I took a seat in the back of the class, quickly followed by June and Lori. June's bright red pixie looked dishevelled and her eye bags looked more prominent than ever. If I hadn't known better I would've thought she was hit by a bus. Truth is, she stayed up all night reading some eighteenth-century muggle book despite my multiple attempts to get her to sleep. Lori on the other hand looked bright and chipper, chatting away with a few other Slytherins in front of us. I could see why Elio chose to date her. She was very pretty, with doughy blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and a smile with slightly crooked canines, giving her the look of innocence. I unenthusiastically unpacked my book. From experience, the first days were always boring.

"Our teacher this year is so cute!" Squeaked Lori, turning to face me. "Quite noble too."

"Oh please, he's just a stuck up asshole from what I can tell." Groaned June from the table over, burying her head in her arms.

"Well have you read his books?" Lori huffed, "He has things to be proud of."

"A load of rubbish, I'll tell you that," June mumbled, clearly too tired to argue.

"Say, what do you think Y/n?" Lori turned back to me for support.

"To be honest I don't really know." I shrugged, not wanting to side with either one. "Never really looked into it."

"Elio and I read one of his books together over the summer." She sighed contently. "Simply magical."

I glanced at my old watch, it's tethered leather band sitting tightly on my wrist. The class was to start that very minute, but no sight of our professor.

"Welcome students," A booming voice rang out across the room, startling nearly everyone sitting in it, "To your 6th year Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts!"

The front of the class filled up with a kind of smog and out stepped a weirdly polished looking man.

"I am your new professor this year," He cleared his throat. "I'm sure I needn't to introduce myself as many of you are such loyal fans, but my name is Gilderoy Lockhart, recipient of the Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary member of the Dark Force Defence League; And," He flashed us a wide grin showcasing his perfectly straight teeth, "five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award."

Multiple girls in the class clapped, including Lori, who looked wholly enamoured. June on the other hand looked repulsed, and her top lip curled in a barely noticeable sneer.

"Humble isn't he?" I whispered to her, receiving a snicker in return.

"But I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" He stated diplomatically, a wave of laughter sweeping through the female part of the class.

"Great, we're stuck with this arsehole." June sighed quietly, rubbing her temples.

"He's not..." I struggled to say the words, "That bad?"

"Ah well, I see you've all bought a complete set of my books." Lockhart smiled jovially, clapping his hands together. "I thought we'd start off the day with a quick little quiz, nothing too bad, just a check-in to see where everyone is at."

When he handed out the papers and returned to the front of the class, he permitted us to look at the test. I felt my eyes widen as I read the following;1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour? 2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? 3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?I cast a sideways look at June, who too was staring at the paper incredulously.Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!"He gave us a roguish wink, that sent me into silent laughter, while June flared at him in disbelief. Lori on the other hand looked at him with great concentration.

~~~~

I gathered with my team in the common room early Saturday morning. We were to have practice earlier than everyone this year, and I was determined to crush Wood and his team this year as well. I explained the quidditch strategy on an enchanted board, with nicely animated squiggles representing the balls and players moving neatly along its surface. It only took me about 30 minutes to explain the basics, and to my surprise, none of my teammates zoned out.

"Any questions?" I asked, looking around at them all. "No? Alright."And so we were off to the pitch."

The sun shone brightly, but a thin mist still hung around the edges of the field. Much to my dismay, I caught sight of a group of Gryffindors leaving the locker rooms. I quickly mounted my broom and zoomed towards them, landing directly in front of Oliver.

"What are you doing here Wood." I sneered, looking up to meet his gaze."It's our quidditch pitch, I reserved it," Oliver said plainly, crossing his arms.

"Well so did I." I lied, slightly embarrassed I forgot to reserve the pitch.

"Hey wait a minute who's that?" Oliver looked at the stands, where sat a small boy excitedly clicking his camera.

"Dunno." I shrugged, my team now right behind me."Why's that first year taking pictures? I don't like it. He could be a Slytherin spy, trying to find out about our new training program." Oliver squinted at the kid, who waved in return.

"Who would want to steal a losers program?" I snickered. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that's a Gryffindor."

"You won out of luck." Oliver snarled, my words clearly hitting a nerve.

"The Slytherins don't need a spy, Oliver," George butted in before I could snap back.

"What makes you say that?" said Wood testily.

"Because they're here in person," said George, pointing.

All of us looked to where George was gesturing, and sure enough, several people in green robes were walking onto the field, broomsticks in their hands.

"I don't believe it!" Wood hissed in outrage. "I booked the field for today! We'll see about this!"

"HEY FLINT!" I bellowed, also confused and outraged at the Slytherin's presence.

"This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!" Wood shouted after me.

This caught the Slytherin's attention.

Marcus Flint was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning on his face as he replied, "Plenty of room for all of us, Wood."

Our teams came over to stand behind Oliver and I as we faced off against Flint.

"But I booked the field!" said Wood, positively spitting with rage. "I booked it!"

"As did I." I echoed him

."Ah," said Flint. "But I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker'. "

"You've got a new Seeker?" said Wood, distracted.

"Where?" I asked, trying to peer around the broad shoulders of the Slytherin boys.

And from behind the six large figures before them came a seventh, smaller boy, smirking all over his pale, pointed face.

"Aren't you Lucius Malfoy's son?" I asked with distaste. The Malfoy's had a reputation for nasty behaviour.

"Funny you should mention Draco's father," said Flint as the whole Slytherin team smiled still more broadly. "Let me show you the generous gift he's made to the Slytherin team."

All seven of them held out their broomsticks. Seven highly polished, brand-new handles and seven sets of fine gold lettering spelling the words Nimbus Two Thousand and One gleamed under our noses.

"Very latest model. Only came out last month," said Flint carelessly, flicking a speck of dust from the end of his own. "I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Cleansweeps" - he smiled nastily at Fred and George, who were both clutching Cleansweep Fives -" sweeps the board with them."

Neither the Ravenclaw nor the Gryffindor's thought to say anything. All of our jaws were hanging open, and Draco stood smirking victoriously.

"Oh, look," said Flint. "A field invasion."

A pair of second years I recognized as Harry Potter's friends made their way towards us.

"What's happening?" The small ginger boy asked Harry. "Why aren't you playing? And what's he doing here?"He was looking at Malfoy, taking in his Slytherin Quidditch robes.

"I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley," said Malfoy, smugly. "Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team.

The boy gaped, open-mouthed, at the seven superb broomsticks in front of him."Good, aren't they?" said Malfoy smoothly. "But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them."

The Slytherin team howled with laughter.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," said the bushy-haired girl sharply. " They got in on pure talent."

The smug look on Malfoy's face flickered."No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood," he spat.

My blood boiled immediately at the young prat's words, as I quickly pulled out my wand, as did the youngest Weasley. Flint had to dive in front of Malfoy to stop Fred, George, and Elio from jumping on him, and Alicia shrieked.

"You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!" The young Weasley yelled and pointed it furiously under Flint's arm at Malfoys face.

A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the wrong end of his wand, hitting him in the stomach and sending him reeling backward onto the grass.

"Ron! Ron! Are you all right?" squealed the girl, rushing over to him.Ron opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth onto his lap.

The Slytherin team were paralyzed with laughter. Flint was doubled up, hanging onto his new broomstick for support. Malfoy was on all fours, banging the ground with his fist. The Gryffindors were gathered around Ron, who kept belching large, glistening slugs. Nobody seemed to want to touch him.

"Locomotor Wibbly!" I exclaimed, flicking my wand at Draco, who's legs instantly gave in under him.The Slytherin team fell silent, and Draco stared up at me with a surprised expression, tears quickly springing in his eyes.

"My father will hear about this!" He wailed, "I'll tell the school and get you in trouble!"

"Oh and I'm sure they'll love to hear about you using slurs to target another student." I snarled, and my counter-threat proved effective, as Draco said nothing else, and neither did his team

. Flint quietly hoisted the small boy on his back and began to trudge towards the hospital wing followed by the Slytherin. I saw Harry and his friend guiding Ron in the direction of Hagrid's hut. Oliver looked over to where I was standing, and I knowingly smiled at him.

"You know what," I turned to my team. "Let's hold practice tomorrow, this shit is too hectic."