Ok so i feel so much better
I feel so light after all this weight left my shoulders
I feel less depressed
That test was slowly killing me
But i had nothing to worry about
The SAT was a bit easier than i thought
Some of the algebra i understood and other parts i was like "god take me now'
I was so nervous i forgot my zip code XD
But i had a really shitty day on friday

This guy kept pressuring me to answer a math question i didnt understand and kept telling me i was going to fail and be miserable if i didnt do it

And i kept telling him to stop and told him he didnt know me

and he kept saying he did and saying obvious facts

And i simply replied with

Dude i cry myself to sleep
I feel desperate
I feel like i dont belong here
I've done things i regret
Yet i keep doing them
You DONT know me

And i completely stayed quiet trying to not burst into tears

And he kept tellimg me u was supposed to be talking because being quiet isnt me and he's supposed to be the quiet one and all that crap

I just kept quiet

Im actually a very quiet person
All my teachers have told my mom i have to speak and participate

The most I've ever participated in one day was twice

And he kept telling the guy i like to help him because i would talk

And my crush looked at me and told the guy i was concentrating

I just wanted to die or let the Earth consume me

I wanted to cry so bad

But now that im done with that stupid SAT
Im relieved
My parents say its fine if i dont pass but i know they'll be greatly disappointed

And i felt so out of place because i was the only Hispanic there and then i gelt as if i was representing all of hispanics and I know it sounds stupid but i overthink things so much to the point where i shut every thing out and UGHH

But i found it funny how i asked a guy where the test was being held and he asked me if i was taking this other test (idk)
And i was like
no.. im taking the SAT

He's like

Oh its on the 4th floor

I mean i wouldnt believe me either

Im literally 4'9

And look like a 6th grader

I haven't grown since summer :0

And I'm coming out in the yearbook as the shortest 8th grade girl :'3
I'll show you guys when the book arrives

Here you go