"So, how much should I be worried about your friends in that cellblock?" Lumen broke the silence on their way back to their room, nodding to the door with a "Cellblock D" sign at the end of the hallway.

"What're you talking about?" Merle asked from the doorway of the break room.

Daryl just growled, "they ain't no friends of ours." With no future explanation, he motioned for her to follow Oscar and Merle inside their shared place. Which she did and he closed and locked the door after them.

"Oh, well, the question is the same either way," she insisted while making herself comfortable on the couch by the door leading to her and Daryl's room, waiting on Merle to give her some of whatever they brought from the cafeteria so they could finally eat.

"We didn't take much, we'll go for more tomorrow. So as for now, you can have beans or chili beans." Merle turned to her a can in each hand.

"Chilli for me please." She held out her hands and Merle tossed the can to her. 

She turned it around to see if there was an opener. There wasn't one, suddenly the can was snatched from her fingers. She looked beside her and there was Daryl, with his own can between his knees and his hunting knife in his hand. She watched how it sliced through the metal and some of the red sauce leaked out. She was so hungry she for a moment forgot she asked anything, until-

"You don't have to worry about Axel," Oscar said sitting on the couch under the window with his own dinner. "He was part of some biker club. He lives by a code, I don't think he'd hurt anybody just for the hell of it." She looked at Daryl to see if he had something to add, but Daryl just nodded and passed her the now opened can and she dug into it.

"Okay, that's one, what about the rest?" She turned back to Oscar who looked more willing to share his opinion.

"Big Tiny, the one taller than me by a head, he's harmless. He's here just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, for being stupid basically. He's giant but he's scared of his own shadow. The only thing you have to worry about with him is that he won't get your back. He would more likely take to his heels than help you, that's for sure."

Lumen nodded, that was good to know. But the one she was actually already worried about Oscar haven't mentioned yet.

"What about the guy with long hair? He was looking at me funny, gave me the chills," she asked, taking a mouthful of her chili heaven.

"We already went through this, sweetheart, your judge of character is worth shit." Merle joined the conversation from where he was sprawled on the third couch, pouring the content of his can directly into his mouth without using a spoon. He rolled his eyes at her and glanced to Daryl. Merle knew his brother wanted to kill the guy, but that didn't really say if Tomas was really trouble or not and Daryl's expression didn't give anything away.

Lumen's hand paused above the can for a second as she thought about what he said before she spooned some from it.

"Alright, I think you made yourself perfectly clear on that matter. That's why I'm asking you all for your opinion instead of going with my guts." She scraped the last pieces of her chili out then put the now empty can on the table. She swallowed and cleared her throat before continuing, "There is no reason in throwing it in my face all the time."

"I'm taking care of it," Daryl interrupted, "him and that prick that's following him around." He decided to share his intentions. There was no point in hiding it. She'd find out sooner or later anyway.

"Oh..." Lumen looked down at her hands unwittingly playing with the hem of her shirt. At the back of her mind, she knew this moment will come, though that didn't help her with how she felt about it now. She wasn't sure how much she was actually okay with it either, if at all. She watched Merle kill a man once, but it was in self-defense and after that encounter, they decided to figure out a new way to approach people. 

This here though, this was different. This was deciding to kill someone over dinner. As if they were talking about splitting up supplies. She had a very vivid image of Daryl killing a man too and it was nothing like what Merle did. Merle killed for them to survive. Daryl, on the other hand, enjoyed doing it. She couldn't pretend anymore like she did when Daryl was in prison. Reality came crashing over her like a ton of bricks, leaving her at a loss for words.

"Come on." Daryl suddenly grabbed her arm to pull her up, and without a word dragged her to their room, closing the door behind them. 

Merle glanced at Oscar and they shared a look that said it all. It needed to be done. Tomas needed to go. And they weren't about complaining about leaving the doing to Daryl.

Inside of the other room Lumen pulled her arm out of Daryl's grip, which wasn't very strong to begin with. She walked the few steps to the couch and slumped down on it. Daryl didn't move from the door. He was thinking about what to say when he heard her tired sigh.

"When you talked about 'taking care of it' you couldn't possibly mean 'I'm gonna talk to him and sort things out'?"

That not very good attempt in lightening the mood assured him he was allowed to come close, so he moved to the couch to squat in front of her. He put his hands over hers, stilling their nervous movement on her thighs and looked her straight in the eye before answering her honestly with a simple "No."

"That's what I thought," she mumbled and dropped her eyes to her lap to silently watch their hands.

He tilted his head to catch her eye, and when he did he asked the only thing that really mattered to him. "You know you are safe with me, right?"

"I know," she answered with a quick jerky nod because she did. At the question, she realized it actually didn't even cross her mind that he would possibly want to hurt her. She feared for the people around them, and so she decided to voice those worries. "What about other people living here though? How safe are they?" she asked tentatively.

He tilted his head to the side, thinking about it. He wanted to be honest with her but didn't at the same time. He wanted this conversation to be over because he knew he couldn't give her the answers she wanted to hear. He couldn't just promise her he won't kill anybody, because he honestly didn't know. He didn't understand what exactly triggered that need in him. He was starting to get frustrated with this whole situation because he simply didn't know what to tell her. His silence was an answer enough though and she sucked in a shuddering breath.

"There are kids, Daryl. That little boy and the baby is coming any day now," she whispered and his head turned back to her so fast Lumen thought he might get whiplash.

"I don't hurt kids," he whispered actually sounding offended and with a deep breath he pushed back. "The question ain't what I'm or I'm not gonna do though. The real question is what are you gonna do."

"What do you mean?" She looked at him confused.

"You know who I am, you probably know it better than anyone and you came here anyway. So what is this? Are you having cold feet now?"

"No, I'm not, I just- it just- it feels like, I don't know." She shook her head and took a minute to gather her thoughts. "I feel responsible like if you hurt somebody it would be on me somehow. I am supposed to be helping people, not plot how to hurt them."

"That's bullshit," he said rolling his eyes, "what I do, that's all on me and me only. You're not plotting anything, besides, it's not like I'm gonna go and butcher them all tomorrow. I was just being honest with you. All I said was that we need to get rid of Tomas and Andrew. I got a good reason for it too."

I'm sure you do, went through her head, but she didn't dare to voice the sarcastic remark aloud. After all, before his jail time, his last reason to kill someone and facing the death sentence afterward was her. And weirdly enough, he never blamed her for it. So no, she was not about to bring up his reasons.

"So I ask again," he continued when he saw she wasn't about to say anything, "do you have second thoughts now, do you wanna leave?"

"Even if I did, where would I go?" She looked around helplessly.

"That's a good point, but what I asked was do you want to?"

Her eyes zeroed in on his again. She searched his face not even sure what she was looking for. No, the fact they never talked about these things during her visits didn't mean they didn't exist. That he miraculously changed in the course of the last two years. She would be naive to think that. What was she thinking? She didn't think, that's what.

But the longer she looked at him the clearer was to her, that she hasn't changed either. Despite everything she still loved him. She felt safe with him. And so she let herself be selfish and made her choice.

"No," she said wetting her lips nervously, "I don't want to leave you."

"Good," he breathed out and only now she realized he was holding his breath. Lost in her thoughts she didn't notice he wasn't breathing even though her eyes haven't swayed from his face the last few moments.

"That's very good," he said again nodding to himself and then he slowly leaned over to kiss her. 

It seemed like he was testing the waters, because he gave her only small peck at first, moving with caution. But when she didn't move away or try to stop him otherwise, he pressed in. He moved from his crouched position and went down on his knees, making his way between her legs to get closer to her. He slid his hands up her thighs to her hips and kept going around her to grab her butt. He then abruptly pushed her toward him. Her own hands shot up to his shoulders at the sudden move and she broke the kiss.

He let his hands roam over her body, following their trail with his eyes. It felt still surreal to have her this close and to be able to touch her freely. He knew these questions would come and part of him expected her run away from him, but she didn't, she was still his.

He glanced up to find her watching him with a serious expression. Her eyes held almost hypnotizing intensity. It made his hands stay still on her hips, as he focused on her face.

"You know, I do recognize this is my second chance," he whispered, "I've been listening about the world outside, and how hopeless everybody feels about it, but to me." 

He paused taking one hand off her hip and reached out for her cheek. He ran the back of his finger over it, her jaw, and down her neck. He rested it there making small circles with his thumb over the little line where he could feel her pulse beating. He realized he got sidetracked and torn his eyes from the sight to look back into her eyes.

"To me it's everything. If all of this didn't happen I'd be still on death row. I'd see you and Merle for the rest of my short life twice a month through a thick glass. And after all those months locked in that damn cafeteria, I'd say it's a fucking miracle to have you in front of me like this."

"I know," she said so quietly he almost didn't catch it, "when I saw this place, walkers all around..." she trailed off, she didn't want to think much less talk about how much her hopes had dropped at the scene.

"But here we are." He gave her a small smile.

"Here we are," she replied, the corners of her mouth turning up just a bit.

"You won't regret staying by my side, darling, I promise you that." He made the very first honest promise of his life. He knew he can't fuck this up because in this world the next fuck up of his life would mean death and he'd do everything to keep his family out of harm's way.

She didn't get the chance to react to the statement because he tightened his hold on both, her hip and her neck and he pulled her against him, kissing her again. The couch didn't have the right high, so he pulled again to bring her down on his lap, so she could feel him hard against her groin. He rolled his hips while pressing her body against him with his hands, but it didn't seem enough. Their bodies were flushed against each other and it still didn't feel close enough to him. He tore his shirt off and reached for a hem of hers, but she was already working on taking it off, so he went for her pants. Once he got the zipper open he nudged her to slide off his lap so he could lay her down to take the pants off of her.

"Cold," she hissed the moment her bare back touched the floor and set up again, almost hitting their foreheads together in the process.

"What was that?" He looked at her from where he was kneeling still between her legs when his attempt at undressing her was interrupted.

"The floor, it's cold."

"Right." He looked around, his mind felt clouded, and his brain was refusing to work properly.

"Alright, up to the couch you go then," he said, already getting up and dragging her with him. When she moved to sit down, he tightened the hold on her arm to stop her and with a smirk, he reached down and yanked her pants down along with her panties. He pushed her down then and pulled on her legs to finish his work, leaving her sprawled in front of him.

"Take that off too." He motioned to her bra, the only piece of clothes she was still wearing and went on the couch with her. Settling himself back between her legs he ran his hands up her inner thighs.

"What? No ple-ase?" Her voice broke on the last word as his fingers reached her crotch and he slid his thumb between her folds and pushed it against her clit.

"Pretty please," he said mindlessly, his eyes glued to what he was doing with his hands. He bent down and gave her pussy a long lick before he put his mouth where his thumb had been and sucked. She put her hands on his head and her fingers curled into his hair, pressing his face against her tensing body. He started to push his own fingers inside her, fully intended to please her first, but when he heard her low moan those plans flew out of the window. It's been so damn long and if he didn't get inside her soon he'd blow in his pants.

His mouth abandoned the clit, earning a discontent whimper from her. He moved over her, noticing her bra was still on, while he fumbled to open his belt buckle.

"I'm sorry, I just need-"

"It's okay," she cut off the unnecessary apology, sliding her hands from his hair to his neck, caressing him. She understood.

He got rid of his pants and her bra in record time, but when that was done, she felt him calm down again. He was moving against her while watching her face intently, but he wasn't trying to push in. And she realized why, when he slid his hand up to her neck and slowly closed his fingers around it. Not firmly enough for her to not to be able to breathe but tight enough to be aware of her own pulse pounding under her skin. He kept searching her face for a yes or a no sign.

"Not tighter though," she whispered.

He bent down to kiss a spot under her ear, "Anything you want, darling," he breathed before shifting his body a bit and slowly let himself slip inside her. He didn't try to go all the way in just yet. He buried his face in her hair, laying his body over hers. He kept himself from crushing her with his free hand flattened beside her shoulder and continued with several shallow thrusts before giving her one hard and deep. Her breathing hitched and her hands moved to his back, holding on.

He pushed himself up to look at her face, to check if she was alright and then started with the shallow thrusts again. He kept repeating the process, only as the time went there were less shallow ones and more deep ones. Their eyes stayed locked until he went in with one particularly hard thrust. Her eyes rolled back, her mouth opened in a silent scream. Her hands moved down over his sides to his butt which she grabbed to keep him close while she rolled her hips, grinding her clit against his skin.

His hand flexed on her neck but didn't squeeze any harder. He was transfixed by the sight in front of him. Although he was the one on top, literally holding her by her neck, she was the one fucking him from below. He watched her move, heard her quiet moans and felt her body tense, going almost rigid and he decided to take over then. 

He let go of her throat and grasped her firmly by her shoulder to keep her still while he rammed his cock into her again and again and again until she started to shake and he felt her walls spasm around him as she finally fell over the edge. The added pressure made him follow right after and with a low growl, he spilled inside of her. He bent his head to kiss her, pushing his tongue into her mouth as he continued to move jerkily within her till he was completely spent. He broke the kiss and let his body drop down breathing heavily.

Lumen started to draw patterns on his skin with her fingers. She wasn't bothered by his weight pinning her down, she liked it. She could feel the rugged texture of his skin where his scars where and the smooth skin in other places. She went on with her ministration until she felt him slip out of her and he moved his whole body off her. He reached over the armrest to fish blankets from the pile they dropped there earlier and proceed to cover them with it. He then snuggled up with her and wrapped his arm around her bringing her as close to him as possible.

They laid together in silence until the fatigue took over and they fell asleep.

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"What crawled up your ass and died? You got what you wanted, so calm down." Oscar watched Merle angrily kick a box he accidentally knocked over. He earned an angry glare for his comment. No, Merle thought, he absolutely did not get what he wanted.

Merle was in a foul mood since Lumen tried to throw him out of the infirmary. They decided to show her around, so she wouldn't get lost in the corridors. It wasn't exactly a maze, but a few wrong turns and one could get easily confused.

After the brief tour, they decided to split so two of them would go stock some of the food from the cafeteria in their room and one of them would stay with Lumen in the infirmary, where they were at that moment to make an inventory check on supplies. Merle offered his help since he knew drugs better than Oscar or Daryl, but his reasoning fell on deaf ears.

Lumen started to go off to one of the cabinets with Daryl right behind her, which made Merle even more annoyed, Daryl was acting like her shadow since they emerged from their room and didn't talk at all. He was just walking with her and watching her. It was fucking creepy where Merle was concerned. 

He barked at them, "Hey! I was talking to you!" Lumen turned to him looking genuinely confused.

"Wait, you were actually serious? I thought that was some kind of joke. Merle, I don't want you helping me here."

"Why the fuck not?" he asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Come on Merle you know why!" she actually whined. "You shouldn't be around drugs."

"Fuck you! I quit for you, you should show some appreciation."

Oscar and Daryl both gave him looks full of doubts, which were confirmed as soon as Lumen shot back, "No, fuck you! You didn't quit, you ran out of that shit and then I had to take care of your withdrawal ass. Something I'd rather not go through again. So please, would you be so kind and went with Oscar to take care of the food."

"Fucking bullshit," he spat, "we're all staying, do the check up and then we'll go for food, it'll make no difference to split and we'll be safer," he said, already moving around Lumen to one of the cabinets.

Daryl turned to Lumen, his eyebrow raised in amusement. Women usually didn't have the nerve talk back to his brother. He remembered the times when Lumen herself used to be terrified him. So this was quite a spectacle. He found it funny to watch her fight with Merle like this and wanted to see if she had anything else to add. But she just sighed.

"He's got a point there actually," she mumbled not happy about this whole thing but she knew she won't bend him.

So now, two hours later, they had a good idea about what they had here. To Merle's big disappointment a prison infirmary wasn't exactly stocked with the kind of drugs he was interested in which didn't help to improve his mood any. He kicked the table he was standing by in frustration making the drawers fly out. Oscar let out a heavy sigh and left him to it. Instead, he went join Lumen and Daryl where they were packing some first aid kits they could all carry in their bags. Lumen looked up at his approach and gave him an apologetic smile.

"There is no point in talking to him right now. Wait till he cools off a bit," she said lowly.

"There's no point in it now? You say it like there is a time I could have a nice calm conversation with him," he laughed. "So whatcha doing here, want some help?"

"I think we are almost done, but sure, you can pack that one." She pointed at one of the two small piles of supplies left for packing.

"Good thinking by the way, with the aid kits I mean." Oscar complimented while getting busy with the task.

Merle sat heavily on the table he just abused. He took several deep breaths trying to compose himself when something caught his eyes. His look zeroed in on one of the drawers that landed on the floor. There was a bottle with some clear liquid in it, hopefully, moonshine, or- hell any alcohol would do. But what made a smile break on his face was the small plastic pharmacy bottle laying next to it. He glanced around seeing Lumen, Daryl, and Oscar busy with the supplies. He reached for the small bottle to inspect the pills in it.

"Doc, you son of a bitch," he muttered, satisfied with his find he pocketed it and then took the other bottle. He unscrewed the cap and sniffed the contents, gin. It wasn't his favorite but beggars can't be choosers.

"Who wants to join me for a drink," he hollered turning to the others, grinning widely, showing them proudly the bottle.

"Oh boy," Lumen muttered under her breath at first, but after giving it a second thought, she could use a drink and seeing Daryl and Oscar faces, they could too.

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I hope you enjoyed the chapter :-)

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