no this ain't kinky

aaravos can actually kill me and i'd still nut for him

like he's sO hOt ???!?!??!?!?11!?!??///1?!/!

i'M-

hE's EviL bBuT i lOvE iT?!?!?!??!1/1//11/

HE'S SO CUTE CASTING GODDAMN DEATH SPELLS

__

After a weird blue man started to show up in my dreams, I tried to quit sleeping for a week. Failed, of course. After he started to appear in reality, I tried to sleep for a week straight. Failed, again. I could only imagine him, however, as when I blinked my eyes twice, he disappeared. Galaxy skin, horns sprouting at the very top of his head, distinct white markings that looked and shone like daggers every time he moved, and pointed ears, such as an elf would have.

But what captivated me the most were his eyes, the way he moved with such grace, the way he'd stare seemingly at me, the slightest smile dancing upon his features, lips parted in such a way that I'd only dream of talking to him. His hands seemed to weave magic, as a wave of one would leave me wide awake in my sleep, sweating, the dream ending.

I was certainly determined to find him, however I was preoccupied with other matters. Such as the one I'm working on right now. I'm a journalist, and my job is to record news. Right now, I'm in a bit of a slump. The princes are gone, Lord Viren hasn't returned for many weeks, god knows where he might be, and my father and mother are away in some foreign country. I've heard of dragons reigning the night sky, but that seems like just a rouse. I have nothing against Xadia or its people, so why should I make something that portrays them as unjust people?

Honestly, I hate this kingdom more than anything else. Not only did the royal guard debunk my last paper when I made it about the disappearances of Viren and the Princes, but also almost destroyed my ink and scroll collection. Unforgivable. I huffed and rested my head on my hand, starting to doze off when I saw a spark from my mirror.

Jumping, I gave a snort and turned my attention to the now glowing mirror.

"What...?" I murmured, touching the surface. The mirror screen rippled, revealing the inside of a house, decorated with lavish bookcases, expensive looking magical chairs and a lit fireplace. "What in a banshee's name?"

"I haven't heard that term in quite a while." Letting out a guttural screech, I almost toppled my mirror, and proceeded to fall onto my back, the wind being knocked right out of me. Someone chuckled. I quickly got up, face flushed red and cleared my throat.

"I haven't heard of the term banshee in a long time, but you sure do sound like one." I looked around my room, sputtering and trying to fake kung-fu kick the invisible voice. "Wh-Who's there? I'm not afraid to fight! I have a... sharp pen that I'll stab you with!" The voice laughed again, more amused.

"Look in front of you, and I don't think closing your eyes will be of much assistance if you want to fight someone." Flustered, I glanced back at the mirror in horror to find the same Blue Man from my dreams staring back at me. And no, this isn't a rom-com.

"It's you!" I shrieked, bouncing around on one foot, spinning in circles deliriously. "It's you! Oh my god!" I must've looked like an idiot, since the figure just sighed and waited for me to calm down and hurriedly grab my pen and paper. "What the bloody Merlin-! Okay, what's your name, occupation/job, living space, and if it's not too awkwardly may you tell me your date of birth, blood type, and have you committed any DUIs or illegal transactions of any sort?" He breathed in and motioned for me to stop rambling. Immediately, I shut up.

"Okay, okay, sorry." Drawing a breath in, I exhaled and smiled gently, setting the pen and paper down on my desk. I took a seat and stared at the figure, who was now smirking. Oh no. He pointed to his ear, flicking the tip. My face heated up as I clasped it. Is this some sort of sexual innuendo elves use? What does he want from me? Is it like in that one play that they show every Tuesday where people with weird v's under their eyes touch them and it's sort of like... affection? It's called like, Voltage, Voltor, Voltorn or something. Oh god, there's also another purple guy in there...

Once I was done speed-thinking, the mysterious purple guy just waited. I saw something appear from my water cup. Oh god I am never going to drink out of that cup again and I swear I will literally throw that cup out of the window along with my hair after this is all over.

It's a bug, oh Merlin it's a bug. I shakily looked at the mirror once more as the figure, with a hint of playfulness in his eyes motioned for me to keep still and not to freak out. I obeyed, letting the universe centipede crawl onto the shell of my ear.

"You don't know who I am-" I threw my hands in the air, choking on my own words.

"Yeah, no shit Shirley! I-I dreamt of you, and now you're appearing in front of me, and now I'm just... I sound like a freaking creeper now because I- Ugh!" He laughed, the back of his hand delicately lifted up to his mouth, revealing sparkling galaxies spread along his palm. My eyes glowed as I itched to take notes, but refrained from picking up my writing utensils and just watched him, completely captivated by his motions.

"You're a star elf, aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow, still grinning. "You're an observant mortal, aren't you?" I didn't notice at first, but when I'm calm like this, I could hear the smoothness of his voice, like rich, melted chocolate. I could only nod, speechless. He was just so... amazing. I didn't realize he was retorting back at me until I heard the snap at the end of the sentence. God, that chocolate.

"I think I may faint. I've heard about your kind when I was little, and it's just so cool to finally meet one in person. Sorry, if I sound presumptuous or like a normal reporter, interviewer, et cetera... I'm a bit awkward, since, I don't really know you and I keep seeing you in my head, and in bed- Shoot, oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so awkward." I covered my face with my hands as he laughed for the billionth time as I embarrassed myself for the billionth time.

"It's not the first time," he muttered.

"What?"

"What?" I felt the urge to choke again. Merlin's beard, this was just so odd. He's now telling me that he's not a virgin? I know I'm a reporter, but this is too far.

"Isn't that a little personal? Telling me about your... that life?" He looked surprised, and a bit confused.

"What life? How I gather someone's attention?" Lord, he doesn't know what that is.

"Nevermind, nevermind. Let's move on."