"Now, the Knight is an intricate piece. It can move in a L shape, and jump over other pieces to get to the spot where it needs to be. It is the only piece that can do that. Use your Knight wisely, it may not look important, but son, the name explains everything. The Knight is your Knight, let him save you."

————

Knight. The first thing that comes to mind when I hear knight, is not the dark sky with the twinkling stars or the glowing moon. It is the horse shaped piece in the game of chess.

I love the knight. I always have. It moves in such a peculiar way, one so odd and different from all the other pieces. I suppose I can relate to it, maybe not so much because my life has not been all rough, in fact, I have lived a pretty nice one and people like me, but I can relate to it in the sense that it is just... stands out. I do not think I necessarily stand out that much, but with my own mind, it is a different world.

A world where there is a clear ocean and soft white sand. One where the sky is baby blue and there is large majestic trees with flowers of colors of the whole entire rainbow. One where I smile, even when the darkness comes. In this world, the darkness will be my friend. The light will be my friend. In fact, everything will be my friend. What a world that would be.

But alas, I am in a world where you can disappear. And it just seems I have disappeared.

Though, right now, it just did not seem that way as I stood next to Yeosang, watching him stare at the empty hospital room. It was of course that bright white color with the typical medical necessities. I was confused, I mean, why was I here? There was absolutely no point in me being here. It was a hospital.

"I know what you are thinking," Yeosang says.

"What am I thinking then?" I inquire.

He looks to be with a bright smile, "Ohh why am I here? A hospital? Huh, huh?" Yeosang imitates, making attention grabby hand gestures. He then adds on, "You ask too many questions. Just go with the flow bro."

I chuckle slightly. Bro. "Don't say bro, it sounds weird coming from you."

Yeosang acts offended, putting his hand over his heart. "Alright man, what ever you say."

I just roll my eyes, as he goes into a fit of small laughs. I smile at the sound, and shake my head adoringly. Yeosang was cute.

I look to the smaller to ask a question, but just then, the door flew open. It hit the wall with a loud bang, and in rolled a hospital bed. Nurses and doctors flew around the bed, plugging in machines, attaching weird items to the person on the bed, and over all just preparing. The person perched upon the bed was a she. She had sweat rolling from her temples, and a face scrunched in pain. She gripped onto the hand of one of the nurse, screaming curses.

She wore a hospital gown, but had a large stomach. She was giving birth.

A piercing scream erupted from her, as a doctor yelled, "she's ready!"; the nurses and doctors grabbed what they needed, as one of the nurses were asking her to push. She shook her head repeatedly saying, "no, no, no."

"You have to push," a nurse with a green scrub said.

"I can't!" The lady cried.

"Come on!" One of the nurses yelled.

"I c-can't," the lady whimpered, tears leaking from her eyes, soaking the white gown on her. "He is not here." She whispered sadly.

The nurses looked to each other knowingly. I tilted my head to the left and looked to see Yeosangs reaction, finding that the boy was not there. My eyes widened. Where was Yeosang?

Seonghwa looked back at the bed where the lady sat. Tears streamed down her face, as she clasped onto the hand of the nurses. They tried and tried to console the lady, but they just could not.

"Ma'am, you're going to have to push now," one of them said calmly, into the ladies ear.

The lady looked at them with pitiful brown eyes. They were red and they were glossy. Her bottom lip jutted our, as she let out a broken sob. She knew, she knew she had to push. So she screamed, in agony and in pain.

I covered my ears and closed my eyes. There was no way I wanted to see the birth of a child. No. Way. Slowly, I opened his eyes. But instead of there being nurses and doctors around the bed of a woman, there was just her.

She had a tired look on her face, but the widest smile. Her brown hair was tangled and knotted, and her face was a splotchy red. But she was happy, more happier than she had ever been in her life. In her arms, she held a tiny infant. The infant was a he, wrapped in a fuzzy green blanket. His eyes were closed as he slept against the mother's chest. And the mother, she just adored him.

The brown haired lady rocked back and forth slowly, singing a sweet song her mother would sing to her. Even though she knew her child would never hear nor remember her words, it was all in the moment.

I felt happy, too. Something about looking at the lady and the baby made me feel content. Maybe it was because it was new life, or maybe it was just the relationship and connection that I never got to feel. Whatever it was, I felt joyful.

Suddenly, I felt warmth cover my hand. I looked to my left to find Yeosang, looking at me. His big doe eyes were a warm color of brown as he stared up at me. Yeosang had no smile though, and instead it was an expressionless look. But I liked the feeling of the smaller boys hand. It was tiny and cute, and fit perfectly with mine.

"Why... um... do you have my hand?" I asked.

This made the reaper smile a little. "Because I can."

I did not know how to react properly to this. It could be the beauty of the smaller male or it could be that I never really had dated anybody before, but he just nodded very violenty. Yeosang giggled at this action.

"Gosh, you make it so awkward," Yeosang says.

I just laugh. "Sorry."

He playfully hits me, grinning, "Don't apologize."

"Why are we here?" I then decide to question.

This made the reaper pause. It was quite obvious that he hesitated, as if he did not want to tell the other why they were here.

"That is you," Yeosang finally says.

Huh? I did not get it. That was me? But how? If I was right here, then how could that be me? I looked back at the woman on the bed, and so suddenly my heart clenched.

An aching pain soared through my body. It hurt, and though nothing physical had happened, it was the mental illusion. That was my mother. I had never seen my mother in real life.

And she was beautiful. She had matted brown hair and the typical brown eyes, yet she was beautiful. She stood so proudly against the paleness of this room.

My heart clenched again.

And the song she sang, one she sang so quietly, barely to be heard. It was a sweet melody that I remembered oh so very well. His dad would hum it in the car during the night, when he thought I was asleep. He would sing it as he absentmindedly cleaned the house, or when he was taking a shower. And sometimes too I caught myself humming the song.

And his heart clenched again.

That green blanket had been burned years ago, but he remembered it. I had kept it for the longest time. My father always wished it away though. But I never wanted to get rid of it. It was my blanket. And clearly, it was also my moms.

I had never spoken to his mother.

And now I could.

Yet, my heart clenched again.

I tried to step forward, but Yeosang held me back. I just wanted to say hello, or at least get a closer look.

"Stay here." Yeosang says.

"Just let me walk over there, once," I ask.

"I cannot."

"Why?"

"Because I can't. It is a rule. You cannot interfere with the past, even if you tried. But sometimes, Seonghwa, it is better to watch from a distance."

"But why?"

Yeosang took a deep breath. "You will see."

That slightly scared me.

I turned back to his mother and watched her some more. There was no need to respond to Yeosang, though honestly, I just did not want to. If I could not interfere with the things happening, why could I not walk forward? It made no sense, and I just wanted answers. These questions though just always seemed to be undefined.

It felt like I had been staring forever. My mind was blank but my chest felt like a string had been tied to it and was pulling me forward. Oh how I yearned to be hugged by my mother, as all of my friends were. I had never experienced these basic things, and maybe now I could, just without my mother knowing.

And then, weakly, the mother whispered to her baby, "I love you.

"I don't know you all too well, but I'm going to get to know you. We are going to have a lifetime of joy. A lifetime of happiness, little Seonghwa. I know you don't know what I'm saying, but I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

This made my eyes water. They filled with tears. All I wanted was to hear her say those words to me. The real me.

My mother squeezed her eyes shut. She would be lying to herself if she said did not feel the burning pain in her chest, and the heavy weight in her head. The woman ached so badly, and all over did she feel that way. She continued to rock though, telling herself it will be okay, and of course, telling the baby it would be okay.

But then, the heart monitor beeped. It was a noisy beep, one that disrupted the peacefulness of the room. One that was, in short, detrimental. It was just a singular beep at first. Though, more and more kept coming. Another and another until eventually it was just beeps.

The mother looked at the child with knowing eyes. She continued to rock back and forth, muttering incoherent words. Her eyes had watered up as she feared what was going to happen next. She wanted nothing more than to be told it was going to be okay, but in this situation, she could not.

Her head pounded, and her chest pulsed. She hurt.

"I love you," she whispered to Seonghwa.

She was shaking lividly.

"I love you." She said again.

She rocked side to side, as her heart rate dropped. She felt tired.

"I love you," she says yet again, wondering why she cannot stop. She felt like she had to say it.

"I," a deep breath. My mother could not breathe, "I love you."

She felt weak. She felt like she would drop Seonghwa at any moment, but she held on tight.

"I-" she couldn't speak. She began to shake violently. Her eyes rolled back into her head as whole body shook. The monitor was yelling like crazy now, as sudden nurses and doctors appeared. The room had turned chaotic so quickly.

And I did not know what was happening. Baby him had been taken out immediately. I wanted to go after myself, but the shock from everything that was happening had me frozen in place. I felt stuck, like I had been glued to the tiled floor.

My mother, though, kept shaking. She kept on and on, until suddenly, she stopped. Followed it were steady beeps of the monitor. The nurses and doctors in the room sighed in relief, flittering out of the room leaving only one of two. I felt myself let out a breath I had no idea I was holding. My eyes watered with relief as I looked to Yeosang. Yeosang though, just had a cold, cold stare. It was lifeless, and it was odd

Disrupting the heavy silence, my mother whispered weakly, "I love you."

Her eyes were closed, as her neck began to give beneath her. She felt nothing yet she felt everything. The only thing on her mind was tiny Seonghwa.

"Seonghwa," she whispered.

Yes, I wanted to mutter.

"It's time to go." She says.

She was weak. And the beeps kept getting slower, and slower, and slower. It felt as if my heart was too.

"I love you," she says one last time. She meant it. She always meant it.

And the brown hair lady shared her last breaths with the world. Her silky brown hair, and warm brown eyes, never seemed as tired and cold before this moment. She had lived a good run. A brother, a sister, and of course a loving husband. And then her beautiful baby. She had bought a house. And she had painted a room, a nice dark blue color. She decorated it with matching baby items and filled it with toys and plushes. The excitement that filled her when she thought of pushing her child in a stroller around the park, or bringing him to an amusement part for the first time. She was ready for his first day of school, and for his last. She was ready to become a grandmother and she was ready to retire. She was ready to travel the world, and she was ready to live her life. She was ready.

But not in this lifetime. This lifetime was over.

And so the heart monitor gave its final beep. One so long, one so eerie.

She had died.

And I was glad Yeosang was holding my hand.

a/n: the next chapter will definitely be happier.

when you realize you wrote this whole entire chapter in third person when ever other chapter was in first person so you had to fix it (oops)

anyways, imma go now.
today's my last marching band competition, and the last show I'll march this year :') ITS SAD I HATE GROWING UP

ok bye