It's times like these when I miss you the most.

It shakes me to my core, it ravages everything I am and have tried to be.

I hate thinking of you, because it reminds me that you never had a chance. I have had chance after chance--20 years of chances--and I've wasted so much.

I just wish that it wouldn't hurt so much to think of you, and to remember you. I want to remember you so badly, I want to retire in my mind with you--I want to be with you in my head because I couldn't be with you anywhere else. But it hurts so much, it hurts too much.

I don't want to hurt like this, but I can't stop thinking and remember you because I would hurt for you if it meant you we could be together.