IT IS ANOTHER STARRY NIGHT AND I AM SPENDING IT WITH YOU AGAIN. IT IS ANOTHER SILENT NIGHT AND I AM SPENDING IT DRINKING WHISKY AS I STARE AT MY HEADSTONE. I NO LONGER FEEL RAGE AS I POUR THIS FOUL LIQUID DOWN MY THROAT; I FEEL SADNESS. I FEEL LOSS. I FEEL LONGING. I FEEL MYSELF AT A LOSS FOR WORDS BECAUSE I NO LONGER KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU AND I LONG, GOD DAMN DO I LONG FOR THE SMELL OF VODKA, COFFEE AND PERFUME THAT YOU USED TO GIVE ME.

I SEE THEM EVERY NIGHT, DID YOU KNOW THAT MY LOVE? FROM A DISTANCE THEY ALMOST REMIND ME OF YOU. I WATCH THEM SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND LIGHT ANOTHER ONE FOR THEIR LOVER. I WATCH AS THE CIGARETTE BURNS OUT AND TURNS INTO NOTHING BUT ASHES. IT REMINDS ME OF YOU.

I AM WATCHING THEM LIGHT A (cigarette) for their lover. i am watching as they walk away and oh god, oh god, oh god is the loneliness getting worse. i want her to come back. i don't want her to let that beautiful, beautiful (cigarette) go. i walk over to the grave and i can feel my [bottle sliding out of my fingertips as they search for something new to cling onto. i can hear the glass cracking and breaking and biting into my ankle but i don't care. my fingers pick up the (cigarette) from the whisky soaked grave and by god is it beautiful. it is like is silk weaved into patterns in which i can see the lines of your smile, the wrinkles beside your eyes and the shape of my headstone.