I was in daze. Everything was a blur as i dashed out of my place. I didn't care about what i was wearing and the fact that it was 2 in the morning. The street was empty as i sprinted. The shops were closed and the only thing shining my way were the dimly lit lamps on the street. My thoughts were filled of you— it was like my efforts of forgetting you had come to waste.

I couldn't stop myself from running, even though i was out of breath. Unwanted tears kept blocking my vision, causing my eyes to drift half closed. I whimpered your name several times, hoping that i was able to face you that early morning.  My voice quavered as i spoke your name one last time before fastening my pace to reach you.

The sound of sirens reminded me of you. How you told me that you heard sirens on the first time we met. I was ready to help you anytime but that day, i was helpless just like you. I couldn't do anything but wiping away my tears silently, trying to make it not too obvious that i was crying for you.

As i arrived at the terrifying white building, i stood still— frozen at the main entrance. I was afraid to take the next step because i knew if i took it, i could never turn back. There was a war in my head as sweats dripped down my forehead. I thought there was an earthquake but it was only me, trembling so hard from running and my legs were getting numb.

"This will be the last time," I whispered to myself.

"I'll let go of you."

I took the next step. I traveled around the terrifying place, trying to find familiar faces that i could come to. I didn't ask the people in there, that was how much of a coward i am. I was wasting time on purpose because i wasn't ready to face you, Jeonghan.

And then i saw my cousin, leaning against the white wall as he frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair. I stopped my track. I was scared yet again, i wanted to back away and run. But i was late when Seungcheol locked his gaze on mine. His eyes were teary, and i didn't know why.

So i took a step, and another, and another, and another, until i became more scared than i already was. We kept looking into each other's eyes, it was as if he wanted to tell me something but i couldn't understand what it was. I couldn't read him like i always read your mind.

Without even asking, without me saying even a word to him, Seungcheol shook his head several times. That was when he broke down, kneeing on the floor as he buried his face on his hands. I stayed still on my position.

"I'm sorry," Seungcheol sobbed.

I looked away from him and found his girlfriend sitting on the metal chair, calming down the girl who was crying heavily in her arms. Is that your new girlfriend, Jeonghan?

"I'm so sorry."

Why does everyone keep saying sorry?

"He's gone."

That really was the last time, for me and also for you, Jeonghan.