities to Atami. You can also see whales and dolphins up close.

"That's amazing! That's great! I'd love to see a real whale. I've never seen a dolphin in the sea at Atami. Of course, there are no whales there either. You can see them at the aquarium in Numazu, but my dad is busy so he can't take me. The fact that there are wild dolphins swimming around in Australia means that the environment is suitable for them." Oh, and there are koalas in the forests outside the city. But you're not allowed to hold them, as it causes stress for the koalas.

Come to think of it, Pee-chan also hated being held by hand. Actually, I've never held him because he runs away . Maybe Pee-chan was feeling stressed too. That's why he was so angry. I didn't realize it.

"I'm sorry, Pee-chan," I say to myself, but whenever I think of Pee-chan, my heart tightens. I guess there's always a reason for everything.

Also, English is really important! My dad came to Atami and started working at a hotel, and he needs English because there are a lot of foreign guests. He's been studying at home, but he complains that he just can't remember. It seems like my older brother can speak it better.

I'm in my third year now and have started English classes once a week, so I'm trying my best. My dad also told me that it's good to study English seriously from a young age, but that as you get older it doesn't sink in easily and even if you do memorize it you forget it right away, so he said that he's struggling too, so I should start studying now so I don't regret it later.

My mom worked for a travel agency before she got married, so my dad told me she could converse in English easily.

By the way, my mother said that she is saving money now because she wants my brother to study abroad when he becomes a high school student. She wants her children to have a variety of experiences.

That's why I'm looking forward to English class. I want to be able to speak English like my mom and then go abroad.

I'd love to visit Australia, where Torii-san lived, someday, because Australia is also the country where Pee-chan was born.

Torii-san is not only good at studying, but also at sports. He easily jumped over ten steps of the vaulting horse. No one in his class has ever jumped that high.

I was really amazed and thought, "Wow, what a wonderful farm!" It was as if they had wings on their backs and were flying in the sky.

Isn't it scary that it's so high? Just thinking about standing on the starting line makes my legs tremble. Because it's taller than me.

I'd love to ask him, "How can I overcome my fear?" but I'd be too embarrassed. I'd hate for people to think, "But you're just a boy!" There are also cases where you don't feel scared in the first place. That's how little tension you get from Torii-san. It's like he overcomes it naturally.

Not only that, Torii is also faster than anyone else.

He can run 50 meters in eight seconds, which is faster than Kase-san, the fastest sixth-grader in the school.

How wonderful it would be if I could run like the wind like Torii-san. I wonder what he sees, feels, and thinks while running? I admire him. I truly wish I could run like that, even if just once in my life.

My physical education classes are limited so as not to put too much strain on my heart. I'm not allowed to run or play ball games, and although they're okay with light stretching and other exercises, there aren't many of those, so during gymnastics class I always end up reading a book in the library and watching the kids on the school grounds.

My dad tells me that when I grow up, I'll be able to run as much as I want. But the truth is, I want to run now. I want to run as freely as Pee-chan, and as fast as Torii-san, with unstoppable speed.

I want to run as fast as everyone else down the hill in front of the school, without stopping, all the way to the sea.

But the reality is not so sweet!

"Huff," I thought, thinking that it would be fine if it was just my problem, but if my heart stopped beating, it would cause trouble for my father. I have no choice but to endure it for now.

For now, all I can do is sigh and gaze out at the schoolyard. I wonder if one day the absent me sprinting across the schoolyard and the me always standing alone in the classroom will merge together and I'll become the person I dream of, the person I can at least like? I wonder when that will be.

So, after school I practice doing back flips by myself.

That's because I promised my homeroom teacher, Mr. Nakajima, that if I could do a back flip before summer vacation, he would give me a passing grade for physical education.

My brother said he would teach me, but he's now in junior high school and is busy with soccer, so it's not really an atmosphere where I can ask him to teach me. I can't just be a bother to my brother.

So I decided to practice on my own after school.

I notice that everyone is laughing from afar, but I try not to let it bother me. Of course, it's frustrating and makes me feel depressed, but the reality is that no matter how much I practice, I just can't seem to do it well, so I guess it can't be helped.

Is it just bad timing? It seems like it's just a matter of time.

My hands start to hurt quickly and I feel like giving up, but I remember Pee-chan and encourage myself. If I give up, I'll never be able to do it.

I want to be able to do things on my own by the time Pee-chan comes home. I want Pee-chan to be amazed at how much I've grown. I can't always rely on my dad and big brother.

"Okay, this is the last one!" I told myself, and with all my concentration, I put my foot on the bar, thinking it was my last chance.

Then someone shouted at me, "Kick it hard there!"

"Yay!" I heard a voice urging me to put all my strength into my left leg, and lo and behold! My body did a half turn and I was on top of the horizontal bar.

"Yes! I did it! I managed to climb onto the horizontal bar for the first time." Even I can do it if I try.

At that moment, Torii-san was standing in front of me, smiling brightly with his head tilted slightly to the right and making a low V sign with both hands.

Since then, I've been able to talk to Torii-san little by little. Amazingly, we even started going home together. We were going in the same direction, so at first I was nervous and excited. Up until then, I'd either go home with my brother, or I'd go home alone since it wasn't too far from school.

Torii-san lives in a very big house on the outskirts of town. I once passed by the house with my brother, and he said, "This place looks like a witch's house from a fairy tale." Of course, we didn't tell Torii-san about it.

But it's such a large Western-style mansion, it's like a magnificent house that could come out of a foreign drama.

"That house is said to be worth at least 200 million yen at the very least!" Nakagawa-kun, the only person I talk to in class, told me.

Nakagawa's father is a real estate agent.

Apparently it was difficult to find a buyer due to the high price. The house was originally inhabited by a yakuza who was in charge of the entire Atami area, and celebrities, athletes, and politicians would come to visit during the New Year holidays, but after the president passed away, the family moved to Yokohama and the house has been vacant ever since.

This town is a tourist destination, so there are large villas scattered around. There are quite a few homes owned by people who appear on TV, and Nakagawa's father is an expert on these villas. He cleans up abandoned villas and then offers them to people who want them.

Some people in my class say behind my back that Torii's house looks scary, but I think it's a perfect fit for the mysterious Torii. But 200 million yen is an amount of money I can't even imagine.

My allowance became 2,000 yen when I was in the fourth grade. It was 1,000 yen before, so it was double that. My dad promised to raise it to 3,000 yen when I entered junior high school.

I try not to spend my allowance as much as possible. I'm saving it little by little. When I have saved up enough, I'm going to buy a parakeet toy that I think Pee-chan will like. Of course, it's for when Pee-chan comes home.

My brother shows me his Instagram, where he posts lots of handmade parakeet toys. There are lots of cute things you won't find at a home improvement store. I'm sure Pee-chan will be delighted.

On the other hand, they are a little more expensive than usual. My brother said that it can't be helped because they are handmade and can't be mass-produced, but it's not a price that I can easily afford.

There are people who can make original, one-of-a-kind items. I'd like to discuss it with Pee-chan when he comes back and decide. How much would it cost? I'll need to save up more money for that.

I'll also take the initiative to run errands for my dad and try to save a little. I'll do my best for Pee-chan.

But 200 million! How much is 200 million? How many Garigari-kun cans would that be enough to buy? I try to imagine, but it's a completely unknown topic that doesn't come to mind. I wonder if I'll be able to see the unit '100 million' when I grow up?

Today, I got permission from my brother to invite Torii-san over to my house as a thank you for teaching me how to do a back flip. When I say invitation, I mean we're planning to make pancakes together. It was the first time in my life that I'd invited a friend over to my house. Come to think of it, I've never invited a friend over, but I've also never been invited over by a friend. Or rather, I've never had anyone I could call a friend before .

So, I was pretty nervous and excited at first, but it turns out I was just overthinking it.

With Torii-san, I can act naturally as if we've known each other for a long time. That's because when I'm around her, I can tell that she's always natural and completely honest, and I think she has the power to give me a comfortable and secure feeling when I'm sitting next to her. I don't know if that's a quality that Torii-san has always had, or if it's something that she's developed and mastered. The fact that she doesn't gossip at all, which is a typical thing that girls do, really increases my level of trust.

But Torii doesn't join the girls' group, so some of the girls don't seem to like him. Honda, who is in the same class, clearly has hostility towards Torii, which is a little scary. It's so obvious even to an outsider, so maybe Torii himself is aware of it.

To me, the human heart is a bit twisted and mysterious, and I can't understand it. Rather than thinking that Torii-san is cool for being able to do so much, I find him annoying.

I'm not as good at anything as other people, so I'm too busy with my own things to compare myself to others, or rather, the reality is that there's no one at my level that I can compare myself to. However, people like Torii who are superhumanly talented are just figures of admiration.

"Hehe, I guess some people might think that way," Torii replied to my direct question with a little laugh and a shrug.

Torii-san didn't seem to mind it at all, so rather than breathing a sigh of relief, I was honestly thinking that he probably didn't even care from the start.

We were able to talk a lot while making pancakes, so it was a dream come true for me. That said, Torii-san did most of the cooking, and I just topped the pancakes on a plate with strawberries and ice cream. But I got the hang of it, so next time I'm going to have my dad and brother try some of my homemade pancakes.

"I've always wanted to try this,"

After eating the pancakes, Torii poured herself a glass of plum wine, made from plums her father picked in the garden.

"Wow, it's bitter," Torii said after taking a sip, grimacing deeply.

"I'm surprised Dad can drink this every day."

"Plums are good for your health, and apparently you have to dilute it with something before drinking it," I wrote down on a note and showed it to Torii, who shrugged and laughed. Seeing this, I couldn't help but laugh too.

Torii-san's actions are always unexpected and surprising, something I would never have thought of.

Also, there's something that bothers me a little. Torii-san only ate a small amount of the pancakes. When I asked her if they were tasty, she replied, "They were really tasty! But don't worry about me. I can't usually eat much," with a slightly furrowed brow and a troubled look on her face.

"I'm just happy that I was able to make it together with Aonami.

I'll take the rest home and eat it at home."

"Oh, I see!" Torii-san didn't even eat school lunch. He always ate the cereal he brought with him. I thought he had allergies. There are a few kids in his class who have to eat special meals because they have allergies and it would be a big problem.

However, Torii doesn't have any allergies, and apparently has to give himself insulin injections after eating, so he calculates the amount and ingredients he eats each day.

Even just getting a flu shot makes me feel depressed in the morning, so I can't imagine having to get an injection every time.

Torii-san's pancreas seems to be in poor condition. He said that, like my heart, it's something I was born with, so I just have to live with it.

Each person has their own worries. You really can't tell just by looking at the surface. Even Torii-san, who seems perfect in every way, has restrictions on what he eats.

I felt very embarrassed because I thought I was the only one who was having a hard time. I need to be able to imagine what other people are going through. It's nothing but a child who only thinks about themselves.

Even though she's going through such a difficult time, Torii-san doesn't let it show at all. She really is an incredible person. I've come to respect Torii-san all over again. Seriously, I can't believe we're the same age.

Then they played video games. Torii-san said he had never played before, but he picked it up quickly.

It was a lot of fun while we were playing, but I realized later that Torii-san was trying to make sure that I won at the last moment. Of course, I didn't mind at all. That's where Torii-san's kindness really comes through. She's like an older sister of the same age.

More than that, there was one thing that bothered me.

When I returned to the living room after going to the bathroom, Torii-san was standing in front of Pee-chan's cage, staring straight at the cage without moving.

"What's wrong?" I tried to mutter to myself, but for some reason the atmosphere made it difficult for me to say anything, so I felt reluctant to step back and could only stay hidden for a while, holding my breath where no one could see me. Torii-san was staring intently at Pee-chan's cage without blinking.

It seems Honda's feelings for Torii have reached their max. Although, it's by no means a positive emotion. Hmm, I think he's teasing her because he's interested in her, and if he didn't care he would just ignore her, so that must mean that Honda is really interested in Torii. In terms of human relationships, I think the situation is more serious if he's not even teased or completely ignored like I am. I'm not sure if that's right of me to say it, though.

But Honda's feelings are one-sided.

Torii doesn't think about Honda on the level of liking or disliking her at all, I think he just sees her as one of his classmates. Even when I watch from up close, I can see that Torii treats his classmates equally and kindly to everyone. I wonder if he tries to be that way or if that's just his natural personality, but I think it's just his natural personality. My own personality is a bit crooked, so I tend to assume that other people are like that too, but when I look at Torii, I start to think that maybe people live by the assumption that humans are fundamentally good.

Also, I think the reason Honda is bullying Torii is definitely because he feels envious. Jealousy?

This was because everyone's attention was focused on Torii-san, and up until then Honda-san had the most say in the class.

Honda's extremely loud voice, slightly rough language, and pushy personality are the reasons she became the class leader.

There are only 32 students in the class, but even within that, we create a sort of order. It's not something that someone has clearly decided, it's something that just happens on its own, strangely enough. Naturally.

"That's just how humans are!" is how my brother answered my question. So I tried to imagine the order of the class, and it seems like I'm always at the very back of the class.

Honda seems to have a strong personality to begin with. But having three older brothers gives her the strength to stand up to boys her age. From my perspective, I had an almost enviable image of her as a "always energetic and cheerful girl!" But it seems like the parts of Honda I don't really like are exploding when it comes to Torii.

There are times when I think, "That might be the direct cause!"

It was the first time I visited Torii-san's house. We decided to make cookies together. I thought Torii-san would like to eat some cookies, and Torii-san's house has a big oven, so I thought I could bake some delicious cookies. I was really looking forward to making cookies for the first time.

First, we stopped by Aeon on the way home from school and bought ingredients to make cookies. I asked my brother to lend me a little money for the ingredients, since I didn't know how much we would need for the ingredients. But Torii-san had prepared most of it, so we only needed to buy some chocolate for the topping. After we were done shopping, we quickly headed to Torii-san's house on the outskirts of town.

"Dad! Dad, stop!" I heard a dull thud coming from a house along the way, followed by a girl's scream.

We looked over in surprise, and suddenly, Honda-san appeared in front of us as if pushed by something! "Whaaaaat?" Honda-san was barefoot, tears welling up in his eyes. "No good, no good, no good," I thought, not understanding what was going on at all, and all I could think was a premonition of danger as a tsunami warning rang out in my head.

At times like this I think, "I have to say something, is there anything I can say to follow up?" but nothing comes to mind, and in fact I'm not good at speaking properly on a regular basis.

And just as expected, a heavy atmosphere developed, as if time had stopped in this space. The three of us remained frozen in place, as if we were paralyzed, and our eyes moved restlessly like independent creatures, trying to read something from each other's expressions.

"Why are you dawdling? Hurry up and buy it!" A man's slightly slurred voice came from inside the house, breaking the silence.

to the voice with a start, then passed us by and ran barefoot towards Aeon.

Aeon is the only supermarket in my town, so I do most of my shopping at Aeon Mall.

Honda dashed off, then stopped for a moment, turned around to look at us as we stood there, dumbfounded, and started to say something, but then he quickly looked as if he'd given up, then turned back to run ahead.

Honda-san had tears in his eyes. He was about to say something, but he swallowed them. I couldn't even imagine that.

I just stared in silence as Honda's back disappeared from view.

Afterwards, a voice resembling a boy's scream could be heard from inside the house, mixed with the sounds of dishes breaking, something hitting a wall, and a dull thud like something being dropped to the floor.

"What should I do? I have to stop him," I thought, and looked at Torii. But Torii looked me in the eye, nodded slightly, and started walking away in a hurry without saying a word. As I hurried after Torii, I kept asking him in my mind, "Is it okay to just leave him like that?" A thought crossed my mind, wondering if I had given up on making my own decisions from the start.

"There are some realities where others have no say," Torii said, stopping to shake my hand and looking me in the eye.

I think she held my hand to ease my worries. I surprised myself by squeezing her hand back with such force. I felt a little embarrassed, but Torii-san laughed a little and shook my hand back even more firmly.

"Should we talk to the police or your teacher?" I wrote on a note and showed it to Torii.

"Well... I wonder if she would want that?" Torii said carefully, then slowly lowered his eyes with a look of sadness.

"The police may give the parents a warning, but they can't intervene in civil matters! I think the most appropriate thing to do would be to consult a child consultation center," Torii said, as she began to mix the butter and eggs with practiced hands.

"Even if I had consulted with Nakajima-sensei as a first step and my father had agreed to the discussion, I wonder if his personality would change that easily," he said, now adding the plain flour and mixing it.

"No matter who your parents are, they're still your parents , so I don't think she'll ever be able to hate them. Rather than the realistic relationship they have from the outside, I think it's more about how she herself feels about her father. With the distance between us now, we don't know what she really thinks."

"More than anything, I'm sure the last thing she wants is for the whole class to find out about this violent situation," she said, wrapping the dough in plastic wrap.

"Why is that? Well... kids have their own sense of pride."

"After a few more months, you will understand," Torii said with a slight laugh.

Then she said, "Let the dough rest here for about 30 minutes!" and put the cookie dough in the refrigerator.

"Hmm, hmm," honestly, it's too difficult for me to know what's right.

My dad scolds me all the time too, but it's all because of my selfishness. For watching anime or playing games instead of doing my homework. But he's never yelled at me like that. And even when he scolds me, I just reply "yes" and he doesn't pursue it any further, so maybe he doesn't really care about me? Actually, my brother might be even stricter. He won't let me off the hook until I've finished.

But what if they did that to me? I'd be completely lost.

"First, talk to Dr. Nakajima. If she asks us for help, then we'll do our best to do the best we can for Honda-san," she said, looking at me and giving me a slight wink.

Hearing Torii's words, some of the vague feeling of unease that had been smoldering inside me disappeared, and I felt a little better.

I think that from that day on, Honda began to view Torii as an enemy.

"Hmm, hmm, I guess so." Just as Torii said, it's because we saw the thing Honda wanted most to hide. Even before, I'd never really liked Torii, because he was perfect and the center of attention. I'm surprised that even someone like me noticed his blatant behavior. What is pride? Is there a clear definition? Honda was caught out by someone who saw something she wanted to hide, so is she attacking and pressuring those who found out to keep it a secret ? Does that mean she doesn't want to accept her true self? I understand the desire to make herself appear even slightly better, but no matter how hard you try to hide it , sooner or later, everyone around you will find out. Honda feels embarrassed about her situation, so does she want to believe it's not really like this? Are you trying to convince yourself? Do you want to pretend it never happened? Maybe one day things will completely change? I understand that feeling. But the circumstances you find yourself in won't change that easily. Even this incident somehow feels like something a child can't change.

I think everyone has an ideal of "I want to be like this!", but we are still unable to survive in society alone. Therefore, we are heavily influenced by the environment we are born into, so if that environment is an incredibly painful place, I think the only way to get out is to get help from an adult. I know that I can say this calmly because it's not about my own family.

"Yes, the one who is really suffering is probably her, having to go out of her way to hate someone," Torii said to Honda with concern. "Also, if you think about why she ended up like that, you can see what she really thinks."

The reason...is about your father, right? Huh? Doesn't Honda-san have a mother? If she did, she would never have allowed something like that. Then I realized how little I know about Honda-san.

"It's crazy!" Even though we've been in the same class for over four years, I still have no idea. I just realized that the other kids in my class are like that too. "Hahaha," but on the other hand, the other kids in my class aren't interested in me either, so I don't think they know me that well.

From then on, Honda's harassment of Torii became more and more severe, while Torii just ignored the harassment with a straight face.

For example, there was mud in Torii's indoor shoes, and when he returned from gym class his bag had been thrown in the trash, and things from his desk had been thrown on the floor...these were the kinds of small, cruel things you'd see in a TV drama.

It's so childish, so cruel, so stupid. Torii-san doesn't tell anyone about Honda-san's house, and in fact she's worried about him. How can he continue to harass her like this without knowing that?

I couldn't stand it any longer and tried to complain to Honda-san, but Torii-san stopped me.

"No! If you do that, Honda's hatred will be directed towards you."

"But something like this..." I felt so angry that my whole body went mad, and for some reason the tears wouldn't stop. But even after all that, Torii was still worried about Honda, and on top of that, she had the presence of mind to protect me, so she was definitely more mature than I was. Not knowing what to do and at a loss, I realized that I was still childish, or rather, surprisingly quick to anger.

"Hehe, I'm really fine," Torii said, wiping away the tears that were spilling from my eyes with her handkerchief.

"Huh? He looks a bit like Pee-chan..." I thought, remembering Pee-chan, and tears wouldn't stop. Sometimes, even for no apparent reason, I would find myself hating myself, and when I felt helpless, with no outlet, and no idea where to go, and was feeling down, Pee-chan would suddenly fly over and sit on my shoulder. Then she would press her face against me. Then, when I'd say just one word, "Pee-chan," she'd stay with me until I stopped crying.

Pee-chan is my little sister, but she's also my big sister, and sometimes she's like a mother to me. She's also my best friend, and maybe I could call her my lover. I don't really understand what lover means yet, it's just an image I have.

I can talk about anything to Pee-chan. I feel like honestly apologizing for the bad parts of myself that I'm vaguely aware of but don't want to admit, and for the things that didn't go well because of my selfishness. That's because Pee-chan patiently listens to my long and tedious stories without giving up. Even my brother usually doesn't finish the story and falls asleep halfway through.

Torii-san is also very patient with me when I have long conversations, just like Pee-chan. He really is just like Pee-chan.

"Hehe, I'm sure I can do it. Look, look at this!" Torii said as she took out a pair of delicate silver shoes from her new backpack and held them above her head with both hands, reflecting the rather strong western sunlight filtering in through the window in the hallway.

"Amazing, it's sparkling and beautiful!" I muttered to myself as I rubbed my crying eyes and looked up.

"Are these...ballet pointe shoes?"

"Hehe, I told Nakajima-sensei about it and he gave me special permission," Torii says with a mischievous laugh.

The shoes were a pale silver color that was almost white overall, with beads evenly woven into the instep and heel that shone brightly in the sunlight. The pale pink ribbon attached to the tip of the shoe exuded a cuteness that any girl would love.

I think it really suits Torii's slender, long legs.

"Oh, by the way, I also got a new bag," Torii said, spinning around and bringing a new day bag in front of my face.It was a pale blue nylon backpack with a girly, rounded design.

"Haha, maybe it'll just make me stand out more," Torii said with a playful smile and a wink.

"They're so cute! Both of them are perfect for you, Torii-san," I muttered to myself after I had completely stopped crying, shaking my head up and down as fast as I could in an attempt to express my emotions.

Torii-san looked surprised at my reaction, then suddenly burst out laughing, his face twisting. I was a little annoyed for a moment, but Torii-san caught me and I started laughing out loud. "Oh, you're making a little noise."

That day, the girls seemed a little strange. Even I, who's usually pretty spaced out, felt something was off about the unusual atmosphere, so it was pretty bad. Perhaps influenced by it, it's no wonder that even the boys in the class were restless and restless. This kind of thing spreads, I guess. Honda and the other girls, along with a few other groups under them, were huddled together, whispering something to each other. It was really unpleasant. They were probably trying not to let the boys hear, but their overly exaggerated reactions felt like they were deliberately trying to make some kind of statement. They also seemed to have bad personalities.

I wonder who isn't joining in, I wonder, looking around the class. The only people there are Torii-san herself and Kato-san, who is always reading a book by the window in the classroom. Kato-san has a somewhat mature air about her, and I don't really get the impression that she acts in groups like the other girls. She doesn't have a gloomy personality, but rather seems calm. I get the impression that she doesn't need to be in a group.

"It seems Honda's gang is up to something."

Nakagawa quietly hands me a note saying, "Gang," which refers to a criminal group, and I almost laugh.

If I ask Nakagawa, he'll tell me all the details about the class. But I've never asked him before. It's not that I'm really interested, but I feel like it would be troublesome if I knew too much about other people. No, it kind of scares me. Maybe I'm a bit of a mess inside, so I want to avoid imagining what other people are thinking and going down a dark path.

Nakagawa himself admires Daniel Craig's 007 and has declared that he wants to be a spy when he grows up. The only problem is that, like me, he's not very good at sports. I think spies have a lot of action scenes and fighting is an important element, so I can't imagine the mild-mannered Nakagawa punching someone. Also, for some reason, Daniel Craig always takes off his clothes and gets naked. I think it's fan service, but when I imagine Nakagawa shirtless, he seems pretty weak, so it's a bit worrying.

Nakagawa is very good at games and is very strong, so I personally think he would be better suited to e-sports, but I know I could never say that to him when he's so motivated.

According to Nakagawa's latest information, Honda and her female entourage are apparently planning to do something to Torii.

"What are you planning to do?" I asked, surprised, and quickly sent a note to Nakagawa. Of course, this was not a good thing for Torii.

"Even I don't know that much detail," came the answer, which was completely unacceptable from 007's perspective.

"You can't do such a sloppy job if you're aiming to be a spy!" I thought, glaring at Nakagawa, who shrugged, returned to his seat, and began reading a guide to the game.

He kept his lips pursed in dissatisfaction. Seeing this, I found it funny even at a time like this and almost laughed. I quickly turned to Torii-san, and she was watering the potted plants in the classroom as per her usual routine, whispering something to them.

Torii-san noticed my panicked gaze and turned towards me, nodding with her usual gentle smile.

"It's okay!" she said, but I felt like I could sense her feelings even though she didn't say it out loud, and it made me feel a little more at ease.

But deep inside, I can't help but feel a very unpleasant uneasiness.

At that moment, I suddenly felt like someone was watching me, so I looked to the far left of the classroom, where Honda was staring intently at Torii and me with a frightening look in his eyes. "Ahh, he's seriously scary!" I forced myself to swallow my scream, and, looking at Torii's profile, which had the same calm expression as always, I rallied my motivation and made a firm vow to myself, "I have to do something!" "But Honda does have a scary look on his face... he might look like he's about to kill someone."

"Huh? Something's strange. Where did he go?" I thought, looking around the classroom before the afternoon class started, but Torii was nowhere to be found. "I guess he hasn't been there since lunchtime..." I thought, recalling the scene from just a few minutes ago.

Torii-san always leaves his seat to take an insulin injection before eating. Apparently, he sometimes eats lunch in the library instead of in the classroom. This is because Torii-san eats surprisingly small amounts, and he only eats very limited foods, so he finishes his entire meal in less than five minutes. And, since he would have a lot of free time if he tried to keep up with the rest of his class, Nakajima-sensei gave him special permission to kill time by reading books in the library.

Even so, he always comes back for the afternoon classes...

"What's wrong? Does it have anything to do with Honda-san?" I asked, looking over at Nakagawa, who had made an X with his fingers in front of his chest and scrunched up his nose. With his eyes wide and mouth wide open, his facial expression conveying what he wanted to say, he pointed to Torii-san's seat.

"So that's it! Something happened to Torii-san, hasn't it?" I said, moving only my mouth as slowly and clearly as possible so that it would be easy to understand. Nakagawa nodded vigorously with his fingers still in an X shape, then furrowed his brow and adopted a serious expression. Then he uncrossed his fingers, turned both palms toward the ceiling, and, without changing his expression, raised both shoulders in an exaggerated manner.

"What's wrong? Has Torii returned?" asks Nakajima-sensei, shaking his head.

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know!" Honda replied in a voice louder than necessary, and as if to provoke her companions, she put her hand on her stomach and banged the table loudly. In response, the girls around her all burst out giggling as if they had agreed to it .

"That's so rude!" I felt like my beloved Torii-san had been insulted, and my chest tightened.

"Well, it's Torii, so I think it'll be okay," Nakajima-sensei said, trying to convince himself and bring the conversation to a close.

"Teacher! I'll go find him!" I said to myself, and without any hesitation I stood up and quickly wrote "I'll go find him!" on the whiteboard. I was scared, so I tried not to look towards Honda's seat as much as possible.

"Oh, I see... I'll leave it to you then..." The teacher was clearly taken aback by my uncharacteristically proactive behavior, and he seemed quite surprised as he opened his eyes, which usually look sleepy, as wide as possible and looked at my face to see how I reacted.

"Then I'll go with you!" For some reason, Kato also stood up.

"Well then, I'll do it too!" Nakagawa said, and stood up too.

"Tch," Honda let out a threatening voice at the actions of the three. I instinctively glanced over at Honda, and saw him glaring at me with his single eyelids raised as high as he could in a resentful manner.

"That's scary!" I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach, but for Torii's sake, I clenched my hands tightly and ran out of the classroom, trying not to look at Honda.

"Where did Torii-san go? Torii-san, what on earth happened?" I ran out of the classroom, but I had no idea where to look for him.

"Phew, calm down and think about this. Torii-san, who should be inside the school, has disappeared. And he must be in a place where he can't escape on his own..." I said, racking my brains as hard as I could, when Kato-san said this in a slightly dismissive tone.

"Torii-san is in the bathroom! I think that's a bit too cheesy. He said he locked himself in the bathroom."

"Let's hurry! This way," Kato said, and walked quickly down the hallway. Nakagawa and I looked at each other, nodded, and immediately followed Kato in the direction of the women's restroom.

However, when we arrived at the women's restroom, despite our excitement, we realized we couldn't go in.

"Let's take this opportunity to go in and take a look," Nakagawa said in an oddly cheerful voice.

"That's right... leave it to me," Kato said, ignoring Nakagawa's words and smiling wryly.

"Please!" I said in my heart, entrusting my feelings to Kato, and put my left arm around Nakagawa's right arm to stop him from going inside.

Kato-san looked at me and nodded, then immediately opened the door to the ladies' room and went inside. After just a few minutes, she reappeared, opening the door again. Standing in front of us, she gave me a puzzled look and shook her head from side to side several times.

"Hmm, that's a little strange. Could you two come in for a bit?" I began, frowning slightly. Nakagawa, hearing my words, lit up as if to say, "We've been waiting for you!" He pushed me aside and went into the long-awaited women's restroom. "Is this really a place you really want to go in that much?" I thought, looking at Nakagawa's enthusiastic back.

"So there really aren't any toilets for peeing? This smells better than the men's," Nakagawa murmured, sounding convinced as he looked around the bathroom. Kato and I completely ignored him and just looked at each other and shrugged, standing in front of the stall door, which had been propped up from the outside with a mop handle and covered in duct tape.

"That's strange. There's duct tape all over the place, so I shouldn't be able to get out, but I don't feel like there's anyone inside..."

"Torii-san, Torii-san, are you okay?" Kato knocked on the door several times and called Torii-san's name repeatedly. However, Torii-san's voice did not return from inside. In the silent bathroom, the only sound that could be heard was Kato-san calling Torii-san's name.

When Nakagawa said, "Maybe he's collapsed inside?", my heart was shaken so much that I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

However, Kato calmly replied without changing her expression, "No, I'm not that type of person."

"Due to his diabetes, he may have had hypoglycemia. But I think Torii-san just went along with those stupid kids," he said, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling of the bathroom as if thinking about something.

"But it's strange that there's no reaction at all," he said as he peeled off the duct tape. "We need to get this duct tape off first," Kato said as a signal, and the three of them concentrated on peeling off the duct tape.

"Huh? There's no one here . In fact, this is my first time inside a women's room," Nakagawa said as he peeked through the door, his voice somehow a little higher than usual.

But when I opened the door, there was no one inside.

"Oh dear, then where on earth did Torii-san disappear to?" Nakagawa asked, and we all looked at each other.

The three of us stared at the empty women's restroom stall for a while, stunned and unable to move.

"Look! How much duct tape are you using? It's such a waste," Nakagawa exclaimed in exasperation as he gathered up the piles of duct tape that had become garbage. Since it would be a problem if someone else saw them in the women's restroom, the three decided to leave for the time being.

"Those kids' bullying is simple, so they shouldn't do anything more than this..."

"Where did Torii go? Even if we were to look elsewhere, are there any places in the school where he could hide? The science lab, the audiovisual room, the gym preparation room... there are quite a few blind spots. Or maybe he's already gone home?" Nakagawa asked, listing various examples like a detective.

"By the way, Kato-san, you understand Honda-san and the others very well, don't you?"

"Oh, that? Because I was the target of those kids' bullying until Torii-san came along," Kato replied to Nakagawa's question with a wry smile, as if she wasn't bothered at all.

"You and Aonami will be fine. Compared to everyone else, you think of yourself as a baby. No one will bully you," Kato said, laughing for some reason.

"I originally lived two houses down from Honda, so I know her family situation very well. I think that's why she feels annoyed..." Kato started to say, but then stammered.

"Is that...about your father?" I wrote on the note and showed it to Kato.

"Oh, you know a lot about it, don't you?"

"Torii and I happened to come across that scene together," I explained to Kato, who replied, "Oh, so that's why her frustration was directed at Torii."

"Why are you getting irritated with Torii-san after that?" Nakagawa asks, shaking his head.

"Hahaha! You guys seem to be so self-sufficient that you don't seem to care about the reactions of those around you. In a way, I'm kind of jealous."

"Oh dear, it's never going to come true so you should just give up," says Kato, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

"Torii-san is on a completely different level from us. He's not someone we could ever have had a crush on from the start," Kato said with a slight sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

"Well, yeah... I can't really explain it, but there's something a little different about them? Sometimes they seem fundamentally different from us."

"It's very attractive and I admire it, but..." Kato said, choosing his words carefully.

"Besides, it's a bit strange that you're so clingy on Aonami-kun more than necessary," she said, and burst out laughing.

"That's right! Aonami is the only one who doesn't notice," Nakagawa said, bursting out in laughter as he found something funny.

"Th-That's not true..." I thought, feeling my face getting hot. I knew that they must have seen my face bright red, so I could only look down in embarrassment.

At that moment, a faintly familiar voice reached my ears in the silent school building during class: "Huh, I can hear you... I can hear you. This voice..."

The image of Pee-chan calling out to me, "Eh, Pee-chan? Is that Pee-chan?" comes back to mind. It was unmistakably Pee-chan's voice calling out to me. There's no way I'll forget it, no way I could mistake it. It's really faint, but I can definitely hear it coming from the top of the school building. The two of them don't seem to hear anything, but I can hear it.

"Pee-chan, wait up!" I said, putting my heart aside and running as fast as I could towards the voice.

"I'll be there soon, so wait for me." The two of them followed me silently, not understanding what was going on at my sudden action.

"This is it!" I was standing in front of the rooftop door. I was out of breath and my heart was beating hard, but I didn't mind at all.

I quickly open the door.

"Pee-chan!" Pee-chan is standing on the white railing on the roof.

There, Pee-chan was shining a topaz color in the afternoon sunlight. As usual, he tilted his head to the right and looked at me. "I'm glad, Pee-chan. You're safe. I was so worried about you . You've come back."

"Oh, Torii-san?" Kato muttered from behind me.

"Eh, Torii-san? Is that Torii-san?"

I narrowed my eyes at Kato's words and looked closely at Pee-chan, and saw Torii-san sitting on the railing, looking at me with a gentle smile on his face.

"Oh, isn't it Pee-chan?"

Maybe the yellow skirt fluttering in the wind reminded me of Pee-chan... But even so...

"Torii-san! It's dangerous to be out there," Nakagawa called out. It wasn't Pee-chan after all... Torii-san, wrapped in a soft breeze, jumped off the railing, dancing lightly through the air.

We are mesmerized by the graceful movements, as if gravity does not exist in this world.

"Wow, it's so beautiful," Kato couldn't help but mutter.

"Are you OK, Torii-san? I was so worried," Nakagawa said, running up to me. "Hehe, I'm fine. But you came to help me, didn't you? Thank you. I'm so happy," Torii said in a gentle voice, stroking my head as I nearly burst into tears at the sight of Torii-san's safe face. Seeing this, Kato-san and Nakagawa-kun looked at each other and for some reason had wry smiles on their faces.

"More importantly, it would be a shame to be in a classroom on such a beautiful day," Torii said, looking up at the smoky pre-summer sky.

"Why don't we all just go to the sea?"

"But what about your afternoon classes?" Nakagawa asked timidly. "Oh, of course I'll skip them," Torii replied, smiling slightly and winking mischievously.

The four of us decided to sneak out of the school by climbing up the cherry blossom trees at the back of the building. There was no way we could leave through the main gate in front of the whole school, especially during class.

However, as soon as they reached the cherry tree, a problem arose. The two girls were able to climb up easily, but the two boys couldn't get the hang of it, or rather, they were hesitant and couldn't do it well, or rather, they were too scared to take the first step, and to be honest, they were scared. The harsh reality was that not only could they not keep up with the two girls, they hadn't even started.

Torii- san and Kato-san are both about 10cm taller than us, who are the shortest in our class, and have longer limbs, so I think that gives them an advantage, but I also feel like our physical abilities are completely different. Do girls generally develop faster? No, more importantly than that, they're both braver than us. They're more bold than us, who get scared of even the smallest things, so they just go for it. That's cool.

This is my first time sneaking out of school, so I'm a little nervous. But at the same time, I'm excited. It's just that my feelings and actions don't match.

"Aoba! Hold on," Torii said from the top of the tree, holding out his right hand in front of my face as I hesitated and couldn't climb up. I was a little confused, but I held out my right hand and shook Torii's hand back.

Torii's tightly clasped hands convey a sense of strength and absolute security. I feel happy and courage wells up from deep within my body. Now is the time to take a step forward. I will dispel any hesitation or doubts and move forward.

With Torii-san by my side, I feel like I can muster up the courage to take on anything.

A 20-minute walk down the hill from the elementary school at the foot of the mountain reveals a view of the blue sea and the port, docked with many yachts. Even on weekday afternoons, there are quite a few tourists. I'm an indoor person and rarely go outside except to and from school, so I'd forgotten that this town is one of Japan's leading tourist destinations. Kato told me that on weekends and holidays, especially in the summer resort season, Ginza Street in Atami is as crowded with people as Takeshita Street in Harajuku. "But you've never been to Harajuku," he said, and the four of us burst out laughing. But then we realized that none of us had ever been to Harajuku, so we decided that none of us knew what it was really like.

If you're wondering what I usually do when I'm at home, I guess I play online games. Sometimes I play with Nakagawa-kun. My older brother feels bad for me because I don't go out much, so he takes me to the nearby Aeon, but I don't really like crowds, so I'm not really keen on it. Also, most of my classmates have been going to cram school since around the third grade, so they always seem busy. I don't go out of my way to meet up with them after school.

I wonder if they do? To begin with, I don't have anyone I can call a friend, so I don't really know.

So when you go out by yourself after school or on the weekends, you might be at a loss as to what to do.

But today, something felt different. My heart started to dance as I escaped for the first time in my life, and my mood was lifted and I felt an explosion of excitement. I was surprised to discover that even someone like me, who is usually timid and shy, could do something so bold!

The best thing is that I'm relieved that Torii-san wasn't injured! I knew Torii-san would be okay, but I was getting sick of thinking about what might happen. I'm so relieved that it wasn't anything serious.

When the four of us arrived at the beach, several pigeons came over, so Torii gave them some cereal, his staple food. At first there were only two or three, but they soon gathered and in an instant there were so many that it was almost scary. The pigeons seemed to be used to humans, so they didn't run away at all. In fact, they came at us with a pounding, powerful force.

Before you know it, many sparrows, seagulls, and crows have joined in the action, making it even more lively.

But the vitality of wild animals, or rather, their drive to eat, is incredibly strong. Even if I were a bird and joined them, I wouldn't even be able to join in the struggle for survival and would probably starve to death in no time. If my dad and brother saw this, they would probably say to me, "Take a leaf out of the pigeon's book and be a bit more assertive towards others!" But even if they told me that, it's impossible. I can imagine that I'd never be able to do it.

More than anything, when I saw the pigeons, I was reminded of Pee-chan and I felt sad.

"I wonder how Pee-chan is eating? Is he eating properly? Where is he right now?" I thought, and a sharp pain ran through my heart. The beauty of the ocean sparkling in the afternoon sunlight in front of me seemed hazy, as if covered by a pure white veil, and I felt as if all color had disappeared from the world.

"I want to see Pee-chan..." As time passes, even the outline of Pee-chan's face begins to blur in my memory, so I try desperately to burn the yellow afterimage of Pee-chan perched on the balcony firmly into the back of my eyelids so I don't forget.

"Here, eat this," Kato said, handing me a vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate as I was drifting alone in my own world. The tricolor oven cafe, just visible from the bench here, is managed by Kato's mother . Well, more like the owner than the manager. It seems Kato helps out sometimes too.

"You could call it slavery called part-time work. It's like being treated like on a plantation in the American South in the 1800s," she said, and said that rather than taking up the job willingly, she'd rather avoid it if possible, but the fact that she doesn't dislike the work itself probably means that she wants to help out on her own initiative, but is reluctant to do it when her mother asks her to. I think I can kind of understand that feeling.

Apparently he explained to his mother that he was at the beach for an extracurricular activity.

"I don't think they believe it at all," he added with a laugh.

The four of us sat side by side on a bench and ate our ice cream. Facing the endless ocean, we ate our ice cream in silence. The pleasant sea breeze enveloped our bodies, and the relaxed atmosphere seemed to lull us to sleep. All sorts of people passed by us, from kids our age who were clearly foreigners and made us wonder what was going on at school, to old men and women out for a walk. We were simply recognized as part of the seaside scenery. The troublesome and delicate interpersonal conflicts, including the turmoil in the classroom, no longer mattered to us. They were just minor incidents.

The gentle breeze from the ocean in the afternoon seems to gently reset our feelings as well.

"You guys, stop slacking off and eat this before you go back to school!" Kato's mother shouted as she came running up to them. Unlike Kato, who always gives off a cool vibe, she looked 100% energetic. What a surprise! The paper bag she was holding in her right hand was stuffed to the brim with scones.

"I didn't cook these properly so I can't serve them to customers, so you guys can eat them. If there are any left over, give them to the kids at school," I told them, and ran back to the store, making sure they returned to school.

On the way home, she said, "Should I contact Professor Nakajima myself?" so I guess she was still worried.

As I listen to Kato's quick response, "It's absolutely no problem, so it's fine!", I can picture what life is like inside my house on a normal day.

"Hmm, I guess she found out after all," Kato sighed, looking at her mother's strong back .

I was impressed with the scones I tried for the first time. They were a little hard on the outside but moist inside and very tasty. They come in a variety of flavours which is fun.

There are many variations, such as kneading other ingredients into the dough, mixing them in later, or adding toppings at the end. The four of us promised to ask Kato-san to teach us how to make it and bake it together in the near future.

Kato-san says she learned it naturally because she helped her mother make the cakes together. Kato-san herself has said that she doesn't dislike baking sweets, so I think she does enjoy it.

"I don't dislike him!" That's so typical of Kato. But people are different from the image they have from the outside. I guess you never know until you talk to them.

"What are you going to do? Are you going back to school now?" Nakagawa asked Torii with a slightly worried look on his face.

"Hehe, maybe it's about time," Torii said with a slight smile.

"I wonder if there's been any commotion at school?" Nakagawa asked, frowning, his expression quite serious compared to usual.

"Well, of course it did happen. One of them went missing, and the three who went looking for him didn't come back until it was time to go home. It's like a school ghost story!" Kato said, laughing and shrugging.

"But isn't this the time to show off your skills, Torii-san?"

"Hehehe," Torii said with a smile, "I feel sorry for Honda, but I want her to learn the correct way to express her feelings. For her own sake, too." Kato nodded slowly in response, and told me the story of what had happened up to that point.

Honda's father would become violent when drunk, which was why Honda's mother left home two years ago, and then his father started drinking more and his violence escalated, and when his mother left home she took only his oldest brother with her. To make matters worse, Kato found out after they broke up that his mother had been dating a younger university student for several years before she left, and it was a messy turn of events.

"I can understand why Honda is going through such a difficult time. He wasn't like that in the past, and we lived close to each other, so we were just good friends ..." Kato said, looking up at the clouds slowly drifting over the Tokkoku Pass mountain range.

"That's why I forgave Honda for bullying me. Or rather, I tried to accept it. But maybe that was the wrong way to do it. I ended up spoiling Honda. That's not the problem..." Kato said, looking at Torii's face. The two of them stared at each other in silence.

Hmm, Kato did it with Honda's best interests in mind, but in the end it led Honda in the wrong direction. I wonder if Honda understood Kato's feelings too? And then he went along with Kato's feelings and became dependent on her? Oh, maybe that kindness ended up hurting Honda's feelings even more?

Is that the "children's pride" that Torii mentioned before? Everyone perceives things differently, and it's not always the same... Honda might have felt that Kato's kindness reflected his own existence as something sad. I think pride is something we become aware of when someone makes fun of us, so perhaps the kindness shown to Honda by Kato, who was the same age, in the same class, and on the same level, was something Honda couldn't forgive.

Hmm, I wonder what Honda-san thinks about a father who gets drunk and violent? Torii-san said that no matter what kind of parents a child has, they will never hate them. I can kind of understand that.

Oh no, could it be that Honda-san is forgiving her father's violence? Is she worried about her father, who has become desperate since her mother left? Is that even possible? But maybe that's just mistaking kindness. Honda-san is also spoiling her father.

That's right! Everyone has their buttons slightly mismatched. To fix this misaligned relationship... all you have to do is carefully untangle each and every tangled thread.

To do that, we need to face the painful and unpleasant reality head-on. And what is the right and ideal direction for each of us? We have no choice but to talk about it with each other. I'm sure that's what I need too.

Unlike the hustle and bustle in front of Atami Station, which is always crowded, there were hardly any people on the steep slope of Fukumichicho leading to the school, and the only sound we could hear was our heavy breathing. We're used to slopes, but the steep slope stretching from the sea to the top of the mountain made even elementary school kids like us breathe hard. And yet, Torii-san's expression didn't change at all. Amazing , Torii-san's physical abilities are godlike.

I wonder if he's training himself not to show his distress? If I'm upset, it shows on my face right away, so my dad and brother say I'm childish.

"So, what's going to happen now? Won't we get scolded for skipping school?" Nakagawa, who was surprisingly serious and still hadn't sorted out his feelings, muttered anxiously, and Torii and Kato looked at each other and started laughing.

"That's true, I'm sure whatever happens will happen," said Kato.

Torii-san turned his body, took three steps forward, and said to us with a smile.

"It's okay! In fact, things will happen as they will."

Then Torii-san stood tall at the school's main gate with the three of us following him.

Her eyes are fixed straight ahead as she feels the sea breeze rising from the ocean.

Looking to my side, I saw Nakagawa stuffing his mouth full of the scone Torii had left behind, nodding vigorously. I think he was using his appetite to counteract his anxiety.

Really, people have many different sides to them.

Apparently, around that time, when the four of them were gazing out at the waves and eating ice cream, saying things like "Ice cream tastes better when you eat it with friends," the whole school was in an uproar. Apparently, this is all based on information I gleaned later through Nakagawa's network.

Suddenly, four students disappeared, and the whole class searched the school thoroughly, but they were nowhere to be found. In a panic, Mr. Nakajima consulted the principal, but was severely reprimanded for negligence in supervision, and was on the verge of tears.

But no matter how hard I search, I can't find the four of them.

Then the situation gradually becomes more serious.

No one saw the four of them leave during class, but they weren't on campus. Where did they disappear to?! The mysterious storm caused a mild panic among the teachers, including Nakajima-sensei. Eventually, strange and mysterious information started to appear! An upperclassman came forward saying he'd seen the four of them walking in a line towards the river behind the school, or they'd held hands and formed a circle in the entrance, chanting a spell as they spun around, and then they'd suddenly speed up and disappear... Things were going in all sorts of directions that just didn't make sense.

If it gets to this point, the school might think, "Now we have to call the police!" and things will escalate.

Honda's number one subordinate, Hirate, was unable to bear the situation and was the first to run away.

"I didn't want to do it, but Honda-san asked me to..." "There it is!" The most hated act of betrayal.

Both Nakajima and Arai were quick to avoid responsibility, saying, "I was forced to do it too," and the type who kowtow to those in power can change their minds super quickly. It's astonishing. But what is friendship between girls? I just can't understand it.

Honda must have been shocked by the unexpected betrayal of his subordinate. He cried and became furious at the three of them, almost as if he was having a frighteningly violent tantrum. Everyone in the class and Nakajima-sensei were shocked. Just thinking about it makes me pee my pants.

Torii sighed and told me that Honda's way of getting angry must be similar to that of his father. "That's just how it goes," he said.

Even Professor Nakajima, who had been somewhat lenient, seems to have been forced to think about this incident.

Well, I think bullying is wrong no matter what the reason. I'm often made fun of, but even if it's a small act, it can really hurt the person on the receiving end.

It seems like the bullies forget about it quickly, but the scars they leave are hard to heal.

I'm sure Torii wants Honda to realize that, too. I'm sure he wants this incident to make Honda realize the dangers of hurting others. Just because Honda was hurt by his father doesn't mean he has the right to hurt others. Nakajima-sensei will ask Honda why, right? But he can't answer. That's because Honda would have to tell him everything, all the unpleasant things he doesn't want others to know about. He hates the facts, wants to forget them, and that's why he attacked Kato and Torii, who know about them. Yes, Honda is trying to hide the truth because he doesn't want to be pitied. To protect his pride. I too felt depressed when my classmates bullied me, and when my brother noticed, I couldn't tell him that I was bullied, so I felt the urge to hide it. Because I thought it was uncool to be bullied. Because I felt pathetic being bullied. It's our petty pride, our self-protective beliefs that make things so complicated. If you can be more honest and accept your true self for the things that are bothering you, then in a sense you will give up, you won't need to make yourself look bigger, and you'll probably stop attacking others.

It was like something out of a comic book! I was a little taken aback by the commotion I could hear coming from the school building. It seemed like the whole school had noticed us at the gates, and I could almost hear the commotion.

I saw a panicked Professor Nakajima rush towards me from the entrance. He seemed to have been in a hurry, his glasses had fallen off, he was breathing heavily, and he still had his indoor shoes on.

As soon as Nakagawa saw the teacher, he seemed relieved and started crying.

"Where have you been? We've been looking for you so much. Everyone was so worried about you!" said Nakajima, hugging Nakagawa.

Then, drawn in by Nakagawa's tears, Nakajima-sensei also began to cry out loud.

He kept saying, "It's okay now!" but what's okay about it? I thought to myself, feeling a little guilty about Nakagawa's fake crying.

When Torii said, "If Nakagawa would just cry, everything would be fine," Nakagawa looked confused and didn't understand what she was talking about.

"Because Nakajima-sensei must think Nakagawa-kun is cute," Torii-san said with a smile, to which Kato-san agreed, "That might be true!" and it made sense to me. That's because Nakagawa-kun has the personality to interact with any type of person without creating barriers. It's something I can't do, but Nakagawa-kun is friendly and can talk to any type of person with the same enthusiasm. I think it's because he doesn't have any barriers to put up, so the other person doesn't have to be weird or anything, and a comfortable relationship is created. And it's not like he's doing it on purpose. That's why he can interact naturally with people like me and the male leader, Daisuke-kun.

If you become shy and too conscious of others in order to protect yourself like I do, the other person will unknowingly also be careful, and you will end up getting lost in a negative labyrinth that will leave both of you exhausted.

fix this, it's difficult because it's a fundamental part of me. When I think about it like that, I end up worrying even more, which makes me even more tired, and I don't know what to do about this vicious cycle. Ugh, I'm getting annoyed with myself.

That's right, Nakajima-sensei might not be very good with Torii-san and Kato-san either. Both of them seem to be able to see right through the other person, and I don't mean that in a bad way, but there are times when you just can't tell what they're thinking. In fact, they seem more mature than the teacher. I feel like the teacher doesn't know how to deal with them, and is at a loss as to what to do with them. Unlike me. But that's also what makes them so appealing.

It really seems like girls grow up faster than boys. That's what I think.

For the time being, thanks to Nakagawa's crying imitation, we were able to avoid the troublesome explanation to Nakajima-sensei and get away with it. Watching Nakajima-sensei being manipulated by Torii-san, I thought that it wasn't a difference between being a child or an adult, but a difference in gender characteristics.

When we returned to the classroom, there was an incredibly tense atmosphere that made me want to step back in a panic.

"I think I'll go to the bathroom for a bit," Nakagawa said, trying to escape, but Kato quickly grabbed him by the back of his collar. Resigned to his situation, Nakagawa reluctantly went into the classroom with us.

In the classroom, everyone was throwing their opinions at Honda, but the atmosphere was like an explosion of all the pent-up pent-up frustration! Even those of us who joined later were taken aback, and even a little frightened, by the turn of events.

Honda responded fiercely to every complaint, opinion, or argument from everyone.

Even the usually quiet Watanabe said, trembling, "I was scared when someone pushed me from behind in the hallway."

Honda glared and screamed, "I don't remember every single thing like that!"

"That's terrible!" Watanabe exclaimed, bursting into tears.

Nakajima-sensei watches them in silence. Is he trying to get everyone to release all of their pent-up negative emotions?

When I looked next to me, I saw Torii-san looking down and no one could see him, but I felt like he was smiling slightly. It was a little scary.

Eventually , even the excited boys started to vent their feelings towards Honda. They complained about things like her stealing their stationery or deliberately throwing a rag at their face while they were cleaning, which was cute up until that point, but Sakurai, who was as quiet as me in class, made a bombshell statement: "I was forced to steal every Rody mascot from the 100 yen store at Aeon!", which really shocked the whole class. That wasn't bullying at all, it was a crime. So Honda was doing whatever she wanted.

What's more, Sakurai-kun was trembling as he said, "They said if I didn't do it, the four of them would take turns hitting me..." and I couldn't help but cheer him on in my mind, "Nice fight!" It was so scary. This is Reiwa era Japan, right? Forcing people to steal and threatening them with violence is just too bad.

I can't find any words to describe how shocked I am to learn that such things were happening in my class without my knowledge. When Kato-san called me a child, he was probably referring to the fact that I was not aware of this.

So Honda shouted with all his might, "Shut up!" It was a soulful cry, an attempt to justify his actions. It was like a roar that contained all of his anger. Honda's scream must have reached the entire grade on the same floor.

Everyone was surprised by the loud roar, and Torii-san next to him chuckled slightly.

"That's what humans are like," she whispered, and then, looking around the class, tears had already welled up in her eyes and she spoke, "Everyone, please don't blame Honda too much."

"Do you think there's a reason why this happened?" he asked, walking towards Honda, who was still standing there, and took her hand.

"If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know. I want to help you."

This is a threat, right? You know Honda-san can't say it.

Honda could only nod and say, "Hmm..." at a loss for words.

Unable to look Torii in the eyes that were wide open straight ahead, Honda bowed her head...and was unable to say anything back.

"Right, everyone?" Torii-san asks, looking around the class with a perfect smile. Everyone nods along. Even Mr. Morohoshi!

"I think we all share some responsibility for things turning out this way. Let's all support Honda-san! Okay?" The Honda-san who had dominated the class with sheer energy had already disappeared , and she had become a poor Honda-san who had been acting wild for some reason.

Everyone's eyes were fixed on Honda with pity. This is... the outcome that Honda feared the most, right? This is the outcome that he feels the most miserable about right now, right?

Honda-san in front of me had a lost expression on his face and just looked down at the desk.

"Oh well, there's nothing we can do about it this time. Well, it's his own fault..." Kato said, sighing next to me.

"Maybe I really picked the wrong person..." he muttered, turning to me with a wry smile and shrugging his shoulders.

The class was like a one-man show for Torii-san. The whole class was mesmerized by his every move.

She looks like Oscar from "The Rose of Versailles," a favorite of my mother. It feels like we're heading straight for the French Revolution.

Professor Nakajima, with tears in his eyes, nodded along to what Mr. Torii said, and even ended up applauding.

The situation seems to be resolved amicably, leaving Honda's miserable feelings behind.

I did feel a little sorry for Honda, though. Seeing this ending, Kato, who was sitting next to me, summed up, "You really shouldn't start a fight you can't win. You have to think about it carefully before you get started, otherwise you'll end up with a disgusting result like this." Then, he turned to me and said, "I learned a lot," as if to impress me.

Only Honda-san stayed behind to meet with the teacher, and we were all sent home.

"Is Honda okay?" Nakagawa asked Torii, worried.

"Well, I think it's time for an adult discussion, but I wonder how much Nakajima-sensei can do?"

"That's true, I wonder how much more that dad can do..." Kato muttered, nodding.

Honda's father becomes violent when he drinks, but he is usually a quiet and kind man. His behavior has gotten worse and worse since his mother left.

I understand what you mean. My dad has been depressed ever since my mom passed away.

Kato's mother apparently said that adult men, like fathers, have a hard time changing their feelings .

Moreover, Honda's mother is still alive, so his father would definitely want to meet her.

I can't be a mother either, but I want to see Pee-chan as soon as possible. I think I would do anything to make that happen.

That's right! I'm sure Honda-san also wants to see his mother, right?

Especially since she only took the older brother. I'm sure the mother had some reason for it, but it must be lonely for the one left behind.

I mean, I can't bring myself to hate my mom or my dad, but I can't forgive my mom for abandoning us, and my dad for being violent when he gets drunk, and I think I'd find myself feeling resentful. If it were me, I'd love them, but I'd also hate them. I wouldn't know what to do about that. Is that why I could only do things like that?

Bad things are bad, but somehow I feel sorry for Honda. This incident made me think again about my feelings of not wanting to be seen as pitiful. Humans have a lot of different emotions at the same time. They're all jumbled up and you can't separate them clearly. I've always tried to reduce my thoughts to simple things like sadness, joy, frustration, and happiness. Because I thought it was too much of a hassle to use my brain. But I feel like I can't keep going like that any more. Until now I've only thought about myself, but I want to try to face the environment around me, or at least the small world I belong to, without turning a blind eye to it. That's what I think.

Is there anything I can do this time too? How can I understand Honda's feelings? What would Torii do in a situation like this?

As I looked at Torii-san's profile as he walked, looking straight ahead, I wondered if there was anything I could do, and the reality was that I currently had no power whatsoever.

"You're getting so excited it's annoying me, Mom!" Kato suddenly blurted out, as if she'd just remembered something, on the way to school.

"My mother was close to Honda's mother, so she consulted with me when I was leaving home."

Apparently, Kato's mother and Honda's father got into a physical fight at that time. That's something I can imagine.

"They were saying things like, 'You're an alcoholic !' It was really embarrassing."

Apparently, Kato's father stopped them while crying. I can imagine that too.

"Haha, that sounds like Kato's mother," Torii said with a smile, and Nakagawa and I couldn't help but nod in agreement.

The parents quickly found out about this bullying incident, and it seems to have become a bigger problem than expected.

On the night of the incident, Nakajima-sensei, who had driven Honda home, was also beaten and had dark red bruises on his face.

Of course, it was Honda's father's doing, and everyone clearly knew it, but no one said anything.

But did the area around the eyes really discolor that much? "It's like watching a manga," Nakagawa said, laughing. I couldn't look Nakajima-sensei in the eye properly because it looked like he was in pain.

Apparently, when they arrived at Honda's house, his father was already drunk and there was no discussion at all. Apparently, Kato's mother and neighbors heard loud yelling and stepped in to stop them. After that, a heated argument broke out between Kato's mother and Honda's father, and Kato said with his hands raised in exasperation.

Oh, Honda-san? Honda-san herself is at school. However, Nakajima-sensei thought that it would be difficult for her to move on immediately after what had happened, so she is doing her homework in the nurse's office.

But, this is just my imagination, but I'm sure Torii-san will go to Honda-san's place.

To finish him off? No! To save him.

Knowing Torii-san, I don't think he'll just leave it at that.

As expected, when lunchtime came around and Torii-san came back from the bathroom as per his usual routine, he said,

"Everyone, why don't we have lunch at Honda's place?" Kato and I nodded silently and stood up.

"Huh, why, why?" Nakagawa asked back, and Kato began to forcefully finish his lunch . "Hey, I'm already eating," Nakagawa said, hurriedly following the other three, spoon in hand. As they walked, he kept complaining about not having enough time and about his game books. Of course, the other three completely ignored him.

Honda was eating lunch alone in the nurse's office. He was surprised when we entered, but didn't seem too annoyed. The four of them then continued eating lunch together at a large table prepared by the nurse, but as usual, no one was saying much. Nakagawa was silently eating his lunch, along with Torii's share, as usual, while Torii, who wasn't eating lunch, was still munching on his cereal, little by little.

"You don't get bored every day, do you?"

"Yes, it's fine!" Kato and Torii always have the same conversation. It's funny.

I have a lot of likes and dislikes, so I end up leaving a lot of side dishes.

But Torii-san won't let me! The meal isn't over until I've finished it all.

"You look like your mother," Nakagawa says,

This is just a normal conversation.

I understand that Torii is doing it for his own health, but it feels a bit unfair that he doesn't eat the school lunch himself and yet forces me to finish it all.

I'm sure if I had a mother, she would find this a bit of a hassle. I know it's for my own good, but...

So, once the meal is over, we disband as usual.

I usually look for books to borrow at the library.

I promised my dad that I would read at least one book a week. He said that he didn't read much and regretted it when he grew up. It's the same with studying English. He said that because he didn't read books, he couldn't read deeply into things, and even though he wanted to read as an adult, it seems that he still couldn't read very well.

That's why I was told to develop the habit of reading from an early age.

So far, the promise is being kept smoothly.

Torii-san also gives me advice on choosing books.

The books that Torii-san recommends are almost always good. They are mostly fantasy, but many of them are so exciting that I can get absorbed into reading them.

Torii-san seems to read a lot of foreign books in English, since he was in Australia.

I wonder if Torii's astonishing amount of knowledge has been cultivated from such experiences. It's really hard to believe we are the same age.

After Nakagawa finishes eating, he usually goes to the classroom to read game guides. In fact, he spends most of his break time reading game guides.

Apparently, if his mother finds him reading it at home, she'll give him some nasty comments.

Apparently they say, "Your test scores aren't good, but you're always reading game books!" They seem to be constantly criticized.

Nakagawa-kun always makes a really unhappy face, but my dad and older brothers never say anything unless it's really bad, so I think that just shows how much they expect from me. Oh, I say really badly, when he got 15 out of 100 on his math test he did sigh and scold him, but I think his dad seemed more sad than angry, giving off a disappointed vibe.

Nakagawa-kun's older sister is apparently doing very well in her first year of junior high school, so he really didn't like being compared to her.

Apparently Nakagawa's sister and my brother are in the same class, but when I told my brother about it he just gave me a cold response like, "Yeah, maybe." Even if two brothers get along well, it probably doesn't really matter to my brothers. Maybe it's because they're not the same gender? It can't be helped.

My brother also said that when they reach junior high school, boys and girls suddenly stop talking to each other for some reason. Is it the adolescence thing? Apparently there's no particular reason for it. That's kind of annoying. I want to stay friends with Torii and Kato like this forever. Even now, they're both the type who don't talk more than necessary. Even when we're all four together, Nakagawa seems to do all the talking.

However, because they don't talk casually about things that don't matter, every word they say carries weight. I can understand every single one of them.

Will there ever be a day when I can catch up with them?

Kato-san sometimes calls me "baby" which is really rude.

So, after mealtime was over, we were about to leave the nurse's office.

"What? I heard that..."

At that moment, Honda-san said in a small voice, "Thank you..." while looking down.

I think it was the first time I heard "Thank you" from Honda's mouth. Kato's eyes were wide open.

"See you tomorrow," Torii said casually, and quietly closed the door to the nurse's office.

It may be difficult for us kids to change ourselves, but it seems it's hard for adults to change themselves. Who are we talking about? Of course, we're talking about Honda's father.

Since then, Nakajima-sensei has been to the house many times, but it always ends up in an argument. It's not really an argument, it's more like Nakajima-sensei is the one who gets punched.

Honda's father is a fisherman, so he gets up early in the morning but finishes work in the evening, and by the time Nakajima-sensei finishes school and arrives at Honda's house, he's already drunk. So there's no way they'll have a serious discussion. Not only will they argue, but they'll always end up hitting each other.

We're counting the number of scars on Nakajima-sensei's face. Before, Nakajima-sensei's face looked like a chubby, droopy panda.

Oh, I didn't say that. Nakagawa said it. Well, she's rather cute. But every time I go to Honda's house, her face changes.

"It's getting more and more impressive..."

Kato muttered sympathetically.

Torii is also worried, saying, "I wonder how long it will last."

If this continues, it won't end anytime soon.

Honda has two older brothers, one in fifth and one in sixth grade. Her older brother, who is in his second year of junior high school, moved out with their mother, so he doesn't live with them anymore.

They both look just like Honda-san, and are big and sturdy, so everyone calls them Gian No. 1 and No. 2 behind their backs. That makes Honda-san Jaiko. Nakagawa-kun said this too.

It seems that the father's corporal punishment or violence has become so obvious that the school can't let them live in the same house.

The three of them are staying with their father's older brother, who lives a short distance away. I wonder what they would have done without their uncle. It's really hard for children to survive.

The three of them take the bus to school, and I'm a little jealous. It's a seven-minute walk for me, so I'd like to take the bus and see for myself.

Honda must be worried and probably doesn't have time for that.

But what do you think? Of course, Honda doesn't like being hit, but deep down, I think she's worried about her father, who's been left alone.

Maybe she doesn't really want to leave him? I'd probably think the same if I were in his position. I don't want to be criticized, but I think I'd be more worried about my father than myself.

Drinking alcohol every day is definitely not good for your health.

Is there no way to reset myself again? I could just quit drinking...

When I talked to my brother about it, he said it's hard to quit. It seems people really do get addicted to a lot of different things. Like gambling like pachinko or going shopping for a drink. Even adults can't resist it, and it's now considered an illness.

Apparently, if we play games or watch YouTube all the time, that can also be considered an addiction.

It certainly doesn't look like we'll be able to stop anytime soon.

Torii-san said that before, right?

When you say "This is what humans are like...", does that mean you can't stop even when you know it's wrong, or you do something anyway even when you know it's wrong? No?

Anyway, it takes a lot of willpower to break that addiction!

I have a very weak will, so if I become dependent on anything, it could turn out to be a disaster. I have to be careful from now on.

But at this rate, it's unlikely that Honda's father will be able to quit his addiction so easily. I wonder if there's a miracle cure out there? If things continue like this, it seems like Nakajima-sensei will end up giving up.

The incident happened suddenly on a day of heavy rain. It was the end of the rainy season, and the rain was coming so hard that it seemed as if the people were desperate for it all to just fall. The rain was in high spirits, and many people were probably thinking, "Enough already?" It was a 100% humid day, just before the start of summer. Rainy days aren't as refreshing as sunny days with shining sunshine. We kids can't play outside, and adults seem to feel depressed, or rather, gloomy, on rainy days too. But I love rainy days!

Kato hates rainy days because he can't style his hair. He says he really hates having naturally curly hair, just like his father. When it absorbs humidity, his hair expands uncontrollably and becomes curly. To those around him, it may not seem like much, but it bothers him so much that he even considers skipping school. He also says he wants to live abroad during the rainy season because he feels depressed all day if he can't style his hair properly. Torii told him that Australia is dry, so he wouldn't mind his curly hair. He says his dream is to get a straight perm as soon as he enters junior high school.

A straight perm costs an average of 20,000 yen, so she's been saving up for it for a while now, and she'll soon achieve that goal. Kato-san is really determined.

The reason I like rainy days is because my dad bought me an umbrella on the third floor of Aeon. That umbrella is yellow, just like the color of Pee-chan's wings!

It's such a beautiful yellow color. When I use the umbrella, I feel like I'm with Pee-chan.

When I hold that umbrella, no matter how depressed I am, I feel a surge of energy. It's as if Pee-chan is cheering me on.

My brother told me not to, but I'd like to wear it even on sunny days if possible.

Recently, they've been talking about "parasol boys" on TV, and there are guys who carry umbrellas even on sunny days. I insisted on that, but he told me, "You lose things a lot, so it's better not to carry important things with you all the time." It probably sounded like a reason he'd made up after the fact, but I respected my brother, so I decided to follow his advice.

So on rainy days, I walk around with my umbrella on full display. I wake up early in the morning, and I don't even go into the classroom until the very last moment because I want to keep my umbrella on all the time. The whole school looks at me and laughs, but I don't really mind.

Come to think of it, Torii-san also seems to wear a lot of yellow clothing. The designs are slightly different, and sometimes they're skirts and sometimes dresses.

"It seems that yellow brings good luck with money."

Kato-san said, "My mother bought me a yellow beckoning cat the other day!" and said that it was because she wanted money to come into the house.

Apparently, Kato cannot tolerate placing the beckoning cat at the entrance, and half-jokingly says angrily, "I don't see any sense in it."

Nakagawa-kun said with a serious face, "There are a lot of yellow clothes, so the Torii family must be rich."

Kato-san and I couldn't help but laugh.

Torii quickly denied Nakagawa's words, saying, "That's not true! I just like bright colors."

But the lemon yellow A-line dress I'm wearing today also suits you very well.

"My mother only buys from Shimamura," Kato said, complaining that his mother had poor taste.

During a rainy lunch break, with everyone's thoughts hanging in the air, I was alone in the empty schoolyard, holding an umbrella and stepping along the steps.

That's because Pee-chan and I were dancing together. For some reason, everyone seemed scared and didn't want to come near us.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not really good with rain," says Torii, who seems to be hesitant about the rain.

But she said, "I really want to be with you."

At that moment, I suddenly noticed a very fat man standing at the school gate, both tall and wide.

"Ahhh!" I couldn't help but scream in my mind at the sight of its huge silhouette.

"W-Who is this?" I asked, handing him the note. The rain had soaked the note and the writing had blurred.

"Now, call Maria Honda, a third-year student," he said. Was he drunk? He couldn't speak clearly.

This is the rumored Honda's father! My heart is beating fast at this first encounter.

However, I had forgotten that Honda-san's first name was Maria. Well, Maria would be fine too . It kind of feels like Maria. As I was thinking this, an image of Honda-san's face, which looks a bit like Anpanman, popped into my head.

At that moment, Honda's two older brothers, Gian No. 1 and No. 2, who were in the fifth and sixth grades, came running into the schoolyard in the rain without umbrellas, calling out, "Daddy!"

"Daddy?" That's what she called him.

No, I guess "Dad" would be fine too. I feel like this is also "Dad".

"I'm sorry, guys. Please come back!" Dad would say to his older brothers.

But the two of them don't answer and just keep looking at the ground.

I couldn't bear to see them like that, so I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. When I thought about how painful it must be for them to not be able to be together even though they probably love each other, my heart started to ache and I didn't know what to do.

It must be so painful that it's hard to put into words how you can't nod your head in agreement with what your father just said.

The rain gets stronger, reflecting the feelings of the two.

"What are you doing here? Go home!" I yelled as I turned to leave, but Honda-san came running out of the nurse's office in the rain and shouted at my father. "Don't get involved anymore!" she cried.

What should I do, Pee-chan? I don't really know.

Even though I like him, I can't say "yes," and even though I like him, I have to tell him to go home.

"What should I do?" is all I can ask Pee-chan, who I'm holding in my right hand.

At first, the father begged the children to come home, but he began to get annoyed with the older boys who wouldn't say anything, so he grabbed the sixth-grader's left arm and pulled him towards him forcefully. But the older boy stood firm and refused to budge. He was crying and resisting. Then the father's face changed color, and he pulled the older boy even more roughly, then with his free left hand he hit the older boy across the face. What a shock! No, it was terrifying.

Honda tries to stop him by throwing himself at his father over and over again, but as if fired up, his father starts punching and kicking his brother, and it's the first time I've seen the violence escalate in real life.I was shocked, and I couldn't believe that what was happening in front of me was happening in the real world, so my mind went blank and I stopped thinking for a moment.

"This is..."

I've been scolded by my father before, but I never thought he'd get angry like this, trying to get his way through with force alone...his reasons for being angry were one-sided, and he never gave me a proper explanation.

When Mr. Nakajima noticed what was happening, he rushed over and tried to stop the violent father, but was immediately punched in the face and fell to the ground.

Mr. Kato, who had followed them, was caring for Dr. Nakajima, who had collapsed.

Before I knew it, I was crying along with Honda-san, trying to stop my father. I was desperately clinging to his leg.

I don't really understand, but I can't forgive him! I just couldn't leave Honda alone.

It was a complete mess. Dad's attack shifted from my brother to Honda-san, and then it was my turn. I thought, "I'm going to get hit! I'm going to get hit!" and prepared myself, ducking my head.

"That's just how humans are..." I heard Torii's voice whispering in my head.

Torii-san ran at an incredible speed in the rain.

He muttered something next to me and then snatched Pee-chan, which I had been holding in my right hand the whole time!

Then, with smooth movement, he circled behind his father, almost like he was circling through the air.

Torii hooked the handle of Pee-chan around his father's left leg and pulled it towards him in one swift motion.

With one leg caught, the father falls forward. If he keeps going like this, he'll be crushed!

Honda-san and I quickly ran, tumbling sideways. With a heavy thud, Dad's body fell forward onto the rain-soaked schoolyard.

Torii quickly folded Pee-chan and pressed the sharp end of the toy hard against the face of his fallen father.

The sudden flash of lightning caused everyone in the school to fall silent, speechless.

The movement was so fast that the fallen father just stood there in a daze, his mouth half open, unable to believe what had happened.

"What if I can no longer use my Pee-chan?" I thought to myself at that moment, and I sincerely prayed for Pee-chan's safety.

"Maybe it's time to stop being so dependent on kids," Torii-san said as he pressed Pee-chan against my face. Aaah, don't treat my Pee-chan so roughly! I thought, worried and in a bit of a panic.

Before he knew it, Torii had placed his father's right hand behind his back and stepped on it with his left foot, locking him in place so he couldn't move.

"I don't know what happened, but

You're not the only one who's suffering."

My father listened to Torii-san's words in silence with his eyes closed.

He returned my Pee-chan to me straight away, but the handle was chipped!

"Ahhh, seriously! My Pee-chan is broken."

At that moment, I really began to dislike Honda's father.

"I can't take it anymore! The rain will make my hair all frizzy! Nakajima-sensei, please walk by yourself," Kato-san said angrily, but he still patted Nakajima-sensei on the shoulder and they walked back to the classroom together.

"Ahhh, I don't really like the rain," Torii said, running quickly back to the school building.

Me staring intently at the handle of Pee-chan

The father and his three children lay motionless on the ground and stood there for a while in the pouring rain.

But the bell signaling the start of class had already rung!

In the end, Honda's father will be hospitalized for a while. Apparently he will be isolated there. Otherwise he will start drinking again. I still have a grudge against Pee-chan because the handle broke off. It was really hard to find the broken pieces and put them back together.

Apparently, my dad can come out when he feels better without drinking. Isolation means artificially confining someone and putting them in a situation where they can't drink alcohol. Because if they stay at home, they'll end up drinking anyway .

When I asked her about it, I found out that the main reason her father started drinking was because her mother had fallen in love with a young, handsome man at her part-time job.

Kato said that the important point is that the man is young and handsome.

When I asked, "Are good-looking guys like Korean stars?" she laughed and said, "Yes! A certain level is essential! If it's just another old guy, it's not dramatic at all."

Apparently, if the player is an old man like his father, the neighborhood mothers won't be as excited and their cheering will be much less exciting.

"But would such a handsome man fall in love with a mother with four children?" Nakagawa asked.

"You noticed something good about him," Kato praised Nakagawa, a rare gesture of praise.

Today is the day I've been wanting to make scones.

The four of us gathered at Torii's house at eight o'clock on Sunday morning.

Nakagawa-kun goes to cram school in the afternoon, so it's now from the morning. Nakagawa-kun is really impressive, going to cram school until Sunday. I sometimes do my homework and sometimes don't, and just thinking about studying at cram school on top of that makes me go crazy. Apparently Nakagawa-kun is the only boy, so they have high expectations of him.

I once asked my dad, "Why are you expecting it to be a boy?"

"Yes, when you put it that way..." my father said, and then he thought deeply for a while.

"I feel like the girls in my class get better grades. They're also averagely good at sports and are fast runners."

"Hmm," Dad thought further.

"I wonder why? I'll look into it next time," my dad said, and that was the end of the conversation. I trust my dad because even if he can't answer my questions at the time, he always looks into it and tells me later.

Depending on the question, it may be weeks later and I may have forgotten about it .

My older brother says that Dad doesn't have a wide range of knowledge, but he still praises him for still working hard. He does have the impression that he reads business books at home as if he's trying to get some kind of qualification. But when I notice him, he's snoring and falling asleep, and I've half given up, thinking that I've taken after Dad because I get sleepy in class or when I open a textbook at home, but since I'm not putting in any effort at all, I blame all my sloppy behavior on Dad, and I feel like apologizing, or rather, I feel remorseful.

But what is the difference between boys and girls? When I look at someone like Torii, I admire him regardless of gender. He's really strong and cool, and on top of that, he's super kind. He's the best.

So that's my theme for today.

"I'll have my dad and brother eat some delicious scones!"

Even on Sundays, my dad works hard,

My brother had to leave the house at six in the morning because he had a practice match for his soccer club, but he still prepared breakfast for me and my dad.

Of course, I'll clean up after them too, and support my brother. So, to show my appreciation for them, I'll try my best to make it so they'll enjoy it when they come home. If I learn today, I can make it at home, but I don't have an oven at home, so I wonder if I can make it in a toaster? I'm a little worried.

Kato helps out at her mother's shop, so she can make most of the sweets at the cafe!

"Isn't that amazing?" He's only in the fourth grade, but he's like a pro. I really respect him.

However, Kato seems a little dissatisfied with the low hourly wage. He says it would be better to increase the number of newspaper deliveries. When I heard that, I wondered, "Wait, how many elementary school kids in Japan are working two jobs?" But I honestly think it's quite an amazing thing.

That's why I'm excited to get a part-time job that pays me even more when I enter junior high school.

Torii told him, "You probably won't be able to get any part-time work other than delivering newspapers until you turn 15," but when he added, "But you might be able to earn a lot of money in the entertainment industry or through flea market apps or social media," his eyes lit up and he took the bait.

"Next time, I'll give you some advice, okay?" Kato said with a serious look on his face and shining eyes as he took Torii's right hand in both of his.

I imagined it. Kato-san was sitting at a fancy desk and chair in a room with a sharp, modern, and cool interior in a stately office building. He was wearing a bright, eye-catching pink suit. He was squinting and grinning at the pile of banknotes in front of him. Suddenly, he would burst out laughing, revealing his perfect white teeth. His laughter, so intense it was almost unbearable, echoed through the large room forever.

Isn't this a story that could really happen to Kato-san as an adult? It's a little scary, isn't it?

This is my third time coming to Torii-san's house. The first time was just to borrow a book, so this is practically my second time.

Kato-san and Nakagawa-kun are very curious because it's their first time here. That's because what they see is completely different from the living environment they've experienced up until now.

As for how different it is, my brother said it's about the same level difference as between a family restaurant and a high-end restaurant, but my brother and I have never actually been to a high-end restaurant, so to be honest, that doesn't really make sense to me.

Oh, the three of us went together once to the hotel where my father started working.

It's a hotel along the river that costs over 100,000 yen per person for a night's stay. I can't even imagine what kind of guests would be willing to pay that much to stay there. My dad was telling my brother in the living room that they could go there because he had an employee discount and they didn't have to pay anything other than the food. The food was probably on the same level as a high-end restaurant. But it was less than five minutes from our house, we saw the river all the time, and the food served was the same sashimi as the one at the nearby fish shop. Oh, and it looked nice, though.

"That's just how the world works!" my older brother told me, without telling my dad.

I think he also said that people's values are different, so even the same thing can be judged differently. Dad's job is to sell services, so customers pay for something they can't see. The high prices are because they provide the appropriate service; Dad and his team work hard to satisfy customers, and customers find value in that, so they end up paying a high price. I still don't really understand what value means. I don't have much to compare it to in my life. I think cheaper is better if it's the same thing, but when it comes to hospitality like service, it becomes even more unclear. Either way, maybe I still don't have enough experience. I feel like I'm lacking in everything. Hmm, maybe it's to the point where I don't even know what I'm lacking.

Torii-san's house is so beautiful, even from the outside. It's not like a normal Japanese house, it looks like a house in a foreign country.

It's just like the foreign houses you see on TV and in movies. And there's absolutely no fakeness to it like Disney's "we built this" kind of stuff. It's the real thing!

"So this is a 200 million yen house," Nakagawa said as soon as he entered the house for the first time.

"It's been more than 20 years since it was built," Torii replied to Nakagawa with a laugh.

"That's ridiculous! It's not 200 million yen, just the furniture here is worth over 100 million yen," says Kato, his eyes shining.

When Kato-san was opening his mother's cafe, he and his mother visited many interior design shops in Tokyo. His mother isn't interested in interior design and doesn't have any particular preferences, so he and his father discussed and decided on the design together. Indeed, the cafe is decorated in white and blue, which is perfect for the seaside, with vivid red accents, giving it a cute, marine-themed atmosphere. It looks great, so it's no wonder it's so popular on Instagram.

At that time, we decided to take the opportunity to visit some high-end stores that were not directly related to our shop, and we went to a shop that sells furniture here. "It's all super expensive Italian imports and the prices are unbelievable. This dining table alone would cost less than half the price of all the furniture in my cafe," said Torii, who was very excited about the interior of his house.

"My dad would be thrilled to see this! He might even faint!"

"Even a private home can have all of this."

Kato-san was so touched that he gave Torii-san a hug.

But what I find strange is something other than the house and interior being so lovely. It's that I've never met Torii's parents, and maybe they're away on business, but somehow, in this spacious mansion, there's no sign of anyone else living there. At first, I thought it was because the house is so big, but it's like there's no scent of life at all, or it even feels like the whole thing doesn't really exist.

When you walk through the gates of Torii's house, you can almost imagine being transported to another dimension.

"It's ideal! It's perfect!", Kato exclaimed, completely ignoring my doubts. "It's fantastic! No matter where you frame it, it looks good! In fact, I want to find a place where it doesn't look good," Kato's typical compliment made Torii's mouth turn up more than usual.

We opened the door to the sunroom, which was decorated with spotless white wallpaper, a white sofa, a chandelier in the center with a large table underneath it, and even the curtains, all in a dazzling white and a pale ivory color, and stepped into the forest-like garden on the east side for the first time.

The thing that surprised Kato the most when he arrived at Torii's house was the size of the garden. His eyes widened as he realized that the garden alone was more than twice the size of his own house. "I guess you can't really tell from the outside, right? I imagined it would be big, but it's designed so that it's not visible from the outside, so I had no idea it stretches so far back from the courtyard. When a professional does it properly, it really does have such a wonderful balance," he said, crossing his arms and appearing to be convinced of himself.

What particularly catches the eye is the huge cypress tree that stands tall in the center of the garden, reaching for the sky over the three-story roof. The plum tree next to it is covered in plums so ripe that they look as if they might fall at any moment if the wind blows, enveloping the entire garden in a sweet fragrance.

The osmanthus and holly trees are so big they reach the second-floor balcony, giving the illusion of being in a forest even though you're in a garden.

"Dealing with the fallen leaves is a lot of work," Torii says with a wry smile, and it's true that the amount will be enormous when the leaves come out at the end of autumn. It really does seem like they'll pile up endlessly. It may look pretty from a visual standpoint, but it would be quite a busy job if you were in charge of the leaves.

Oh, in my house we have a system where we all have responsibilities. My brother is in charge of cooking, doing the laundry, and cleaning the toilet and the bathroom . I wash the dishes, vacuum the whole house, fold the laundry, water the plants...I'm also in charge of cleaning the entrance.

As for Dad...huh, maybe he's not in charge of anything. I just realized that Dad isn't in charge of anything. I'm screwed! There are only three of us, and I thought everyone was in charge, but Dad isn't doing anything! I'll talk to my brother about it when I get home today. But wait a sec! I wonder what he'll do? Dad seems like the type to do everything half-heartedly, to slack off for any reason, and to say that he doesn't do things because it's too much trouble.

You said before that it's better not to do something than to be done poorly. It really looks like that's what's going to happen, doesn't it?

When my dad comes home, he's usually asleep before I know it. Whether he's watching TV or reading a book, I can hear his snoring soon after.

But I'm sure your brother forgives all of that, right? I've decided to give up on my dad too. I don't help with the housework, but I do my best at my job. It must have been hard for my dad since he moved from Fukushima and had to do a different, unfamiliar job. That's right, I just have to do my best for my dad. It's that simple!

"I'm going to make a lot of money in the future and live in a house like this!" Kato declared loudly.

It's typical of Kato that she doesn't get married or anything, but rather works and earns money on her own.

"I'm sick of living in a small, boring house like ours," says Kato, apparently deciding on one of his goals in life, but to me, his house seems larger than average. Still, I'm a little envious of him being able to articulate his goals for the future.

"Hehe, it might look a little different, but I'm sure it will come true," Torii said, as if talking to the large cypress tree in the garden.

"Really? You really think so? Thank you! Now I'm suddenly motivated," Kato said, his face brightening up as he pumped his fist in a powerful fist.

"That's enough. I don't think I need any more motivation," Nakagawa said, probably thinking the same thing, and as we made eye contact, we both shared our feelings with a faint smile.

"It seems like this kid can see it too. Yes, I tell him to just keep going if he gets lost," Torii said, smiling slightly at Kato. In response, Kato's face quickly turned bright red . I thought Kato's reaction, which he doesn't usually show, was really cute.

"Okay, let's get started. I've got all the ingredients ready in the kitchen," Torii said, signaling us to return to the sunroom.

I was so excited that I couldn't hide my excitement. I was looking forward to it! I couldn't help but smile as I hurried down the hallway to the kitchen.

The scones turned out great!

Dad likes it softer, so I made it a little moister. For my brother, I added his favorite chocolate chips, nuts, and dried raisins.

Maybe I'm being too generous? But I'm sure he'll be happy. Big Brother has club activities on the weekends too, and he'll be hungry when he gets home from there. I'd be happy if he could eat it while waiting for dinner. If it's well received, I'll make it every week.

After finishing making the scones, we divided up the tasks of cleaning up and then lined up the scones we had just made on the kitchen table. "They look delicious!" Kato and Nakagawa said in unison.

After the sound of knocking on the door, the butler Kuroba came in with tea.

Although he's a butler, he's probably still in his late twenties. He's over 180cm tall with long limbs that seem to be stretching his limbs, and his slender, vertical figure is just like a model you'd see in a magazine.

"He's seriously cool, isn't he? He's the most handsome man I've ever seen since I was old enough to understand," Kato says, passionately asserting that she's so happy just to be close to him that she's "willing to die right now!" While drinking the tea Kuroba has made for her, she even says, "I'm so happy I might faint."

"We use tea bags at home, and the taste is completely different depending on who makes it," Kato said, encouraging us to agree that the tea Kuroba makes is the most delicious in the world.

"They do all the detailed work at the store, so a pack is enough at home, right?" Kato said, impersonating her mother.

Kato's mother always seems energetic and funny, doesn't she? If I had a mother like that, every day would be fun. She seems to laugh at even the smallest things.

would probably say with a smile, "OK, OK! I'd be happy to switch places anytime!"

Kuroba-san will be taking care of everything in this house. That's apparently what a butler does. In English, it's called a "butler."

Torii says that this house wouldn't function without Kuroba. He can honestly express his feelings by saying, "I'm always grateful," so I'm really impressed by how amazing Torii is. Even if I feel that way deep down, it's hard for me to express it to my older brother. Because I like him, I even do mean things to him. Hmm, I guess I'm childish. I hate myself...

Kuroba-san, as her name suggests, always wears all black clothes. She has a great figure, so it suits her very well.

"You only wear black, but don't you want to try on clothes in other colors?" Nakagawa muttered, to which Torii replied, not Nakagawa himself, "Yes, I guess it's because it's easier to choose if you wear everything black." Kuroba just stood next to Torii, smiling silently.

Come to think of it, I've hardly ever heard Kuroba-san talk. I don't think he can't talk like me, but maybe he's just extremely quiet. It just makes him all the more mysterious and alluring.

Also, Kuroba-san doesn't quite wear sunglasses, but he always wears glasses that are quite dark in color.

He lost the sight in his left eye due to an injury, so he has a prosthetic eye? I think that's what it's called.

Still, she has the most beautiful face of all.

It was Kato who described her as beautiful. Of course, I also think she has a very beautiful face.

Also, and this can be said about Torii-san as well, I think the two of them share a certain aura that's hard to describe. Of course, they have beautiful faces and great figures, but more than that, there's something about them that draws people in. What is it... I can't really explain it.

That's right - I'm sure even if he was surrounded by thousands of people, everyone would be drawn to Torii-san.

I think that's how impressive it is.

But this isn't something you can achieve through hard work, I don't think I could do it even if I stood on my head. Maybe that's why I admire it so much.

"Wow, seriously!" I exclaimed, my head filled with surprise, my eyes wide open and my mouth wide open. To my surprise, my brother had brought home a girl I'd never seen before. In fact, it was the first time he'd ever brought a girl home. It was a Saturday afternoon, and it seemed his club activities had finished early, so I thought he'd come home earlier than expected, but it turned out he was back with the girl.

What is it... a girlfriend? No, it's fine.

It's only natural now that your brother is in middle school, and it's not cool if he's not that popular, so it's better for your younger brother to feel more secure and happy if he's reasonably popular. Right?

"Nice to meet you, Aonami-kun? I'm Inoue Mei," the woman called my name without my permission.

I was so confused by the sudden appearance of this girl I'd never seen before that my whole body froze! Seeing me completely petrified, she gave me a wry smile and patted my head.

When my brother said, "Oh, he's very shy," I thought to myself, "I'm so pissed off!" and made a complete 180-degree turn, sprinted, and ran to my room. I didn't know what to do.

So, after reflecting a bit and calming my mind a bit, I decided to investigate the question in my own way.

Why can't I at least say hello normally? I know it's not a bad thing that my brother has a girlfriend, but I can't be happy about it. It just makes me feel uneasy. Why does it make me feel so uneasy?

Even though it was unexpected, why can't you just have a normal reaction?

I'm sure you'll get a girlfriend someday, and that's only natural, but I want you to always be my big brother. I want you to be the big brother who's only kind to me, and I don't want anyone else to take you away, right?

I never expected things to stay like this forever, or for someone else to come between me and my brother. Maybe I was too comfortable with the idea that our relationship would continue forever.

The sudden appearance of the girl was such a shock that I couldn't do anything about it, and it made clear the possessiveness I had towards my self-centered older brother.

Maybe they sensed my feelings? Instead of going inside the house, they sat on the side of the parking lot of the apartment building across the street. It was a spot where I could see right from my room!

What's more, the two of them were eating the scones I gave them...

"What do you mean? I can't forgive this! I only gave it to you, big brother," she thought, feeling a bit remorseful for a few seconds, but her anger welled up inside her again.

I sneakily peeked through the gap in the curtains so they wouldn't notice.

Hmm? Maybe they've noticed? My brother and the girl are looking at me and laughing.

"I'm so mad! I'm going to ignore you for a while!" I won't forgive you until you apologize to me properly. I've decided to completely ignore you!

The next morning, of course, I completely ignored my brother.

Huh, Dad? You were so happy with the scones I made. You said they were absolutely delicious! You said they were good enough to sell in a shop! Maybe you were praising me a little too much... It's like you heard the reason why I was in a bad mood from your brother, and it felt like you were trying so hard to please me. And you were laughing when you said it. Hmm, that just makes me feel even more annoyed.

"That makes you a nasty mother-in-law!" Kato-san said to me on the way to school, which took me by surprise.

Kato couldn't help but laugh as she said, "I feel so sorry for your brother."

It seemed as though Torii and Nakagawa, listening to the exchange, were also trying to hold back their laughter.

Actually, I know that too. But it happened so suddenly that I didn't know what to do. I wasn't mentally prepared.

My brother is my brother, and that will never change, but he is also my independent self, Mukuki Nagi, so even though I understand in my head that my brother is not just an entity but an individual called Nagi, somewhere deep down I still believe that my brother belongs to me.

Even when Kato-san told me, "It's about time you let your brother go," there was still a part of me that couldn't agree.

Shocks come suddenly. That's because you don't expect them, and the further away you are from your imagination, the greater the shock. I've been thinking lately that even if you haven't lived for decades, things can happen in life that make you go "Wow!" When I told my dad this at breakfast, he just looked serious and furrowed his brows without saying a word.

At the end of the first semester, on the night of the closing ceremony, the unbelievable news suddenly came to me, no, to us . It was an unpredictable turn of events, and I'm sure even Kato-san, and Torii-san were shocked. Or rather, to say we were saddened and depressed might be the right way to put it.

Nakagawa-kun, who was always cheerful, has now passed away, leaving behind only a letter.

"What? Really?" I screamed in my head! When I received the call from Professor Nakajima, I couldn't believe my ears.

Summer vacation started tomorrow, and on the days Nakagawa-kun didn't have cram school, the four of us - Kato-san, Torii-san, and I - had made lots of plans to hang out together. I'm sure Nakagawa-kun was looking forward to it too... "What on earth happened?" I couldn't think of any reason why he had disappeared in a storm. I borrowed my brother's smartphone and quickly contacted Kato-san.

"It seems like he really has disappeared. He was feeling down yesterday because there were fewer 'good' responses than he expected," Kato replied in an extremely fast email, which made it clear how worried he was about Nakagawa.

"On top of that, the results of the cram school test were due out today, so it was unusually dark out," Kato speculates, suggesting that this may have been the reason.

"I didn't notice..." I asked myself in my mind. I mean, I always get "Let's try a little harder"... I thought maybe Nakajima-sensei made sure not to put too many "good" words in the fortune slips. My older brother told me that the fortune slips at shrines have a lot of "bad luck" written on them. Apparently they don't put "great luck" or anything like that in them to keep people from letting their guard down. So I thought that's why he put in so many "Let's try a little harder!" words to motivate people.

Ah, so that's why every time I show my report card to my dad, deep wrinkles form between his brows.

I always say, "It's my child, after all..." That's a troubling expression that makes you feel like, "What should I do?" That's what I realized for the first time.

I was so excited about having the day off the next day that I probably didn't notice what was going on around me at all.

"The Nakagawa family is so dedicated to studying that they're making their child take the entrance exam for a private junior high school!"

"Junior high school entrance exams? I see, Nakagawa-kun, you're going to a different junior high school..."

"Nakagawa's older sister seems to have good grades, and Nakagawa himself has said that his parents, especially his mother, have high expectations of him."

So that's an option? I thought we'd be together forever, but it's true that things can't stay like this forever.

I've never thought about taking exams before, so I'm confused by the sudden reality that has come up.

"I'm going to go look for him first thing tomorrow morning, so meet me in front of Nakagawa's house!"

"I come over to Torii's house in the morning. There are no phones or smartphones there, so I can't contact them."

Torii's house only has a computer, so the only way to communicate is to send an email, but neither Kuroba nor Torii seem to be the type to turn on their computers frequently.

Although I immediately replied "OK" to Kato's email, my mind was filled with thoughts of Nakagawa, who had disappeared.

I wonder where she is right now? If I were to run away from home, where would I go? Ah, my grandma's place. It's only a three-minute walk, so I wouldn't really feel like I'd run away from home.

But even though I was so close to you, I didn't notice at all. I didn't feel anything at all. I'm so sorry.

Nakagawa was always smiling, so I never thought he was worried.

I'm always only thinking about myself. I never notice how I don't pay attention to what's going on around me... I honestly hate myself for that.

I can't sleep because I'm thinking about Nakagawa-kun. Is he alone this late at night? He must be feeling anxious, and if it were me, I wouldn't be able to bear it and would burst into tears. Where on earth did Nakagawa-kun go...?

I could barely sleep last night, or rather, until this morning. I was thinking about Nakagawa-kun and it was already morning. I can't stop regretting my useless personality.

I couldn't sit still, so I was in front of Nakagawa's house by six o'clock.

Teachers, members of the local youth group, and even the police have been searching all night for Nakagawa, but he is still nowhere to be found. Where exactly has he gone?

Nakajima-sensei asked me if I had any idea, but I have no idea where Nakagawa-kun might go. I can't think of anything at all.

What do I know about Nakagawa?

When I think about it again, it doesn't make much sense.

Even though we were together almost every day, the more I think about it, the more blurred the outline of Nakagawa-kun seems to become. I guess I had become so comfortable with him being nearby that it was natural.

Now I regret that I should have listened carefully to Nakagawa's feelings.

After a while, Daisuke and the rest of the class gathered.

So we decided to split up and search, imagining places we might go: the school, the mountain behind it, the beach.

It's amazing how Daisuke can quickly bring the class together to make decisions and put them into action at times like this.

I think Kato's assistance is a big factor, but his quick and efficient instructions seem to cancel out his usual slightly arrogant nature. People have many different sides to them. I think all of this is due to everyone's concern for Nakagawa, which has led to a sense of cooperation between them.

I was planning to go to Kinomiya Shrine with Torii-san and Kato-san. A few times a week, after school, the two of us would play games in the grounds of Kinomiya Shrine for just a few minutes before going to cram school.

Before leaving, Torii said to Nakagawa's mother, "I'm sorry, but if it's not too difficult..."

"Did Nakagawa leave any messages before he disappeared? If so, could you please show them to us?"

Nakagawa's mother seemed very surprised, her eyes wide open and she was about to say something, but her mouth was still open...she froze. For a moment, it seemed like time had frozen. But Torii didn't take his eyes off the mother's face, staring straight at her and holding out his right hand to her chest. Only the inside of her eyes were spinning around at high speed. Ah, so this is what happens when politicians lie!

My dad said that this is what happens when you have something shady in mind or try to cover it up by lying.

After a short pause, Mom seemed to have finally regained her composure and gently placed a crumpled piece of memo paper from her breast pocket onto Torii's hand.

"I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I can't live up to your expectations. I'm tired. There's somewhere I want to go for a bit. I'll be gone for a while, so please don't look for me. I'll definitely come back."

Torii stares intently at the notes as if rereading them over and over again.

"That guy..." Kato said angrily, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea where you'd like to go?" Torii asked his mother directly.

"Uh," the mother stammers, shaking her head from side to side several times. Perhaps she has an idea but can't say anything, or doesn't want to say anything?

"I see," Torii said, as if he was thinking about something.

"Um, I can't seem to find your sister anywhere. Is she not here?" Torii said, but just as she was finishing up, her mother suddenly burst into tears.

"Aaaaahhh... Aaaaahhhhh..." It was the first time I'd ever seen an adult react like that. It was scary, a little scary. Everyone looked at each other in an unbearable atmosphere, trying to figure out what was going on.

Dad picked her up and she went inside the house. For some reason, I felt like the atmosphere was heating up, and I could tell from the looks on everyone's faces.

Torii seemed to have decided that he couldn't ask any more questions, so he ushered us out through the arch at the entrance, and he smoothed out the crumpled note paper, folded it in quarters, and put the note in the mailbox.

"It seems like there's something you find difficult to say," Torii said with a serious look on his face. "In that case, you should prioritize that over the shrine," Kato said, turning to Torii and nodding deeply.

Torii brings his right hand to his mouth and lowers his eyes as if thinking about something.

"I'm pretty sure Aonami's brother is a classmate of Nakagawa's sister, right?"

Come to think of it, that's right! I was in a hurry this morning and completely forgot about my brother. He's a traitor, after all.

So I borrowed Kato's smartphone and sent an email to my brother. I didn't really want to contact him, but I couldn't say that at a time like this.

My brother woke up this morning and panicked because I wasn't there. He said he was worried that I might have run away because of him. Apparently he's making rice balls for my breakfast now. Now that I think about it, I forgot to eat, and now I'm really hungry.

They say they'll deliver it quickly before you go to club activities.

Then, my stomach growled. "Have this if you like," Torii said, handing me a small packet of cereal that she always keeps on hand.

I handed the smartphone I was holding in my right hand back to Kato, opened the bag with both hands, and poured the cereal into my mouth in one go. "Cough cough cough cough cough," I choked, and Torii quickly took a plastic bottle out of her bag, held it over my mouth, and poured water into it. With tears in my eyes, I swallowed the cereal and thanked Torii for the water, and Kato and Torii looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"You're being too hasty! No one will steal anything, so take your time eating," Kato said in an exasperated tone.

"Because I was super hungry! And I've always wanted to try this," I thought to myself, and Nakagawa's face came to mind, wondering if he was out somewhere eating something.

At that moment, my brother came running over saying, "Hey, I brought it." I took the paper bag he handed me and nodded really small, intending to say "Thank you..." and he patted me on the head and said in a deliberately loud voice, "You're welcome! Looks like the period of being ignored is finally over," and we both looked at each other and started laughing again. I glared at my brother, but he started laughing too, so I ended up laughing too. I had no choice but to forgive him.

I'm fine with my brother now. I've decided that sooner or later I'll forgive him. He keeps messing around with me, so I sometimes get the answer wrong. The important thing is Nakagawa-kun's sister.

Thanks to their older brother, the three of them somehow learn the whole story.

I see... now I understand why when I asked my brother about Nakagawa-kun's older sister the other day, he seemed so hesitant to say anything.

The rumored older sister, who was extremely talented at studying, was now hospitalized. Since she became a junior high school student, she had hardly come to school, or rather, hadn't been able to come at all. The reason was that she had failed the entrance exam for junior high school and had become mentally unstable.

I got 25 points on a kanji test before summer vacation, and my dad sighed in amazement, but I thought I'd get even worse, not even 10 points, so I was actually happy and said, "Lucky you, you worked hard!"

When I told Nakagawa about this, he said, "That's great - if you can't study from the start, people won't have high expectations of you."

I was certainly annoyed at the time, but I guess that was just how Nakagawa felt. It seems like studying is surprisingly hard.

I have a habit of getting sleepy as soon as I do something I'm not interested in. The other day, I fell asleep during a kanji test.

Fortunately, Torii-san, who was sitting next to me, woke me up, otherwise I probably wouldn't have even written my name .

What is it? Is there something wrong with him? "He's my kid, so I guess that's just how it is," my dad says. But my older brother always seems to get much higher than average grades in both academics and sports, so I can't just blame it on genetics.

So, Torii-san agreed to help me with my studies in the mornings during summer vacation. My dad asked him when he came over to visit the other day. To begin with, our annual pattern was to put off our summer homework and then rush to get it done in the last week of August, and I would get mad and scream, "I can't do this! I'll never finish!", and my older brother, unable to bear seeing me like that, would end up doing most of it for me. That's because I wasn't interested in studying, or rather, the reality is that I didn't even know what I didn't understand. Even if I didn't understand, the lessons at school just moved on. From the start, Japanese education has never been kind to laid-back people like me.

That's right, her father has complete confidence in Torii-san. He praises her highly, saying that it's rare to find a girl who is both cute and smart! He also says that he wishes they had a girl. It's pretty creepy, isn't it?

Apparently, Nakagawa's older sister cut her wrist in the science lab at school soon after entering junior high school.

When they found him, both he and the floor were covered in blood. Fortunately, he was fine, but... "Ugh, that must have been really painful..." Just thinking about it makes my wrists hurt. And if I were to witness a scene like that, I'm sure I would pass out too.

"After that, Nakagawa's mother must have worked even harder to improve her younger brother's grades," his older brother said.

I'm sure Nakagawa-kun also worked hard to live up to his mother's expectations. Even when he was playing games with me, when the time came he would rush off to cram school.

Nakagawa is kind to everyone, so he was trying to do his best for his sister as well.

However, the more you expect from others, the more difficult it becomes when things don't go as planned. I've never really tried my best when it comes to studying, so I don't really know.

I can't force myself to do something I don't like. Or rather, I 've never tried so hard that I felt like I had to force myself. I wonder what that means for me as a person? Does it feel like it hasn't even started before it's over?

"Huh, wait a minute!" What exactly do I like? Hmm, I can't think of anything other than games and Pee-chan. And Pee-chan isn't even my favorite thing.

When I think about it, I might be the one most worried about the future.

Both Nakagawa's sister and Nakagawa himself worked so hard that they were worried, and they were worried because they faced the problem head on. I think people like me who stop worrying about the future from the start are the worst. I'm starting to worry about myself.

It broke my heart, but compared to someone like me who doesn't worry about anything, I'm starting to think that Nakagawa-kun's sister is definitely better. The more she worries and thinks about things, the higher her rank as a person seems.

But why do people have such high expectations of their own children? My dad always says, "It's my child, so it can't be helped!" And that's mostly me.

On the other hand, people say to my older brother, "How can you be so responsible even though you're my child?"

I once heard my older brother mutter, "Because I don't want to end up like you," in a voice so quiet my dad couldn't hear.

I'm sure your brother has strong mom's genes. That's great, I wish I had that. Is there anything he can do to change now? Your dad might be a nice guy, but he doesn't seem like the type to think things through too deeply, and he doesn't seem to have any friends even though he's from the same hometown. The more I dig into your dad, the more I imagine him to be like my own, and I've come to the conclusion that he's just like your dad. I guess I can kind of understand why your brother doesn't want to be like your dad.

"This hospital," Torii said, surveying the entire building as we stood in front of the hospital, which was smaller than a university hospital but about the size of an elementary school gymnasium, and whose exterior walls still had a fresh feel to them, so much so that it might as well be a hotel. It seemed the reason we'd been able to get there smoothly and without getting lost was because we'd been able to check the location properly on the map on our smartphone. In terms of stations, the hospital is located on the side of the mountain heading towards Izunokuni City from Usami Station, four stops from Kinomiya Station.

"It's in a pretty remote place, isn't it?" Kato said, adding that he often travels along the coast of Usami to get to Ito, but has never been to the mountain area.

"It's a hospital for people with mental illnesses, so it's located in a quiet place," Torii said, peering into the hospital's main entrance.

Oh, so that's how it is. But if it's too quiet, it might just get even weirder.

"It feels like we're being isolated..." Kato said, shrugging.

That's one reason. I wonder if the purpose is to change the environment? I think that's important for the person, but I also think that by putting people who have gone crazy in a place like this, it's to reduce the stress of the people around them.

When I see Nakagawa-kun's mother, I get the feeling that she just wants to pretend it never happened.

Oh yeah, it was my brother's girlfriend, Inoue Mei, who found this hospital. I think it was thanks to that woman. Torii-san and Kato-san had consulted with my brother about finding a hospital for Nakagawa-kun's sister.

It turns out that Nakagawa's older sister's only close classmate and his older brother's girlfriend were in the same class, and I managed to get the friend, who was reluctant to tell me, to tell me the name of the hospital.

Hmm, it does help a little. I'll give it a go this time. I mean, it did help in the end, but I still wonder why Inoue Mei was there.

My brother brought a bag full of homemade rice balls and sandwiches for me, and for some reason she came along too.

Maybe out of consideration for me, she was keeping her distance and staying quite far away, but it was obvious.

My brother made the excuse that she was the manager of the soccer team and her house was on the way, so they came together, but they definitely had an appointment, right? The distance between them somehow gave off that impression. My brother and his girlfriend waved at us together on the way home. Of course, I completely ignored them.

"Your brother must have a hard time, having to take care of your troublesome sister-in-law," Kato said in an exasperated tone, and Torii laughed along with him.

"Aoba, you really love your big brother," Torii said with a smile.

I couldn't show it in my actions, but in my heart I was waving goodbye to my brother and her and saying "thank you . "

"Let's hurry!" Torii said, and in front of him he saw a white imported car slowly moving towards us. Atami has many narrow roads, so people don't drive recklessly. Kuroba was in the driver's seat of the car, and he looked at us and nodded slightly.

"They've been waiting for you since this morning," he said, opening the back door for Kato and me so we could get in first.

Torii got into the passenger seat and told us that if they hadn't found him after all night, he assumed he couldn't be nearby.

And then he said, "Nakagawa-kun, despite how you look, you're surprisingly reliable, so I don't think this is unplanned." For some reason, Kato-san looked at me and laughed at what he said. Is that supposed to make him laugh?

"This is a Mercedes, right? Amazing! This is the first time I've ever ridden in one," Kato said, his excitement rising from his first experience in a foreign car.

"It has an incredible sense of luxury. It's a world apart from our Yankee-style van."

"I'll definitely make the money and get it someday!" Kato says, her fighting spirit once again filling her heart.

"I think Nakagawa has gone to his sister's house after all," Torii said from the passenger seat in the car, looking through the rearview mirror.

"From the looks of it, I think your sister is no longer a thing to your mother,

I don't think I even go to see him much."

He said that would be because it would mean admitting failure to himself.

"No way! Children are not the property of their parents!" Kato said angrily, holding the sandwiches his brother had made in both hands.

"This sandwich is really delicious."

"Oh, maybe it tastes better than mom's."

"What is this quality? I want to sell it in my cafe!" Kato exclaimed, praising the maid's sandwich with the eyes of a businesswoman.

"It seems surprisingly normal," Kato said, looking around the hospital entrance.

"I imagined it would be more like, you know, iron bars and you'd hear groans all over the place! Or patients wandering around like zombies."

"Maybe you've been watching too many foreign TV dramas," I thought to myself.

"Well, I guess it depends on the severity of the illness. It seems like most patients at this hospital have relatively mild symptoms," Torii said, lowering his voice because it was so quiet inside the hospital that only our voices could be heard.

"I wonder if the receptionist will let us through?" Torii asked, frowning slightly.

It really feels like one problem goes away, but then another one pops up.

Would they let three elementary school kids through a hospital with such strict security? No matter how grown-up-like they look, it's definitely not possible.

"Do you have something to ask Aonami-kun?" Huh, me?

"If that security guard goes somewhere else, I want you to keep the receptionist's attention in my direction," Torii told me with a serious look in his eyes.

"Just long enough for us to sneak in! Please!"

Instead of saying "Okay, I get it," I nodded my head vigorously, but I couldn't think of anything to do. Totally no ideas! I'll try my best though.

"This is where I show my courage!" I intend to do my best to break away from my unreliable image.

"Yes, yes, do your best," Kato said, suddenly pushing me on the back! What? I'm not ready yet! I thought to myself, panicking, but when I was pushed and ended up dancing in front of the receptionist, my tension shot up to the max. I felt like I was going to cry.

"..." I stood there dumbfounded, unable to speak. The receptionist glared at me with a very scary look on her face.

What should I do now? I have no idea. The receptionist looked at me with a clearly displeased expression as she remained silent.

I could feel myself shrinking back and trembling even more as she stared at me, asking if there was something I needed. "I'm so scared, I might pee my pants..." I could really feel the woman's frustration.

"Please let me use your toilet!" was the only answer I could muster. Instead of words, I tried imitating a bronze statue of a child peeing that I had seen on TV some time ago.

Without changing her expression or saying a word, she pointed to the edge of the lobby on the first floor, saying "Ah, yes, yes," as if there was stage directions written on it, with a look of complete annoyance.

I bowed deeply as if to say "Thank you very much" and ran straight to the bathroom. I was so embarrassed that I could feel steam coming out of the top of my head.

"Phew," I thought, wondering if Torii and the others had managed to get away. "Did I do it right? Did I accomplish my mission?" I asked myself these questions over and over in the bathroom during a self-reflection session, and although I'm extremely lenient with myself, I gave myself a passing grade: "Well done!". To myself.

So as not to arouse suspicion, I waited about five minutes before leaving the restroom, gave the receptionist a V sign to say thank you, and then left the hospital. The receptionist was as cold as ever, not even looking at me.

Kuroba had parked his car a little distance from the hospital, in a blind spot that was not visible from the lobby, and was waiting.

So Kuroba and I decided to sit side by side on a big rock next to the car and wait for them to come back with Nakagawa.

We were silent as usual, in the completely deserted and silent forest, the only sound we could hear was the gentle rustling of leaves in the wind, like a whisper. It was fine because Kuroba was with me, but if I was here alone, it might be so quiet I'd be scared. The occasional bird's voice made me warm.

I wonder if Torii-san and Kato-san were able to meet Nakagawa-kun? I'm sure those two will come back with Nakagawa-kun, so there's no need to worry. I trust them both with all my heart.

"You didn't seem to recognize me at first, big sister..." Nakagawa muttered in the car on the way home.

"When we were leaving, you called my name in a small voice..." she said, looking out the car with a face that looked like she was about to cry.

"Hmm, that's good!" Kato said, looking out the opposite window without looking at Nakagawa.

According to his older brother, Nakagawa's older sister became strange after she failed to get into the junior high school she wanted. She had been working hard since she was in the first grade of elementary school just to get into junior high school, so she was really depressed when she failed to get into the school she wanted.

Apparently he told his close friends in class that he wanted to change his mood and work hard to pass the high school entrance exam, but the one who was most depressed was his mother.

I don't know what my mother was thinking, but she suddenly started ignoring my sister. She treated me like I didn't exist, shut me out of her world, and erased my existence.

How could that happen? I think I ignored you for a while, which was just two days. I'm sorry.

Nakagawa says his mother has a "slightly extreme personality..." but I think his older brother would say the same about him.

"I guess he didn't want to accept the results," Torii muttered through the rearview mirror.

The stronger your desire, the more devastated you feel when it doesn't come true.

Hmm, I was happy thinking it was curry, but if the only side dish was a fried egg...I guess I might end up hating my brother too.

Then, my mother started to get obsessed with my younger brother, Nakagawa. It was so obvious that even Nakagawa wanted to scream, "Seriously?" That's scary, what an extreme personality he has - I'll have to be more careful from now on.

So, my older sister, who had become nonexistent, gradually became stranger. Eventually, she reached her limit and cut herself off from the outside world. It was as if she had pretended that her family, classmates, and everything else had never existed.

I see, so you cut it off yourself because you couldn't accept it. I agree, there are times when I want to reset everything too. When I forget my homework and have to go to school without doing it, I feel like resetting everything. Or rather, I fantasize about what would happen if school were closed due to a terrorist attack or something and I never had to go again.

After that, no matter what people around her said, it never reached her sister's heart. "I guess that's how she protects herself," Nakagawa said, looking out the window. Of course, their mother continued to ignore them, thinking, "We didn't even have a child like that in our home?" So if both Nakagawa and his sister inherited that trait from their mother genetically, maybe it's inevitable that they'd become a little strange. "Maybe it's the parents who get along," he said, laughing a little.

"This sandwich is delicious," Nakagawa said in the car as he ate it, trying to hold back tears. But maybe eating makes people feel better. Nakagawa, who looked tired because he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, was quickly returning to his usual self. We're still young, so our recovery is incredible.

Plus, your sandwiches really cheer everyone up. They're sure to be filled with your love for me.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Kato asked Nakagawa in a typical, clear voice.

"Well, I'm going to tell my mom... I'm going to study at my own pace!"

To which Kato responds with a slightly curt, "Hmm, is that so...", in a way that's typical of him, as if to say he's deliberately not that interested.

"Hey! Why don't we all go to the beach before we go home?" Nakagawa suggested, and the three of them were a little surprised but quickly nodded.

"It's nice weather, so it might feel nice," Kato said, louder than usual.

At the beach, Kato's mother, who must have noticed the situation, was waiting for them.

"Hey! Where on earth have you been all this time? Seriously! Everyone was worried about you," he said to Nakagawa, throwing a completely straight pitch just like Kato.

"My daughter would also try to go looking for it in the middle of the night, so it was really hard to stop her," he said, not trying to sugar coat anything at all, and Kato turned red in the face and pretended not to hear.

"Well, at least we got back safely," he said, handing us ice cream. "You guys, eat this and then go home! Your parents will be worried about you, saying all sorts of things!" he said with a big, crinkly smile.

Just like the last time we skipped school and came here, we sat side by side on chairs set up on the beach and ate ice cream. Counting the white waves lapping and retreating against the blue ocean stretching out before us, it was strange how the hustle and bustle of the moment seemed a lie. It really is true that even the smallest of things can turn into terrible situations... but everything has a cause, and depending on how you think about it, you can avoid things from going in the wrong direction. Even if you can't do it alone, if you look around, you'll always find friends who will help you. And if you use all the strength you have to do something for others, it may come back to you someday. That's how I feel.

Kuroba's mother is holding onto him and he can't leave the cafe.

"Wow, he's amazing! What a great guy!" His mother also seems to like good-looking men, and seeing her get so excited and excited just by seeing Kuroba-san, we were a little put off. It was funny though.

However, Kato glares at her mother with a frown on her face, saying, "How embarrassing."

For a while, the four of us just sat there in silence, gazing at the blue sea, just like we did back then.

So many things are happening. We may face unpredictable problems in the future, and we may be faced with disaster-level problems that will make us want to give up. It's scary.

But we can't just keep giving up. Even though I'm a bit of a drag, with everyone's help I'm sure I can overcome any difficulties I encounter.

Because our lives have only just begun.

"It's summer vacation! Summer vacation has started! A summer vacation where you don't have to go to school!" My dad is at work and my brother is away at club activities, so summer vacation has begun, where I can just lie in bed and play games all day.

The tension at the beginning and end of summer vacation is so different it feels like heaven and hell.

At the beginning, I feel so energetic that I could start dancing at any moment. I'm in such a good mood that I put a lot more strawberry jam on my dad's toast than usual and I even offer to make him some coffee.

Usually I think, "You should do that yourself!"

I think it's probably obvious in his attitude and expression. I can tell that he's a little scared because the way I treat him is so different.

What's more, even though I wake up reluctantly when it's school, for some reason I wake up super early on my days off! I get up at 4am and watch anime on Amazon Prime in the living room. I'm always in a completely different mindset, and I really wish someone would study it.

I feel so high right now that I feel like I can do anything. I might even say hello to my brother's girlfriend, "Inoue Mei!" I'm scared of myself.

This year, I'm going to be doing my summer homework at Torii's house until lunchtime. Every year, the last week of summer vacation is hellish, and I've been doing all the homework that's piled up during that week . Everything from independent research projects to diaries! There's no way I can do it, right? If I think like this from the start, I can see why my brother yelled at me, saying, "It's because you have no motivation!"

However, it always ends in the last week. My brother does most of the work though.

But this year I feel at ease because I have Torii-san with me.

My dad doesn't trust me at all, so he expects I'll leave most of my homework until the very end, and he always says that just thinking about the conversation between me and my brother at the end of summer vacation gives him a headache, which is really rude of him. To avoid that, I'd asked Torii-san for help before summer vacation.

Your dad always said that accidents should be prevented before they happen. Maybe he's read some questionable self-help book recently? What do you mean by accident?

My mother always told me that I could do it if I tried, so I never doubted that I could do it if I tried. In the end, I wasn't very good at it, I couldn't do it very well, I couldn't do it at all. I haven't even tried it, but recently I've finally come to realize that even if I did try, I wouldn't be as good as everyone else.

Because of their parents' distorted interpretations, children also misunderstand and end up evaluating themselves higher than they actually are.

When I look at Torii-san and Kato-san, I really feel that way. Nakagawa-kun, who I had imagined to be about the same level as me, is actually doing much better than me. If this keeps up, I'll be the one to fall behind.

To prevent that from happening, this summer I'm going to try and motivate myself for the first time. Because I can study at Torii's house, the environment is perfect. There are no games, manga books, or even a TV in the house, so I think I'll be able to concentrate on my studies because there's nothing to tempt me. Plus, I can't slack off because I'm with Torii. I want to show off a little to Torii too.

But after seeing that house, I feel bad for Dad, but our house looks like a big pet house.

It's small, and the neighbors are noisy. The houses are close together so all the noise from daily life leaks out. Even though it's small, it's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Why is that?

All rooms in Torii's house are air-conditioned, so even though it's so spacious, there's no mold or anything like that.

What's more, there are lots of rhinoceros beetles in the garden! It's truly a dream garden.

If we're not careful, Kato-san is planning to sell his rhinoceros beetles. He was really upset that he couldn't put them up on Mercari. We can't let our guard down at all.

Every day I get up early, pack my lunch and head to Torii-san's house, because Torii-san only eats that very bland cereal.

They're like the vampire clan in your mom's favorite shoujo manga. They only eat human blood and rose essence. That would suit Torii-san and Kuroba-san perfectly, though.

That's right, the tea Kuroba-san makes is delicious! I used to think that most teas tasted the same, but the taste is completely different depending on the type. Even I can tell the difference. Maybe it's because of the situation. I can't really imagine drinking tea in my own home.

But now that I've looked at studying again, I realize that I didn't even know how to study. Learning things I don't know is surprisingly interesting.

It's strange because I'm feeling more and more motivated to do it. I've spent most of the last four years playing. Or more accurately, sleeping.

But I had only read the books in the library, so Torii-san praised me for my reading comprehension. He said that if I just went over the basics, I'd catch up with everyone else in no time. My motivation skyrocketed, and I suddenly felt motivated.

Today, Torii and I are going to Kato-san's mother's shop for training. Kato-san usually helps out on Saturdays and Sundays, but it seems he's taking advantage of his summer vacation to study illustration. Well, more like manga.

Apparently he's going to train for ten days at a vocational school in Tokyo. They're going to have a training camp, so it seems like he's really serious about it.

Kato wants to become a manga artist. Of course, that's because he can make money if his work sells. In fact, being a manga artist is just a means to an end, with his ultimate goal being to become rich. And the rich person Kato has in mind isn't just your average rich person. He says that he's aiming to be in the top one percent of the world, so it's a high level of richness that I can't even imagine.

First of all, how much savings do you need to have to be considered rich in the general public? My Pee -chan savings is just one step away from hitting the 10,000 yen mark. My older brother got Dad to open a postal savings account for him, so I transfer the money there. If I keep it nearby, I'll probably end up buying games and stuff.

Even so, Kato-san is strong because he has a clear goal. I don't sense any hesitation whatsoever.

That's right, one room in the Kato house is like a manga cafe, and it's filled with tons of manga. I went there with Torii to borrow a book once, and the amount of manga was incredible. When I opened the door, the brightly colored spines of the manga, like a flood, hit me with such force that it was shocking. The two windows are walled with piles of manga, and there's barely any space on the floor to guide me through them.

It's difficult to walk on, like an animal trail, and if you don't keep a close eye on it, you risk knocking over the piles of books. Even with this amount, Kato seems to know where most of the manga are.

His parents, as well as his older brother who is a high school student, all love manga. Kato said that's why he's accumulated so much. "Recently, I've been trying to organize my collection, so I've been selling the books I don't read on Mercari," he said with a wry smile, adding that thanks to that, he's gotten really good at wrapping books.

Kato said that his favorite manga tend to be boy's battle manga like Jump, influenced by his older brother.

I'm reading some old girls' comics that were on my mother's bookshelf. I treasure them very much because they were left to me by my mother. Maybe that's why people say they're a bit girly? Ah, but my brother reads them too, but he's not like that. Maybe it's just a matter of personal traits?

So Torii and I will be helping out at the shop for a total of four days over the weekend that Kato can't make. We won't be getting paid. In exchange, hehe, we'll get a whole cake from the shop. It's amazing, a whole cake!

Also, I know I'd probably get scolded for saying they were left unsold, but apparently if there are any sweets that can't be served to customers because they're close to the expiration date, you can take them home! It's an unbelievable world.

I haven't had a whole cake since my mom passed away except at Christmas. She used to make it for me when she was still alive.

I'm so happy, I'll work hard for the cake. Torii says he doesn't want anything . Torii can't eat cake because it raises his blood sugar, and Kuroba doesn't like sweet things either.

Torii-san said his goal was to support me. It's great to have him with me.

"I'm looking forward to us working together," he said. I was burning with fighting spirit for my first part-time job, but I wonder if I still look a bit risky to Mr. Torii?

My job is mainly cleaning and replenishing the supplies. After customers finish eating and leave their seats, I clean up the tables and wipe down the chairs and tables.

Another important part of the job is to check and replenish the straws and stirrers that customers use to make sure they don't break.

But at first I was really nervous.

"Just take a deep breath and stay calm and you'll be fine!

"My daughter was also shy at first and afraid to appear in front of an audience," Kato's mother tells me, but the more she thinks about it, the more awkward her movements become, which makes her even more nervous and her movements become even stranger, falling into a mysterious loop.

Torii-san asked me, "Shall we clean up together?" Even though the customers weren't even looking at me, I still felt strangely self-conscious.

Maybe I'm being a bit self-conscious...

When a customer comes into the store, Torii and I take a deep breath together, welcome them, and then guide them to their seat. That's mainly Torii's job. I can't speak, so it might be difficult for me to serve customers.

As a store staff member, I want to say "Welcome!" in a cheerful voice, but... Customers don't know that I can't speak, so if they think I'm unfriendly and rude, it will be a negative for the store. Apparently, recently people have been writing nasty reviews on social media. Since neither Torii nor I have smartphones, it's probably a good thing we can't see the information. After all, we would have been curious and would have looked. So, I think it would have been very depressing if the reviews hadn't been very good.

In that sense, I feel like I've escaped death by not having the smartphone I wanted so badly. My selfish reasons can change the way I perceive the situation , and it was the right decision not to have one at this point. And knowing me, if I had one, I'd probably end up staring at my phone all day like an addict, so I thought I'd wait until I'd grown up a bit mentally before saving up and buying one myself. Apparently it's really expensive.

On my third part-time job, I was put in charge of working at the counter, taking orders and handing out products to customers. Most of the customers were regulars, so they seemed to know that I couldn't speak, and they might be the ones helping me out.

But isn't it amazing? It's like they're working at the store.

I was nervous because it would be a big problem if I made a mistake.

When I start a new job, I feel an incredible sense of accomplishment. It's such a joyful thing...

I wonder if Dad feels the same way at work? There's still a lot I don't understand, but I want to experience it little by little. Just as I was feeling positive and motivated, three boys who looked like they were in high school came into the store. They looked a little older than my brother, so they must be in high school, right?

He doesn't look like a delinquent at all, in fact he's more like a normal, rather uncool looking guy, but for some reason he doesn't seem very well-received. He's also very overbearing when ordering, I guess? He just gives off a bad vibe. "How do you think he becomes like that?" I'd like to ask him that too. "Did something bad happen at school?" Or something like that. Hmm, he seems like a bad guy.

The three of them were chatting loudly, and Kato's mother had warned them that they were bothering the other customers. They quieted down a bit, but then they started whispering about classmates who weren't there, and I could hear it all.

There are really all kinds of customers.

My mom says, "Because there are a lot of tourists, we have customers of all ages and nationalities. Maybe that's what's so interesting about the service industry!" But I'm still not used to it, so I don't have the time to think about it. To be honest, it's quite a shock.

Then, as I was clearing the table after the customers had left, one of the three high school students walked past me and caught his right foot under my left.

It all happened for a moment and I didn't really know what was going on, but the moment I felt something hit my leg, I lost my balance and spilled the tray I was holding , splashing the remaining water and ice on the woman sitting next to me.

Both the customer who was suddenly splashed with water and I, the one who did it, were shocked, and our minds went blank in a panic!

Torii-san immediately wiped the woman's clothes and belongings. I was standing there not knowing what to do, but Torii-san's actions prompted me to quickly start cleaning up the dirty floor.

The girl who was splashed with water was a kind person, and she forgave me, saying, "I'm fine. Please help me."

I caused trouble for the store and apologized profusely to my mother.

However, the three of them just looked at me, laughing as I struggled and panicked. "I understand, so don't worry about it," my mother told me, but I was surprised to feel a rare emotion of frustration well up from deep within me.

I thought, "I can't forgive them!" for their harassment, which I didn't understand for a reason, and their actions, which I really couldn't understand.

With tears in my eyes, I washed my face in the bathroom and forced a smile in front of the mirror. No matter how bad things are, I have to keep working until the end and not let it show! I can't just say I'm going home because something bad happened! I encouraged myself.

At that moment, Torii's short scream, "Ahhh," was heard from the floor.

I quickly left the bathroom and found Torii-san lying on the floor, hugging herself with both arms!

"My body..." she said tremblingly, and large tears fell from Torii's eyes onto the floor, spreading like small stains.

Even as I asked, "Are you okay, Torii-san?", I couldn't understand what was happening in front of me.

"It wasn't us! We didn't do anything!" the three of them continued yelling in a threatening manner to those around them.

Did those high school students touch Torii-san's body? Suddenly? Why? That's...

His mother immediately took him to the waiting room to rest.

"You guys! What on earth are you planning? What are you doing? Aren't you students from Minamiito High School in those uniforms?"

"We'll let you off the hook this time, but if you do it again, we'll call the police and the school!" the mother told the three girls in a loud voice, and the high school students left the store muttering complaints in tones that were still difficult to hear.

This is something that... girls have to face these kinds of dangers. It was a problem that I had never even considered, and it made me realize how difficult reality is, to the point that my understanding was overwhelmed and I felt like I was going to short circuit.

The incident did not end there. The entire exchange between the three high school boys and Torii was uploaded to a social media video site.

The video went viral in no time, with over a million impressions. In fact, it's still spreading and growing at a rapid pace.

The names of the high school students have been identified, and the incident has become not just a local but a national one. Perhaps one of the customers who was in the store at the time took the photo.

Their actions have drawn public criticism. Once a fire starts, it only takes a second for it to turn into a disaster-level fire. Perhaps someone close to them decided to go public for fun. Or perhaps they have some kind of grudge against someone and took this opportunity to get revenge, but judging by their behavior at the store, it seems like they have quite a few enemies. Either way, their detailed personal information is leaking out onto the internet, and according to my brother, it's nearly impossible for any individual to stop this. Everyone is eagerly waiting for someone to criticize, so it seems like there's a tacit understanding that once someone is chosen, there's nothing they can do until the fire burns out.

Even though it was their own fault, this was an unexpected and terrifying turn of events and I can't help but worry a little about their future lives.

Of course, the name of the school he attends has also been changed to Oven, and he has been inundated with phone calls of protest.

The images were eventually broadcast on TV. My dad saw it on the morning news, and for some reason he was pretty excited and emotional. Oh, my dad is a big fan of Torii-san.

"I will never forgive those high school students!" he shouted, his face red and his fists clenched.

My brother and I were a little put off by that, though we understand the sentiment.

However, I don't think he thought it would become such a big deal. I guess it's best not to cause too much trouble to others in your daily life. In the end, the consequences will come back to haunt you.

It was a really good lesson for me as a negative example.

Apparently, those three were brought to the store by their homeroom teacher to apologize.

Kato's mother said, "They've had a very painful experience, so I think the kids have learned their lesson. I don't want them to do the same thing again." The homeroom teacher who came with them said that the house they live in has been subject to constant prank calls 24 hours a day, a large amount of unordered deliveries, graffiti painted on the house with oil paint, and garbage scattered everywhere... What's more, it seems that the companies of the three siblings and their parents have also been identified.

Torii said, "Maybe she received more than enough punishment..." but it's still going to be a pretty unpleasant memory for the girl, right?

But with social media, information can spread so widely and so quickly. This incident really brought home to me how scary that can be.

But, another problem arose.

Torii's image was spread along with the excessive images of the high school boys, and became a hot topic for a different reason. At first, Torii's face was blurred because he was a minor and the victim, but the blur was removed at some point.

Even with the mosaic, everyone is still concerned about Torii's incredible proportions, and in the end, Torii's beauty couldn't be hidden even through the mosaic.

With the hashtag "A miraculous beauty has arrived! A once-in-a-thousand-year talent," Torii's photo spread like wildfire. Apparently, it's become a hot topic in her brother's class too.

"When I told them I knew my younger brother, all the boys at school asked me to introduce them to them, which was a problem," she said, surprised that she had been asked not only by students in her class but also by older students.

Well, I suppose that's what will happen. I want Torii-san to be just mine, so it makes me a little uneasy. Of course, it's unofficial, and she's not my Torii-san to begin with.

But when I see everyone suddenly getting excited, it's kind of boring. Ah, it's similar to the feelings of old fans who thought their idol was just theirs, but then feel sad when it becomes popular and famous. That's what I call oshikatsu.

Wait a minute! It was the same with my brother's girlfriend, but am I just too selfish and self-centered? I'm sure Kato-san would laugh at me if I asked him this.

After that , boys who don't usually come to the store started flocking in to see Torii-san. They ranged in age from elementary school students to adults, and there were even some who were much older than my father.

I guess everyone thinks they come to the store to take pictures of Torii with their smartphones or cameras.

What's strange is that even though they were very proactive in taking photos, most of the guys couldn't talk to Torii face to face. They were so nervous that they couldn't even look Torii in the eye, which revealed their shyness. I was able to nostalgically recall how I was like that in the beginning. I wasn't very good at socializing either, or rather, I was really bad at it, in fact I was really bad at it, no, even worse than bad, and I was depressed about my own mentality where I didn't even know how to interact with people other than my family.

It seems like such a long time ago now, but it's only been a year. It's kind of funny.

Even so, Torii-san genuinely didn't want to be photographed, so his mother banned photography inside the store. This only made things worse, as self-proclaimed photographers would follow Torii-san around from outside the store, carrying cameras like paparazzi around foreign celebrities, on his way to and from work. This made Kato-san's mother, Torii-san, and I realize that people get even more excited when things are forbidden.

Torii's fans would post pictures on social media, which would spread the word again and again, and before you knew it, the "miraculous beauty" was being featured in various media outlets.

Torii-san has been contacted by all sorts of media outlets, from the Atami Shimbun newspaper to major fashion magazines, TV, model agencies, and talent agencies, but she has clearly turned them all down. I feel a bit relieved when I hear that, so I guess I just want Torii-san to stay my Torii-san.

Torii is depressed that his regular customers are no longer able to enter the store, saying that it is his own fault for causing trouble for the store.

"Oh, it'll be fine! The online excitement will be gone in no time. Everything will go back to normal soon. Don't worry, don't worry," Torii's mother said, laughing heartily at her doubts.

"However, this has never happened to me... They say that lookism is a big deal, that a person's worth isn't determined by their appearance, but beauty really is the strongest thing!" Kato said with a laugh.

"But one in a thousand years means humans don't live that long... what does that mean?" Torii asked Kato with a serious look on his face.

"Ahhh," what a surprise! A miracle had happened! I'd finished most of my summer homework in the first half of the year. It was a world apart from past summer vacations. That hellish last week felt like a lie.

"Illusion" means that the summer vacation up until now will be treated as if it never existed. It will be wiped out in a second.

For the first time, I think I was able to prove to my mother that "if he tries, he can do it." And I owe it all to Torii-san. I seriously couldn't have done it on my own. It's true that I'm a little too easy on myself.

Now I feel like I'm starting to understand, even if just a little, the joy of studying, and I'm going to be motivated from the start of the new semester.

Also, the reason I worked hard to finish my studies is because there was something I really wanted to try.

It's the first time in my life! I'm finally going to try swimming in the ocean, something I've always wanted to do!

Up until now, my dad had been telling me not to go because of my heart condition. I was worried that if something were to happen and I caused trouble for those around me, it would be terrible, so I had actually given up halfway.

But ever since I moved to Atami, which is by the sea, I've always had a secret longing for the sea. What would it feel like to entrust my whole body to that blue world? What would my consciousness be able to see when I became one with the sea?

Also, I'd love to try running through the white waves at least once.

When I consulted Mr. Torii, he said, "Yes, let's do it little by little."

Up until now, I didn't have anyone I could call a friend, so I didn't have anyone to go with me. My dad doesn't have time because of work and God, and my brother has all these plans with his friends, so it seemed like he didn't have time to hang out with me, so I somehow found it difficult to ask him.

My dad totally approves of anything Torii says. I think he probably trusts him more than I do.

In my dad's eyes, I'm still a baby. I think he has the same image of me as he did when I was a newborn. He's so overprotective.

But this summer, Torii-san, Kato-san, and Nakagawa-kun will finally join us after cram school and the four of us will go to the beach!

Yay, I'm looking forward to it! I'm so excited, I can't sleep at night. I honestly can't believe this day has come.

When you first see the ocean, you'll be overwhelmed by its weight, which you can't understand just by looking at it, and its vastness, which seems to go on forever, making you dizzy.

When I thought about my own tiny self, I felt a sense of relief as I felt the presence of this big blue organism, sharing the same consciousness. I feel like I'm just a tiny part of nature, nothing more, nothing less, and if I could become one with it all, I might be able to resonate with the consciousness of the Earth. That's a bit of an exaggeration, though.

However, the waves are surprisingly strong. If you're not careful, your feet will get caught and your body will be swept away. I can't swim, so I'm a little scared. No, I'm not just a little scared, I'm actually quite scared.

But I'll do my best because Mr. Torii will teach me. First of all, I started by putting my face in the water.

It's not easy to do that. I just can't seem to get rid of the fear.

"Take your time," Torii told me, even though I couldn't even put my face above the water. Torii was really patient with me. He didn't show any signs of being annoyed. If it were the other way around, I think I would have given up a long time ago. If it were me, I can imagine losing my temper at an early stage.

So to live up to Torii-san's patient teachings, I try my best without giving up. I motivate myself in my mind by saying, "I'm sorry, please wait a little longer," and try again and again.

I can tell that both Kato and Nakagawa are subtly trying to accommodate me, so I want to do my best for them as well.

I'm still a little scared of the ocean, but I'm surprised at how much more positive I've become.

I want Torii to see that I'm gritting my teeth and working hard, rather than giving up easily and saying, "That's good enough!"

I keep repeating my mother's words in my head over and over: "You can do it if you try! You can do it if you try!"

I'm slowly getting better at swimming and feeling more confident, although I'm still struggling with breathing.

Once you have a little more time, you can start to see the fish in the sea. There are lots of cute fish swimming around in schools. It's like a dream to be able to have such an experience. It was something I couldn't have imagined six months ago.

Oh yeah, I've also been invited to a barbecue party hosted by Kato's mother. For some reason, my dad and brother are also there. Plus, it seems Inoue Mei is coming too.

"If we're going to do it, the more people there the more lively it will be!" is the policy of the organizer, Mr. Kato's mother.

"Make sure you bring Kuroba too!" Torii's mother had emphasized to him, but Kato said that this was probably the main purpose.

There's a barbecue area about 300 meters away from the restaurant, on the edge of the yacht harbor.

We got together there after closing the store.

On the day, there ended up being about 50 people, including the store staff and their families. It was kind of like a festival and it was fun.

We also did watermelon smashing! Kato-san's mother let me try it too.

I'm trying my best, but my dad and Nakagawa-kun are getting in the way by saying careless things.

But Torii's voice tells me the right place.

I can hear it clearly.

Torii-san's voice mixed with my father's words guides me.

"Yay! It cracked right open!" Thanks to Mr. Torii. This might be the first time I've had such a fun summer vacation.

Up until now, during summer vacations, I've hardly ever gone out except to visit my mother's grave. So I've either been playing games at home or reading books at the library. Other than that, I've mostly just been sleeping at home.

But even though it was so much fun...maybe I got a little too excited?

I wonder why... my chest hurts. It's been hurting for a while now... it's getting hard to breath... I don't think I can stand up.

Maybe God is being a little mean because we're having so much fun.

My chest hurts for some reason, but my mind is becoming hazy... I can't organize my thoughts...

"Aonami, pull yourself together!" I heard Torii shout, and I began to feel increasingly uncertain, until I could no longer think about anything.

"Aoba-kun! Aoba-kun!" But Torii-san's voice keeps repeating in my head, like the waves lapping on Atami Beach.

"Thank you, Torii-san," I really wanted to say while I was still conscious. No, I thought I had to say it. Because, you know, I might never be able to say it again.

I wonder if I can put "thank you" into words right now? I hope I can convey "thank you Torii-san" clearly.

When I woke up, instead of my usual messy room, I was in a small, bleak room with almost no color.

I quickly realized, "Oh, I'm in a hospital bed." I'd been hospitalized several times since kindergarten, so a hospital bed was a familiar place that was stored in my memory.

I think the first thing that came to mind was "I'm still alive." Or rather, I think my honest feelings were "I still want to live, I'm okay to live, I'm so glad."

Until now, I hadn't really cared about disappearing from this world, and I had thought I'd accepted the fact that I was gone. But, after I became friends with Torii-san, Kato-san, and Nakagawa-kun, I started to feel lonely about no longer being able to see the people I loved. Before, I thought maybe I'd be able to see my mother and sister again if I died, so I didn't really mind dying.

My brother said with a frown and a rare serious look on his face that I had been asleep for two whole days and was in danger at one point.

My doctor told me that Kuroba immediately drove me to the hospital after I collapsed, and that Torii continued to massage my heart in the car to revive it, which was effective in saving my life.

"What the hell! How could this happen with you there? That was a close call. Please be more careful from now on," the father was apparently scolded by the teacher .

The truth is, it's all my fault. I didn't listen to my dad and acted too fast.

Also, I was having so much fun that sometimes I forgot about Pee-chan, who I was so worried about every day.

I wonder if Pee-chan was angry too? Maybe he got what he deserved.

"Sorry, Pea!"

But, you know, Pee-chan came to see me while I was sleeping and helped me.

Was it a dream? Or was it a dream? I remember what happened while I was asleep as vividly as if it had actually happened. That's really unusual for someone as forgetful as me.

At that moment, my consciousness became chaotic, and I thought to myself, this is when I die. Then, everything froze, and everything around me - essentially my environment, my mind, my heart, a rough concept - went completely white and became almost transparent, and I thought, "Ah, this is how I'm becoming nothing, I'm finally going to die."

Suddenly, I found myself alone in a pitch black room. There were no lights on, and no matter how hard I squinted, it was just pitch black and I couldn't see anything. Maybe this was the entrance to hell or something? I started to get scared, and even though I screamed as loud as I could, there was no one there and no response. I was just in pitch black darkness. I panicked and almost cried, wondering what to do, but it was so dark that I couldn't even move. I realized, I'd only ever had the idea of going to heaven, but was there a chance I'd be rejected by my host and sent flying in a different direction? I was astonished at how high my self-esteem had been up until then. I was like, "I'm going to heaven!"

Then, all of a sudden, the surroundings began to shake, and the black darkness swelled like a rough sea, forming a single whirlpool with an incredible explosion, trying to swallow me up and wash me away somewhere. "I knew it! This is the pattern for hell," I thought, feeling like I was spinning inside a washing machine, my head was dizzy, nausea was building up inside me, I couldn't breathe any more and I was on the verge of losing consciousness...

"Ouch, uh, uh, uh, Pea bit my ear!"

I can hear him yelling "Pee-chan! Pee-chan! Pee-chan!" over and over in my ear. That's what Pee-chan calls me when he's angry.

The spiral spun even faster, my consciousness became hazy, I could n't think straight, and just as I started to think, "Maybe that's enough..." Pee-chan bit my earlobe really hard to keep me from falling asleep.

But at first, I tried my best too...

"I'm sorry Pee-chan, I think I can't do it anymore... I can't even breathe..."

"I'm kind of tired... I guess I can't keep my promise to find Pee-chan. I'm sorry... Pee-chan," I said as I said goodbye to Pee-chan. "Goodbye Pee-chan..."

That's when it happened! Someone's hand grabbed mine tightly and pulled me with a very strong force!

"Don't fall asleep! You mustn't fall asleep," Torii-san, wearing yellow topaz wings, thrusts himself into the vortex, grabs my hand and tries to pull me away from the black darkness.

"Don't fall asleep!" Torii shouts, his wings torn off and red flowers of blood spurting out from them.

The black darkness continued to gather momentum. It engulfed my body and Torii-san, who had come to help, and spun faster and faster, trying to get somewhere. Then, in an attempt to eliminate Torii-san, an alien element to the darkness, a wind filled with murderous intent like that of a ferocious beast attacked Torii-san from behind. Torii-san's beautiful, shining feathers fluttered in great numbers, sparkling brightly.

"Uh," Torii let out a yell.

This darkness itself has consciousness.

"Ugh, Kuroba please," Torii said,

Kuroba-san, who had large black wings attached to him, began throwing his body into the darkness with incredible force.

He keeps ramming into them over and over again, until Kuroba's black feathers are torn off...

"Stop it! Don't hurt anyone because of me anymore!"

"Don't give up!" Torii said, and then he groaned as if he was putting all his strength into it, and pulled me out of the whirlpool with great force.

When I came to, I was in bed with several thin tubes attached to my body. I regained consciousness, but I wondered what it was all about. Of course, I was referring to Torii-san in my dream.

It had beautiful yellow feathers that were just as beautiful as Pee-chan's. They were so beautiful that I nearly lost consciousness, but I couldn't help but stare at them in awe. Even in the darkness, they were so shiny that I could imagine their glossy texture .

Even after waking up from the dream, the feeling of Torii-san's hand holding mine still remained vivid for some reason. I can still clearly picture the glow of Kuroba-san's left eye illuminating the pitch-black darkness.

I think Pee-chan was calling out to the two of them when I was in a desperate situation. If Pee-chan hadn't bitten my ear and woke me up, I think I would have been swallowed up by the darkness.

Thank you, Pee-chan! I'm always being helped by others. I give up easily. I feel so pathetic.

Also, for some reason, everyone was crying just because I woke up. I was surprised to see that my disappearance wasn't just my problem, and that there were actually people who were worried about me.

Apparently Torii-san was very apologetic to my father because I collapsed, saying that he might have pushed me too hard.

She apparently said to the director, "If you can use my heart, please use it!"

My father told me, "You don't need my heart for Aonami."

"Thank you Torii-san."

But it's all my fault. I actually knew about my heart condition, but I was having so much fun spending summer vacation with the four of us that I kept quiet.

If it was this much fun, I didn't mind my heart stopping.

If there was a God who could give me the happiness I have now in exchange for something, I would be willing to give up my weak heart because I was so happy and having so much fun.

If I get too greedy, bad things might happen, so even though I'm a little nervous, I thought it's okay as long as I'm happy now.

At that time, Torii-san rescued me from the darkness and I started to think about it in my own way.

"Don't give up!"

I wonder if the words I heard Torii-san say in that vortex of darkness were also the feelings of my mother, who died protecting me? That's what I think.

My mother sacrificed herself to keep me alive, so she wants me to live, right? She became my shield to keep me alive.

I think my mother would be sad if I became weak.

I still have a lot to live for her , the sacrifice she made .

I regained consciousness and was able to leave the hospital five days later.

The doctor said that once my heart starts beating again, there's nothing else to do. There are many other patients, and the doctors and nurses are busy, so it would be better for me to be discharged as soon as my symptoms subside.

There are children in the hospital who are younger than me and haven't even started elementary school yet. They have the same weak hearts as me.

Even though they were so young, they said they wanted to go to elementary school and would try their best, and I felt like I was no good. They were so young that they should be scared of the surgery, but everyone was smiling and cheerful. I think they were really overwhelmed with anxiety. Even though I'm the older brother, they were the ones who worried about my health.

I think I need to pull myself together a bit. That's right! My mother was pregnant with my little sister. In reality, I should have become a big brother.

My sister wasn't even born for me, so I'll do my best for her sake.

Because that's the only way I can repay you.

When I went down to the lobby, Torii-san, Kato-san, and Nakagawa-kun were waiting for me.

At first I tried to hold it in, but when I saw the faces of the three of them, the tears wouldn't stop.

I had decided that I would never cry, but it seems that's not the case.

Seeing me like that, all three of them started crying.

We cried for a little while, and then for some reason we started laughing.

Somehow, I feel like it's better for us to smile than to cry.

And so, the four of them, with tears in their eyes, somehow managed to smile.

I kept repeating in my mind, "Thank you" to those three people. "Thank you so much for meeting me."

I decided to start with what I can do. It would be no laughing matter if I rushed and pushed myself too hard and ended up causing trouble for everyone again, and the reality is that I can't become a superhero that quickly. It seems quick and easy to suddenly awaken and defeat a powerful enemy with the strongest legend, just like the boys in the Jump manga my brother reads, but it's not actually possible. If you could become strong just by having that kind of attitude, it'd be so easy! I realize that I say this a little negatively because I'm actually jealous of energetic kids. But I want to build up my stamina, even if just a little, so I'll keep working hard and steadily.

As a first step, I decided to start running early in the morning with my brother.

At first, my father was very against it.

But my doctor told me, "It's okay to run as long as you keep an eye on it little by little!" He also emphasized, "Just make sure you don't push yourself too hard!" but he also said that it would actually be better for me to run a little.

My older brother also persuaded my dad, saying, "It'll be okay, I'll run with you!"

So, for some reason, Torii-san ended up running with us. His father is very lenient with Torii-san, so he reluctantly gave his OK.

And so the three of them began their morning run.

Up until then, I had hardly ever run. The most intense time I can remember was when I desperately chased after Pee-chan who was being taken away.

The first thing that's important is to have the correct form. Just like swimming, it's the small movements that you don't notice just by watching that are important. I thought it would be easy, but it's actually surprisingly difficult.

Even when I run, I can't keep up with them at all. That's only natural. It's because I've been banned from doing so until now, and I've been telling myself that there's no point in comparing myself to others, so it's okay. Just being able to run in the morning is a huge improvement for me.

To other people, it may seem like I'm walking, but for me right now, this is as fast as I can go.

But even if it's not possible right now, if I keep trying like this, maybe one day I'll be able to catch up with my brother.

Now I'm happy just to be running. Just running gives me an incredible sense of fulfillment.

I wonder if Torii-san is worried about me? He keeps turning around and running. He's always waiting for me at the corner. It doesn't seem like much exercise to Torii-san though...

Before, I was too concerned about others and tried too hard not to cause them any trouble, but now I just do things at my own pace. I depend on Torii-san a lot, but I'm sure he'll forgive me.

But at first, my brother adjusted to me, but from the fourth day onwards he started going at his own pace without paying any attention to me.

Well, that's what makes him such an older brother.

Two weeks before the end of summer vacation, we have a three-day, two-night forest school trip. There are mountains in Atami too,

It's going further into the mountains in Gunma Prefecture, owned by the city. What's the point?

I hadn't participated even once since my first year. That's because my dad was worried that the change in environment would cause an asthma attack. Of course, he was thinking about me, so I couldn't tell him I wanted to go. Deep down, I really wanted to go, but I couldn't bring myself to bring it up. I was worried that I might be a nuisance to everyone... But this year, he said it was okay for me to participate.

I think it's because he runs every morning. And the biggest reason is that Torii-san is with him. My dad really trusts Torii-san.

The night before, I was so excited about my first sleepover that I was wide awake and could hardly sleep.

Because of that, I got motion sickness on the bus and threw up, but Torii-san helped me out.

Will it be my turn to help someone someday? Seriously, all I can do is sigh.

But why do buses make me so nauseous? I'm fine in my dad's car. Is it because of the sense of security? I asked Kato about this, and he told me that it's because of the amount of shaking, and that the semicircular canals in my ears get stronger as I grow, so I won't get sick when I'm a little older. That's a relief, because it made me think I'd never ride the bus again.

But even so, the school trip is super fun. It's all new to me, so I'm excited about everything I do.

We cooked rice in a pot and made curry together.

I also caught a freshwater crab for the first time! I felt sorry for it so I immediately let it go. Professor Nakajima said that it was possible to eat them, but I definitely could not do that. How could someone have come up with the idea of eating them when they were so cute ? Humans can be really cruel, can't they?

So I think we shouldn't catch more than we need, but when it comes to fried chicken and other processed foods, we can eat as many as we want without any hesitation, so that's a contradiction.

It's difficult, but it makes me think about it a little.

The thing that impressed me the most was the campfire, because you can never have one at home. We built it ourselves from the ground up.

I experienced a fire during the earthquake, but this is completely different.

At the time, I was just scared...

The campfire was beautiful. Of course it was impressive, and when I got close it was really hot, and I could feel images of the earthquake popping up in the back of my mind.

I felt that as time passed, the fear of earthquakes was gradually fading.

Memories are made to suit our needs. Perhaps the image we receive of the same item changes depending on the situation we find ourselves in at the time. Just looking at the flames of the campfire during recreational school trips makes me feel calm, excited, and even mystical beauty. I was a little moved! That's what I thought.

The only thing that was disappointing this time was that I wasn't in the same group as Torii-san. It was Nakajima-sensei's decision, so there's nothing I can do about it, but it did make me a little anxious.

I hadn't really talked to any of my classmates other than Torii-san, Kato-san, and Nakagawa-kun, so I was really nervous at first.

But I was surprised myself. As we started talking little by little, we found that we had a lot of common topics, like games and our favorite manga and anime. It's okay to just be natural and not worry about creating topics. I discovered that if I think about it too much, it can end up being awkward. You really never know until you talk to someone.

The problem was that I had to write things down, which inevitably slowed down communication. I assumed from the beginning that it would annoy people, which made things even more awkward. Now I've just accepted that I can't speak anymore, because that's the reality.

Suddenly, I noticed Torii-san looking at me with a smile. I was drawn in and returned the smile. Torii-san is like a real big sister.

During recreation time, our group leader, Nakamoto, suddenly suggested we do a test of courage.

Nakamoto-san is a bit of a delinquent and a very pushy guy. He gives off an air of being difficult to say no to. Is it because he uses a bit of rough language?

It feels like he's proceeding with the conversation on the premise of "I won't let you deny it!", which makes me wonder if he's mastered a conversational method where he doesn't listen to the other person's intentions in the first place. Maybe he's smarter than me.

I don't really get along with Torii-san because he says things behind her back that I don't really like. But it makes me wonder if Torii-san has that kind of personality.

Nakamoto's plan was to go to a bomb shelter dug during the war just past the forest to "test his guts."

Our group was supposed to go see fireflies. It was an event where local people would lead us to see fireflies and foxes.

I wanted to see fireflies. I've never seen any before. But I was too scared to say anything.

"I hope no one is scared," he said in a low, adult-like tone as if his voice had gone through puberty. Everyone looked at each other with confused expressions, but no one could say anything to stop.

Then, skipping their meeting with the locals, the five of them sneaked out of the noisy crowd in class.

As I followed Nakamoto down the dark mountain path, I thought to myself, "I bet Torii-san would be able to clearly say no at a time like this." I felt a pang of sadness in my stomach, but I couldn't properly put my thoughts into words, and I began to hate my own weakness. I realized that I hadn't gotten any stronger.

"Okay, let's say it!" I'll explain to Nakamoto that even if everyone else goes ahead, I don't want to go. With this in mind, I headed towards Nakamoto, who was in the lead, and as I took a step forward, being careful of the narrow mountain path, Shinozuka, who was walking in front of me at the back, screamed, "Ahhh, what is this! It's scary!"

It always happens suddenly!

After a loud, heart-stopping rumble, the ground began to shake so hard that it was difficult to stand.

"Oh no, it's an earthquake!" Nakamoto shouted.

No one can react to this unexpected accident. There's no time to even scream. Our legs freeze and we can't move. There's no way we can take realistic and ideal action in response to what's happening right in front of our eyes. The mountain seems to find us amused and is laughing out loud. And the laughter just keeps getting louder and louder.

When I remember what happened back then, my body starts shaking uncontrollably.

"Trauma..." the counsellor said when she lost her voice, frowning slightly and sighing. Such memories came back to her.

At that moment, a large number of stones were falling from the mountain slope, accompanied by a loud rumbling sound.

"Trauma? What the hell is trauma? Don't make me sick," I thought, and somehow I felt extremely ashamed of myself.

"That seems really stupid."

"How long are you going to keep thinking you're the only one who has to be pitiful?"

"You idiot, you idiot, you idiot from Aoba."

"It's about time you realized it! You actually know it, don't you?" I said to myself.

"Everyone run! Hurry!" I called out bravely, and everyone hurried back the way they had come.

"I can talk! I'm talking!" "I'm talking!"

But images from the past come back to me in my head: "It's definitely coming! The second tremor will be bigger than the first one!"

"It was the same last time. I felt relieved the first time, but then an even bigger earthquake wave came!"

As expected, the second big tremor made it impossible for us to stand, and we all crouched down on the spot.

I noticed an unpleasant crunching sound and looked up to see a rock several times larger than us approaching us at an incredible speed.

"Run quickly!" I screamed!

Just as we thought, "No way! We're not going to make it!", something came heading towards us from the direction we had come from on the mountain path!

Something was coming towards me, as fast as a bird, as fast as cutting through the wind!

Even though I was on the verge of panic, wondering "What is that light?", for some reason I couldn't help but squint my eyes and stare at the light, saying "It's beautiful..."

In the flash of light, I spot a familiar figure.

"Torii-san?"

Torii-san swooped down as lightly as if he had wings, picked me up, who was at the front of the group, and crouched on the ground.

"Ugh," Torii-san let out a cry. At the same time, the stone fell, crashing, making an eardrum-splitting noise.

When I came to my senses, I realized that Torii-san's left foot, which had been protecting me, was crushed under a large rock.

"What should I do? Torii-san's leg!" I immediately put all my strength into trying to move the rock that was covering Torii-san's left leg, but the big rock wouldn't budge.

The other five quickly joined in and pushed together, but it didn't budge.

If this continues, Torii-san's leg will get damaged! All this happened just because he was protecting me!

"Torii-san, please wait! I'll help you right away."

I head back the way I came to call the teacher.

Run as fast as you can! Even if you fall or stumble, run with all your strength!

I can feel my heart beating faster and faster, so I ask my heart to hold on a little longer. It's okay if this weakens my heart.

I would even give my life to save Torii-san.

Torii-san was willing to give his heart for me. Now it's my turn to help him!

Mom, Pee-chan, lend me your strength!

Right now, I'm going to put my entire being on the line to do my best to help Torii-san.

I can't let the pain in my chest get the better of me!

When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed again.

After that, the moment I told the teacher where everyone was,

I think I fainted. Not cool. This is my second time in hospital this summer.

My doctor jokingly asked me, "Would you go to school from here?" but I didn't find it funny so I completely ignored it.

When I asked my father, "What about Torii-san?", he hesitated and didn't answer me.

For some reason, neither Kato nor Nakagawa came to the hospital.

I felt a little depressed, thinking, "Why is this happening? Everyone is so heartless," but I forced myself to convince myself that the second semester had already started and it was my fault for not doing what had been planned in the first place, or rather, for not being able to stop myself even though I knew it was wrong, so maybe that's why they were so annoyed.

But to be honest, I have a bad feeling about this because no one is telling me anything about Torii.

So I forced my brother to ask.

My brother was reluctant at first too.

"Torii-san can no longer use his left leg. Fortunately, it only needed to be amputated below the knee..." my brother said, and then he left the room without looking at me.

Ah, that's right. Everyone else couldn't say anything about Torii-san...if they met me they would have to say something, so that's why they couldn't come to see me. I don't know what kind of face I should make when I meet Torii-san either. I'm scared to see Torii-san's left foot, just thinking about it makes my legs freeze. What should I say to Torii-san? How can I get him to forgive me? I have no idea.

What should I do from now on?

Torii's long, straight, beautiful legs will never return to their original state.

Why is it that his faster, more dynamic legs than anyone else's will never return to normal?

I want to go to Torii-san right away, but I'm too scared to move. It's my fault, and Torii-san should be the one suffering the most, but I'm too weak to face reality!

Even though I arrived at school a few weeks late after summer vacation ended and the new semester began, I couldn't see Torii-san at school.

Nakagawa told me, "School in Australia starts in September, so it looks like he's going back to Australia."

Professor Nakajima also explained that this had been the plan from the beginning.

so sudden that I couldn't really believe it. Before I knew it, Torii was next to me, and it had become a normal thing. I was confused by the sudden empty space. I also still haven't been able to say "I'm sorry" to Torii. I don't think apologizing will make it all go away, and no matter what I do, Torii's left leg won't return to normal. But apologizing is all I can do right now.

Kato-san and I went to the house where Torii-san lived because I felt that we had to meet before we left for Australia.

But strangely enough, the lock on the gate had been broken so we were able to get in, but the inside of the mansion was full of spider webs and there was no sign that anyone had ever lived there.

That lovely living room is still there, but it's dusty and doesn't look like someone just recently lived there.

"Torii-san is..."

Mr. Kato and I looked at each other for a while with puzzled expressions on our faces.

I returned home confused when I heard some familiar words coming from the balcony.

"Pee-chan, Pee-chan, Pee-chan", huh? That's the "Pee-chan" sound that Pee-chan makes when he's in a good mood and repeatedly calls out your name!

"Eh, Pee-chan? Is that Pee-chan?"

"It's Pee-chan! Pee-chan has come back!"

I quickly opened the balcony door.

There, Pee-chan's left leg was crushed and he was standing on the balcony railing with just his right leg.

"Pee-chan's legs..."

Pee-chan tilts his head slightly and looks at me curiously.

On the edge of the railing leading to the roof of the Kurumiya Apartments on that side, a crow with a crushed left eye was cawing as if talking to us.

It was as if the bird was singing to celebrate Pee-chan and I being reunited. I gave it a happy interpretation.

A completely autumnal breeze gently enveloped me and Pee-chan.

The crows continued to caw for a while under the pale purple sunset in the western sky, though I no longer had the ability to understand what they were saying.

Fin