author's note:

ayeee, did you know the first letter of each chapter name (excluding this one) spells out "dont leave please"? wow so coincidental.

anyway, as a basic explanation, the story up until chap "sudden" was random jaeno memories - it was jaemin reliving the memories jeno presented to him through photos/letters in the envelope. the last two chaps is the present day, but the final chap ("empty end") is the present time when jaemin reads the final letter and realizes he's in the present now. he can no longer feel happy or alive with jeno, and feels the same dull, empty way he did at the very start of the book, just worse. he finally got to know what being alive truly felt like, but then it got taken from him.

so that's the true story, but here's an alternate ending if you were looking for something happier:)

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june 16

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jeno glanced up from his phone once the video stopped playing and looked at jaemin, who was nervously biting his lip and fiddling with his fingers.

"well?" jaemin prompted, desperate for a - positive - reaction. "what do you think?"

"i never knew you had such good skill in video editing," jeno said, grinning. jaemin smacked him. "okay, okay, it was good. really good. and really sweet."

"yes!" jaemin cheered. "my personal favourite part was me exposing how you got into the hospital - and made us do a whole dramatic thing straight out of a sad romance."

"it's not funny!" jeno whined, crossing his arms like a kid.

jaemin laughed, "yeah it is! you were doing the go go dance by BTS on your porch but you fucked up the dab like a fake memer and fell into the garbage bin and ended up unconscious for a bit!"

"that was painful you little shit!" jeno screeched, leaping up and putting jaemin in a headlock.

jaemin couldn't stop laughing and looked up at jeno. "but i'm your little shit."

"that's gross, i did not shoot you out of my ass," jeno countered.

"but you love me, right?" jaemin asked.

"no, i love the song," jeno replied simply. jaemin pouted and it was jeno's turn to laugh. "i'm kidding. that video was probably the cutest thing anyone ever did for me. i failed language arts so what up, my name's jared, except i never learned how to talk - i don't know what to say. i love you so fucking much."

jaemin smiled, showing off his pearly teeth. "yeah, i love you pretty fucking much too."

"we're dating now then, right?" jeno inquired. "even though everyone's aggressively against gays and tries to shove bibles up our asses?"

"eh, i think morkhyuck saved us," jaemin replied. "now only old ass close minded people reject gays. like our parents."

"well so what? we're hot and young - and freaky," jeno smiled.

"it's like you don't even listen to nct you fake fan!!!" jaemin hollered. "it's, so what? we hot, we young~"

jeno interrupted jaemin's gorgeous singing by whispering lowly, "stop, baby don't st-"

"woah there, that song's pg69 and illeg-"

"-al by BTS, yeah yeah, but i know the dance to it anyway," jeno shot back.

"you so horny for deez nuts," jaemin signed.

"for that small dick you mean?" jeno corrected wickedly. "eh, i'll pass-"

"YOU BITCH!"

"BEFORE YOU FIGHT ME AND WE END UP IN SOME KINKY POSITION, ARE WE DATING OR NOT?!"

"WHADDYA THINK ASSHOLE?"

"OK GOOD BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO!"

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