Chapter 02

"Oh, my god. Nakakahiya ka," Jana said nang matapos kong ikwento sa kanya iyong nangyari kagabi.

Iyinukyok ko iyong ulo ko sa table against better judgment dahil feel ko ay madumi iyon. "I know!" sabi ko sa kanya. "Hindi naman ako nakainom kagabi kaya medyo weird sa akin iyong mga lumabas sa bibig ko."

Fuck.

Na-turnoff kaya siya sa akin kasi parang ang eager ko naman masyado? In my defense, I was pressed for time! It wasn't as if nilalandi ko siya just for the heck of it. I mean, yes, gwapo siya sa gwapo... but kung iyon lang ang reason, hindi ko sasabihin lahat nung sinabi ko kagabi. I would be more... chill. And calm. And mysterious.

But iyong last night?

What a colossal mess!

Kulang na lang ihain ko iyong sarili ko sa kanya sa lamesa. Iyong karamihan pa naman ng lalaki, based on experience at least, would lose interest the moment they see that they can easily get you. Or at the very least, you'll be put in the 'fun' category aka one night stands and fuck buddies and not on the 'serious' category aka the girlfriends and the future wifeys.

Man... why is dating so hard and complicated?

"So, what's the next move?"

"Next move?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes. Kasi ang tagal mong naghanap ng date, e. Ngayon na nakita mo na, what? Suko na agad?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Uh... didn't you hear me tell you the story of how I made a fool of myself kagabi?"

She just so casually shrugged. "I mean, I love you, C, but you were so embarrassing last night. But then again, sino ba siya? So what if owner siya ng bar? Don't ever forget na Creative Director ka ng biggest magazine sa Pilipinas. Never sell yourself short."

I pouted. "Love you," sabi ko kasi gusto ko talaga na kahit minsan kami ang worst critic ng isa't-isa, kapag ganito, kami rin ang biggest reminder what a catch we actually are and how we should never settle.

She faked a gag at natawa na lang ako.

"So, ano na nga plan? 'Di mo nakuha number, noh?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi, e. So far, ang alam ko lang ay siya si Pablo na owner ng Pablo's."

"You seriously think na wala siyang social media? Kahit facebook man lang?"

"I really have no idea," sabi ko. "But if wala, it wouldn't be surprising, to be honest," dugtong ko. "The man's phone is an iPhone6, Jana! And it's not 'di niya afford iyong latest phone. Kung pwede siguro iyong Nokia, iyon siguro ang phone niya! That man is wired differently, that's for sure."

Tawang-tawa si Jana. "Or maybe... we should go to Pablo's later. Na-curious na rin ako."

I groaned. "But I just made a fool of myself."

"And you'll make a fool of yourself again later for my entertainment."

"Wow. Thanks."

"No biggie," sabi niya.

"Bitch," I replied and she just grinned at me. "But seriously... it would be so creepy kung nandun ulit ako two nights in a row."

"So what? Nagsabi ka naman na kailangan mo ng date sa wedding. Sinabi mo ba na sa isang araw na iyong kasal?" Umiling ako. "Sabihin mo mamaya. Topic for conversation."

I groaned once again kasi ngayon pa lang, naiisip ko na iyong mga kahihiyan na mangyayari. "Fine... but no drinks for me later."

"Oh, no, no, no," sabi ni Jana. "I will pick you up mamaya. Dress nicely. Pakita mo 'yang legs mo. The little black dress? The one na sinuot mo nung company party niyo? Iyong halos magmakaawa na si Paul sa 'yo? Iyon ang suotin mo. Then you'll drink. I will be the designated driver as usual. Do your thing—just don't overdo it. If ayaw niya, his loss, to be honest."

I rolled my eyes. "You're just saying that kasi friends tayo."

"Duh. Kung hindi ako, kawawa ka naman."

* * *

After ng coffee namin ni Jana, dumiretso na ako sa trabaho. My work's highly competitive, but I love it here. Some people find my work environment as toxic, but I really didn't mind... O baka kasi I don't take things personally lang... Or maybe I really just didn't care. Basta ako, I do my job. Kung maayos ka katrabaho, you would hear no complaints from me. Now kung hindi mo gagawin ang trabaho mo, that's when you'd hear from me.

Besides, I believe that there's always a room for improvement. I really just don't take things too personally, at least work-wise. Instead kasi na damdamin ko, I'd just take that into consideration tapos I'd work on it. I mean, it's for me din naman. And I believe it did me good kasi ako iyong pinaka-bata na creative director sa history ng magazine namin.

At around lunch time, I was eating my salad nang mag-ring iyong phone ko. I groaned nang makita ko iyong pangalan ng kapatid ko.

"What?" I replied nang sagutin ko iyong tawag niya.

"Hi!" she said, smiling. "Busy ka sa work, Ate?"

"Di naman."

Up until now, hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano ko kakausapin si Therese. We used to be close... I mean, I basically raised her. She knew that I liked Leo. Sinabi ko naman sa kanya. Alam niya rin na may something sa amin. But then... apparently they fell in love. So, ano pang laban ko 'dun? Mukhang tanga lang.

"Pwede ka kausapin?" she asked with that sweet smile of hers. I used to think that she has such a pretty smile—Leo probably thought the same kasi na-inlove nga si gago, e. But now? Ewan. Kasi alam mo 'yon? Sinabi ko sa 'yo lahat... Tapos nagawa niyang gawin sa akin na kapatid niya 'yon? It felt like betrayal kahit hindi naman talaga kami ni Leo. Like seriously... how could you do that?

I distanced myself.

Built a freaking wall.

I just couldn't trust her anymore—magkapatid na lang kami but we're not sisters anymore.

"Break ends in 10 minutes," seryoso kong sabi kasi feel ko hanggang doon lang ang haba ng pasensya ko.

"Okay, Ate," sabi niya. "Sobrang nakaka-proud ka talaga," muling sabi niya. Lagi niya 'yang sinasabi kapag tinatawagan niya ako at nakikita niya iyong background sa office ko. She's still staying at the province. She finished early education at nagtuturo siya sa day care. As far as I'm concerned, mahal niya naman iyong ginagawa niya. But she seemed so fascinated with my life in the city. Ewan ko sa kanya.

I ignored what she said and proceeded to ask her kung ano ba ang kailangan niya. She was just asking me kung makakauwi ba ako bukas kasi may bachelorette party daw para sa kanya. I just told her na busy ako pero sa totoo lang, wala ako sa mood. Kasi sino ba ang makikita ko roon? Iyong mga tita ko na chismosa? O iyong mga kaibigan niya na sobrang proud nung nagpublic na sila ni Leo sa Facebook? Na apparently matagal na pala nilang alam tapos tinatago nila? I mean, bakit niyo itatago in the first place if wala namang mali?

Tsk. Kairita. Nawalan na ako ng gana sa salad ko.

My work ended at around 7PM. Ayoko kasi ng may pending ako na trabaho. Gusto ko closed lahat ng tasks for the day. Lagi nga akong niloloko na hindi naman daw ako tigapagmana ng kumpanya. Pakielam ko ba. Wala naman akong balak na manahin iyong kumpanya. Ang akin lang, hanggang ako ang creative director dito, lahat ng mali or tama na mangyayari, sa akin nakadikit. So kung may kalat, ako ang maglilinis. As simple as that.

Pagbalik ko sa condo, nagpahinga muna ako. Nagsabi si Jana na susunduin niya ako ng 10:30. It felt so nice to remove my heels. I removed all my clothes and wore an oversized shirt as I walked around my unit. Walang magrereklamo kasi magisa lang naman ako rito.

I ate my late dinner while watching some sitcom then I took a long shower. Hindi ko sinunot iyong sinabi ni Jana na isuot iyong little black dress because I felt like that would be an overkill. I settled in wearing my sleeveless gray pantsuit. I mean, it's got a deep v-neck, so there's that.

"Ano 'yan?" sabi ni Jana nang sumakay ako sa sasakyan niya.

"What? Ang cute ko kaya."

"Mas sexy 'yung dress."

Umirap ako habang sinusuot ko iyong seatbelt. "I'd just invite him as my wedding date, okay? Hindi one night stand."

"Why not?" sabi ni Jana. "Based sa kwento mo, super gwapo."

"Bakit kapag gwapo, one night stand agad? E 'di sana pinatulan ko na si Paul."

"True," she replied, nodding her head. "I did search for him pala nung break ko kanina."

My lips parted. "Ang stalker!"

Natawa siya. "What? Curious lang, e!"

Umirap ako. "So, ano ang nalaman mo?"

"Pablo Reinaldo Narvaez. 34. Bachelor. Wala ngang social media, but due to my extreme sleuthing skills, nakita ko siya in some tagged photos," she said. "Girl..." she continued and then looked at me and slowly nodded. "Approved."

Natawa ako. "Seriously?"

"I mean... gets ko na ngayon bakit pinahiya mo iyong sarili mo last night," she said. "But you shall redeem yourself tonight. Change plans na pala. 'Wag ka masyadong uminom. But be your usual charming self."

I groaned. "I know! I'm usually okay. Hindi ko alam bakit mukha akong tanga kagabi."

"Siguro kasi you're talking to him with a plan in your mind? Just try talking to him like you would other people," sabi niya. "It's easier to talk to people when you talk to them without any expectation or ulterior motives."

Jana gave me a lot of peptalk hanggang sa makarating kami sa Pablo's. Mas lalo akong kinabahan kasi parang mas maraming laman iyong parking lot ngayon as compared sa kagabi. Dapat siguro mas maaga kami para wala pang tao? Fuck. Ngayon pa nagbago ang isip kung kailan nandito na kami, e.

Nauna akong maglakad since tumawag iyong jowa ni Jana. Pagpasok ko sa loob, agad na nakita ko si Pablo. He was doing his job, as usual. Huminga ako nang malalim. I should've finished at least a glass of wine bago ako pumunta dito.

As I took a deep breath, I walked straight to the bar. I took the empty seat on the near end and just waited until his eyes eventually drifted my direction. Nakita ko iyong kaunting pagiling niya at pagngiti nang makita niya ako.

"I said I'll think about the offer," sabi niya nang makalapit siya sa gawi ko.

"I know," I replied. "But the wedding's the day after tomorrow."

"Oh. So, I'm guessing I'm a last minute replacement?" he asked, his brow arched a little.

Bahagya akong natawa. "And if you are?"

"I'd have to see first who I'm replacing."

"I didn't peg you as insecure."

"Oh, I've been pegged already," sabi niya. "Do tell me about myself."

God, why was he so hot? Kahit simpleng pagsasalita niya pa lang, para bang gusto ko nang bawiin iyong sinabi ko kanina na wala ako rito para sa one night stand. Pwede naman kasing multiple night stand. Wala namang hard and fast rule.

"Give me a drink first."

"Gin and tonic?"

"Yeah."

I watched as he prepared my drinks. Hindi ko maiwasan na mapatingin sa braso niya, sa mga daliri niya, sa mga lecheng ugat na 'yan na kung saan-saan dinadala iyong isip ko.

Why was I so weak for veins?

"You're not replacing anyone," sabi ko sa kanya. "I'm just really picky," I continued. "This is the part where you should be flattered."

Napangisi na siya. I mean, at the very least, I was amusing for him. That's something already kaysa naman boring ako.

"What made you pick me?" tanong niya. "Oh, thank you for the honor."

"No problem," I said, casually shrugging as I sipped my drink. "Do you want the real story?"

"Always," sabi niya. "Not a big fan of lies."

"Oh, so you're an honest person?"

He shrugged again. "I try to be," sabi niya. "Lies complicate things. I prefer life simple and easy."

"So... that's why you're in this business? Is it really easy?"

Tumango siya. "I'm earning while doing something I enjoy—life can't get easier than that," simple niyang sabi. "So, what's the story?"

Napatingin ako sa mga bagong dating. "You have new customers."

"I have employees," sabi niya.

"Oh, now, the attention is on me," I replied.

"Yes," direktang sabi niya na for some reason, halos maputol ang paghinga ko. Pero pilit akong kumalma dahil ayokong magmukhang tanga sa harapan niya.

"Another drink," sabi ko. "I'm not driving."

"Okay," sabi niya tapos ay pinaghanda niya ulit ako ng inumin. "Do you mind if we move somewhere else? Because people will think I'm still on duty."

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure," I said.

He made two drinks. Nakasunod ako sa kanya kung saan man siya pupunta. Naka-heels na ako at lahat pero mas matangkad pa rin siya sa akin. I saw Jana winked as we passed by him. Napatingin tuloy ako nang ituro niya iyong pwet ni Pablo. Lecheng babae talaga 'to.

Mukhang sa veranda niya balak kaya lang may dalawang nagmmakeout doon kaya tumalikod si Pablo at humarap sa akin.

"My office?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," I replied, shrugging, kahit na ang totoo, bigla akong napaisip na office... with doors closed...

Me and this hot guy?

Everything can happen.

The cold air welcomed me nang buksan niya iyong pinto ng opisina niya. I was actually impressed nang makita ko na maayos iyong lugar niya. I didn't know why I expected him to be messy e tignan mo pa lang siya as a person, sobrang ayos niya.

"You can sit down," sabi niya nang nakita niya na nakatayo pa rin ako habang nakaupo na siya sa couch niya.

I discreetly took a deep breath as I sat on the couch. Since it was his office, hindi naman ganoon kalaki iyong couch. We were sitting a little close to each other. His right arm was on the armrest of the couch habang iyong isang kamay niya ay hawak iyong baso. Iyong inumin ko ay inilagay niya sa coffee table. Inabot ko rin iyon saka uminom.

"What did I tell you so far?" I asked because I hated that he makes me nervous.

"You have a wedding to attend to. You need a date. You're very picky."

I nodded. "Right," sabi ko. "So... We're attending my sister's wedding."

Napangisi siya. "We?"

I nodded. "You'll agree—you just don't know it yet." He shook his head in amusement. "The thing is... she's marrying my... I'd say ex but we were never really official."

I saw him nodding. "You still not over him?"

"I am," sagot ko pero tumango lang siya like hindi siya convinced. "I really am."

He shrugged. "So you need a date because?"

"Because I don't want to go there alone."

"Why not? It's your sister's wedding. Your family will be there."

"You don't know my family," sabi ko. "I love them, but they're terrible."

Natawa siya. "Then you can just attend the ceremony and leave."

"And then I'll be the topic of conversation."

"So?"

"I don't like it."

"Why do you care? You don't seem to like your family anyway."

"I just do," sabi ko. "And let's not pretend like you don't know that you look good."

Natawa siya. "Do I?"

Umirap ako. "Seriously? Fake humility isn't a nice shade on you, Pablo."

"I mean, beauty is subjective," sabi niya sa akin. "What looks good for you won't necessarily be attractive for someone else."

I didn't know if it was the alcohol talking but I was just really staring into his eyes... and his lips... alternately.

"Are you already drunk?" he asked because I must've looked dazed.

Tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. "Girlfriend?" I asked, but he didn't answer as quickly as I needed him to. "Do you have a girlfriend? Are you seeing someone?"

Umiling siya. "No," sagot niya.

I nodded. "Okay," sagot ko. "Do you have condoms?"

"What?" sabi niya na nakatingin sa akin at parang naiintindihan niya na.

"Do you have condoms?" I asked again.

"I mean, yes, of course," sagot niya.

"Okay," I said. "And lastly—you wanna fuck?" I asked because if there's anything I learned while fending for myself here in Manila is that if you don't ask for what you want, no one's gonna hand them to you on a silver platter.

And seriously, the worst thing you can get is a no... and often times, like tonight, what you'll get is the sweet, sweet sound of yes. 

**
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