Recently I read of people claiming that "Splatoon 2 is over" and of others whining that Splatoon 3 better come out soon because the final update has been about 2 months ago.
Very cool guys, very cool. Tell that the creepy Japanese who still play the original Splatoon and would destroy you by blinking.

Anyway I decided to write about Splatoon 2 and what happened, because why not.

Whoever comes up to this point and doesn't know of Splatoon 2 either can leave or adore the tale of a fat ugly cat deciding the fate of a dystopian world of anime cephalopod humanoids whose purpose in life is biological warfare on ink basis.

(Don't take it personal Judd. You don't understand human language anyway.)

If this sentence was not enough of a warning, I can't help you.

Once per month, all Splatoon 2 players used to compete against each other (in their respective region) in an event called Splatfest. 
Reason?
Figuring out which is the in-universe truth to a question that may be as deep as which way a toilet roll should face or as edgy as whether you'd rather be a hero or a villain.
One time, we even had a Battle Royale of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But that is a story for another day.
(Not really. I just would keep talking about how the best turtle won and spam pictures.)

   
Here in Europe, the June 2019 splatfest theme was Kids vs Grown-Ups.

I knew Team Grown-Ups would win for simple reasons.

First, the most important one:

1) This is your screen if you lose a battle.

This is your screen if you win a battle.

That's your team mascots for this splatfest. 

Yes Marina. That's awful that Nintendo would use cuteness  to lure people into choosing the losing team while announcing their fate.
Not only that, they let the unfortunate souls carry their sign of defeat on their obligatory team shirts during the splatfest, essentially making people take the L and wear it proudly for a whole day.

Need I say more?

But it's also masterful trolling.
Even with that little extra of Judd and Li'l Judd being in the exact poses they assume on your screens when you win or lose, with the exception of Judd laughing at your face if you're on  Team Kid because you do not realise what is happening to you.

Such wonderful attention to detail is what we all should aspire to attain in whatever we do.

Now the more mundane reasons:

2) Team Kid would have more less experienced players, namely kids, specifically the 10-year-old variant.
Surprising, I know.

3) Team Kid would be more popular overall for having the cuter mascot, having the prettier colour and the fact that the old trailer went "Y0U'Re A K1d NoW yOU'rE A SqUId NOW" for about a million times and it became a meme.
(We at Splatoon are very low-maintenance with our memes. Same goes for our puns.
And our internet connections. And our weapons largely made out of random trash, cheap neon plastic, and scraps from the junkyard.
Eh... to be honest, the entirety of the budget went on paying for the game, now we're just improvising really.
But if you like fighting with exploding crayons, rapid-fire fountain pens, bamboo sticks and dirty toilets, you should definitely join us.)

4) It's common knowledge that the vast majority of the time, the team with the most votes loses in the other two categories that are about the actual results of who was best at colourfully vandalising the map.

Moral of the story:

Whether kid or grown-up - this game will treat you like a baby.

Anyway, that's old news brought to you by Pearl and Marina, the members of a band called Off The Hook who are placed in the temporary position of oracles in their world.

Here's what the final Splatfest was about. The important part starts at 0:40, before there is just an unnecessary attempt to make it look epic.

(Warning: If you have already taken drugs shortly before this in order to combat your increasing headache, skip the video. Mixed consum is even more retarded than normal consum.)

https://youtu.be/PEk-Ib0n2Uc

Remember how I said drugs are bad but mixing different kinds is even worse?

Well that means you can probably take another dosage of the same stuff to understand it better without completely blowing your brains out. 

https://youtu.be/_Zjj21CiUyM

Well wasn't that something? It's okay, you don't have to say anything. The image of your confused face was totally worth it.

To some of you that may be hard to understand, but lots of people got really hyped about this.

Perhaps you get it a little better if you know that the results of the final Splatfest were said to have an effect on what the next game in the series will be like, since this was also the case with the final Splatfest of the first Splatoon game.
I did not really bother to search whether that is true or not, but everyone believes it so might as well play with the thought.

Would you choose a world of chaos or a world of order if either would result in an apocalypse?

I chose Order because if there is a flawed order, it also has weakpoints that you can use to pick it apart. You can't attack chaos, that is just contributing to it.
Also I liked the colour and the sci-fi theme better, and I was really convinced it was basically the same as Kid vs Grown-Up except no fancy trolling this time.

Well I was wrong and Team Order lost all the way.
I was kind of confused, but apparently everyone and the skilled people just like chaos a lot and think it makes for a better story than order because order is "boring".
Sure whatever. But next time your organs get mashed up, don't run to me to cry. Then again your inner disorder would probably render you incapable of attempting that action, so I shouldn't be mean.

Judd has chosen Chaos to be the future of this world, what could it mean?
Will we be overrun by the Salmonids, an intelligent and very aggressive fish race that dwells in the polluted seas nearby except when not?
Given that we hunt them as a part-time job given to us by a sentient wooden bear who claims to want to build a safer Inkopolis for all of us, which we never questioned because we wanted quick cash, that is pretty much what should happen. 

But then again, that is the general opinion out there and what Nintendo likes to do with that is throwing it in the trash, cooking it a while and coming out with something different.

So what if all the other sea creatures who we share Inkopolis with decide that they have enough of our antics and simply throw us out?
I don't even know why they tolerate us in the first place. Any major business is run by jellyfish while all we ever do is acting like we own the place and demolish public areas on a regular basis which they praise us for reasons that nobody really gets.

The best reason I can think of is that we are sentient bioweapons to them, but something more easy to control to replace us would be very convenient.
Perhaps something bioengineered out of Salmonid DNA.
There must be a reason Mr Grizzco aka weird wooden bear who somehow is our boss wants us to collect an absurd amount of their eggs.
Then his promise of making Inkopolis a safer place would actually make sense.  

But in all fairness, it is just as likely that Mr Grizzco is simply powered by fishy omelets.

I don't think that at this point anyone knows whether there will be a third Splatoon.
Seeing how large the demand is, it would be kind of silly to leave it be, but that is the same what the guys who stan Half-Life 3 thought before it became a meme.

Splatoon 2 is a colourful mess with a mad energy. I have mad energy as well and I can confirm that this is what it is like.
Alright, the game is more fishy,  but otherwise pretty accurate.
I feel understood by its concept in a way most people I know never did.* 
You just run in and paint the town red for no particular reason. 
Alright, you don't usually have red ink, but I wanted to make a pun.

*That people do not understand that kind of energy is not their fault. They just have this condition called being reasonable.

But even in a chaotic game like that, just throwing colour around will not be enough to win.
(Unless you're wielding a toilet perhaps, it will make everyone with a sane mind want to stay away from you.)
Seeing that mad places like that have rules that will help you is a way to show that contrary to the popular opinion, order is not a senseless tool others try to use on you to make life dull.
It is the way things connect to form something bigger, and it can be in your favour if you understand well enough and act accordingly. There is nothing to worry about in it.

See, Splatoon is a beautifully weird game. People can say that it is over, but those words are devoid of information or anything useful.
Just have fun.

Oh yeah I might make a new book where I write about games.
This stuff is very spammable as you see.

Hm. Seems like you read this to the end. I guess you are right saying you're kind of a weirdo. But in a good way.