"Where is he? Where's my kit!"

Aspenpaw looked up as Hazelbreeze burst into the medicine den. Dry gave a little squeak from behind her as Poppydust moved towards her foster mother.

"Hazelbreeze, I'm doing what I can, but..."

"Where is he?" she screeched, ducking around the medicine cat and rushing toward the nest, letting out a wail at the sight of him.

Icepaw had not regained consciousness yet. The patrol that had brought them back had carried him straight to the medicine den. Ravencall had stayed there beside him as Poppydust had worked on him. He lay limp in the nest, as still as though already gone.

Ravencall stepped forward and held his mate away from their son. "I know..." he murmured. "Poppydust is doing her best... but..."

She whimpered, burying her face into his shoulder. "I need to be with him."

"Don't move him." He murmured letting her by. "He needs to be kept still... Poppydust is worried his back is hurt."

She approached cautiously, settling herself down at the side of the nest, lowering her head and burying her nose in his pelt. "Oh, Icepaw."

Aspenpaw lay still, her eyes never shifting from him even as Dry rubbed a poultice onto the wounds from the badger's teeth. The most important thing in the world was that Icepaw kept breathing. She silently willed it as she watched him. In.... out... in... out...

"Aspenpaw?" She raised her head slightly as Dry spoke. "I'm done. It should feel a bit better now."

She got to her paws, testing out her limbs. "It does. Thank you Dry. What was that?"

"Marigold." She said a little shyly. "My mother taught me about herbs."

"She taught you well." Aspenpaw purred a little before moving over to Icepaw's nest. Poppydust was speaking softly to Ravencall and Hazelbreeze.

"I've made him comfortable." She murmured. "We need to just see how it goes."

Aspenpaw peered into the nest. His face was furrowed in pain. She reached out and touched her nose gently to the top of his head. "Why did you follow me..." she whispered. "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt... wake up... please wake up..."

Dry moved forward and gently led her away from the nest. "Come on." She murmured. "We can't do anymore for him right now."

Aspenpaw followed the she-cat blindly, silently grateful for the dictation. She couldn't shake the image of him flying through the air as the badger swiped at him, his limp form bouncing along the ground like a clumsy fledgling. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

The two of them walked out of the medicine den into the camp. Xerxes was animatedly talking to a small group of cats as the stranger watched from a distance. As they approached, he reared up on his hind paws, drawing his paw across his throat dramatically and several of the cats gasped. Aspenpaw stopped as she realised what he was saying to them. A little part of her wanted to rush up and claw his ears for turning what had happened into some sort of joke. Did he not realise the seriousness of it all?

Then one of the cats turned towards her and she felt her stomach jolt. Tigerfang narrowed his eye and strode towards her. "I want to talk to you." He snapped as he walked past her towards the edge of the camp. "Now."

She thought she could feel the gaze of other cats on her again, but she obediently turned and hurried after her mentor, feeling her stomach twist with anxiety. He was always blunt and wasn't overly friendly, but he had never sounded so mad at her as he did now. She realised as he stopped and turned, looking at her just how enraged he was. She stopped before him, bracing herself for her scolding.

"What Xerxes has been saying." He said, his voice quiet but dripping with anger. "That you took him and Dry to Windclan, and told him and that other cat how to fight a badger. Is it true?"

She lowered her gaze. "Yes." She mewed her ears flattening in embarrassment. There was no point in denying it.

"Do you have any idea the seriousness of what you've done!" he snarled. "You disobeyed your leader, your deputy and me! You could have caused a war between Thunderclan and Windclan!"

She heard the thudding of paws and glanced up to see Xerxes beside her. "Please don't punish her!" he mewed with a mixture of regret and boldness in his voice. "I was the one that asked..."

He trailed off as Tigerfang turned his eye on him. "If I had wanted to talk to you, I would." He hissed. "You've done enough. Now get back over there." He snarled the last sentence and Xerxes turned and scampered back to where Dry and the stranger were watching with horror in their eyes.

"I... I'm sorry..." she whispered, bringing Tigerfang's attention back to her.

"You're not stupid or headstrong." He growled, his rage still emanating off him. "You know how fragile the relationships between the clans can be, and yet you think yourself above the warrior code and just go gallivanting off in the middle of the night. I'd have expected it from them but not from you. And moreover, you endangered your own life and the lives of other cats. You got Icepaw seriously hurt."

She suddenly gave a whimper and Tigerfang paused in his scolding, suddenly seeming to sense the utter misery coming off of his apprentice. "I think I've killed him!" she suddenly wailed despairingly slumping to the floor and burying her face into her paws, aware that cats would probably be staring at them now, but not caring.

She felt a tail drape over her and looked up. Tigerfang had laid down beside her, blocking her from view of the rest of the clan. She felt that sense of helplessness coming from him again, but could see he was doing his best to try to comfort her. She lowered her head again, waiting for the whimpering to subside. After several moments, he looked back at her and she was glad to see that the anger was gone from his eye. "I was going to punish you in some way for what you did, but I think you're punishing yourself enough." He said gently.

"What will I do?" she murmured. "If Icepaw dies, and it's my fault."

"It's not entirely your fault." He said softly. "You didn't throw him across that clearing."

"Don't try to take the blame away!" she mewed loudly. "I know what I did, and I know it was my fault... I just can't bear to lose him."

"I know." He murmured. "He's your brother as well as your best friend. I'm not sure what I'd do if something happened to Blackheart..."

For a long time, they sat there, mentor and apprentice but for the first time, Aspenpaw felt a familial connection to her uncle that she had never felt before. "I didn't mean to react so angrily." He murmured at last. "I was frightened when I went to the den this morning and you weren't there. More so when Dry came back to the camp and said there was a badger. I wish you had seen how quickly I left the camp." He looked down at her. "But you managed to guide two untrained cats in a fight against a fully-grown badger. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little impressed... but I'm not encouraging you to go doing it again. Go looking for trouble again and next time I will punish you."

She nodded. "I understand." She murmured. "But I didn't do much... just did what I thought you would do in that situation."

He gave a little purr of amusement. "Flattering..." he muttered. "Are you alright?"

She nodded getting to her paws. "I'll be fine." She mewed. "I... I'm so... thank you..." she finished meekly.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the high ledge for a clan meeting." Silverstar's voice rang out before Tigerfang could respond.

They both turned to see the clan beginning to gather around the ledge. Directly in front of the leader, sat the three outsiders. Tigerfang's eye widened a little. "This can't be good..." he muttered.

As the two of them followed towards the crowd, Blackheart appeared. "Aspenpaw, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She assured him. "What's going on?"

"Silverstar is furious." He whispered turning so that they joined the crowd. "She wants the whole clan to witness their punishment."

She stared at him. "Punishment?"

"Clan mates!" thundered Silverstar and their attention snapped back to the leader. "Before you stand two of the most insolent cats I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my entire time as leader. Not only have they disobeyed a direct command, but they brought one of their stranger friends onto our territory."

Aspenpaw sprang away from where she was standing beside her father and weaved in and out of the muttering cats to the front of the crowd. Now closer, she could see the rage in her mother's face as she gazed down at the three loners. Xerxes was as per usual glaring at the leader defiance lighting his gaze. Beside him, the stranger was looking guiltily at his own paws while on his other side, Dry was cowering slightly, trembling in fear.

Without thinking, Aspenpaw hurried forward and stood at Dry's side. "They didn't bring him!" she cried, gently resting her tail over the frightened cat's back. "He was being chased by a badger. He didn't know, he was trying to save himself. He helped us to fight it. If we hadn't, it might have come here and we'd not have known until it was too late."

Silverstar's eyes snapped to her daughter as the mutterings in the crowd increased. "Oh yes..." she murmured before raising her voice to quiet the mutterings. "See here clan mates, this disobedient apprentice who even when told not to do something, believed herself to be above the rules of the clan and did it anyway, leaving the camp in the middle of the night and going to Windclan. Of all places!"

"She was taking me!" growled Xerxes. "Starclan guided us there so that I could say goodbye to my father."

Aspenpaw glanced at him. Had he changed his mind about Starclan? A few voices called out.

"His father?"

"Is he from Windclan?"

"Starclan guided a kittypet?"

"My father was Blackfang of Windclan." Xerxes called turning to face the clan. "He died last night after I said goodbye to him." There were a few moans of sorrow at this. Aspenpaw noticed that Tigerfang had lowered his head sadly. "I believe Starclan led me to you to help me find my father and maybe find a new home in the forest."

He turned back to Silverstar who was shaking in rage. Her eyes were wide and crazed. "No!" she screeched. "You have already disobeyed my orders. I have no space in my clan for those who go against my word." She paused, her eyes flicking to Aspenpaw. "For any who go against my word."

She stared at her mother. Was she saying what she thought she was?

"As leader, I hand down my punishment-"

Before she could finish her verdict, the crowd of cats erupted in caterwauls of defiance. Silverstar paused mid-sentence staring around.

"You can't do that!" cried Blackheart, leaping forward, his hackles rising.

"They've done nothing that wrong!" yelled Robinblaze, his fur bushing up.

"Are you crazy?" snarled Creekshadow. "They killed a badger!"

Aspenpaw blinked around at her clan mates as they argued on behalf of her and the loners. As far as she could see, there was not a single cat that wasn't protesting vehemently in the clearing. Beside her, Dry raised her head slightly, a tiny glimmer of hope lighting her eyes. The stranger was staring around at the group of cats, his eyes wide. Xerxes never took his eyes from Silverstar.

The leader looked a little taken aback at the outpouring of support for the four young cats. After several moments, she raised her tail for silence. "Clan mates... as leader, my word is law..." her voice was quiet, almost nervous. "But I have heard your cry for lenience. I will think on this, and pass my judgement in a few days. Until then, the loners will sleep in the apprentice den and take part in clan activities. They must earn their stay with us." She turned away into her den, signalling that the meeting was over.

She felt her legs shake and Dry pressed herself against her. "It's ok." She whispered. "We're alright. She's letting us stay"

Aspenpaw nodded. "I know." She murmured. "For some reason, that makes me just as worried."

After the clan meeting, Aspenpaw returned to the medicine den, spending the day as close to Icepaw as she could. Dry remained with her for much of the day, every so often ducking out to stretch her legs. She watched Poppydust working, apparently fascinated. Around sunset, Robinblaze appeared in the den, carrying a fat pigeon.

"I thought you two might be hungry." He murmured, putting the bird down before them. Aspenpaw ignored it, her gaze flicking back to Icepaw.

Dry however stepped forward. "Thank you, that's really kind of you..." She glanced at Aspenpaw before looking back at Robinblaze. "Would you like to share it with me?"

He smiled. "Thank you." He bent his head to take a bite. "I wish it was rabbit though."

Dry nodded as she bit into the bird. "Rabbit is my favourite."

His eyes sparkled as he looked at her. "Mine too."

The two of them continued to eat, chatting quietly. Aspenpaw glanced over at them at one point, wishing they wouldn't do it in here. However, Hazelbreeze and Ravencall seemed too caught up with Icepaw to care. His brow was no longer furrowed in pain, but his breathing seemed slightly shallower now.

Eventually, Poppydust walked slowly over. "I can take care of him for tonight." She murmured. "All of you go get some rest."

Hazelbreeze reluctantly stood, gently pressing her nose into his cheek before turning away and trudging out of the den. Ravencall followed closely beside her, his tail draped over her shoulders comfortingly. Robinblaze followed them quickly and Dry stood, looking back at Aspenpaw. "Are you coming?"

She didn't respond. She couldn't bring herself to move away from her foster brother. He had been the one who had been there for her throughout those long nights. When she had woken in the nursery crying out, he had woken every time and sat with her until she was sleeping peacefully again. For some reason, she just knew that tonight, she needed to be with him.

As Dry left, Poppydust sat beside her. "Aspenpaw... I won't lie... you won't want to be here when you wake..."

She looked up at the medicine cat, her dark eyes blank. "No... but I need to be here." She said firmly. 

Before Poppydust could say another word, she climbed carefully into the nest and laid down beside him, being careful not to move him, lying close enough that their fur was touching. After a few moments, Poppydust dipped her head, as though quietly giving her permission before walking away to the back of the den. Aspenpaw rested her head on her paws and closed her eyes, hoping against hope that he would wake up tomorrow.

"Aspenpaw?"

She opened her eyes to find herself in a gleaming meadow. Just ahead of her was a ginger tom, his tail raised in greeting, his eyes warm.

"Alderheart!" she cried jumping to her paws and running to him, rubbing her muzzle along his jawline. "It's so good to see you."

He purred in welcome. "And you, my little one."

Then she stepped back. "Why am I here?" she asked.

His expression became grave. "I called you here, because... your friend is a little lost."

As he spoke, Aspenpaw spotted Icepaw a few foxlengths away, looking around in bewilderment. She looked up at Alderheart. "Was he really hurt so bad?"

"The injury is in his spine." Alderheart nodded. "It is not untreatable, but he also suffered a bad shock which has affected some of his organs. He's on the brink of joining us in Starclan. I thought that you might wish to speak to him."

"Do you have the desire to take him?" she asked desperately, her eyes wide as she looked up at her old friend. "You said Starclan had no desire to take Robinblaze and he lived. Do Starclan want Icepaw now?"

"Go and speak to him." Urged Alderheart. "He needs someone he knows right now."

Aspenpaw looked away. She couldn't lose Icepaw. She just couldn't...

... but if the injury was in his back... the cats were all afraid of those, especially after the stories of Briarlight. She looked at her gentle friend, imagining him if he ended up wasting away in the medicine den. He deserved better than that...

She nodded to Alderheart before walking slowly towards Icepaw. As she did so, he turned and spotted her. "Aspenpaw!" he cried, running towards her. "I'm so glad you're here. What's going on? Where are we?"

She looked away, not able to meet his eyes. "We're in Starclan." She murmured. "This is their hunting grounds."

He looked at her, his eyes widening in surprise. "Did... did the badger get you too?"

"No." she shook her head. "I'm fine... I'm with you in the medicine den... I've been here before. When my siblings came here, I came to see them go."

He blinked at her. "I don't understand."

But as she looked up, she could see in his eyes that he knew what this meant. There was a fear and a strange courage in them she had never seen there before. "Icepaw..." she stepped forward and pressed her cheek against his. "I don't want you to go... but I can't make you stay either."

He drew back and looked down at her. "Aspenpaw..."

"I don't want to be in Thunderclan without you..." she whispered, closing her eyes and looking away so he wouldn't see the sorrow there. "But it would be selfish to ask you to come back for me. So..."

The air around her grew still... far too still. She opened her eyes and found herself back in the medicine den. For a moment, she looked around, confused as to why she was there, then looked back at the still form beside her.

He looked so peaceful, he could have been asleep. She placed a paw on his side, feeling for his breathing... but he was completely still.

"Icepaw..." she murmured, feeling as though she were shattering. "Icepaw, can you hear me?" She shook him slightly. "If you can, wake up... wake up... please..."

His head lolled limply as she moved him. A pain began building in her chest and she was certain her heart was breaking. The selfish side of her cursed not begging him to come back to Thunderclan with her, but the more rational side of her knew this was for the best. Icepaw would never have been able to be happy if he couldn't even walk. He would never have been able to just lie in a nest for the rest of his life.

She shifted closer to him, nestling herself in beside him, tucking her nose under his chin, trying to lose herself in his scent before the smell of death began to set in. Strange as it sounded, she was already missing him.

Suddenly he twitched and drew a little gasp. She looked up. "Icepaw?" His yellow eyes flickered open. He gave a little grunt as he tried to raise his head. "No, don't move." She told him, feeling relief crash over her as his sides began to rise and fall more regularly.

He blinked. "What... where..." Then he turned his head slightly. "Aspenpaw?"

"I'm here." She mewed, rasping her tongue over his ears. "You're safe. We're in Poppydust's den."

"Where you said you were." He whispered. "I had the strangest dream..."

"Oh yes?" she looked at him curiously. "Want to talk about it?"

"I was in a meadow." He murmured. "I didn't know where I was... then you appeared and told me we were in Starclan's hunting grounds... and you told me... you basically said it was my decision to stay or come back to Thunderclan... then... I couldn't see you anymore, and I saw Alderheart there instead... and he told me... he said that if I returned..." He frowned as though trying to remember. "He said I would have pain every day of my life. It would get easier, and I would learn to cope... he said I would one day get better... and I would find happiness... but I needed to work for it... whereas if I went, I would know safety and no hunger forever..."

She blinked. "Then why did you come back?"

"All I kept thinking was..." he raised his eyes to hers. "... I need to stay with you..." For a long moment the two of them just stared at one another. "Not in a one day we'll be mates kind of way." He clarified suddenly looking a little abashed. "As in a... I wouldn't want to be in Thunderclan without you kind of way... and then I was back..." He blinked. "Did it really happen?"

She pressed herself closer to him a deep purr rumbling through her. "Does it matter?"

He nodded before closing his eyes. "I guess not..."

She watched him for several moments, before glancing towards the entrance of the den. A weak dawn light was beginning to shine into the camp. His breathing began to deepen as he drifted back to sleep. She glanced back at him before lowering her own head to try to get a little more sleep. As she lay listening to his breathing, she heard pawsteps and her eyes snapped open, her head jolting up, ready to defend her friend if she needed to.

"It's just me." The stranger whispered. "I... came to ask how he is..."

She narrowed her eyes. "If it weren't for you, he would be fine..."

He looked a little surprised at her tone but stepped forward. "I... also came to see how you are."

She sniffed. "Just leave me alone." She muttered. "If you had just led that badger elsewhere, or hadn't been in our territory, Icepaw wouldn't have been hurt..."

The young dark loner came still closer and sat beside Icepaw. He reached out and laid a paw on his side. "If it weren't for Icepaw, I would probably have been killed." He looked back at her. "I owe him my life... and you... I never caught your name..."

She flicked an ear at him dismissively. "Aspenpaw."

He seemed to jump a little. "Aspen?" he whispered before dipping his head, almost apologetically. "I'm Shadow." He murmured lying down beside her. "I owe you my life too, Aspenpaw. And Xerxes and Dry too..."

She looked at him sideways. "Why are you here?"

"I came to see how he was."

"No, more than that..." she hesitated. "Why are you in the forest?"

He looked away for a moment. "I had a dream... I was told to find an aspen that's golden all year round so naturally, I figured if I'm looking for a tree, the forest would be the best place to start... but I think..." he took a breath and looked up at her. "I think I was looking for you."

--- 

A/N

Creekshadow owned by Hannah Rowe

Dry owned by Meadow Leon Flower

Xerxes owned by Nicholas Mullen