Merle tried hard to make sense of what was happening, but his brain just wouldn't cooperate. He heard Oscar talking to whoever was at the door but couldn't make out the words. He managed to sit up on the couch and slowly look around. He tried to remember how he got there.

The room was still gloomy so it must be early. Flashes of previous day popped inside his head. The pills, the drinking, more pills, did he have a fight with Lumen? He remembered being pissed at her. That hasn't happened for a while now. Then nothing, no memory of how he got back in the room, but a flash of the shower room and Beth sitting on his lap kissing him went through his mind. Fuck! What did he do?

He put his arm on the backrest and turned to look over it. In the doorway the black guy from the other group was hovering, the one with the weird name, something about hounds. Merle stared at him, watching how nervous he seemed to be until a banging on the door made him close his eyes. He felt a bad migraine coming his way.

"Hey, guys! Come out!" Oscar shouted through the door behind which Daryl and Lumen were most likely still sleeping, trying to wake them up.

"Keep it down would you?" Merle's voice came out raspy and he cleared his throat trying to help it. He looked around and spotted a bottle of water on the coffee table in front of him. He didn't think about who put it there, he grabbed it and chugged down almost half of it.

"Oh, good morning to you too, dumb ass!" Oscar turned from the door.

"What the-" Merle started but was cut off.

"We found you snoring in the showers, then we had to carry your sorry ass here so you wouldn't get eaten if anything happened. So next time you decide it's a good day to get high, just don't."

"Whatever." Merle waved him off and leaned his head against the headrest, closing his eyes again he waited for the water to settle down in his stomach.

He heard Oscar sigh, a door being opened and then Lumen's tired voice. "What is it? Theodore? What are you doing here?" Oh yeah T, T-Dog, that was the stupid name.

"It's Beth. We can't find her anywhere. Maggie was the last one who saw her when she relieved her from the Hershel watch yesterday. Everybody thought she's just hiding somewhere because-. You know Hershel's condition and she's taking it obviously not well. But when she didn't show for breakfast today we started to look and she's nowhere to be found. Have you seen her by any chance?"

Beth, Merle didn't move but his heart started to beat so fast he was beginning to worry he might be in danger of heart attack.

"No, I haven't, sorry." He heard Lumen answer, her voice much more alert than before, then footsteps and suddenly she was shaking his shoulder. "Hey, Merle? Merle! Wake up." He just grunted to let her know he's up, he wasn't ready to look at her yet. "Have you seen Beth? You know which one is Beth right?"

"No," he rasped, putting his arm over his eyes. He wasn't even sure why he lied at that point. But as more flashes of last night begun to show, like Beth crying, her hands on his belt, her crying more... he just couldn't, wouldn't tell them. Just no.

Lumen shook him one more time, "No, as in you haven't' seen her? Or no, as in you don't know who Beth is?"

He took a deep breath and lifted his arm a bit to look at her with one narrowed eye. "I know who she is damn it. I haven't seen her." Despite his hurting head he stood up and looked at T-Dog. "Why do you keep letting them girls wander around by themselves all the time anyway? Are you all that stupid?"

"He's right," Oscar said, nodding in agreement, "every time I walk out I see Amy outside, alone."

T-Dog's eyes went wide, "wha-shit!"

"What?" Oscar and Merle said almost at the same time.

"She said she'll go check the yard when we started looking," he said already turning around, "I don't think anyone went with her," he uttered over his shoulder, hurrying down the hallway.

"Fucking unbelievable," Oscar cursed under his breath, He went to the door and watch T-Dog running in the direction of the yard exit. He checked the left side only to see Rick talking to Axel at the other end of the hallway, by the cellblock D entry. They greeted each other with a nod, Rick's eyes slid behind Oscar and seeing T-Dog swiftly disappear around the corner at the end of the hallway he raised his eyebrows questioningly. Oscar just shook his head and went back to the room, closing the door behind him.

Lumen glanced from him to the door and back. "Aren't we going to help them to look for her?"

Oscar opened his mouth to answer but was beat by Daryl, who was now coming out of their room to join them. "No, it's not our problem."

"What? But-"

"I'll go." Oscar offered. "I wanna at least check on Amy, those morons act like they just got to their country house for a vacation. We all should be more on guard."

"I'll go too." Merle's raspy voice earned a surprised look from everyone in the room. "What?" he asked, looking at the stunned faces around him. "We agreed on not going anywhere alone, didn't we? Can't have this one's ass eaten somewhere." He nonchalantly motioned to Oscar, who snorted in response.

Oscar and Lumen shared a look, both entertaining the idea of reminding Merle where he was found just yesterday, alone, but decided against it. There was a more pressing issue and honestly, there was no point in saying anything.

"I'm gonna go with you," Lumen said, nodding her head as if she just agreed with herself.

"No, you won't." Daryl's face hardened. He was not about to compromise here.

"What do you mean 'you won't', sure I will," she answered perplexed.

"I mean what I said. You're staying with me." Not even waiting for her response he went around her to look for something to eat.

"So we both go," she tried to offer.

"No we won't, it's not our problem," he didn't even blink.

"But," she looked around herself at Merle and Oscar who were starting to get ready, "They're going, and I wanna help, it's not like I'm gonna be running around alone, and I'm sure Maggie will be going too."

"So? I don't give a shit. Maggie's not my girl. Stop acting like a little brat, you're not going anywhere."

"You can't tell me what I can or can't do like this."

"Sure I can, I just did. Tell me, who's gonna stop me." He stood with his back turned to her as he rummaged through the cupboards.

She looked behind her only to see Merle and Oscar both lifting their hands in the air, hinting they were staying out of the argument. Getting frustrated she turned back to face Daryl.

"What the hell is this? I know this whole civilization collapse seems to catapult us back into the middle age but that doesn't mean you gonna boss me around without talking it through at all. Even your brother treats me as his equal and that's saying something!" she said pointing at Merle behind her without looking.

"Oh really, an equal? From what I saw he says jump and you ask how high." Daryl gave up on the food search for now.

She opened her mouth to argue that, but quickly realized she really did what Merle asked without much of a questioning. They got to that point in time they spent together on the road. She glanced back at Merle as if looking for support which she didn't get. Merle just shrugged, a wide grin spreading on his face while he went back to tying shoelaces on his boots.

So after clearing her throat, she tried again. "Well, I know he's doing what's best for me and my safety. And he's always open to a discussion, unlike you apparently."

She left out that said discussion almost never end up in favor of her proposition because that wasn't what this was about. This was about him telling her that she's not allowed to go help someone without giving a reason. This was about him telling her she's not allowed to make her own decisions.

Daryl didn't look impressed though. He reached out, grabbed Lumen's hand and dragged her to their room. He slammed the door behind them not wanting to argue in front of his brother and Oscar any longer.

Lumen shrugged his hand off as soon as the grip got lighter and angrily folded her arms over her chest, thinking the manhandling just proved her point.

"See, you're acting like some sexist brute," she whisper-shouted, not wanting Oscar or Merle to listen in on them either.

But Daryl was pissed too, and she realized that a second too late. It's been a long time since the last time she saw the look he now wore on his face, and it started to make her slightly nervous.

"Believe me, I'm all for equality." His mouth turned into a wicked sneer as he started stalking toward her, making her back away from him.

"Men, women, it never made no difference to me, except which I preferred to fuck. Where I'm concerned we're all just people. Do you know how I'm so sure about it? Because I never felt any differently about who I killed. I took them all in the same way, to the same place, they all got the same ties and I cut their air supplies in the exact same fashion. Because no snooty bitch deserves a special treatment just because she owns a pussy between her legs," he hissed while searching her face for a reaction during his whole speech, and he got it too.

Her eyes dropped to the ground. He saw her breathing to speed up. Her arms slowly slid down from their place on her chest and she started to play with her fingers nervously. This was the very first time Daryl talked freely about the killing he's done and this was not how she imagined the conversation to go.

She certainly wasn't prepared for the fear creeping its way inside of her.

Daryl wasn't happy about this either but he preferred her being scared to her roaming around searching for Beth only to be snatched and hurt by Tomas. Still, seeing her expression he straighten up, backing away from her in the process to give her some space and continued, "I treat men and women the same when the situation calls for it. This," he motioned around him, " this is not me being sexist, it's being realistic. You are no fighter, darling. I know Merle's been teaching you some, but you're a woman and no matter how equal to me I see you, you just don't have the means to win against a man. Being able to kill dead people doesn't help you to fight the living ones." Her eyes shot up then and seeing the confusion washing over her face he asked. "There are two more people missing around here, so you do realize what most likely happened to Beth, right?"

It took her moment, but the pieces seemed to click in the end. Her mouth popped open and her expression turned horrified as the realization settled in, "Jesus," she breathed out. He gave her a curt nod, hoping she'll see the reason now, "Daryl we can't just do nothing," she urged. Daryl held her gaze for a moment before he shook his head no. "Daryl..." she trailed off, thinking about the possibilities. Daryl obviously didn't want her to be a part of the search party, and for a solid reason, so she tried again, offering something a bit different, "Merle's going and I wanted to go check on Hershel anyway. How about I stay in the other cellblock while you help look for her then."

"Yeah, because they are doing such a great job guarding that place," he snorted.

"We don't know how she got lost. Let's at least talk to them," she reached out and tentatively laid her palm on his arm, "Daryl please, there could be a time when something happens to me. How would you feel if all the people here wouldn't help you look for me saying it's not their problem. There is no police, nothing, no one to call for help. People just have to help each other now."

She saw his cheek twitch at the image she just painted for him. He knew how he would feel, he'd be pissed either way. But thinking about this, maybe this is a good opportunity to finally deal with Tomas. He wouldn't take Lumen with him for that anyway if he could help it.

"Okay," he gave in, "we're gonna talk to them. I'll help with the search if needed, but you stay with whoever is staying behind in their cellblock, locked, until I get back, agreed?" He asked, his face serious not leaving any room for more compromise.

"Alright," she agreed immediately and went to move around him only to be stopped by his hand that shot up to grab her arm again. He more felt than saw her jump under the touch. Cursing internally he moved her back in front of him, searching her face. She was now looking at him, though she didn't seem to be anywhere near to be comfortable.

"You know I said what I did because your safety matters to me too, right?"

She gulped dryly, the lack of saliva reminding her she didn't have anything to eat or drink yet that morning. She took all her courage and asked what she really wanted. "You mean abou-. Why did you say that? Did you want to scare me into listening to you or something?"

He let go of her, put his thumb in his mouth and started to chew on it. If she didn't know any better she'd think he was more uncomfortable to talk about it than she was.

The truth was, he did it exactly for the reason she suspected. He tried to scare her into submission, but the second he saw the fear in her eyes, he realized he hated it. Gone was the calm aura about her, the trust she had in him to not to hurt her slipping through his fingers- Up until now, he never realized just how much he wanted her to trust him, to not to fear him. And so he lied.

"No, no that's not why I did. I said it because it's the truth. Because I do see women in general equal to men. I don't treat people worse or better based on their gender. I do think there are situations where women simply can't compete though. Like now, when I'm very sure there is a man, stronger than you, who would hurt you if he was given the opportunity. And I'm not about to give it to him. You get the why now, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Lumen sighed, "I'd get it if you had explained it to me right away too, you know?"

Stepping closer she grabbed the hand he was still chewing on and tugged it away from his mouth, never letting go of that hand she put her other palm on his cheek and started to caress him slowly while looking into his eyes.

"I know you know you can talk to me. You don't need to- just, talk to me next time, okay?"

"Alright," Daryl rasped quietly. He would do his best to do it the right away next time then.

They joined Oscar and Merle in the other room for a quick breakfast because there is no point in going on search starving. By the time they got in the cellblock C all of the others were there too, including Axel who was standing on the side, watching them talk over the plan with a frown on his face. He didn't try to interfere though. When he saw the four of them coming he greeted them quietly and then explained that not only another girl went missing, but Big Tiny was nowhere to be found either.

Rick was just trying to sort out where would who go to make the search the most efficient. He was about to address Axel when he noticed he was no longer standing alone. He eyed the group but Oscar beat him to talking.

"We're here to help. I mean Merle, Daryl and myself. Lumen's here to check on the old man and she would stay here while we look," he explained.

"Okay, good," Rick said obviously relieved, "we can cover more ground like that, thanks."

Just then Carl emerged from the cellblock, his gun ready, but Rick immediately stepped in his way.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going with you," Carl replied matter-of-factly.

"No, Carl, I need you to stay here, okay?" Rick said, his eyes looking for Lori.

"No, I want to help to look for Beth and Amy. You're all going, it's not like I'm going to be alone." Carl motioned around him to all the people standing in the room.

Daryl smirked at hearing this conversation. He rounded on Lumen, his eyebrow raised, he whispered, "Little brat. Remind you of someone?"

She blushed at her own almost identical childish response she gave him only half an hour or so ago. She quickly recovered though remembering Daryl acting like an asshole. She looked back at Rick only to see him handing Carl the keys from the cellblock and asking him to guard it and everyone who's staying while he's gone. She moved to go in, to check on Hershel and talk to Lori intending to leave proudly when Daryl caught her arm again and turned her to look at him.

"Don't leave here until me or Merle come back to get you." He didn't like leaving her, but they had to deal with Tomas and Andrew, the sooner the better.

For a second she thought about pointing out he's being bossy again, but seeing how tense he was and knowing he didn't want to go in the first place, she swallowed the remark and only nodded, "Yeah, I'll be here." She gave him quick peck on the lips, "Thank you for doing this."

He nodded back. "You got your gun?"

"Yes, my knife too." She motioned to her hip where it was sheathed.

"Be safe," she said to all of them and went to join Lori and Carl behind the bars which he locked as soon as she was there.

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The whole search was a bust. They systematically searched the yards, towers and every single shed they could enter. They continued inside and searched the cafeteria, the showers, the cellblock D once again, every single storeroom and even the room Daryl, Merle, Oscar, and Lumen was staying in.

But nothing.

They searched together, then they split into four teams, Merle with Daryl, Oscar with Axel, Rick with T-Dog and Glenn with Maggie and searched the whole place again, just to be sure no one could be walking around them. It felt like they were on it for hours and they probably really were. But still nothing.

They were all now taking a break in the cafeteria, trying to figure what to do next. At that point, Merle got himself together. The hours of searching helped to straighten up his head. Now he felt guilty. Somehow he couldn't shake the feeling they wouldn't be all searching for the girls now if he was sober last night. Maybe if he was right in the head he would walk her back to her people, she was still just a kid for Christ's sake.

"Five people don't just disappear into thin air," Maggie cried out frustrated, angry and scared for her little sister, interrupting his train of thought.

"Maybe they're no longer here," Axel offered.

"I don't think so," T-Dog shook his head, "Amy was here just this morning, they would have to go back for her."

"Hey, guys," Glenn's voice piped out, barely audible, "I know one corner of this place is ruined, but why aren't we looking in the A wing?" He asked nervously, his eyes jumping from one face to another, seeing all of them watching him as if he was crazy. He wasn't with them when they cleared the rest of the prison though so he had no idea what's up with the cellblock A, safe for hearing somewhere there should be offices.

"It's not cleared yet," Rick said, rubbing his face tiredly. "They would have to clear it themselves if they wanted to... hide there," his voice getting slower and slower as he realized they very well could have done it. That part should be for staff mostly, maybe there weren't that many walkers to kill. There just wasn't really time to check it yet. He looked around, seeing he wasn't the only one with that thought on the mind.

"Fuck!" Oscar cursed, already moving to the door.

They all hurried down the hallway to the cellblock A door. Oscar reached for the handle to open it but thought better off it.

"How are we going to do this?" He asked instead.

"We have to check if it's really clear first," Rick stressed, "we can't risk being overrun."

"Alright, we're doing it like this," Merle opened his mouth for the first time since they left their room. "We go in, and if it looks okay from the start we continue. We stay in the teams we're working now. We go in slow and check every office, every room, every fucking closet, to be sure we're not leaving any biters behind."

"There are two floors there." Oscar pointed out, "what if something comes from the one we are not in?"

"Two teams go up, two down then," Merle said while motioning to members of Rick groups as teams staying up and to his brother, Oscar, and Axel as a team going down.

The plan wasn't met with any objections and so Oscar once again reached for the door and slowly cracked them open only to be met with a messy but quiet hallway. They one by one went through that door and then locked it behind them. They went through the first few offices finding them empty too.

"Maybe the staff fled when the riot started," Axel offered, trying to unsuccessfully ease the tension.

Continuing to the stairway they found their first dead, really dead walker, laying on the bottom of it.

"Looks like you were right," Daryl addressed Glenn who didn't look slightly happy about being right about this.

"Okay, we're going down I guess then," Axel said and started down the stairs, Oscar, Merle, and Daryl following behind him, while the rest continued the search on the upper level.

It was darker much darker downstairs so they lighten up their flashlights. The hallway divided in two, on one side was several ordinary doors, on the other side was one bigger one.

"You two go left, we check this one," Merle motioned to the bigger door. Oscar and Axel nodded and went off the other way.

When he and Daryl opened a door into what looked like the generator room. When they stepped in, the first thing Merle noticed was the smell. It was almost impossible not to, the smell was heavy and hung in the hair, practically slapping him in the face. It would be surely more sickening if he wasn't used to it but he knew the smell of blood. This smell was a bit different than that of the animals though. This was sweet and metallic, it blanketed the air seemingly with no intention to ever leave. It might've been different, maybe not as bad if the blood had more time to thicken and age, but this was fresh.

Walking further into the room, they saw the corpse quickly, it's feet first, pointed in their direction as it lay on the floor. Approaching the body, in was soon confirmed as Big Tiny, the blood spattered on the walls and pooled around the upper part of his body. Merle and Daryl shared a look, seeing the pool of blood they didn't bother to look for a pulse.

They made their way slowly further to the room and in the passing they could see Tiny's eyes wide open, fixed and vacant. They went around the corner and saw the second reason for that smell. Small body tied up, hanging in the air by its arms. The head full of blond hair was hanging down. And more blood, on her, under her, everywhere.

"Which one is it?" Daryl's low voice sounded unbecoming in the quiet room.

"That's Beth," Merle said and rushed to her, to cut off the ropes. He was almost in front of her when her head shot up and the feeling of relief vanished as he was met with her lifeless eyes and snapping mouth.

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I am so very sorry for how long you had to wait for this update..., I won't bother you with why's, let's just say I want to keep this story a thing I do for fun, so I'm not really pushing myself. So I'm not going to promise weekly updates as I clearly am not able to keep that up.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter :-) leave a comment if you want.