I'm not even going to start by addressing this letter to you. I don't deserve even an ounce of that. I don't deserve anything from you.

I fucked up, Richard. I fucked up big time. And I know that. But I also don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this. I don't even know if I can fix this.

I don't think I can.

I don't know what I was thinking yesterday. I just felt so alone. You felt so distant. You were always going away on business trips and I understand that your job requires you to travel a lot but the days without you seem to drag on and the days with you seem like a fog. Like you there but you weren't.

Like I was there but I wasn't.

I felt so lonely without you and Sean just so happened to be there.

I wish I could say that he had taken advantage of me but I know that it's far from the truth. I know that a part of me wanted it, even thought my consciousness was screaming at me to stop.

I'm not expecting you to forgive me at all.

But I hope you'll understand. Or maybe you won't. I don't know.

Just, please, don't leave me.

Please.