"jungkook, are you showering anytime soon?" ah, why is he asking that? it's making me nervous.

"uh, yeah. why?" please ask to join me. please ask to join me.

"i'll go after you then. i had to chase after this prof for like half an hour before meeting you at the subway 'cause he was being annoying about my grades. i'm so tired and sweaty."

"you could join me." i say pointblank, turning around to look at his reaction.

he looks shocked and blushes before he turns away to take off his shoes. "you're funny." he chuckles.

"yeah, i was kidding." no, i fucking wasn't.

i go into my room and start taking my clothes to change in after shower. i walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me. i let the water run in the tub. i feel like taking a short bath and maybe drowning myself. i don't know.

instead, i take my phone from my pocket and go on void, an app i use to talk to random people.

godsent
ayo

partywizard
yo whatsup

godsent
how you doin?

partywizard
had a good day at school so im good

partywizard
wbu

godsent
thats good to hear and honestly my day was uneventful like usual

partywizard
nice

godsent
how is that nice ; ^:

partywizard
im kidding lmfao

partywizard
hey do u wanna play league tonight?

partywizard
you haven't played with me for like a week now

godsent
it's only been four days...

partywizard
that's a week to me >:(

godsent
ight well i cant again

partywizard
whyyyyy T_T

partywizard
are you avoiding me?

godsent
no lol

godsent
why would i have answered then?

partywizard
maybe u accidentally opened the chat and didnt want to completely ignore me :)

godsent
LOL

godsent
i've been having a hard time with school 'cause i got exams this week

partywizard
ugh boring :(

godsent
sorry jimin

partywizard
you're so mean to me tae ;(

partwizard
jk

partywizard
i understand. i just like bugging you lol don't take me seriously

partywizard
i hope you do well on your exams

godsent
thanks jimin

godsent
i hope you have a good night

partywizard
you too :D

i put my phone down and finally get in the tub. i wonder how long i can keep this up. pretending to be someone else to my very best friend. a part of me feels guilty but it feels really exhilarating to talk to him when he doesn't know it's me. i can be whoever i want, talk however i want and ask him anything i want without it affecting the friendship we already have.

i know it's selfish. but i only intend to do this until he tells me how he feels about me.

or should i say, until he tells "tae" how he feels about me. i'm too much of a coward to confess the truth.