I was just worrying too much? No way, you sounded lifeless and tired af. Like i was bothering you, even though you said it was okay and it doesn't matter. I felt guilty af.
Jfc
I'm thinking about the other things (overthinking i guess, again), something like:

Do you even interested in me?

Were those words are true? Or were those words are just a fucking joke?

Do you even love me? Will you even wait for like 5-6 years just to take this weird creature to your home and meet your parents?

I'm scared, scared of losing you. I know I'm just a reserved person, not that much talkative like the others, I just wanted to talk to you. I tried though, but it didn't last long. I need that warmth for this cold and lonely winter.
Alone, doesn't matter me much but it actually does.
... I think I'm crying
For fuck sake, how many time have I been like this?
I've never asked for a long-distance love like this, this happened 3 years ago and IT WAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE. I think i'm going to face the history again, but it'll be more difficult, dangerous, depressed than the first time.
Soon, this will end fast but it will affect me a lot.
How much time to recover after something like this? It usually 3 months, but 3 years ago was 1 year. Will this take me 3 months or 1 year to recover?
... I should stop think about this.. But it seems like I can't.

I always want to show all of my emotions and feelings for you, but I'm shy af. You told me not to be shy about it but... Urgh...
I prefer showing my feelings by actions more than words.
I should make something
Yeah you'll like it, I know.
The most important thing to me is seeing you happy.
That would be enough.