I just slapped Do. A hard one, I believed.

Gosh, I don't even know what I want by know. The kiss was so sudden that the slap came like an instinct. We shouldn't do this. I shouldn't stay here. I must not.

The kiss alone could ruin my reputation. Unmarried woman can't have history with man. That's an unwritten law. Everyone knows that. I know that. And still I can't bring myself to stand up. my knees gave up on standing up. My heart is still beating fast from the kiss, and I hate the way I am reacting right now.

Do held is slapped cheek. His head is still tilted at where I left him at, eyes a bit widened. He is shocked by his own action. And soon, he stood up, lifting me up with him.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled and left.

The last image I saw of him is his wobblily legs as he walked off. He looked vulnerable and even though I didn't see it, he was crying. Deep inside.

It took me around twenty minutes to get back on my feet. I don't think I'm that much better than Do but at least I don't feel as horrible as he felt. My hands trembled. I love him. Yes. But does that mean I get to be with him? No.

My destiny will soon be bound with the crown prince.

In the next few days, I haven't seen one bit of Do's sign. He was away. That's what I was told. He is avoiding me. I understood why he did that. Who would like to see the woman you love engaged with another man? Who would like to receive a rejection from the woman that you know for sure loves you back?

He should find a woman who deserves his kindness. Not me. Never me.

The crown prince also did not bother to come to my guest room. After that day, he must has an awful lot of disgusts for his soon to be bride. That's good. I don't want to greet anyone with a fake smile anyway.

My daily routine seems to be the only thing that stayed the same. I woke up, got dressed, and sitting on the chair, looking pretty.

Suddenly, my door got a knock.

"Who is that?" I called loudly.

The guest hesitated a bit before answered. "It's me. Prince Sam."

I allowed the maid to let him in. Tea was poured into two teacups. The atmosphere was still. So still that I felt the déjà vu from last time. The crown prince still has that polite smile on his face that makes me wondered is all he does is being polite.

I really don't understand men.

"What brings your Highness here today?" I broke the silence.

"I believe that Do had told you about our engagement." He stopped and waited for my reaction. I sat still and he took it as a 'yes'. "I will be frank. I don't want to marry you. I am aware about what your Father and Uncle are planning about. About the throne. About this engagement. So, I don't expect the same to go to you. You seem so naive for their plan." His tone sounded scornful.

Anger flared in me but it's nothing I can do. He was merely stating facts. I truly was clueless about their plan.

"You are right, your Highness. I didn't expect this marriage at all. I was clueless." I admitted. "But even if I knew back then, what is there that I can change?"

I stared to his eyes. His eyes were calm. No. It's not calm. How could it be calm if all you can see is a cloudy pitch black?

Prince Sam signed, collecting his thoughts.

"Look, if you were starting about woman's stand in society, I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do. I'm merely just a king. I know this dynasty will come to an end. Maybe in my era, maybe in a couple of years later. Maybe in my child's era. I respect women. But with the little power I have in hand. I couldn't do anything so please don't worsen our relationship any more than it already is."

"Yes, your Highness. So when is this marriage going to celebrate?"

"I don't really care. You can pick the date. It's your biggest date after all. But I have to say. I want it to be just a small ceremony, as the war is still going in the court."

I nodded. It is my biggest day after all. The crown prince can marry more wife when he became the King. But I can only marry once, unless he died.

"I want to ask first. Do my Father and Uncle aware that I knew about this engagement?"

Prince Sam shook his head. "I only told them that I am 'proposing' to you today. If I said that you knew, Do will be punished right?"

"Right." I nodded, avoiding his eye contact. Now, a mention of Do can break my heart countless time.

The crown prince studied my expression. At last, he mumbled.

"I would not interfere if you had a lover."

Then he walked off from my room. His cup of tea has been drained while mine is still full. I took a long time thinking about the engagement. Would I be happy with the crown prince? I'm not sure. But will I find peace there? I think that I will. My soon to be husband is a good man after all.