this year, he turned 23, and she was 19. those years of youthful vitality were marred by torment, crime, and loss. those twenties should have been the most beautiful chapter of a person's life, but perhaps fate had other plans for him. and she had to witness the flames consuming him, turning him to ashes right before her eyes.

she has lost so much, and now she have lost the person who "maybe" loved her as deeply as breathing. he wanted to protect her, yet the cruelty of destiny chose to take him away. he could do nothing. he should not have met such an end. but because of the promise he made to her, he paid the ultimate price. what was that promise worth?

he was a rebel. simply existing felt like a crime. he was impulsive, hot-headed, always raising his voice, declaring he would show no mercy, making no exceptions for anyone.
so, for whom did he give up smoking? for whom did he only indulge in whiskey when the moment allowed? what a tragic deception. he adored the rich, sweet taste of that scottish elixir, relished the calm it brought him as he inhaled. but for her, he was willing to sacrifice everything...

he was also fierce, despising betrayal. yet when she left, perhaps he felt both anger and a longing. he still wanted to hold on to her, didn't he? he even softened his tone—something he had never done with anyone before—when she reunited after two long years. was that his way of treating her as "family"? it certainly didn't seem so. perhaps he had "accidentally" fallen deeply in love with her, a flame ignited in his heart each moment he spent with her, even without his knowing...

in the end, when he departed, he still couldn't articulate his feelings for her. was she a friend? a relative? a kindred spirit?
he only wished that they had met sooner. perhaps then, he and her would have found their way back to each other...

the last time they met, then all will be in the past. the past will become eternity.

"we don't have much time left..."

"..."

"but even so, there's something I've longed to share with you."

"if only our paths had crossed sooner, my love for you would have blossomed even more. alas, my life has often felt like a stormy sea. no one has ever embraced the essence of my soul, except you—the first and only one to truly see me. perhaps you are the most exquisite gift that fate has bestowed upon me, a balm for the heartache i've endured. if only i hadn't lost my father that fateful year, perhaps i would have met you sooner. who knows? we might have woven a tapestry of forever together..."

and then, on that chilly summer night, his heart felt as light as if a heavy weight had been lifted from it. she rushed into his embrace, holding him tightly, as if fearing she would lose him—if only for a fleeting moment—before they parted ways forever, in two distant worlds...

"i'm sorry... until now, no one has ever cherished and loved me as you do. there were times i felt engulfed by loneliness and despair, but then you appeared—the one i believed could transform my life. perhaps you are the most precious treasure i possess in this world. i'm not sure if i love you anymore, but maybe i am like you. if only we had met earlier, who knows? you might have been the one i adored..."

he smiled softly, his gaze as warm as the sun breaking through the cold night sky. in her heart, two emotions intertwined: joy at witnessing that smile again, and an aching regret, for this might be the last glimpse of her sun. it radiated warmth still, but was gradually dimming...

he collapsed in her arms, and with the last flicker of strength, he whispered, his voice as gentle as autumn breezes: "thank you... so much"

and just like that, his beautiful amber eyes slowly closed, never to awaken again. at least he departed peacefully, cradled by the one he cherished above all—his most treasured soul.

the one left behind could not return, while the one who remained bore the weight of sorrow. the longing that had built up within her overflowed; she wept, a cascade of emotions like never before. never had her tears fallen for someone with such raw intensity; it felt as if she had lost the very core of her being. he embodied all that was good in her world, and yet... she had allowed it to slip through her fingers. but at least he rested in peace, embraced by the one who truly loved him. perhaps, deep down, she hoped he could feel that love too:

"why... won't you admit it? i know there's more you wanted to say..."

memories flooded back to a golden autumn day, her birthday—a day she hadn't thought much of, yet he had remembered. she recalled the moment he gifted her a book she had yearned for, his face aglow with those bright amber eyes, radiant as a late summer afternoon. she read it eagerly, yet it was the final line that captured her attention, like a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. there, inscribed, were words that left her heart racing: "i don't expect you to read this, but i wish to say: Dedicated to the one I love—K. September 15, xx."

her heart danced with confusion. Ddd he... love her? Or was it merely a jest born from their bond? initially, she thought it was just a playful display of familial affection, but when he confessed that had they met sooner, he might have loved her, she realized the truth. he had not been joking; it was a truth he struggled to admit. As the memories faded, she instinctively clung to his still figure, biting her lip to stifle her sobs, whispering softly,

"if only we could meet again, in another life, where fate smiled upon us earlier—would you still love me then?"

in response, there was only a profound silence, a void filled with the echoes of a distant battlefield. she had lost her light. Yet, she would carry his warmth forever in her heart, like the enduring glow of a brilliant sunrise...

---

the perspective of a sinner facing death, in the hands of an angel.

my once tall and strong body now felt fragile, resting weakly in her lap, surrounded by the scent of blood and the acrid smoke of battle that clouded my mind. i thought my end was near. just the two of us amidst the wreckage, we shared the feelings we had buried for so long. i transformed myself for her, leaving my old self behind, willing to lay down my life for the promise i made. my life had already been filled with sorrow—was i truly meant to perish in this desolation? it couldn't be. as i awaited death, something unexpected reached down, lifting me from the depths of despair.

i saw her smile.

it was the first time since i met her that i witnessed her smile—so pure and radiant. her delicate lips curved softly, and her eyes, those amethyst jewels, held a gentleness that melted my heart. the light of her fluttering lashes danced above her captivating gaze. her familiar hair whispered in the breeze as she tenderly stroked my head, her fingertips brushing my lips and cheeks in sweet, fleeting touches. each caress sent warmth through me, momentarily banishing the pain until my eyes could no longer remain open and slowly surrendered to darkness. i felt her tears falling softly on my face, and i couldn't bear to think of how beautiful she would look, even with those tears glistening on her cheeks. i love her, so deeply. i want to protect her with every ounce of my being. even if i must face death, i want to shield her from harm, yet now it felt impossible.

the first time i saw that enchanting smile, i knew i had fallen for her completely—her beauty, her spirit, everything about her captivated me. if i cannot keep her safe, then at the very least, i want to guard her smile. i want to see her smile often, to bask in the graceful beauty of her joy like the moon shining in daylight. i long to hold her close, to kiss her sweet lips and whisper that i will always be here, always by her side. i want to gaze into her eyes, lost in their depths like watching a starry sky from a window.

in the end, i realized that she was the most precious treasure in my life—not as an object, but because i was incredibly fortunate to have encountered someone as extraordinary as her. what a bittersweet moment, for the first time i saw her smile would also be the last. i slowly closed my eyes, surrendering to the quiet, feeling the world fade away around me...