Chapter 14

I held Rin's hand and led her away from the place. She was pale and trembling. If I could I wanted to punch the bastard that had touched her again. She looked a right wreck with bruises on her thighs and arms. Even her lip was split. I had to use my uniform jacket to cover her bare shoulders as her clothes were torn almost to shreds.

I kept from grinding my teeth in anger as I led her home. We didn't have a ride. Rin would have to endure more public eyes. People around us were already openly staring and this would continue until I can take Rin from prying eyes. I took out my phone and called a taxi.

The taxi took ten minutes to arrive. In that time, neither I nor Rin said a word. The silence took me back to exactly this same scene four years ago. I had happened on the scene of Rin getting the shit kicked out of her by the dirtbag of a brother. It had been just as shocking and as horrifying as it was today. The bruises, both old and new were ghastly and they peppered all the areas no one would easily notice when she wore her uniform. Her thighs, her hip, her chest, and back were covered in such deep wounds, some healing some already healed, some reopened. It was hard to think that her own brother inflicted this much damage on her but I saw it happen.

I felt like a horrible person for not realizing what she had been going through. She was supposed to be my friend, the only female friend I had, and I neglected her. It was easy to argue that there was no way I could have known, Rin hid it so well but I should have known.

"Come on, let's go to the hospital first," I said weakly when we were in the taxi.

She didn't answer with words, only a shake of her head. I had a lot of questions and the frustration was killing me but I didn't want to scare her anymore. I squeezed her hand that was clasped tightly with mine and said nothing till the car delivered us to our home.

At the gates, I saw my mom and Kongpob talking. Why was he here? I suddenly remembered that we were supposed to meet at the café this afternoon around the same time I had received the tip that someone saw Rin getting dragged away. All thoughts flew from my head and I went running. I completely forgot about Kongpob until now.

"Why are you—"

My words were cut off by my mother's shrill cry. She caught Rin in a hug and fussed over her bruises. "What happened, don't tell me."

Her glance at me was painful and I almost felt at fault even though there was no way I could have known. I avoided her gaze.

"Why aren't you taking her to the hospital?"

"She doesn't want to go."

"Oh my poor dear, who did this."

"Mom...mom..." she started cry all of a sudden. It was though a dam opened up and whatever strength she had slipped away with the tears that spilled out of her eyes. She crumbled, her limbs giving way and mother and I had to hold all her weight. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Hearing the broken cry that couldn't even come out right made me mad all over again. "Let's take her inside," mother said.

I nodded and ignoring Kongpob, I pulled Rin up and carried her into the house. My mother stayed outside. When I noticed, I was suddenly afraid about what she could be saying to Kongpob. I took Rin through the passage and into her room. She curled into a ball as soon as I placed her on the bed, inching away from me as if not wanting to be touched.

"Hey, we have to get you cleaned up."

She didn't respond. I looked to the door, wanting to see Kongpob and hoping my mother wasn't being mean to him again. He needed an explanation and I should be the one to give it to him.

"Go."

It took me a moment to realize it was Rin talking. She hasn't been able to speak properly for a while that I thought she may never find the strength to, at least not yet. She looked broken, shattered. A complete opposite from the girl I have to come to love like a sister.

"I am not going anywhere."

"But you want to go to Kongpob's side."

I did.

"Not really," I answered and knelt in front of her. "So don't worry about it and rest. Mom will be here soon to take care of you."

Her body shuddered on the bed and I wanted to hug her, wanted to build a wall of shield around her so she would never experience this again. Why did she have to suffer so much? Just why can't Rin have one happy ending? I heard choked sounds coming from her and reached out to lightly rub her head softly.

After a while my mom came. "How is she?"

"Not good. We have to clean her wounds and check if there's anything too serious for us to handle."

"I have got it." my mother edged me away and took my place. I watched her try to convince Rin to seat. I knew that I wasn't needed here so I took my leave but I stayed within hearing range. If I am needed I wanted to be there, but my eyes kept glancing at the door.

I pulled the curtains from the window and looked for Kongpob, but he wasn't there. He was likely gone. I hoped my mother hadn't said anything to hurt him again. My fingers itched to call him and find out if he was okay, but my attention should here right now. I have to endure the strong desire to see Kongpob and help Rin recover no matter how long it took. I hoped she would recover.

I sat in the living room remembering the filthy place I had found her. It was Rin's old neighborhood and the abuser was the same bastard from last time, her brother. I had thought the scum was still in jail but they must have released him early. Rin must not have been aware. If she had known her brother was getting an early release she would have been a shell of herself. I would have been able to see the signs and maybe would have been able to prevent what happened today.

Rin was a slave to her family. Both her parents were dead and growing up she has no one but her shithead brother to protect and provide for her. But instead of providing and protecting this bastard has been hurting her, beating her, selling her into prostitution, and completely destroying her sense of independence. It was like she couldn't even live or do anything without her brother's command. She had needed a new ground to stand on from when her brother was thrown in jail for drug pushing and there was suddenly no one there to call the shots. I had thought mom and I were that new ground but we don't stand a chance against that, do we? What could we do to break Rin's dependence on her brother?

"She is sleeping." My mother's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Is it who I think it is?"

I nodded. "Apparently he got out early."

"That bastard. Why didn't they lock him away for life? "

The system couldn't possibly understand how it affected the psychology of the victim when the criminal was released. They should have informed Rin and got her ready to deal with it.

"It seems you got there in time. She only has a few cuts and scrapes. I think her ribs may be broken but hopefully, it is just a little damaged. We will take her to the hospital tomorrow. "

"She won't agree. "

"I'll force her if I have to. I am worried about internal bleeding."

"Right. I think it is a good idea too."

"But what are we going to do about her bastard brother."

"I called the cops on him. I hope he is behind bars by now."

"That's obviously a temporary fix. If only Rin could just stand up to him. If she could overcome his control on her. "

"She needs her anchor."

"And that can be you, Arthit." I didn't respond to that because I didn't believe that. "Can't you see that you can be her anchor, Arthit!"

My mother's mad voice startled me. "What are you so angry about?"

"I am not angry. I am just so upset because a solution is right in front of us and we are not using it."

"A solution? I don't see that solution at all mom. If I could be Rin's anchor don't you think I would? I would in a heartbeat, okay?"

"Ah, you are right. I'm sorry." She held her head in her hands and I thought she was going to cry too.

"I'm sorry that I am so useless, mom."

"You are not useless, the useless one is me. I thought I finally protected something but once again..." she heaved a tired sigh and turned to leave. "I am spending the night in her room."

"Mom, what about Kongpob?"

She glared at me so sharply I flinched. Why was she being this way tonight?

"What?" I asked.

"Ah, nothing. Just continue worrying about your unrequited love. I told him to go away but he is likely still outside lurking."

"Outside?" without thinking I was already opening the door and stepping out. Why didn't I do that before? Kongpob's car was still parked outside. I hurried to it and knocked on the tinted glass. The window slid open and his smiling face appeared. "Hey."

"Hey, my foot. I thought you were gone, why are you still hanging around."

"What do you mean why? I saw you bring an injured girl home and nothing was said to me. How could I just go home like that? Are you okay?" He reached out a hand and brushed my cheek. My heart skipped a little, but then I realized he was referring to the bruise on my cheek where Rin's brother had punched back. I had completely forgotten about it.

"I'm okay." I grabbed his hand and didn't let it go. I should let it go but once I was holding on to it I felt like I needed to keep holding it, to keep feeling the warmth from it. Kongpob was my anchor when I felt like my world has become caught in a storm. If only I could be this to Rin too.

"Do you want to come in?" he was already pulling his hand away, but only to open the door to the driver's seat. He moved to the other side and waited for me to join him. I shouldn't, the way I am feeling if he rejects me like he usually does I might take a critical hit.

I knew this but my body wasn't listening. I entered the car and he wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders without me asking for it.
"Sorry I stood you up," I said when the moment stretched. It was too comfortable inside this place.

"That's not important right now. Do you want to talk about it?"

I took in a deep breath and said, "not really. I'll just get myself frustrated again. I don't know how it happened, only that it would happen again if I don't do anything to stop it."
"I could help if you, you know, tell me." his sincere words made me look at him. Those words seemed like something I should rely on, and I wanted to spill my guts to him as much as I could but no. if I let myself start relying on Kongpob, start expecting things from him, I am only setting myself up for a hard fall. Didn't I make this decision last week when I decided to be his friend?

"It's fine. It's just that Rin has never really had a happy childhood and now even her adult life is turning out this way. I just want to take all her pain away somehow."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I do." I blinked and remembered the context he meant that. "No—actually..."

He was smiling at me. "You love her like family. I already know that, P'Arthit."

I stared agape at him. I never once tried to convince him that Rin and I were together but did he know that I had lied this entire time? It was a little embarrassing. I stopped looking at him but didn't deny what he has said.

"I just want to protect her."

"Then protect her by telling me the name of the person who hurt you. The person who did this to you." He fussed on my injury again but I shrugged him off.

"There's nothing you can do about it, Kongpob. Even if you took him away, send him to prison, or whatever, his hold on Rin won't go away. He would always be in her head, in her dreams. She would never have any peace."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"For now I just want to help her forget, to bring her back to the Rin she was before he came back into her life."

"How will you do that?"

"By being there for her." I shifted so I could really look at him. "I'm sorry about today, I will make it up to you but I think for now we should hold off on meeting with each other. Between school, work and Rin I am going to be very busy."

His expression contorted as I was talking and I couldn't keep talking anymore. "What's wrong?"

"It hurts to think that I am being pushed aside that's all. I understand but I can't stand it."

I smiled, my chest feeling a little sweet. "You will be fine without me."

"No, I won't. I'll miss you like crazy. Isn't there any way I can get on your list of priorities?"

I sighed. Even my heart ached at the thought of going days without seeing Kongpob. "We could talk on the phone."

He tilted his head to the side and shook it. "Not enough."

"We could text each other."

"Not nearly good enough. "

"What then... I really can't give you any more attention than that Kongpob."

"Can't I at least come to visit? Your presence and mine could be what Rin needs to recover from this."

"I don't think so."

"The more people you have watching over her the better. Plus when you are at school and mom is at work I could hang out with Rin and keep her company. I will be good, I make a handsome nanny."

The laugh was pulled out of me and it felt unbelievably good. "You don't have to clean up after her, she is not disabled."

"Handsome babysitter then. I'll do anything."

I sighed deeply, feigning exasperation or perhaps really exasperated. "If I say no you'd just find more ways won't you."

"Of course."

I laughed. "You know, it is almost endearing how determined you are to have your way."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, when it is not annoying."

"You know I live to annoy you." He nuzzled me playfully. Pressed his nose to my face and tickled my neck with it. I pushed him away a little only for him to replace it with his fingers. Down my neck, shoulders, under my armpit, he tortured me with feather-like touches that only tickled and brought out laughter from me.

"Stop it. You touch me way more than you should, you know that."

"I know. I have been telling myself to stop but my body doesn't know how to listen when it comes to you, P'Arthit."

That made me pause, skin used to the feel of his fingers. I glanced at him and saw the expression he had on his face when he looked at me. Adoring, loving, maybe a little infatuated. Ever since I gave my permission for Kongpob and me to be friends, I have noticed certain changes in him that I didn't want to put much weight on. Kongpob liked to touch me, a lot. For no reason. I, of course, pretended that it didn't affect me like I didn't want to be touched or to touch back. I accepted his affection even though it killed me when I start to reading meaning into it, only to find out that Kongpob's soulmate was still in his mind. There was no argument that Kongpob still loves them, he even dreams about them too.

I know Kongpob loves that soulmate of his but can I allow myself hope that just maybe he was also starting to feel something for me too? As soon as the thought went through my mind I froze. I just went past a dangerous line when Kongpob was pressed to me, his hands on me and we were in a tiny space. My heart started to race and skip as awareness rippled through me. Kongpob's body, his chest, his arms, his scent—he smells lightly mint, a cooling scent that somehow made me burn where he was touching me. I was aware of it all, of the closeness of his mouth to mine. If I turned, if I leaned in a little I would kiss him.

"I should go," I muttered with my dry aching lips. I can't let him know that I was on the verge of losing myself. I was about to step on a landmine and I needed to get out before he caught me.

"I understand," came his reluctant response. "Should I still hang around just in case?"

"No, go." My tone may have sounded harsh. That was unintentional and it cost me. Kongpob pulled me back as I made to leave.

"What's wrong, you sound upset."

"I'm not."

My skin is warm and I was afraid Kongpob would know my heart was racing from feeling my pulse. I roughly took my hand from him and said, "I will call you."

"P'Arthit?"

I was out of the car and trudging to my house. I was so good this past week. I had gotten so good at taking on Kongpob's attention and not letting it get too personal. I kept my hopes and expectations down to zero. I knew what this was and I willingly walked into it with my eyes and nose wide open, yet I am still hoping. I still think there was something there to gain. This was just friendship. Kongpob's feelings for me were nothing more than that and if I forget that one more time I might have to hurt myself for being a fool.

Thankfully Kongpob didn't follow me. I entered the house and watched by the window till I saw him drive away. After which I let out a painful sigh and sat on the couch breathing. I sensed my mother enter the living room, head to the kitchen, made some noise with plates and spoons, then left again without saying one word to me. She seemed upset, what did I do to her? This really puzzled me.

Two days later Rin's brother showed up at our house. Dean looked nothing like his sister. He had piercings, hair-like patchwork gone wrong with a mess of gold and black, and a rough lean, and mean physique. The minute I saw him I wanted to kill him.

"Get out of my property," I said with a quiet voice that held all my anger.

"I want to see my sister. Where's she? Rin!"

I got between him and the house and stared him down. "She is not your sister, she never was."

"You just stay out of people's family's business. It's got nothing to do with you. If I want to see my sister, I will see my sister. Got it." he made a weird sound with his mouth and I almost punched him.

"Don't bother with him, Arthit." my mother's voice was all that stopped me. "Come inside."

"If by the count of ten you are still here, I am calling the police and you are sleeping in a cell tonight."

"Do what you like. I'm not afraid of you! You think I'm afraid of you. You piece of shit!"
"One," I started to count loudly. He ignored me and kept calling for Rin.

"Rin! Are you ignoring me? come out here you little bitch!"

"two."

I took out my phone and this bastard knocked it out of my hand. The phone fell and cracked on the stone-hard floor. I roared and attacked him but someone wrapped themselves around my middle and I couldn't get to him. He laughed at me and threw me the bird as he began to walk away.

"I will be back again Rin. You better fucking answer the next time."

I wanted to pull my mother off me and go after the bastard, punch the lights out of him. I didn't care what happened after. I just wanted to hurt him. Rin hasn't even slept through the night once since he beat her and he is back here again. Killing him seems like the only way to keep him away from her.

"Let it go, Arthit. Even if you fight with him what does it change? Who does it help? Just let it go. At least he has gone away. For now, let's just endure it."

"Why do we have to do that? Why does she have to cower in fear because of him? She can't even leave the house because of him. Why should Rin have to leave like a criminal when the real bastard is out there strutting around without a care in the world? I want to kill him, mom, maybe then she would be free."

"She would then have to deal with the guilt forever. Is that what you want?"

That snapped the strength out of me and I stopped struggling. "I just want to keep her safe and for her to have a normal life."

"She will. " she stopped grabbing my waist and looked straight at me. She looked exhausted. If Rin hasn't been able to sleep neither has my mom. She looked like she was suffering even more than Rin. "We will move away from here if we have to. If they won't keep thugs like that off the street then we will go far away from where he can never find us. So stop, okay. He isn't worth it."

I nodded and she patted my cheek. Together we went inside the house and found Rin standing by the door trembling. She tried to smile but it fell off her lips before it could even form. "I'm sorry, " she started to say, like a broken record, over and over again till I couldn't bear it. I pulled her into a hug and shielded her.

Whenever she got really scared she would keep saying I am sorry over and over and it bothered me because I couldn't help thinking these were the words she grew into the habit of saying each time her brother beat her and dehumanized her. She'd gotten so used to it that she said it automatically when she felt afraid.

We said nothing till I had her in the bed. After some time her trembling faded and the Rin I knew emerged in her eyes. She smiled weakly. "I am a mess aren't I?"

"No, you just need an anchor, something to hold on to when you're really scared and when the world feels wrong."

"An anchor."

"Don't ask me to explain, you will know it if you have it."

"Do you have it?" my mouth sealed. I have tried my best to push Kongpob back to that place I did almost two weeks ago and I am struggling. I don't know why. I haven't spoken to him since that day and I have avoided his calls. I knew he wasn't coming to bug me yet because of Rin and I am almost grateful. I needed the time to prepare my heart for his friendship again.

"Not really but I don't need it as much as you do." I got up and asked, "Are you thirsty."

"If I have an anchor I think that would be you, Arthit."

"Hm?"

"Arthit. Are you absolutely certain that Kongpob doesn't have feelings for you?"

I started and began to blink." why do you ask?"

"Because there is something I want to say."

I sat back down and shifted closer. "You can tell me anything."

"You first."

"Me?"

"How do you feel about Kongpob?"

Her eyes were so piercing I knew she already knows the truth I have come to realize not long. "I ache for him," I said, startling myself but I didn't stop. "Almost unbearably. I can't stand the way I feel about him, this incessant need to be with him like I couldn't live without him. It's stupid." I laughed at myself.

"It's not. I feel exactly the same way."

"About Kongpob?" my shoulders stiffened.

"No, silly." Her smile was sweet.

"Rin, you have someone you love?"

"Obviously," that smile turned shy.

"That's...weird. Here I thought you only loved books."

"Surprise, surprise." She rolled her eyes. This pleased me as I felt that she had finally gotten over her terror. I kept on.

"Then is it Bright? Don't tell me it's Ai'Bright."

She laughed. "Come close and I will tell you."

"Is it a secret?" I drew my ears closer and waited for her to whisper the name to me so mom wouldn't hear, but instead of words, I felt soft lips pressed to mine. Rin was kissing me. My eyes couldn't have been more widespread. I stared at her closed-eye lids for as long as the kiss lasted.