Chapter five.

(AN – PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT)

The constant ticking of the clock was near enough driving me insane.

Its loud obnoxious sound was basically screaming at me that each second that passed proved my inner thoughts to be right.

Each second that passed was another second I’d failed to do the simplest task of falling asleep.

Each second confirming I was alone and always will be.

Each second seemed to get louder and if possible closer together.

Until ever my thoughts had been banished and all that my mind held was the ticking over and over like a broken record reserved only for the insane.

I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t lie there and listen to another second pass.

I climb out of bed and walk over to my draws grabbing a pair of leggings and a big oversized jumper.

Once dressed I grabbed my iPod and headed down stairs.

My coat was hung on a hook beside the front door I pulled it on as well as shoving on a pair of Dr.Marten boots.

I carefully open the heavy front door before shutting it equally as carefully behind me.

I zip up my coat shoving my hands deep into my pockets as I slowly walk against the blowing wind.

The once busy streets are now empty with one car passing by every couple of minutes.

The street lights dimly light my pathway as I walk aimlessly with no clear route or plan of where I’ll end up.

My music blasts loudly into my ears helping me drown out all the thoughts hidden deep in the back of my mind.

When its dark and empty at night the aloneness doesn’t feel so bad because I’ve chosen to be alone, I’ve chose to be the only figure walking past the dark houses.

I’ve chosen to be surrounded by silence.

Choosing this seems so much more peaceful and relaxing than being forced into it every single night.

The cool air only seems to get colder as the journey goes on making my teeth chatter as my hair blows in all directions blocking my vision at certain moments.

The stars twinkle softly and the half full moon shines upon me making everything look beautiful and clean.

The graffiti sprayed over walls and buildings looks like wonderful pieces of art, each hiding a story, a meaning and an artist.

The scattered litter looks just as alone as me, it’s out of place and cannot return to its rightful home without help.

The leaves fall slowly from the trees landing among already high piles of leaves creating a sea of brown, yellow, red and orange,

My feet carefully step past them not wanting to stand on them and squish their perfectly natural beauty.

The broken glass scattered at the roads edge glistens and shines in the dim light looking like fairy dust or something else magical.

The earth looks as if it’s come to a standstill and I’m the only one unaffected.

Its like someone pressed pause and I often wish that was the case, I wish a could pause, rewind, and fast-forward my life.

If I could I’d skip past every night and live happily throughout the bright day time pausing it whenever something amazing happened so I could live within that perfect moment for as long as possible.

I come to a stop when I reach a quite abandoned park, I carefully open the squeaky gate and walk over the bark chippings until I reach a swing.

As a child I always loved swings, I’d sit on them and push myself backwards and forwards using the force of my legs while Grace needed dad to push her as she couldn’t manage it alone.

With every movement I’d climb higher and higher getting closer and closer to the sky.

I often wished I was in the sky where it’s always big and open and then I could always be free.

Being alone in the sky seemed nice, a lot nicer than being alone on an earth full of people.

I push my feet of the ground instantly feeling like I was a child all over again in my ears I can still hear the childish screams and laughter coming from mine and Grace’s lips as we competed against one another to see who could fly the highest.

Each movement is bringing my closer and closer to the moon and that stars instead of the sun and honestly I think it looks a lot prettier this way.

After a while the colder air is beginning to take its toll on my body as I shiver and huddle further into my coat.

The swing come to a stop and I climb off gingerly  I walk a little further finding a bench and decide to sit down a little longer before heading home, that is if I can figure out how to get back.

The peaceful silence is broken by the sound of crunching leaves, perhaps I’m not alone after all.

A tall running figure comes into view as they jog underneath the street lamps running along the thin park path.

I divert my eyes to the ground not wanting to make awkward eye contact with the stranger.

‘’Alisa’’ I far too familiar voice calls out.

My eyes slowly lead up to see no other than Harry in front of me.

He bends over a little resting his hands on his knees as he catches his breath.

‘’What are you doing out here?’ ’He asks as his breathing slowly return to normal.

‘’I couldn’t sleep’’ I shrug quietly.

‘’Are you ok Alisa?’’ he asks now taking a seat beside me on the wooden bench.

‘’I’m fine’’ I mutter.

‘’When people say they’re fine it usually means they’re far from it’’ Harry says turning to face me.

‘’What wonderful observation skills you have’’ I joke lightly.

‘’Why can’t you sleep?’’ He asks.

‘’I don’t like being alone I guess, I don’t like the silence, the emptiness. I’m alone all the time and it just seems a lot more apparent on a night’’ I say, I’m not sure why I’m telling Harry this. I’ve never told anyone this before.

‘’You’re not alone Al, you’ve got me and Grace’’ He smiles softly.

‘’Al?’’ I laugh no one’s ever given me a nickname before.

‘’Yeah don’t you like it?’’

‘’No it’s nice’’ I smile.

‘’I am alone that’s just the thing I always feel alone, even in a room full of people’’ I explain still not sure why I’m telling Harry all this.

‘’Do you feel alone now?’’ He asks his hand resting on my arm gently.

No I don’t, I’m not sure why but I don’t feel alone when I’m with Harry.

I don’t tell him that though because that might seem a little odd and awkward because well it is really isn’t it?

Instead I decide to change the conversation.

‘’Can we go home now?’’ I ask weakly.

‘’Sure’’ Harry stays standing to his feet and holding his hand out to pull me up.

We walk slowly down the still empty roads in mostly silence with the odd few words muttered every so often.

Authors note ---- thank you all so much for reading, I love you all.

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