Author's Note: hey there! another superbly late update, I am surprised that people are still waiting for this. if you are then you are the best. I spent a long time ruminating on these chapters. The first one is short but the second one made up for it by being the longest chapter, ever. I hope it doesn't put you to sleep. enjoy the story and please leave me a vote. I love votes : )

Chapter 9

The fact that I remember every life that I have ever lived is not a coincidence nor is it something that everyone, even soulmates can do. It is because of the help from a certain monk and the promise that I have kept to this day.

My very first life started with me being a simple prince, neither in line for the throne nor disfavored by the king. I had everything I wanted and I could do anything I wanted. I had freedom. That is why I was outside of the palace attending a festival within the capital. It was there that I saw an enchanting sight: a beautiful dance by a masked gypsy and member of what was called the circus.

Gypsies were essentially free people who belonged to nowhere and to no one. They do their best to escape from being branded as slaves and moved from place to place. I knew if I didn't meet this entrancing dancer now I would never see them again. I simply wanted to say that I was their biggest fan.

In the process of looking for them, I caused an uproar due to my identity being exposed. I usually went around in disguise but many could still recognize me. With this, I had to be pulled out of the gathering by my guards but I still made sure that I could grab the gypsy along with me.

I found them and I grabbed their arm and pulled them along with me as we escaped the crowd. I had saved them, at least that was what I wanted her to think. She didn't want to follow me at first but I still forced her to join me. I wanted her to believe that being with me was her only choice, but she was feisty, strong, and determined to escape.

I kept her a prisoner in the palace and tried to convince her to dance once more for me but she kept on insisting that it wasn't her who did the dance but someone else, her brother.

It was true that there were two masked people at the time but my eyes had never left the one that enchanted me so I didn't believe her, but she really was too horrible at dancing and she was just too funny. In the end, I had to believe that she wasn't the dancer so I set a trap with her to capture her brother.

I captured him eventually because he couldn't leave without his sister and now I had them as my personal source of entertainment. It was true that I was entitled and spoiled and didn't treat them like human beings but that was soon knocked down a peg by her into by her when they tried and failed to escape.

She told me that as long as they were alive they would always try to leave. They were free people and they will not be tied down even by me. For the first time, I experienced true pain, not from my own body but from her own injuries. It felt like it was worse to see her suffer, to see her expression of agony. In my heart, I knew that I would never personally hurt her again and I didn't want to steal that freedom that she loved so much.

Over time I developed feelings for them, but more for her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but there was no way my parents would allow me to marry her, so I tried to create a fake background for them hoping I could give her a place to belong to which was by my side.

She wanted to escape still, but thanks to her brother who wanted to stay, she didn't manage to leave. I thought she didn't feel the same for me, but I was wrong. She returned my feelings and knew it would lead nowhere. She wasn't as in denial as I was and knew that reality was harsh. I kept convincing her and breaking all her resistance to me. I wanted her to truly love me and to forget the fact that I was a prince.

The plan was to trick my father into thinking that she was of noble birth but for some reason, we were betrayed, by her own brother. Her legs were broken and she was branded a slave before I could save her. That was the worst thing that could happen and it broke her spirit completely.

My girl who loved her freedom was no longer free and all she sought was death. My father had me imprisoned in my home and my marriage planned away but I was already planning to escape. I would take my woman and escape from this place. We would go far and live like paupers. I didn't care about the luxuries of my life or the authority of my name, as long as I had her.

With the help of my people, I managed to escape and we got as far as we could go but... we only had a day. One day of peace, one day to love, and then she would be taken away from me. I already could see that my existence was all that kept her alive. If I left, if I wasn't there, this girl would die. I knew that to my bones and it terrified me. So I decided, like most great lovers do, that it was better to die with her than to live without her.

That day we both jumped off the cliff in front of her brother's eyes and died.

"What are you talking about?" P'Arthit asked me looking a little shaken. Does he remember something, I thought anxiously, then stilled. That was an odd thought. How can someone who wasn't there know anything about what I am saying? If he was my soulmate that would have been different, only my soulmate would remember this story, yet why am I looking at this absolute stranger like I wanted him to... what be my soulmate? What is the meaning behind what I am doing right now?

"That's my story. The story of my soulmate," I said with a casual smile.

"So? What does that have to do with me?'

Right, I thought still grinning, but my mouth moved to continue. "We kept dying, like that. Sometimes suicide, sometimes murder, sometimes accidents. We couldn't live past twenty-five."

Perhaps telling someone about this was what I wanted. It was always such a weight to be the only one who knows everything. I am just trying to relieve that burden.

P'Arthit scoffed. "I thought you wanted to be serious."

"Yeah..." why the hell am I telling him this, I thought with no little frustration. It's not as if he would understand. He couldn't. No one would ever believe me. He probably thinks I am making fun of him.

"So then, you are trying to say that you've been reborn in this life?"

"hm?" he believed that?

"Let's say all of this is true, why are you telling me this." he leaned forward.

"Well, because..." his eyes were so wide as he stared at me openly. My heart gave an excited jump as our faces came a little closer and mine started to feel warm. What is it about P'Arthit that has my pulse racing like this? It was this confusion that led me to follow him around back then. This feeling, what is it supposed to be if he is not my soulmate.

"P'Arthit, P'Thot, and the others are waiting for you!"Someone called from a distance away.

We blinked at each other and I sighed. I have lost my mind. This wasn't why I came here. Telling P'Arthit something that has nothing to do with him was meaningless. There is no end to be achieved by doing this and I was letting that confusion lead me on again and it might eventually cause me to hurt P'Arthit again.

As if not hearing the call, P'Arthit continues to look at me. I smiled as I got to my feet. "I took most of your time talking nonsense, P'Arthit. You don't have to listen to me anymore."

"It wasn't nonsense," he said, his serious vein perched between his brows. "Four years ago you also said something like this, it can't be nonsense, at least not to you."

I laughed, making fun of the situation despite the lump in my throat. "So P'Arthit you really believe in things like this. I don't know if you are gullible or just naïve."

"Then were you lying to me? For what reason would you fabricate that story, just to mess with me?"

I scratched my cheek, feeling awkward. I didn't know what to say that would make P'Arthit drop this issue and forget I ever mentioned it. "I guess I was trying to explain away my actions. The truth is that I really want us to be friends if it isn't too much trouble."

"P'Arthit! P'Thot and the others are calling for you!"

P'Arthit rose to his feet and said calmly. "I don't know if you are making fun of me or what your real goal is here, but I have my own reason why I want to keep the past in the past. Sorry, Kongpob, after coming here to see me I can only tell you that we should just remain strangers and move on with our lives."

He said this and then he turned and walked away without waiting for my answer. I guess he was right in every way. I should just withdraw from school and go back to my life. I shouldn't linger around P'Arthit when he obviously wanted nothing to do with me. I have more pride than that, don't I.

I watched him meet with the junior calling for him, watched them walk away till there was no more sight of them, then I turned and started to head for my car. I will drive back home and get some rest then I will decide what I am going to do next.

After sitting in my car for hours and being unable to drive off, I sighed and gave up. I didn't feel like walking away again like I did last time. P'Arthit had said "if you can't love me then leave me those years ago," like that was the only choice.

"P'Arthit," I said to no one and spotted him leaving the university building. "Sorry, I just can't leave you alone right now. "

I haven't found my soulmate yet, I thought as I started my car. I already know I can't ever fall in love with P'Arthit since he isn't the one I have loved for over five lifetimes. This might be selfish but even P'Arthit doesn't love me anymore, so isn't it fine if I just be with him for a while. Maybe it is selfish, but I didn't really care about being selfless. In fact, no one who knows me would ever call me selfless.