Hôm nay xin phép come-out với m.n rằng mình là Kunicon 😊.

Tôi yêu Utagawa Kuniko. Không hổ danh là hoa khôi lớp 2-3, ẻm là bông hoa mẫu đơn giữa bầy thần kinh trong YoHaji. Dù phải sống chung với bác sĩ điên họ T tên A những ẻm vẫn giữ được sự tốt bụng và nữ tính (dù hơi bái thiến) của bản thân. Gọi em là hoa mẫu đơn vì em xinh đẹp mà kiên cường, dịu dàng nhưng không yếu đuối. Một người con gái hết sức tuyệt vời, những từ ngữ hoa mĩ nhất cũng không thể miêu tả và ca ngợi được con người em.

Khi biết được quá khứ của em, tôi đã khóc đến mức mà khi nhận ra thì thành phố đã bị ngập lụt. Nhưng cũng vì đó mà tôi càng yêu em hơn. Tôi yêu con người em, vẻ ngoài của em, tính cách của em, thành tích của em, yêu sự dịu dàng của em, sự mạnh mẽ của em, sự kiên cường của em, vẻ thục nữ của em, yêu cả sự bái thiến của em, yêu cái cách em ham muốn thân thể của Nyuudou, cái cách em muốn tìm hiểu về BDSM để làm chủ cuộc chơi,...

Với tôi, em không chỉ là một cục pixel. Em là tuyệt tác của thế giới được tạo ra bởi bác sĩ họ T tên A và cảnh sát họ Y tên M (hay đúng hơn là TanaMai-sensei).

Rất cảm ơn anh cảnh sát đã ngăn cản bác sĩ lại để ổng không tạo ra thứ của nợ như ý tưởng ban đầu, cũng vô cùng cảm ơn TanaMai-sensei đã vẽ nên một nghệ thuật sống, một nhân vật khiến người đọc nhớ mãi không quên 😭.

Em đẹp tới mức mới lần nhìn em là tôi xỉu up, xỉu down, xỉu ngang, xỉu dọc, xỉu xoay 90°, xỉu xoay 180°, xỉu xoay 360° rồi quay lại chỗ cũ vẫn xỉu, xỉu rơi tự do gia tốc 9,81 m/s², xỉu trong môi trường chân không không ma sát, xỉu lăn xuống dốc nghiêng góc α, xỉu khi α → 90° thì thành rơi tự do, xỉu kiểu vecto lực F = ma, xỉu ma sát trượt, xỉu ma sát nghỉ, xỉu điện trường E = F/q, xỉu từ trường B → cực đại, xỉu cộng hưởng, xỉu cộng pha, xỉu triệt tiêu, xỉu giao thoa ánh sáng, xỉu trong hiện tượng quang điện với bước sóng λ < λ₀, xỉu do hiệu ứng Doppler đỏ, xỉu do hiệu ứng Doppler xanh, xỉu khi tốc độ tiệm cận c khiến thời gian dãn ra theo γ = 1/√(1 - v²/c²), xỉu khi năng lượng giải phóng E > năng lượng liên kết hạt nhân, xỉu theo phương trình Schrödinger dạng chuẩn, xỉu collapse wavefunction, xỉu khi electron nhảy mức năng lượng và phát photon, xỉu theo cấu hình sp³, xỉu ion hóa, xỉu khi pH < 7 (môi trường axit), xỉu khi pH > 7 (môi trường bazơ), xỉu lên men yếm khí, xỉu quang hợp 6CO₂ + 6H₂O → C₆H₁₂O₆ + 6O₂, xỉu phản ứng nhiệt nhôm, xỉu phân rã beta, xỉu phân rã alpha, xỉu siêu tân tinh, xỉu hố đen, xỉu bốc hơi Hawking, xỉu Big Bang rồi hồi sinh Big Crunch, xỉu string theory 11 chiều, xỉu dimension shift, xỉu xuyên vũ trụ song song, xỉu trong Minecraft creative mode, xỉu bug game rơi xuống void, xỉu compile code không lỗi nhưng chạy không ra output, xỉu cú pháp SQL SELECT * FROM Xiu WHERE TrangThai = 'Ngat', xỉu margin-left 50%, margin-top -100%, xỉu rotate(π rad), xỉu dịch chuyển lượng tử kiểu teleport, xỉu AI deepfake, xỉu blockchain 256-bit, xỉu ping 999ms, xỉu mất mạng giữa rank match, xỉu disconnect rồi reconnect vẫn thua, xỉu trong khi update Windows 99%, xỉu khi máy hiện "Blue Screen of Death", xỉu khi bị spam thông báo lỗi stack overflow, xỉu infinite loop, xỉu null pointer, xỉu trong hàm đệ quy không điểm dừng, xỉu khi biến c không khởi tạo, xỉu printf nhưng quên "/n", xỉu kiểu Math.sqrt(-1), xỉu khi gặp NaN, xỉu sinh học khi tim đập 0 bpm, xỉu tế bào ngừng hô hấp, xỉu não không còn sóng điện, xỉu trong mối quan hệ toxic, xỉu do deadline dí sát gáy, xỉu do crush seen không rep, xỉu do người yêu bảo "mình cần thời gian", xỉu do lương về trừ hết còn 0đ, xỉu cạn pin điện thoại lúc cần gọi cấp cứu, xỉu ngoài đời thực + xỉu tâm hồn + xỉu song song trong tiềm thức.

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Alluring: Lôi cuốn.
Angel-like: Như thiên thần.
Breathtaking: Đẹp đến nghẹt thở
Bright-eyed: Ánh mắt long lanh, tinh anh.
Captivating: Lôi cuốn, thu hút.
Charming: Duyên dáng.
Curvy: Gợi cảm với đường cong.
Dazzling: Lóa mắt, rực rỡ.
Delicate: Mong manh, tinh tế.
Desirable: Đáng khao khát.
Divine: Đẹp như nữ thần.
Earthy: Mộc mạc, tự nhiên.
Elegant: Thanh lịch.
Enchanting: Mê hoặc kiểu ngọt ngào.
Ethereal: Mong manh như sương khói.
Exotic: Đẹp lạ.
Exquisite: Đẹp một cách tinh tế và hoàn hảo.
Fair: Thanh tú, trắng trẻo.
Feminine: Nữ tính, dịu dàng.
Fresh-faced: Mặt mộc xinh đẹp, tươi tắn.
Grace-blessed: Được ban phước bằng sự duyên dáng.
Graceful: Duyên dáng, nhẹ nhàng.
Gorgeous: Tuyệt đẹp.
Healthy-looking: Có vẻ đẹp khỏe khoắn.
Heavenly: Đẹp như đến từ Thiên Đàng.
Hot: Nóng bỏng.
Iconic: Mang tính biểu tượng.
Lotus-like: Tựa như một đóa sen.
Lovely: Đáng yêu, dễ mến.
Magnetic: Hấp dẫn như có lực hút.
Mystical: Bí ẩn, như thần thoại.
Natural: Đẹp tự nhiên.
Pretty: Xinh xắn.
Mesmerizing: Vẻ đẹp có thể thôi miên người khác.
Radiant: Toát lên sự rạng rỡ từ bên trong.
Ravishing: Cực kỳ hấp dẫn.
Rosy: Hồng hào.
Seductive: Quyến rũ chết người.
Sexy: Gợi cảm.
Sizzling: Nóng bỏng.
Statuesque: Đẹp như tượng (thanh tao, cao sang).
Striking: Gây ấn tượng mạnh.
Stunning: Lộng lẫy, khiến người khác chết lặng.
Tempting: Khiêu gợi.
Timeless: Vẻ đẹp vượt thời gian.
Unforgettable: Đẹp đến mức không thể quên.
Vibrant: Tươi tắn, tràn đầy sức sống.
Voluptuous: Gợi cảm đầy đặn.
Wholesome: Trong sáng, tốt lành.
Youthful: Trẻ trung.

Em đẹp tới mức chữ Kanji trong tên em cũng đẹp.

Tuyệt đối, thượng hạng, 5 sao, đỉnh cao, đẳng cấp, absolute cinema.

Ối giồi ôi, ối giồi ôi, trình là gì mà là rình Nyuudou tắm.

Anh hẹn em pickleball
Ta vờn nhau pickleball
Tay vợt bên dưới hông
Anh đập banh, đập banh đến em mạnh vào

Ta chỉ chơi pickleball
Không nên vượt mức pickleball
Đưa vợt anh tiếp banh
High and low, từ thấp đến trên cao

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bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark...!

Còn thiếu mỗi cái là copy đoạn trên đặt làm tên FB thôi.

Tóm lại là Utagawa Kuniko xinh đẹp tuỵt zời và ẻm là vợ tôi. Bọn tôi cưới nhau từ thuở bác sĩ họ T tên A còn chưa ra đời rồi nên Nyuudou, Renjou với mọi người đừng có giành 🐧.

Bonus đùi của chị Nhện 😋.

(Đoạn đầu t tự viết; đoạn từ vựng, xỉu up xỉu down với sủa của ChatGPT.)