I fucking hate You.

Hate the way You love,
You remember,
You care for Me.

Hate the way You text,
You call,
snap pictures for Me.

Hate the way You kiss,
You touch,
You reach out to Me.

Hate how it's so real,
so nice,
so disgusting to Me.

I fucking hate Me.

Hate the way I think,
I act,
I lash out to You.

Hate the way I sulk,
shut off,
turn away from You.

Hate the way I lie,
I hide,
all to deceive You.

Hate how they all feel,
so good,
so toxic to You.

I fucking hate Us.

Hate the way We talk,
You smile,
I guard.

Hate the way We hang,
You out,
Me up.

Hate the way We fight,
You're straight,
I'm dying.

Hate the way We see,
You Me,
I flee.

☾

one thing i think i'm really good at in poems (or maybe in writing in general) is using words with double meanings 👌👀

but anyway. it was father's day yesterday, but i don't wanna say this poem is to commemorate it, because 1) it is an old poem, and 2) it is very mean. it does summarize the feelings i used to — and sometimes still — have towards my dad though, and it's based on real events. but anyway, to say that i don't love him at all is kind of a lie. so happy father's day, dad.

the wonderful new cover you see is made by Jacques (@ _anhedonia) ♡

alright folks, bye :)