Author's Note: thanks for voting and sticking to this story with me. there are only a few of you but even that makes me happy and willing to keep writing till we see the end of this story. for more frequent updates I am going to start posting one chapter instead of two. read and enjoy. don't forget to vote ; )

Chapter 13

We arrived at my place. I didn't look at the time but I was sure it was somewhere past midnight. My neighborhood was quiet, lights on everywhere, and barely any moving cars. This was the uptown neighborhood I lived in.

When I pulled the car into the parking lot, P'Arthit finally noticed that we had arrived. He had been sending a text he didn't want to tell me about on his phone.

"Hey, Kongpob, this is an apartment complex," he said as It wasn't obvious.

"I know," I replied and got out of the car. He followed while looking around at the tall building surrounded by a parking lot that was packed full of cars and flowers the kind we couldn't make out in the dark.

He turned to me and asked,"I thought you said you were going home?"

"Yeah. Were you expecting that I was going to my family home? I don't live there anymore."

"Why not? "

"It was part of the agreement. "

"What agreement?" I knew when he realized it. His eyes went wide and his expression relaxed. "Are you really going to do it? "

"No, not really."

"You won't marry her? Then she's not your soulmate?"

I laughed at that. "What in the world made you think that she was?"

"Well..." he trailed off.

"Nue is a good girl but she is not my soulmate, "I clarified.

"But she is still going around calling herself your fiancée."

I chuckled and inched closer to him while he inched away. "Were you jealous?"

He shoved at my face. "Yeah right. I'm just wondering if the poor girl knows you are not planning to keep your end of the deal."

"I told her, today."

He said nothing and I tilted my head till it was resting on his shoulder. He jugged it up and down and said, "get off," but didn't try to push me off completely. Just being close to him made my heart feel calm like I haven't been in a while and his warmth was making me feel lazy to move.

"Are we going to stand here all night?"

I sighed and pulled away. "Want to come in and spend the night?"

His jaw almost dropped and I hurdled over laughing. What a shock he has on his face. Why was that so surprising. "Your mind is dirty, P'Arthit."

"Screw you Kongpob." He kicked my shin and sounded really pissed.

"Sorry, I am just kidding around."

"Like I don't know that." He had a face on like he was pouting. I wanted to pull on his cheek so I did and pulled his face close but that was going too far. Now his face was right in front of me and his eyes were darting from my eyes to my lips. I couldn't tell in the dark but his cheeks were likely red. The temptation to lean the rest of the way and kiss him was almost too strong.

Without saying anything I released him, almost shoving him away. I hadn't meant to do that and looked quickly at him to see if he was offended or hurt by that.

"What the hell are you doing?" He was rubbing his cheek while sending me hot glares.

"Seriously, P'Arthit. Do you want to spend the night?"

The night was colored by tiny rays of light from street lights, the chirps of insects, and the occasional car honking in the distance. P'Arthit didn't seem like he was going to answer me. I glanced at him and saw that he was staring at the building without any emotion I could read.

"By that I mean we could just do a sleepover."

"I get it. There's no need to explain."

"You are staying?" the hope in my voice was almost embarrassing. P'Arthit looked at me curiously then shrugged.

"It's late and I don't have a car."

"I can buy you one."

"I don't need it."

"I've got the money, it wouldn't be hard at all."

"that's why I don't want it. besides, it's not your money. You are shamelessly throwing your family's money around."

Like that we began to walk to my apartment. I thought it would be awkward but from when we entered my house, struggled to make a light snack, which was just cheerios with yogurt ice cream, and when we each took showers, there was almost no awkwardness.

P'Arthit was not pulling away, was not expecting anything from me, and was not disappointed when I didn't react the way I knew he wanted. He didn't get annoyed with me when I playfully touched him, tackled, or hugged him. He seemed to have made up his mind to accept me and I almost believed that he didn't love me anymore. I mean almost believed that he didn't like me anymore. Love was a concept that I didn't entertain with people's feelings. Call it conceited but I only saw the love between soulmates as real love.

After a week of this, the almost finally went away. Like this P'Arthit and I grew closer and closer and I couldn't be happier. Sure there were times when I caught glimpse of P'Arthit's skin and lost my breath in a rush of want and times when the smell of him intoxicated me a little and made me aware of him in a way that felt like a betrayal, but I always easily shrugged it off. I was likely physically attracted to P'Arthit. it was possible to be attracted to someone you didn't love. I had to accept that my feelings weren't as platonic as I wanted P'Arthit to think. I did a great job hiding that fact from P'Arthit.

Every night I still dreamed of her, of my soulmate. I still remembered to my very bone what it felt like to love her, the intense feeling that swallowed me whole and hasn't let me off for many lives.

I miss her a lot and being with P'Arthit simply took the edge off the loneliness and the pain from missing her. I was merely using P'Arthit to brighten my dull life that held no meaning without the love of my life. When will we meet again? I am amazed that we haven't met yet. In all our lives we've always met as kids. Perhaps this difference meant that something had changed and the circle of death and reincarnation has been broken. I hoped so with all of my heart and I couldn't wait to meet them again.

One afternoon P'Arthit and I had made plans to hang out and for some reason, Nue was glued to my side and accompanying me. P'Arthit still had to go to classes and so I was planning to just wait a bit for him, I didn't think he would appreciate Nue's presence.

"Kongpob, I know you don't have to attend classes but at least show up for orientation." he once said to me

"Why, do you miss me?"

"People think it's weird we are friends and I let you not show up for orientation. At this point, they are going to be saying I am being biased."

"Well the thought of getting hazed by you makes me all fuzzy inside but I don't know, your rules are kind of harsh."

He had smirked at me. "Scared of a little hazing?"

"No, if I get on that orientation I wouldn't be able to keep myself from challenging you. I like how you react when I challenge you."

He gave me a fond smack and said, "You mean like you are doing right now? Damn it Kongpob, when are you going to stop flirting with me."

"Is that what I am doing? I can't help it, P'Arthit."

I ended up having to show up at the orientation and of course challenged him. I told him I would make him my wife and everything he owned would automatically belong to me too. He had been so embarrassed that I knew I would have to appease him somehow, yet Nue has glued herself to me.

" if I just suddenly stopped coming around to see you, my parents are going to notice something is up you know," she explained this when I kept giving her looks.

"But what am I going to do if P'Arthit gets jealous seeing a woman next to me."

"It's just like I thought. The reason you can't reveal anything to your parents is that you are in love with a guy." Her triumphant look was a little adorable but she was way off.

"You think I am in love with P'Arthit?"

"Aren't you?"

I thought about it for a bit. Letting Nue believe that was probably better than trying to explain that the person I loved was someone I haven't even met yet, but I didn't want to outright lie to her. "I guess that's the conclusion you came to."

"Not just my conclusion. I have watched the way you are around him."

"hm?" I gave her the opportunity to explain.

"You look happy and silly when you are with him."

I grinned. "That's because P'Arthit is just so cute and adorable. Anyone would be that way around him."

"Look at you, just talking about him has brought out that soppy look on your face. You are so besotted." She sounded disgusted.

"Is that so?" I knew that since I met P'Arthit again I have been very happy, but I didn't know if it was like Nue was making it out to be. I am not besotted with P'Arhit. But crap, I can't wait to see him. Why was he taking so long?

Nue and I have been waiting for almost fifteen minutes already. I took out my phone and dialed his number. He didn't pick. I had sent a text earlier but he wasn't reading it let alone replying it.

"I wonder if he is still in class."

I decided to call P'Bright.

"Hello, P'Bright." He picked instantly. "Is P'Arthit with you?"

"No, he left. Anything wrong?"

"No, it's just that we were supposed to meet today but he isn't here yet."

"That's weird. He has been gone for nearly an hour."

The school wasn't far from the café so if P'Arthit had been coming here an hour ago he should already be here. Did he get sidetracked?

"Is your boyfriend not coming?"

"Looks like." I had ended the call with thanks to P'Bright and was trying P'Arthit's number again.

"Look at you, you didn't even deny it."

"That would be childish."

P'Arthit's number has gone to voicemail. Should I go to his place to check on him? If he didn't even call me to cancel then maybe it was something urgent, like his mother. She had been really sick four years ago but she looked healthy the last time I saw her. More than a little worried I got to my feet.

"Nue, can you go home without me? I have to drop by P'Arthit's place." I dropped some cash on the table and turned to leave.

"Do you think something happened to him?"

"I don't know, that's why I am going to look for him. "

"Don't you think you are being too worried? If he hasn't gotten in touch with you it's probably because something came up but you are acting as if he might be in some kind of trouble. I am sure that he is just fine."

"Maybe."

"You are obsessed with him."

I stepped out of the café and gave her a look. "Is that what it looks like to you?"

"Yeah. You won't let him out of his sight for a moment, almost as if you are afraid."

"afraid." I glanced away from Nue and said, "Go home without me, Nue."

I left her without another word and went to get my car. Without much delay, I pulled my car quickly out of parking and swerved into the road with speed.

"Afraid huh." This was a feeling I remember living within all my past lives. Since I knew death was coming for us I always tried to be more cautious, because I thought I could change something and neither one of us would have our lives cut short. It didn't do any good but it has become ingrained in me. The worry, the fear. Why would I feel like that for P'Arthit? He was dear to me but he was not the person I shared many lives with. I mean if by some chance I had failed to recognize him, his memories aren't returning as they should.

"That's because he is not the one. P'Arthit is not my soulmate and I am only worried about him as any friend would." Convinced, I fired the car even faster.