When I woke up, the world was flooded with light. I immediately shut my eyes in response, due to the sensitivity of my eyes after being trapped in nothingness for so long. Slowly, I tried to pry open my eyelids to let the light seep in, all while wondering whether or not I was in the afterlife. 

Instead, fortunately, I found myself staring at a pair of bright LED lights after I'd done my best to adjust. They were blinding white with a queer luminance about them, and were almost too much to bear in my current drowsy stupor. Despite this, I endured the pain for a minute, then forcibly opened my eyes and tried to crane my neck to see where I was. 

My breath hitched in my throat as I saw Gang Orca directly to my right. His jaw was slightly agape as his black eyes bore into mine, not even bothering to hide elements of surprise in the pearlescent dots. We stared at each other for a moment, until the pro hero's gaze flooded with relief as he blinked, successfully snapping out of his trance. He then immediately asked me if I was alright.

With more effort than it should have taken, I parted my lips to murmur out a feeble response, but instead found that there were no words to be spoken -- my throat was dry and I started to cough. They wracked my body, causing my chest to rise and my limbs to twitch, my figure nearly seizing up from the severity of the reaction.

And oh, what horrible, horrible agony it was.

Magma had made a home for itself within my bloodstream. The sensation of slow-moving blood pulsating within my veins, daring to clot with every twitch and shake of my bones was terrifying. My nerves stood on end as my capillaries blazed, sending hot sparks to meddle with my eyes, nearly causing me to pass out in the process. My vision blurred as I saw stars, colorful static melding with a certain blackness that covered the sight of my mentor in front of me. I felt his hand hold mine, squeezing in urgency as his muffled voice seemed to begged for me to stay conscious. 

"(L/N), (L/N) stay with me," he said, his voice wavering, "Calm down, everything is okay. Everything is okay, you're safe here." I wanted to believe him but I didn't know how. I had no control of my body and could not react because of the additional suffering it would bring. I could not see the future, the future in which I was alright because the vision was clouded by pain.

It was hopeless.

I just waited until the episode had lapsed, and I was left laying in my hospital bed, covered in sweat with my skin burned raw as if I had just ironed it. With a clenched jaw and aching limbs, I attempted to take control of my breathing pattern, commanding my lungs to take in the oxygen that they had rejected before.

As I calmed down, I was aware of the coldness of Gang Orca's hand as he held mine, his smooth skin rubbing against my calloused palms. I tensed at the sensation of cold blubber on my burning hands, softly cursing at the feeling. 

It felt so inviting, so gentle. It was something that made me want to believe the words that he spoke so freely. But I no longer had the capacity for trust and wholehearted belief, no matter who a person might've been to me in the past.

It was a bitter but necessary pill to swallow.

After the thought, I gave a small sigh, my half-lidded eyes staring at the ceiling as I mustered the energy to ask a simple question.

"Where am I?" I managed, "Where am I safe?"

The first thing I heard was the sharp intake of air as Gang Orca rushed to answer my inquiry. There was no hesitation in his response. He replied immediately, as if he weren't aware of the predicament at hand. I stilled as he spoke, my fingers slipping out of his grasp, going completely limp by my side out of sheer shock. 

"You're at the Musutafu Hospital. There are-" As soon as he mentioned the inner city's hospital, I broke down. His voice was suddenly drowned out by a wave of silence. 

Tears suddenly started to descend from my widened eyes, dripping down the sides of my face and into the small divets of my temples. The hotness seared my cheekbones, leaving trails of red in their wake. 

I did not blink, I did not move. It took all my energy to even fathom what had just dawned upon me. 

I wound up back in the same place that I had tried so desperately to get away from. 

There was nothing more, nothing less -- just the undeniable fact that all my efforts had gone to waste. What had I pushed myself so hard for? What purpose did I have to pass out, exhausted, in the slums and swells of Musutafu? 

In questioning my motives, the scene flashed before my bleary eyes. 

I remembered the skyscraper that had cast shadows over the neighborhood, the area trapped darkness. It was forever condemned to live in hiding from the Sun, in the barren coldness where litter was strewn across the ground and gravel was always kicked up to form clouds of dust. It was a place where, in such contrast to the higher estates and business-makers buildings, seemed like a ghost town. 

It was a pitiful sight.

The memory shattered soon after that notion as I felt the hero's breath cease to fan against my forearm, indicating that he was finished speaking. The edges of my lips curled as my mouth began to move on its own accord, pushing out frail syllables with an unfastidious precision.

"Did you," it croaked, "Did you know?"

I felt the hero tense up. 

He knew what I was referring to.

And now he was hesitating.

"I'm sorry." My lips parted as a smile strained my cheeks, causing my dry skin to crack and peel, flakes of my flesh lifting to stretch the tenderness underneath. The bottoms of my eyes crinkled as my mouth quivered, catching stray tears as they made their way down my face.

It was funny, how I grinned. I did not prepare for laughter or giggle at a sense of hilarity in the situation. I did not find his words odd, conflicting, nor unbelievable. 

I just want to say that I understand.

Through the tears and hidden sentiment, I saw him. I saw him but I said nothing.

Gang Orca smiled. 

"I'm always here if you need me," he spoke.

I see you too.

The room was quiet.

"Should I go?"

It's hard to live, sometimes. 

Silence. 

Gang Orca kept smiling.

And I know you're conflicted. It's painful. 

"I'm sorry." 

But I meant what I said.

Then he stood, walked to the door, glanced at me for the last time, and left.

__

shorter chapter this week :( sorry

on a lighter note, i'm going to try and update this novel every sunday! expect weekly updates (if i can keep up with that ehe)