ANA

As if the encounter with my lovely new English tutor wasn't enough, I get back to my dorm to find another surprise awaiting me.

"What in tarnation are you doing on my bed?" I yell at him, skipping the pleasantry of a proper greeting.

Roger looks up at me from where he sits, blinking with feigned innocence. "Waiting for you, obviously."

My jaw drops for the second time today. I put my hands on my hips and stare him down. "Do you even realize how creepy this looks?"

He shakes his head, changing his doe eyed expression to one of mock apology. He's a master when it comes to masks. "I simply wanted to be here when you got back so that we could go on our tour."

"Our...tour?" I say, uselessly. I really don't have the energy or the will to deal with him right now.

"Yes," he responds. "Our...tour," he mimics me.

I sigh, irritation taking over. "Look, going on a tour with you is at the bottom of the list of things I would like to do right now. In fact, let me quickly check-" I hold up an imaginary list and pretend to scan it closely. "Oh, that's right, it's not even on the list. So, get out. Now."

He chuckles. "We aren't children anymore, Ana, so let's not be childish."

I groan and roll my eyes at him. "Don't talk to me about being childish when you've gone back to stealing my toys."

His amusement only grows, as does a smile on his face. "You're talking about the alarm clock, aren't you? Come on, Ana, I was doing you a favour."

I ignore his stupid claim. "Stop smiling at me like that," I order.

He actually tries. But something about this whole situation must be so funny to him that he fails and bursts out laughing. I do my best not to punch him right in the nose, because I wouldn't impress my father by being charged with assault.

Not that I intend to try and impress him.

"I don't even know why you're here or what you intend to do by getting on my bad side, which you were already on, by the way, but you need to get out. Right now." I tell him.

Suddenly, Roger sobers. He stands up and holds out a hand to me. "Look," he says, his seriousness not wavering when I cast a dubious glance at his outstretched hand. "I know you must have had a not so pleasant day, if the look on your face is anything to go by, but I'd like to make it better."

I stagger back a little. Finding Roger on my bed in my room may have been unexpected, but this really steals the show. He wants to help me? He's trying to be nice to me? Wasn't he the one who tried to make my day not so pleasant?

"Let's go somewhere else," he suggests, bringing me back to reality as he takes a step forward and grabs my hand. "Let's go visit places you haven't been to before. Let me take your mind off everything else, off this bothersome thing we call life. You won't have to think of your father and you won't have to think about what happened. And Ana, I wanted to say that I am truly sorry about what happened."

A stab of pain pierces my heart and I pull my hand from his. He's talking about my mother. Tears well in my eyes, as they always do when I'm reminded of her again, but I refuse to give in to them. This is Roger. I cannot cry in front of him, no matter how much sorrow I feel.

"Where will we go?" I ask him, my voice croaky.

Half of me is screaming, what the what are you doing? The other half is curious to find out just how much my father and Roger's father paid him to be civil to me. I know this can't be out of his own good will. Surely not.

He shrugs, letting go of my hand. "Anywhere you want to go."

~ ~ ~

Not half an hour later, Roger and I sit in his yellow convertible Porsche, on our way to Revere Beach.

The ocean has always been somewhere I can clear my mind and feel a little more at peace. When I was a child and my father was a happier man than he is now, he would take my mom and I to the holiday house we had near Quincy Beach to spend a few weeks with us there. Those holidays were the highlights of my childhood. Hunting for starfish and shells, running ahead of my parents who were holding hands as they walked across the sand, splashing in the salty, cold ocean water- just being a little girl in a simple world.

The world is no longer simple. I have a sneaking suspicion it never was.

Only now, as we near the beach and I can smell the familiar smell of the sea through the open car window, do I realize how much I miss those times. When my father smiled more often. When I felt carefree.

When my mother was alive.

I turn to Roger, who wears his shades and a calm expression as the wind ruffles his brown hair. And I remember what I was mulling over earlier. What could have possibly convinced him to be kind to me?
We both know that our fathers would love it if we were to wed. Two powerful families, joined in the unison of a marriage. Both of them rich and educated.
But the very idea of one day becoming Roger's wife makes me feel queasy, and neither of us have ever actually considered it. Or at least, that was always something I had always been sure of.
Did Roger's father perhaps say something that changed his mind?

No, I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it.

He catches me watching him out of the corner of the eye and he smiles. "What's going through that mind of yours?" He asks amiably.

I quickly look away, irritated with myself that he caught me looking. "Why are you being nice to me, Roger?"

He lets out a little sigh. "Still don't trust me, huh?"

"Never." I vow, both to him and myself.

Taking one hand off the steering wheel to run it through his hair, he takes a breath and then exhales it. "I had a brother once. An older brother."

Allowing my eyes to rest on him again, I wait for him to continue. This is news to me.

"He didn't die, if that's what you're thinking. He just...left one day. And we never heard from him again. Timothy was my hero, but heroes aren't supposed to abandon you."

I feel a sharp pang of surprise and sympathy at this. I never knew. "I'm sorry," I tell him, not knowing what else to say. "How come he's never mentioned?"

"My parents choose to never speak of him. It's like he never existed, and after he left us, it seemed they were so angry with him that they would prefer that it appeared that way to the rest of the world as well." He glances at me for a moment. "I don't know what it's like to have someone you care for die, not yet. But I do know what it's like to lose someone so suddenly, without warning, and without having had time to say goodbye."

I suddenly feel guilty for every filthy name I've called this man, and I've called him plenty, both in my head and out loud. I feel remorse for every time I have deemed him heartless, self-centered and without feeling. Okay, he's still self-centered, but I was wrong to think he didn't have his own hurts.
Because while he may be a man, it's obvious he still has the scars from the wounds that were inflicted upon him as a boy. And this is a side of Roger I have never seen.

"I don't know how to...I- I'm sorry, Roger. Your brother must miss you, wherever he is. Maybe he will come back one day."

"Don't," Roger snaps. I wasn't expecting his sudden shift in mood and I almost jump at his tone. But his voice softens with his next words. "No, Anabelle, he isn't coming back. Don't tell me to hope. I accepted that he was gone for good a long time ago."

Silence takes over the space between us. Soon, Roger parks the car and we both get out without another word.

I feel a little better when the cool breeze hits my face and my eyes take in the glorious colours surrounding me. We've come at the hour of sunset, and I'm sure that there could not be a more perfect time, as I take my shoes off and I start walking barefooted across the sand.
Roger joins me at my side and neither of us talk. We don't need to. There's a storm raging inside the both of us as we are swamped in memories and thoughts, invited by our previous conversation. But I decide that this is the one place where they will not torment me, and instead I try to focus on the seagulls that call out as they fly, on the glimmering shells littering the sand, on the children that giggle and splash each other as their parents look on.

Slowly, my heartbeat slows down and I feel lighter. The weight that I hadn't realized was weighing me down lifts ever so slightly. Images of my mother laying on a restaurant floor, motionless and lifeless, are replaced by images of blue waves crashing into each other and rushing towards the shore. The sound and the smell and the freedom of this place overwhelms my senses until I can feel nothing else, and for that I am grateful.

I turn to Roger, who I realize is watching me instead of looking at the shimmering water. He looks down when I do, not wanting to meet my eyes.
I want to explain to him how grateful I am, that he took me here, that he cared enough, that he understood. I do not know how, though. It is unnatural to be thanking Roger Sullivan, when I am normally cursing him.

But I will try.

After walking for a little while longer, I clear my throat, about to speak. Then I quickly change my mind, my tongue numb and hesitant to say anything that would break this perfect silence. Instead, I crouch down to finger a shell. Roger gets down on his haunches besides me and I'm unsettled by our sudden closeness.

"You don't have to thank me." His voice is slightly hoarse as he makes a pattern in the sand with his thumb.

How did he know?

My eyes dart to his. Then they move, taking in the way a single curl of hair rests on his forehead and noticing for the first time that he has a nice nose. The same nose I wanted to punch earlier.

He studies me, too. But only for a few seconds, before standing up abruptly.

"Let's go back to the university. It's getting dark." He brushes his sandy hand on his khaki pants and starts moving towards the car, not waiting for me to catch up.

I follow him, because he's right. The splendorous sunset sky has faded and the light with it. Like most beautiful moments, it ended quickly.

It's only when we've almost arrived back at the university that Roger speaks again. "Am I on your good side now?" he asks.

---

Author's note: Apologies for how short this chapter is. Hopefully the next will be longer. :) What do you think of this new...interesting development?

Btw: the picture is of Roger.