sometimes i wonder if it's really that great that i seem to know a different side of you, the side that you don't show the world. i feel special at times having the privilege to be able to know things others don't, but because i'm not really sure which you're more comfortable being. we don't talk about those stuffs, probably because you know i don't know shit about them, probably because you know i don't really like them. but i don't want to be that person who you're afraid that will judge you, because i know, or i think i know, what your biggest fear is. i'm probably thinking of these because i miss you again, but telling you that feels so empty lately. you think of the past sometimes too, you told me so. you miss it. i miss it too. the thing is  now i get confused when you say you miss me, because there are parts of me now (and probably then too) that you haven't seen. so i guess it goes both ways, but i'd rather to never know if you've realized that too. yes i want to be that person for you, but it seems that you're getting tired of being stuck with your old self for me too. so i don't really know. one thing i know is that there's still this gut-wrenching feeling whenever i think of you.
i thought i'd moved on.