Original novel: En of Love: TOSSARA
Author of original novel: Faddist
Writer of fanfiction: Chocolate Ginger

Couple: Gun x Bar.

Genre: slice of life
Rating: 17+

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There are plenty of issues in our marriage. There are plenty of things I and Gun need to learn to build a healthy relationship. We need to know how to fall in love and stay in love. We also consider raising a child. We are just beginners in love, in marriage.

I think I know something but the truth is there are many things that I haven't known, haven't understood. However, I believe that we can get through difficulties together without panicking.

The authors are Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Their article on website helpguide.org gives tips for building healthy relationship. I need to read through it to get information. However, today I am sick. I am not healthy enough to read and understand such a long article like this. But I am really interested in this article. I found it by chance. I think it comes to me by destiny.

Tip 1: Spend quality time face to face.

Gun is busy with his work. He tries his best to fulfil his duty and to stay with me. I am concerned about him. I don't want him to be exhausted. But now I am sick and he is worried about me. We do spend time face to face at nights and on the wekends.

- Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis.

We do not commit this habit. We just do it naturally. I think I will discuss with Gun about this pratice. I believe he will accept my offer.

-Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Gun has to work early in the morning. So I think daily walk in the evening is suitable for us.

- Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you've never been before.

Sometimes we go on a holiday to relax. Nevertheless, I think we need to try something new. I like swimming but Gun doesn't. He likes playing video games.

- Focus on having fun together.

We can watch films or a football match at home. I think we can try outdoor activities such as cycling. Great! I think cycling is fantastic.

Tip 2: Stay connected through communication

Take note of your partner's nonverbal cues

So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don't say. Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone's hand, communicate much more than words. When you can pick up on your partner's you'll be able to tell how they really feel and be able to respond accordingly. For a relationship to work well, each person has to understand their own and their partner's nonverbal cues. Your partner's responses may be different from yours. For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat.

Be a good listener

While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you.

I am interested listening to Gun's stories and so is he. We feel comfortable to listen to each other when we have free time.

Tip 3: Keep physical intimacy alive

While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn't be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.

Gun enjoys hugging me from behind. He is the active while I just accept his affection comfortably. I think I need to give him more affectionate touch.

Tip 4:Learn to give and take in your relationship - Recognize what's important to your partner

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it's also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs will only build resentment and anger.

This was really our problem when we dated at the university. Gun wanted to be by my side whenever he could but I wanted to have my own time with my friends. We had argued a lot before we could come to an agreement.

- Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict This is a precious lesson. When we got married, we argued for a few months. Later, we had to calm down and sit together to deal with differences of our lifestyle. Tip 5: Be prepared for ups and downs

Don't take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are , it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration.

I meditate, read books, listen to audio books and listen to music to release stress while Gun really enjoys playing video games or sit alone in the garden.

Picture of Gun Tossakan (actor Win Achawin Michaels) and Bar Sarawat (actor Folk Thitiphat Chankaew) in the live action En of Love: TOSSARA (2020).

Source: www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm