hey. i'm not doing the best here. my great grandfather just died and i couldn't be more upset. with all the different things that have piled up during 2019, it's just getting to be too much. i need a break from this, i need a break from kpop, but i know that isn't going to happen and in a couple months someone else will get involved in a controversy. i need a break from reality, my family is very close to each other, you could definitely tell the love he had for my family and i, and he always find things to his best extent and joyfully. he was a strong believer in god and now he's in a better place with his wife. he was 96 years old and he could lift his leg over his head. it all went downhill 2 months ago and he got cancer, it runs in the family. he got surgery and removed it successfully. but then after most old people do after surgery, he was struggling to eat, stay awake, and talk. i didn't write this so you could pity me, please don't. i wrote it so you could understand why i won't be active for a couple more days, i feel like i wrote more updates than chapters at this point, 2019 is the worst year.