talking to you everyday makes my day.
especially when i've had a long day at work.
it makes me feel a little better.
and i wonder if you feel the same.
maybe you don't.
but i guess, that's okay.
you're not me.
i'm not you.
i feel the way that i feel but it doesn't mean you would, too.
i want to tell you how much i appreciate you being here with me.
but i don't want to fuck up things.
so i won't say it.
maybe one day, i will.
i want to do a lot of things with you, the things we used to do.
but i'm not gonna ask for it.
if you do though, i won't hesitate to say yes.
it's hard to hide myself but if it's what makes things stay the same then i'll do it.
i don't want to date.
i'm not ready.
and i know we're bad for each other when we get too close.
dating isn't the point.
but does it make sense when i say i want to do the things couples do but not date you?
it's not like i want to do those things with anyone else but you either.
but it's the balance i have to control.
because i don't want to scare you again like i did before.
people say i'm scary and clingy.
i come off as too strong because i rarely feel happiness, so when i do, it's probably stronger than normal.
i feel sick to my stomach when i wait for you.
because i miss you.
it's easy for me to.
i miss you quite often.
it's embarrassing.
but i won't talk about it.
no, i won't.
because it's not like i like you.