Song: On a Good Day - Above & Beyond

I remember the fateful day I lost the life that was on Earth. I was swaying on the edge of a cliff - don't ask why, I was fifteen. The wind had been whipping tendrils of hair into my face as I stood there, supposedly alone.
You know that feeling you get when you feel like someone's staring at you, but no one's there? That awful sensation of hot and cold racing down your spine?

Yeah. I'm sure you do.
At that particular moment, I was experiencing it. Glancing over my shoulder every so often, half-afraid there would be someone there. There never was. I still can't pinpoint when exactly I started feeling it, but it was dreadful and lasted for quite a while before the inevitable struck.

The hands on my back. The sickening ball of terror settling into my stomach. The silent scream that left my mouth.
I was falling. I didn't want to die, but I knew it was happening.
No, it's not like how the books and movies portray it. You will never come to terms with it. And you certainly won't ever feel ready. It's not peaceful unless you know it's going to happen.

When my grandma had passed away after an agonising month of her health going downhill, she was relieved. But being pushed off the edge of a cliff is not something to feel at ease about. The wind was howling despairingly, mourning the loss of someone not yet gone. And the rocks approached me, steady and unforgiving. My heart was like a hummingbird's beating wings at that time, and everything slowed down.

I could see in vivid detail the vast, cerulean ocean. The froth licking at the waves, and the distant sailing boats and ships cutting through the water. If I squinted, I could picture the swimmer-clad, drunk people steering the wheels and the formal captains sporting navy outfits. I could feel the sun's rays beating down on me and the sea. I could imagine how parents would be lathering sunscreen onto their children at the beach and how the kids would try to squirm out of their grasp, insisting that they wouldn't get burnt.

I knew the emotion - I learnt about it in seventh-grade English, when I was busy making paper planes and flying them out of windows. It was a beautiful word. Sonder.
I could recall only one other time I had felt this way, it was when I spotted a plane flying above a skyscraper, and there was a tug at my heart as I wondered where it was flying the passengers.

There was no more time to think about things, to ponder over life's biggest questions. Maybe time hadn't actually slowed down, and my overactive brain had just sped up the thought process. I have no clue.
But tears wouldn't spring to my eyes anymore, it would sting as the gale dried them up. The rocks were merely metres away now, and I had never felt so scared in my entire life.

What was going to be next? It couldn't be just nothing! I couldn't believe it - you can't just stop feeling something! What if it was just emptiness, and I was floating around forev—

Impact.
My train of thought instantly ceased. No more worrying in that moment. It kind of felt like when you're about to faint, when all you can see is white and a few blobs that decidedly resemble shapes.
But what was this?
I could feel breaths exhaling through my mouth, and I knew that I was regaining my senses. The glaring whiteness was clearing, and I could check out my surroundings now.

I was puzzled. This was where I had— did I even die? It didn't matter in that moment, this was where I had fallen and landed, either surviving or dying.
But it was different. When I had been pushed, there had been an a ferocious gale and a rough ocean. Now there wasn't a single ship in sight and the strong winds had been replaced by a gentle breeze. There was no bloodstains or any sign of death on these rocks...

So what had happened? Was I in a coma? Was I in some sort of heaven? Afterlife, anyone?
The questions kept rising like bile in my throat, and I was desperate to ask someone, anyone, what was happening.
I shakily got to my feet and gawked at the untouched surface of the sea. It was very nearly unmoving, and was a deep turquoise.

I chewed the cuticle of my thumb thoughtfully, before cautiously clambering over the boulders. There was no way in hell I could have survived that plummet.
I soon realised as I was walking, that I had no clue what I was doing before the few minutes of standing on the cliff edge. I knew my name, but if someone was to ask me who my parents were and what pets I had, I would be at a loss.

The terrifying knowledge of not being knowledgeable had set in, and my heart rate quickened until it was almost pounding at the speed of the once-storm-like winds.
How could my memories just be erased like that?

Why couldn't I reconcile anything else? Not even my address, so I could find my way back? I would have taken anything! But, somehow, this area, despite it being the place I spent my final moments in, radiated comfort. Even the monstrous cliff seemed to be calming me down.

I rubbed my hands together and continued on my odd adventure. Maybe I was the only person in this... whatever it is... and I would have to live out my next life in solitude. I bit my lip nervously. I was certain that I had been a kind enough person in school and the community. I hadn't shoplifted like some of my friends, nor had I insulted anyone for the hell of it...

...Aching relief. That was what was pouring through me as the spot in the horizon grew larger. The figure was tall and human-sized. Perfect. I waved my arms around like a hysterical monkey, that was sure to grab their attention. And it did. The full body came into view. The hair. The little, intricate details.

I cried out in pure joy. A girl was striding purposefully towards me. She called over.
"You alright?"
"No!"
"Well, what happened then? Did you break a bone standing still?"
"I'm lost!"
The girl rolled her eyes back into her head and sighed deeply.
"I'm supposed to be a medic, not a tour guide!"
My next words came out in a mutter;
"I'm supposed to be dead. Not wherever this is."

At this, the girl threw her head back and laughed. It echoed through the bleak beach and resonated in my mind.
"You are dead, you idiot. Ever heard of Afterland?" She mocked. I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes thoughtfully.
"No."
She considered this for a second.

"Huh. They don't write about it in books anymore, I guess."
Shrugging, she held out her hand for me to shake.
"Annie Smith."
I remained silent, and a defensive expression carved itself onto her face.

"What?"
"Oh... I just expected something a little more—"
"I get that a lot." Annie mumbled. It was my turn to shrug now. Apologetically, of course. A tense silence descended upon us like a heat haze, and I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly.
"Could you take me to a less... desolate place?"

Somewhat reluctantly, Annie nodded, mumbling profanities under her breath as she led the way. The scenery changed gradually, going from rocky outcropping and bouldered beach to a dense forest which was impossible to enter without a machete. And finally, after hours of staggering around, civilisation. Well, dark, scary, terrifying civilisation. It surprised me when we didn't give the town a miss, and instead strolled right into a gloomy, dimly-lit tavern.

Annie had a stony, unreadable expression on her face, and I was quite frightened of the prospect that she might leave me for dead here.
I glanced up at her with wide eyes, much like a doe's.
"Where am I?" I squeaked, quickly covering up the crack of my voice with a cough.
"Did you have no ears when you died?" Annie snorted, "I said we're in Afterland!"

"But shouldn't it be less... glum?" I whispered to her, making sure none of the bitter-looking residents overheard.
"Oh, it is." Annie smiled slightly, giving off the vibe that she knew something I didn't (which could quite possibly be true), before approaching the bar.

Annie's entire demeanour morphed as she plopped down onto a barstool. Her guarded expression was replaced with a mischievous twinkle in her brown eyes.
"Mason... how's life going?" She said, before chuckling at her own dark joke. The Mason guy; a thin, wiry man with bright ginger hair and an expression that didn't match his messy, chilled appearance.

"If it isn't my least favourite customer. Anastasia." He said monotonously, convincing me he didn't have the nicest personality.
"Aw, c'mon Mase. You know you love me!"
"I love you about as much as I love rotten tomatoes."

"...So a lot." Annie finished, grinning at him. His lips formed a thin line and he squinted at her.
"Are you just here to annoy me, or are you actually going to order something?" He hissed. Annie pouted.
"You're no fun, Mase. Two Palm Punches, please."

"Coming right up." He sighed exasperatedly, as if this Palm Punch thing was the hardest possible task he would ever accomplish.
"He's a cheery bloke." I muttered to Annie, who snorted loudly.
"Still furious about his death. I mean, I would be too if I got killed by a bird. An oversized, talon-wielding bird, but that's not the point."

I covered my mouth to prevent myself from laughing. Honestly, that was something to be extremely bitter about.
No less than five minutes after the brief discussion about Mason's death, the redhead returned with two shamrock-green drinks.
"I can assure you, whatever-your-name-is, that the drink in Afterland are much superior to the drinks on Earth." Annie declared pompously. That reminded me of my lost memories, and I racked my brain to find some useless information about drinks on—

"Where's Afterland, exactly?" I asked curiously, causing my thoughts to dissolve. Annie merely winked.
"Drink up." Was her mysterious answer.
So I did, and by god, Annie would be so right if I knew what drinks were back on Earth. I couldn't pinpoint the flavours, because, well, I didn't know any tastes, but it was delicious. It was sweet, and then tangy, before changing into a zingy aftertaste.

It was amazing. Before I had realised it, I had finished the entire glass, and was on the verge of begging Annie for some more of the Palm Punch.
"Nope." Annie said, popping the P and replying to my thoughts. I grumbled and lifted the glass to my lips, desperate to get any clinging dregs out.

Hands were on my back again. I shrieked and flailed about like a fish out of water. It was the cliff scene all over again. Except I would disappear into a bottomless pit that would appear on tavern floor. And I would fall. And I would keep on falling, until I could plummet no more.