modern au

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Tanjiro came from humble beginnings, that I knew. He was never really one to flaunt things or show off, until Uzui. He believed that being a big brother was all that he'd ever amount to. But fortunately, he did well in school and was able to score a well-paying job alongside me and a few other coworkers. Since our childhood days, we'd always hang around together and play games.

It was fun, reminiscing about our golden times. When college rolled around, we still managed to keep in contact, and called each other daily, Facetiming until our phone batteries were out of juice. My friends would egg me to ask him out, but I never did, afraid of rejection. It took me a while to admit that I had feelings for him, but the more I saw him, the more that I realized I was falling hard.

Tanjiro's smile, his laugh, his mannerisms were all so charming. But he just made me so damn nervous every single time he was genuinely kind and lovely to me. Our "dates" were weekly, where we'd either hang out alone or with Zenitsu, Nezuko, and Inosuke. The group went to the mall, went shopping, and once we even made it to Tokyo Tower and took a lot of pictures there. Though I liked him, I was too oblivious then to see that he clearly liked me back.

The brunette would always carry my things, no matter how heavy they were, he would always start the conversation, wait for me, or even comfort me when I was distressed. Like an angel in disguise, he was always there, and I could feel that he cared oh-so deeply for me.

When I did finally admit my feelings to him, we both couldn't believe we'd liked each other for so long, but were too much of pussies to actually say something. Sharing a laugh over it, that marked the start of our relationship as something more than friends.

Normally, some would turn this into a sob story, but we were happy together. We went on sappy dates, kissed under the stars, toured Disneyland in Japan, and dragged along our friends to third and fourth wheel in meet-ups. We dated for a couple of years until he finally proposed, like the classic but not overly-exaggerated proposals you see in films, and planned out our marriage.

That was almost a year ago. I couldn't believe that time had passed by so quickly. I was twenty five, with Tanjiro just a month older than me. It was kind of early to be getting married, as we'd both just graduated college, but we we'd been saving up for this for a long time. I couldn't anticipate the sight of my soon-to-be husband at the alter as I walked down the aisle.

With that thought, I almost cried myself a wreck, but realized what I was about to do and sucked it in, waiting for the tears to burst out any moment. I felt pats on my back, an attempt to calm me down. Taking a deep breath, I stopped, and my companions walked me to the door where I took my father's arm.

"Tanjiro's a fine young man," my dad murmured, smiling proudly at me, "You got a good one." I laughed, sobs nearly tumbling out of my throat, and smacked him gently.

"Don't talk about him like he's a fish!" We both snickered one last time and finally composed ourselves when the church bells rang and the doors opened. There was a flash of blinding light, then I saw everything lurch into slow motion.

Tanjiro was standing there in a suit, hair slicked back with his classic earrings hanging. His red eyes lifted to see me and I felt my heartbeat quicken. Our gazes met and I finally started to cry, as did he, when we both looked at each other with nothing but love and passion. When I finally got to the alter, I almost impulsively kissed him right there on the spot. Oh God, this was it. This was the man I was going to marry.

I took his hands and scrunched up my face, trying to avoid any more tears from leaking out and ruining my complexion. Tanjiro's eyes weren't dry either, as more and more droplets fell down from happiness, staining the ground.

"I want to kiss you right now," he whispered, squeezing my fingers tightly, "You look absolutely amazing, (Y/N)." I laughed, feeling butterflies rise up from my stomach to my throat, voice bubbly and enigmatically laced with nervousness. Letting out a long breath from my mouth, I was shaking as the priest read the testaments, and after a few more phrases, we got to say our vows.

Tanjiro let go of my hands, much to my disappointment, but took a piece of paper from his jacket pocket instead and read it aloud.

My love, my dear (Y/N) (L/N). I know that we've gone through many, many years of friendship and a couple years of dating. It's been a long, long time since our story began, and yet I still never tire of you. Your charming personality never fails to tug at my heartstrings, and you are always going to be the brightest light in my eye. In the future when we are married, have kids, and start that little shop you always wanted to run, I will always be by your side.

No matter what drives us insane, no matter what comes and what goes, know that I will stay loyal to you, even through the toughest of times. I promise to stay up late with you when we're binge-watching shows out of boredom and try my best to remember to do the dishes when you cook. There was this one time when we were in high school, before we started to go out, you mentioned that you wanted a stable family -- one with lots of love around it, some support that you wish you had when you were younger.

I will give you that. The amalgamation of all my love goes to you, (Y/N). Sometimes I think I love you more than I love myself. I know that I'm not the richest man, or the smartest, nor am I the one that is flawless. But what I do know five thousand percent, is that my heart goes out to you, and I will do anything for us. For even the idea of us. With every fiber of my being, I will support you endlessly. Love you endlessly, and never carelessly.

(Y/N), I vow to you to be a good husband.

Then the world went black.

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Gasping, my hand touched my heart and clasped the bed sheets next to me. It was just a dream. I whipped my head to my left and found nothing. To the right, nothing but a picture. I rubbed my eyes with a hand and grabbed the frame, examining the image.

Tanjiro and me, on our wedding day. I saw the person in the picture, overjoyed at the sight of being with their husband. I turned the frame a little bit more and saw my reflection.

I was a mess.

I was such a mess.

Dropping the picture on my lap, I could do nothing but weep again all night, consumed by my sorrows and misfortune.

Tanjiro Kamado failed to uphold his vows. He said he'd be here. He said that he'd support me. He said that he'd provide that family. Then he left. He left because others were too cruel to help, and he was too nice to ask. He left because there was no one that would help him in his darkest times. I wasn't there, I didn't assist him. Only watching from the side, I was unable to lift him back up again, to help him morally.

Did I do something wrong to cause this? Was this repentance for my sins? Were we simply not meant to be?

Maybe it was my fault that he was dead.