~15 December~

Your POV

"So... are you ready for this party?" Dan chirps as he skips into the living room.

I feel my heart plummet.

The truth is I'm anything but ready. Right now I'd rather stay in this living room forever, in this moment.

But I can't. Because what has to happen must happen. And what must happen must happen tonight.

"Yeah," I lie, the lump in my throat growing bigger and bigger.

"Let's go then," he holds out his hand, which I take.

~Time skip~

I don't speak. I don't look at anyone. I just stare down at my plate, hoping that everyone will ignore me.

This is the night I've been dreading since I layed out my plan.

And soon, the moment I've been dreading the most is about to come.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Dan whispers in my ear. I nod and take a quick glance at Caspar who sits across from me.

My stomach churns at even the thought of the guilt I'm about to feel.

I pull out my phone, biting my lip and holding back a tear fighting to be let go.

You: I need to talk to you. Meet me by the bathroom at 7?

I press send with my shaky finger, already regretting it.

I feel like throwing up when I hear Caspar's phone go off and see him look up at me out of the corner of my eye.

Pineapple: Everything ok?

I look up and nod as I feel Dan's hand slip into mine.

I can't do this... but I have to...

~Time skip - 7 o'clock~

"I'm just going to the bathroom. Do you think you could get us some drinks and meet me outside the bathroom door? I need to talk to you about something," I manage to say without screaming.

He nods and stands. "I'll go get them now."

As he leaves, I watch as Caspar makes his way to the bathrooms.

With my whole body shaking, I get up and follow him.

It's just us now- quiet and alone. It just makes things worse.

"Caspar, I need you to know that what is about to happen isn't anything. I just... I just need to do something very important. Please don't talk to me about it. And please, whatever happens after this, stay here. Don't follow me and ask questions."

"Y/N, what's going on?" His voice is just as shaky as my hands and knees.

I'm about to tell him not to worry, that I'll explain another time when I hear a voice behind me.

"So, what do we need to talk about?"

I act quickly. I grasp Caspar's shirt, pushing him against the wall and pressing my lips against his.

It feels wrong. It hurts. It feels as if God is watching down on me, disgusted and ready to banish me to hell.

I don't get how people who cheat do it so casually. I can't even do it to save the one I love without feeling like one of Satan's minions, being forced to do everything I shouldn't.

The sound of smashing glass is what gets me to finally break away from Caspar.

Trying as hard as I can to look like I'm not about to turn into a crying mess, I turn around and look into the eye's of the man who I was hoping to spend my whole life with.

The look of shock and heartbreak on his face will always haunt me.

"Y-Y/N? How? W-why?" He stammers.

"Shut up, Dan. You knew from the start that you weren't special. You knew I always had feelings for Caspar."

Silence.

"You know what? I thought you actually loved me. And just like me thinking I loved you, it was childish."

I thought the pain I felt leading up to this moment was painful. Oh, was I wrong. I don't think I've ever felt actual pain until I watched him march away, his sobs so loud I could hear them from across the room above the music.

Not only is my heart being ripped to pieces, but every little piece is being crushed by a billion tonnes of bricks and then set on flames.

Every memory of Dan is instantly drained of that warm, fuzzy feeling of love and replaced with guilt.

"Y/N-"

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

Everything around me blurs and the music and shouts of a room full of drunks becomes muffled as I push through the crowd, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Y/N!" I hear Phil's voice from behind me, and I know he and Tess are struggling to follow me.

I finally make it out into the cold, London air and let the tears flow, hoping to have time to myself.

Only, it doesn't last long.

I hear the sound of the door opening and closing, followed by Tess's worried voice.

"Oh gosh, Y/N. Let's get you back to the flat. Are you sure you want to leave tonight? You should stay here until you feel better-"

"No," I mumble.

"What do you mean leave? What's happening? Y/N, where's Dan?" Phil's puzzeld voice manages to speak over my wailing.

"Not now, Phil!" Tess snaps. "Let's just go back to the flat now. Your flight doesn't leave for another two hours."

Everything after that just feels like a blur. I'm not sure if I fell asleep in the cab or just cried so much that the drive felt like just a few seconds.

All I know is now I sit in the living room of the flat I am soon to leave, my two best friends either side of me.

"So, hang on. Let me just get my head around things. You're leaving? Where? Why? What about Dan?" A still confused Phil questions me.

"You don't have to tell him Y/N-"

"No. I want to. He should know," I cut Tess off.

I take a deep breath and begin.

"I had a boyfriend before Dan. His name was Elliot. I thought he was the perfect man. He convinced me he was. And being the foolish girl I was, I let him.

I remember my first trip with him. We travelled the UK and spent our last few days in Dublin. That's where I saw behind the mask. That's where I found out who he truly was. He threw me at the wall after he thought I was texting a secret lover.

Things just kept getting worse and worse. Everytime I thought it was the end. Until one night he came over, drunk, demanding I do it with him and began to beat me in front of Alex when I refused to the point of needing an ambulance.

He was put in prison and now he's out, and he's looking for me. If I don't go now he's going to hurt all of you. Especially Dan. I'm so, so sorry Phil."

"Where are you going?"

"LA," Tess answers for me.

Phil's long arms slide around my waist and pull me into his chest, where I begin to cry once more.

~Time skip~

I let go of Tess and turn to Phil. It hurts even more saying goodbye to him. Since I moved to London, he's always been there for me. He's become my brother. Now I'm leaving him, after all we've been through.

I dive into his arms, savouring every last second I have left with him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

"Hey, it's not your fault."

We stand in each other's arms, swaying side to side, until the dreadful sound of my flight being called forces us to break apart.

I grab onto his hand as I slowly back away, holding onto him for as long as I can.

"Take care of Dan for me," I say as just the tips of our fingers touch, then turn around and walk away, not even trying to fight the tears anymore.

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A/N

Heheh..... uhhhhh... you guys still love me, right?

Who am I kidding, you never loved me in the first place.

I know that this chapter was kinda crappy and I really have nothing to make up for it.

Btw, I don't know if Caspar was at that Christmas party (that Dan left early to edit a video, or in the case of the story, "edit a video") but he did go now because I kinda needed to.

And uhh... the end of the next chapter might be triggering... just saying.