I CAN FEEL the darkness within me getting out onto the surface. The ugly part of me coming out, reaching for the surface; soon enough it will be shown. I tried being a nice person, I tried getting things the right way, but I have realized the right way only brings heartache, deception, hope breaks you, plays with your mind, finishes you. We are better off on our own, no love, no emotional attachment just moving on and doing what you got to do.

WHY WAS I MADE THIS WAY is beyond me, sometimes I question my faith as well, Is there really a God? Heaven? Hell? good and bad? Ik tired. TIRED of this world, tired of peoples judgement, tired of people playing God, taking lifes away, hating, talking, jugding without knowing or even remembering we all have a sob story.

IM TIRED of this world, Im tired of everything. Tired to see how the people that are the ones supposed to help you up, instead break you more or try to tell you what to do and what not to do. I've been an open book my whole life, seen people take advantage, turning it onto anweakness instead of it being a good thing that you have nothing to hide because it is ok to be human. I AM preparing myself to say goodbye to a part of me and welcome to another part of me.

WISH I could force myself to feel nothing at all. NUMBNESS... my great friend. The friend that doesn't let people's saying get to me cuz Im my own person, I make my own desicions, my own mistakes and hopefully learn from them if not then shame on me but thats how life goes right?

HATE THE FACT we were put on this shitty world with mostly being people worth less than trash without even asking us if we even wanted to be here in the first place. Why be put here to suffer? To be scared? To be traumatized. Why thank you whoms ever idea was to put me here, That was so nice of you (note the heavy sarcasm).

SO ANYWAYS I'll go with my hate filled self some place else. Don't know if anyone will be interested to read or even still read my post so... So long