The common room that night was an anarchy of colours and a cacaphony of noises.

Maddison hadn't wanted to be a part of the celebrations, so the rest of the team had set up a celebration party on the topmost floor of the boys dormitory.

I had never been to the fifteenth floor myself. However, it didn't seem to be much different than the rest of the hallways. The only difference was an extra set of staircase that led upstairs to the rooftop pool. Something that I hadn't been aware of until Isaish told me.

There were colourful streamers, snacks of every imaginable variety, loud electronic music blaring from the speakers and neon lights reflecting off every surface.

There were drinks, which puzzled me since it was forbidden. But then, I knew there were ways to surpass rules. It hadn't been an unusual occurrence at Stonewall either.

The moment that I stepped into the party that night, I was engulfed by a sea of people, half of whom I didn't recognize. A very drunken Hector pulled me into the middle of the room, putting a ridiculous feathered boa around my neck and asking me for a speech. I smiled at him awkwardly, trying to shake off the absurd accessory. Everyone wanted to congratulate me. Discuss with me what happened. It seemed like the people who hadn't believed that I was an Asterius before this, finally believed in me. Although, I wasn't entirely sure if it was a positive or a negative thing.

I stood in a corner as raucous dancing ensued. There was such infectious energy in the air, such roof-raising music that I almost felt intimidated. However, I couldn't help smiling.

I had never been part of any such party, preferring to stay by myself in my drab room. There didn't seem to be much to do except dancing and drinking. Aahan seemed to have thoughts similar to mine and had remained in his room, falling asleep even before Aris and I had left for the party.

I wasn't much of a dancer myself and had vowed never to touch the venom that had ripped apart my childhood.

Aris seemed to be basking in the uproarious celebration as he dunked what I expected was his fifth shot into his mouth. I found myself gazing at him for a while as he laughed. His usually sun-like hair looked dark under multicoloured lights. His eyes didn't look emerald but dark. However, the characteristic twinkle in them was back. It had been easy to go back to how everything had been and I was grateful to the illusionists.

I made up my mind suddenly and walked over to him, grabbing his arm as I spoke into his ear. "Can we get out of here, please?" I had to shout over the loud music.

He turned towards me, his face barely visible under the bright lighting, but I could hear him vaguely yell. "Okay."

I led him outside into the empty hallway. The music from inside caused the entire floor to vibrate. He grinned drunkenly at me. "I kinda liked it back there-" he turned and leaned onto the door, closing his eyes, "-it was fun," he whined.

I was amused at his intoxicated behaviour. His cheeks were reddish, but he looked carefree. Happy. Even if it was all a façade.

"Let's go to the roof." I led him up two flights of stairs. The rooftop was a wide, plane ground. I stepped onto it, walking towards the edge and gazed at the breathtaking view in front of me. The building was high, but I didn't feel the numbing fear. My heart rate still increased just a little, but as long as I wasn't leaning over the railing, I felt in control. Plus, with Aris around I couldn't imagine him letting me topple over the railing.

"Wow!" Aris whistled as he came and stood beside me, gazing at the view in front.

I could see entire Asteria from up there. The central building, the library, the classroom, the golden grille and the enigmatic sky with the twinkling stars. I lifted my face upwards and closed my eyes, relishing the beautiful view above, reliving the warmth of the stars in my chest.

Aris sat cross-legged on the ground, gazing upwards in wonder. "That's beautiful."

I sat beside him, leaning back slightly till I faced the blanket of stars above me. A dazzling display of celestial enigma.

"If you brought me here to stargaze, I'm going to have to take a rain check, Sunshine," he slurred, shaking his head. "I still fucking want to punch your pretty face for being a stuck up bitch."

I smirked. "All I heard was that you called me pretty."

He chuckled before sighing and taking a deep breath as he lay flat on his back, smiling up at the sky. The starlight was reflected in the vibrant emerald irises, striking an alluring harmony.

I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves.

"I'm sorry that I acted like such a dick," I said. I took another deep breath, nervously biting my lip as I continued, my eyes fixed on the railing in front of me. "I know it's not an excuse and that it sounds pathetic, but you deserve an explanation."

"I... I'm sorry I didn't know how to react. You only asked me because you guys cared," I looked upwards at the starry night as I continued. "I've never had friends Aris. Nothing close to it. I'm not used to people giving a fuck about me when it's not in their interest. Except my dad.  I didn't know how to react."

I looked at him and saw that he was gazing at me with a strange expression on his face. An unexplained shiver went down my back as I stared back at him.  He moved closer to me, and before I knew it, he had flung his arms around me and was hugging me close.
I was too shocked for a while, unable to react.

"That's really sad," he said, his voice muffled. His arms around me felt assuring. Comfortable. I didn't feel the need to push him away. Just like at the match. I melted into his embrace. "You deserve friends and...hugs and kisses...and love...and friendship...and joy..."

I laughed as he continued drunkenly. He leaned back. I started as I realized how close he was. I could feel the warmth radiating off him and smell the alcohol on his breath. However, it didn't detach my bad memories.

"Your...eyes are so fucking beautiful," he breathed and to my shock, his hand reached to my cheek, caressing it tenderly. I gazed at him as his smile disappeared. "You smell so good..."

I smirked. "Wow. I thought I was a stuck up bitch?"

He smiled softly. "That too. A stuck up bitch with a beautiful smile and beautiful eyes and the scent..." he sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes darkening. My heart raced in my chest. I felt conflicted. He leaned in slightly, his eyelids slowly fluttering shut as he whispered. "You're...really amazing Ezekiel."

My stomach clenched when he said my name. I bit my lip, turning my burning face away from him. I couldn't understand why my heart was hammering wildly in my chest. I steeled myself. I had to get it out. "There's something else."

He looked disappointed as lay back down and made a gun sign with his hand and pointed at me. "Shoot."

Something inside me told me that it would be a mistake to tell him. But I knew he deserved the truth. He had entrusted me with his, and now it was my turn. Sober Aris might still be too mad at me to listen to me.

"I might regret telling you this-" I began as he turned to look at me, his wavy hair tumbling onto his forehead.

"Did you hear...about Prince Ezra of Evimeria being killed in an accident years ago?"

I fixed my gaze on my shoes as I waited for him to respond.

"Yes. It was huge news. State mourning for two days. Flag-" he stretched out his hand, bending it, "-half-mast."

My heart was thudding in my chest, my stomach feeling like lead. Every nerve and sinew in my body told me it was a mistake. And yet, I ruthlessly went on. "It wasn't an accident. Not exactly," I took a deep breath, my fingers suddenly cold. "It was me. I lost control of my powers. I...killed Ezra."

Silence fell as the words left my mouth. With each passing second, my heart was falling. The noise from the party was muffled. The only sound was that of the slight breeze rustling gently, my blood pounding in my ear and that of Aris' steady breathing.

He sighed softly, his eyes serious, although still drunken. "You killed Prinze Ezra?"

I nodded, fixing my gaze on my shoes as I spoke further. "That is why Andreas-" I bit my tongue. "My...grandfather wanted a Znicit. My powers were too unpredictable. It was why I was sent to the mortal world."

I took a deep shuddering breath and continued into the horrific silence. "My father didn't want anyone else to know about my powers and altered the news so people wouldn't see me as...a murderer."

An uncomfortable silence followed my words. Finally, I looked at him and saw that he was sitting upright, cross-legged, thinking hard. "It...was unfortunate."

He slid over to me, his intense gaze unwavering. He shook his head as he looked at me. "It wasn't under your control." He spoke softly, assuredly. "Accidents can happen. You don't have to blame yourself."

I didn't say anything to him, burying my thoughts inside the deep chasm that I always had.

"It does explain why Elijah hates you, though," he mused. "I can't imagine-" he shuddered slightly before, he looked at me, and I saw a fleeting flash of something else in his eyes. It was so short-lived that I wondered if I had imagined it in the darkness. "Thank you for telling me, Sunshine," he said, smiling softly. I thought I saw his eyes flit to my lips for just a second, but was sure I had imagined it.

I nodded as he staggered to his feet. "You should come downstairs, have a few drinks. Lighten up."

"I don't drink," I said. He nodded before he walked away and called after him.

He yelled, "There are also some snacks you might like."

I sat there for a long while, my heart in turmoil. The worst part about what had happened to Ezra was not that my uncontrolled powers had killed him. It was that I hadn't felt sad.

I didn't feel remorse.

Ezra Ellerman had made my life a living hell. He teased me. Hit me. Made fun of me in front of everyone, humiliated me whichever chance he got. I hated him almost as much as I hated my stepfather.
I loathed Ezra.

The day he had died, the reason I was devastated was that I was terrified of the consequences. I was terrified of what would happen to me. I tried with everything that I had, but I couldn't find sadness in my heart.
I had felt envious of him. He had been the perfect prince. The perfect elder son. Beautiful. Intelligent. Skilled. He had power. Wealth. A loving family. He had everything at his disposal.

While I lived in the palace as the slightly prized rat.

I knew that not everyone believed that I was actually King Augustus' blood. They were refusing to believe that a child like me could have been born of the regal Ellerman line. I felt jealous of Ezra. I still felt jealous of Elijah.

I opened my palm, gazing at the orb of light now hovering over it. I could feel its warmth, but somehow, it never penetrated my skin. It was true that I had hated Ezra Ellerman. I had been insanely jealous of him. I had wanted to be him. I knew that I would never hurt him purposefully. And hurting him fatally was out of the question.
But sometimes when at night I lay in the darkness, I had wondered to myself. Is it possible that somewhere deep inside, I had hated him to the most extreme level? Was I actually such a monster?

My attention wavered as the orb of light flickered and died, leaving in its wake, indomitable darkness.