****WARNING: adult content

Why are you here, Knock? Stop pestering me, you bonehead!

-----------------------------------------------------

My chest was about to explode. I couldn't bear it any more--that darn aching desire to have you.

The morning was crammed, scene after scene with Farm, Fai, Yihwa, and Cho. You did not speak to me besides the lines on-set, occasionally looked at me, then calmly diverted your eyes. So of course I was terrified when you reached for my wrist in the break room. My body jolted. Lying besides you in bed, even in front of Farm and Fai, I couldn't concentrate on the song. I tried to keep my eyes down, de-flustering from the contact you initiated minutes earlier. You seemed so carefree, which bugged me so freaking much, Knock!

I was worried shitless about the kiss scene. Accidentally pumped into you on my way to the restroom but I couldn't even make eye contact. I locked myself in a stall, heedlessly pacing the narrow space behind the closed door. I had to get into my character, but was also afraid that my real feelings would be exposed. So I decided to avoid looking at you until my character had to. Then, it would only be read as acting.

It was both horrifying and exhilarating to be standing so close to you for the shoot. Our eyes were glued on each other. Our faces were less than a hand's length apart. I could even feel your exhaled breath. I shivered as your fingers landed on my chin, touching my lips. You looked so damn fine and inviting. I really wished I could have you.

I heard your footsteps following me to the courtyard, but I was blushing so much I couldn't face you. I needed to calm down! When you fucking invaded my space with a grip, I couldn't take it, Knock. My body quivered too much. So, I had to harshly fling your hand off. You must have felt its shudders. Wasn't that why you withdrew your hand at the second attempt? You must have walked away in revulsion. Yet! Yet! Yet!

Heaven knows that I tried so freaking hard to get through that kiss scene. Your lips were so gentle and delightful. I almost couldn't stop. It was incredible to see your happy smile, after such a long time. I would trade the world to have it in real life, outside of your character. I wished I could indulge in that kiss longer, so I could avoid the dismay and misery of realizing that I would never have you in this darn life. It saddened me so much I had to step away. For the first time in my career, I had to ask the PD to postpone a shoot, through a text message, as I ran away.

This townhouse is so empty and gloomy. It makes me feel desolated. I am aching to the bones. How can the body get so much physical pain when a mental desire is unmet? This is fucking killing me. Even alcohol can't seem to help.

I sluggishly got up to answer the door bell, didn't even bother to adjust my clothes nor turn on any lights. I must have been unconscious for hours, physically and mentally drained. It could only be khun Saii, coming to berate my lack of professionalism at the set.

I unlocked the door without checking the attached security monitor, then walked into the kitchen for some water, carelessly awaiting khun Saii's high-pitched lecture after the door latched.

"Korn!"

I startled at your voice, spilling over half of the water from my glass, jumping backward to avoid getting wet.

"Why are you here, Knock? Stop pestering me, you bonehead! What do you want from me?" I angrily set my glass on the dinning table, dashing into the living-room to push you back outside.

"Korn, please! Let's talk." I heard desperation in your voice. Coming here alone, at this late hour, it must be very serious. A chill ran over the back of my neck. How can I escape from your resentment now? I had feared this moment for months on end.

I halted in front of my game station, hesitantly turning around to face you. Through the faint blue light of the Koi pond, I saw you covering in black from head to toes. Your black face mask was still in your right hand. You came here in discrete.

"I have nothing to talk about, Knock."

"But I do, Korn. Can we talk in private, please? I don't want HER to hear this."

"She is not here. We broke up a week ago."

"IS THAT WHY you have been so down and fussy? Putting on a stern face all day long?"

"Me? Being fussy? What the fuck do you know? You are the one who has been finicky! I have been walking on eggshells around you for days now. Kept looking at me with that calm, insouciant face, as if you don't fucking care about my existence."

"What are you talking about, Korn? How could I not care about you? I..."

"Don't fucking touch me, Knock!" I brushed your hand away.

"WHY CAN'T I, KORN? Do I disgust you that much, huh?" You sounded so angry and hurt, looking at me with such torment on your face. Your brows frown, your lips curled up, you appeared frustrated yet pleading. I couldn't grasp why you said such a thing. How could I be disgusted by you? It could only be the opposite!

When you turned toward the front door, I just instinctively sprinted after you, haven't figured out what to say, just hoping to keep you from leaving ... not with that hurt on your face.

I snatched your left elbow from behind, pulling half of your body backward in a violent motion. Losing balance, your right shoulder clashed on my left chest, pushing my back into the hallway wall.

You quickly shove my chest away with both hands. The black mask dropped. But I couldn't let go of you, knowing darn well I would lose you regardless. But for this moment, the fear of losing you in this moment is stronger than the fear of any aftermath. So I used all my might to restrain you in my embrace, gripping my right hand on left wrist till it hurt, pulling you closer with my upper arms muscles. I locked you in. Our heads rested on each other's shoulder, with forceful resistance, breathing hard. You couldn't move under my strength.

"Let me go, Korn." You let out a soft voice. I felt your body tremble once, then your breathing suddenly became quiet, your muscles relaxed, given up on the fight.

I loosened my embrace, still keeping you entrapped.

You backed away an inch, looking up at me, remaining quiet. Your eyes were full of pain and seemed astray. They appeared hateful yet pleading, as if you must run away yet unable to depart. Your glare was beaming through my pupils, penetrating my hopeless defense. I saw your character in you. I was hallucinating the fervent thirst in your eyes. You couldn't have yearned for me. I must be fucking losing my mind.

Helpless, I let go of my grip, dropping both arms. I felt my nasal cavity and tear ducts swelling up. The giant notch collected in my throat was so hard to swallow. I was unable to speak. I wanted to force a kiss on your lips, but afraid it would shatter you. I petrified on the spot, powerlessly looking at you, lest any move would mean the end of us.

"Korn, I admit that it is my fault to love you. But trust me, I had no intention to force anything on you. I am also in turmoil. I don't know what to do. But I promise I will keep it all a secret. No one else will know. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR GIRL. I swear! It pains me to see you hurt like this. I will go see her and explain. You can get her back! Believe me, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." You grabbed my triceps, lightly rocked my upper body, pleading with your consuming eyes.

You wouldn't know what went through my mind when you said the first sentence, Knock. I was so happy I thought I could die. You love me! You love me! You fucking love me!

So I couldn't bear to let you feel even another second of anguish, knowing darn well how it hurts. I pulled your shoulders back in and sealed your lips with mine. You were frozen, swallowing the surprise hiccup. But I couldn't let you loose, now, that I could have you.

My entire body was overcome with vigor. I pulled you in closer. My lips embraced a larger piece of your lips. I swallowed more and more of you, until you responded with fervor. So I kissed you with more passion and lust, wanting to suck your soul out, afraid that this would all turn unreal if I didn't grab a hold of it. I was kissing you with every piece of me, Knock, with the entirety of this raw and naked desire to be a part of you. You straight white teeth, your gum line, your tongue, your oral cavity, your saliva...I wanted every tiny bit of them. Your warm breath, your taste, your yearning lips completely dismantled my last line of defense. I was hungry for you.

But you abruptly stopped, pulling your head away. Even in this dark hallway, I could see your sparkling eyes drooping. "Korn, I am not my character. I really love you. So don't do this to me. It's too cruel."

My left hand reached for the back of your head, motioned to tilt your face up, looking deep into your eyes."Knock! You wouldn't know how long I have been loving you. I fucking love you. I love you! Since before you went to Wat Ban Den temple! She and I couldn't be together any more, Knock. Not when I love you like this." You immediately put your lips back on mine, kissing me with all your bursting happiness and desire. I could feel your smile through the kiss, your lips holding on to mine, your arms wrapping around my neck. Time stood still. I could live in this moment for eternity, if your lower body didn't brush over mine for that split second.

I was aroused. In this darkness, I could hear our rapid breathing. Our bodies were engorged with tension. I couldn't let you off me now, not for the whole damn world. So I kissed you with more eager, siphoning your passion into me, pumping my hunger into you. I kept drawing you in closer and closer, till I felt your hardened body pressing on mine, against the wall. I trembled, feeling your tremors. My hands found their way under your shirt, tightly stroking the bulking muscles along your waists downward. Your upper body twitched up in response. But again, you pulled your lips away from mine, resting your hands on my clavicles, aspirating fast to catch your breath. You looked up at me with questioning eyes.

I caressed your jawbones and lightly nuzzled you, with a smile, to reassure you. No word was needed. You and I knew. We are okay, Knock. I bent down to kiss your cupid's bow, your upper vermillion, your lip corners, the lip body, your chin, your jaw, moving down to your neck, slowly unbuttoning my shirt. Your body drew closer and closer to my lips. You bent your neck over to bite on the back of my bare shoulder. You are accepting me.

Slowly, I led us toward my bedroom door, taking off your black fleece jacket, then your black shirt, throwing them on the marble floor. You were still clinging onto me, sniffing my skin in the dark. I put you on the bed, sitting up over your pelvic, supporting my weight with my knees, reaching for the lamp switch. I couldn't fathom that we would have today, Knock, in my house, on this bed, with no cameras nor crew around. Like this. You smiled at me, saying a thousand words in just a glance. You looked so perfect. So I kissed you again, from your hair, your forehead, your brows, your eyes, your temples, down to your ears, your nose, your inviting lips, your chin, and all around your neck. Your arms grabbed onto me tighter and tighter. I could feel your body burning beneath mine. Your lower body moved as my lips and tongue fondled your protruding collarbones. Your neck extended backward, you let out a low moan. There goes your soft spot, Knock. I love that I can read your body's secret desire. I have had numerous dreams of this moment.

Your chest muscles stiffened as my lips brush over your sternum. Your nipples became erected. I cautiously placed my lips on your left chest, nibbling around your areola while my fingers were still teasing your clavicles, reading the response on your face. You kept yours eyes shut, brows lightly frown, biting your lower lips. I couldn't help but smile. Your body curled up as I moved lower and lower on your abdomen. Then you suddenly grabbed the back of my neck with a squeeze. I looked up. You were staring at me in dismay, shaking your head. You were afraid.

I sat up, fastened my eyes on yours, slowly unzipped your black jeans, gently touching the skin just below your navel, still reading your body and mind. A sharp impulse, you erected, still looking at me with worry. You are so damn cute, my puppy. You dared to confess your love to me without considering this scenario? That's why I have always thought of you as my angel. I have pictured this moment for months, Knock. I couldn't shake you off my mind, even when I was making love to her.

I lowered my body to hug you tightly, then pulled you up in sitting position. Our groins came together. My body tingled to the toe tips. You gasped for air, then shove me down on the bed with force, kissing me where I have just kissed you. I felt so contented. I can really die now without regret. You are so respectful and gentle, giving me so much pleasure in the flesh. Then you reached for the light, turning it off. The moment you stripped me naked, Knock, I knew that I would be in heaven tonight.

------******--------

Please leave comments! My apology for teasing you guys so much. Wait for the next chap, okay? :)

WARNING: Next chap will also have adult content.