It took exactly two minutes and fifty eight seconds for me to fully regret what I'd said.

I got into my car, blared the music, and tried to shut off my mind, but that was an impossibility. What the hell was I thinking? I freaking volunteered for a double date with the guy who I was trying to avoid. I groaned, smacking my hands against the hot steering wheel. It's going to be the most awkward night of my life.

Work was good. Even as far as first days go. It felt good to be actually doing something and helping out my parents. We might have money now, but that wasn't always the case and I don't ever want to be like some of the people I'd gone to high school with that never have and probably never will have any idea what it's like to be hungry or to go without something that you want or need. I'd always told myself I would never sit back and let my parents pay my way for me in life, and yet that was exactly what I'd been doing.

I think in a lot of ways, after everything that happened with....him, I'd really lost my way. No one else can really understand how it is for me, because at the time that I was with him, he kept me isolated and I didn't have any friends. Now I have great friends, but they don't get it because they were never actually around at the time that everything was happening. He'd done a lot to ruin me, and yet the reason I don't like to think of him is because, as sick as it makes me feel to admit it, I always had the thought in the back of my mind that if he were to ever come back, I'm not sure I'd be able to turn away. He'd been my first love and I, as stupid as it sounds, had been convinced that he and I were going to be the kids that defeat the odds and get married. I had a whole life I planned with him, and having it all vanish pretty much overnight had been a rough adjustment.

I shook my head at myself as I finished stocking the last shelf with the newest shipment of books, pushing down the urge to use my store credit to already start buying a few of them, and I blocked thoughts of him and that rough summer out of my mind.

I'm not that girl anymore.

I won't let a boy ever have control over me and my heart the way I'd done before. I was bettering myself. Finally setting out to do the things I'd always had planned for myself. Granted, a few of those things were from Hunter's influence, but it was my own will to actually go out and make those things happen.

Maybe we actually could be friends.

That is, if we can pull off tomorrow night that we've never hung out before.

A new audible groan escaped my lips when I remembered the other guy in this equation. I'd somehow only let myself worry over Jess and Hunter, I hadn't even thought about Aaron. All I remember about him was that he was good looking, but kind of an ass. Hopefully Hunter had a talk with him and he'll know not to mention anything about my being at Hunter's house that night.

***

I spent most of the next day cleaning my apartment like a mad woman.

"You're turning into your mom." Macy laughed when she walked in to find me on the kitchen floor scrubbing a scuff off of the tiles.

I shot her the bird and tilted my head. "You take that back."

Macy shook her head and then shrieked when I threw my dirty rag at her face and she ran to the other side of the kitchen island to duck and cover. "You do know you're only nineteen, right?" She giggled.

"You do know you could grab a sponge and start helping me instead of teasing me, right?" I laughed back, knowing that the real joke here was Macy actually cleaning something. I'm the one who does her laundry after all.

She stood up slowly, making sure I didn't have anything else to throw at her, then she propped her elbows on the island and leaned into her hands. "So, would this cleaning frenzy, and I mean this greatly appreciated cleaning frenzy have anything to do with this double date I heard about tonight?" She asked, her dark eyebrows already set high on her forehead.

I sat back on my butt in the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. "Maybe a little." I sighed.

"I heard it was your idea." She smirked.

I covered my face with my hands that still smelled of bleach after I'd cleaned out the showers. "It was not my idea." I groaned. "Jess's friend suggested it, and I agreed."

Macy nodded, her lips pursed, then she came out from around the island and sat in the floor in front of me. "I still haven't met him, what's he like?"

I shrugged, praying to God that my face wouldn't go red. "He's pretty cool." I told her. "He's funny, really nice, seems to treat her well, and Jess of course is obsessed with him."

"Of course she is." Macy laughed.

I reached out to put my hand on her knee. "What are you and Sarah doing tonight?"

Macy narrowed her eyes and then shrugged slowly. "Don't know, haven't talked to her today."

"Why don't you guys come tonight too?" I asked pleadingly. "You know I don't like to go downtown, and I'd be a lot less nervous if all of us were going to be there. Plus, you said yourself you haven't met Hunter yet, so it would be a perfect time. He said all of his friends are going out too."

Macy squished up her slender nose and looked around the room, something she always does when she'd considering something. She may be one of the only other people who is as much in her own head as I am in mine. However, she's weighing pros and cons and options in her head all the time. The engineering student in her always thinking, whereas the inside of my head is more like a thousand chickens with their heads cut off all running in different directions trying to find the next cliff to jump off of.

"I'll make you a deal." She said finally, waiting for me to look her in her pale green eyes. "If you want me to come with you tonight, I get to play makeover with you because you are not wearing those jeans and a t-shirt out tonight. If we're going out, we are going out!" She smiled wickedly.

I knew I would probably live to regret this, but I agreed anyway.

She yanked me up from the floor and pushed me towards the bathroom, shutting the door in my face as she yelled that I had twenty minutes to get showered. When I re-emerged, Jessica had arrived too and she was carrying a medium sized duffle bag just to have all of her makeup, hair care, and outfit options.

Macy and Jessica were impossible not to have fun with, even while they were unapologetically plucking my eyebrows. We put the radio on 2000's rap and we danced around in Macy bedroom while we took turns at the vanity to do our makeup, or in the bathroom to do our hair.

I tried my best not to let my nerves show, and I even let Jessica talk me into taking a half a shot of vodka just to take the edge off. Feeling good, I let them do whatever they wanted to me, avoiding looking into the mirror just in case. Macy styled my short hair the way the hairstylist who cut it actually intended I wear it, while Jessica worked her makeup magic.

"Shit!" Jessica yelled from across the room.

"What?" I asked, my voice already tremoring with nerves again.

Jessica hopped up and down in her dark blue halter dress that didn't leave much to the imagination while she stared at her phone screen. "They're almost here!"

"Crap!" Macy shook her head looking over at me. "What is she going to wear?"

Jessica smiled brightly, showing both rows of pearly white teeth and skipped over to her bag and pulled out a black and white striped dress that I remember her wearing from a couple of NYE's ago. "I can't wear that." I said stunned when I realized she was serious.

"Sure you can, and you're going to rock it." She giggled. "Aaron won't be able to stop staring at you."

"Yeah, I'm thinking most men won't." Macy giggled. "You remember the deal, don't you?" She asked me and I tossed my head back.

"Fine." I snapped, still not believing I was about to wear this.

Jess tossed a black bra at me to wear with it while Macy shoved me into the bathroom where my black wedges were already waiting.

I looked into the mirror and was pretty impressed with their work. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt like maybe I do belong with them. My swamp green eyes actually looked striking for once, and the lip liner and lipstick magic that Jess had been able to pull off actually made me look like I had pouty thick lips instead of my usually kind of thin ones.

I turned away from the mirror as I shoved, and I mean literally shoved, my body into the dress. It was a tank top cut, the front scooping a little low over my slightly more built cleavage thanks to the VS bra Jess was letting me borrow. The dress went over me like a second skin, holding my curves in its grip. I usually have a rule of either you should show cleavage or you should show legs, but never both, but this dress was definitely breaking that rule. It came over my butt and then there was hardly another inch and a half of fabric below.

"Thank god I've been doing my squats." I joked through the door and Macy pushed the door open and immediately started hooting and hollering at me.

"Check my girl out!" She yelled and Jessica came running back into the bedroom, her jaw dropping when she saw me.

"Holy hell, Tay!" She cooed. "You should just wear that all the time."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag, feeling the heat in my face from their praises.

"Let's get this over with." I said over my shoulder and they both laughed.

"That's the spirit!" Jessica giggled, her two shots already making her laugh high and loud.

"Damn, look at that ass." Macy joked behind me and I stopped, pushing against the wall to let them pass me.

There was a knock on the front door and my heart leapt up into my throat. "I forgot my ID." I lied, using the excuse to go back into my room while Jess and Macy went to the door.

I closed my door and leaned back against it.

"I can do this." I whispered to myself.

I took four, or ten, deep breaths, then I turned back around and opened the door.

Of course, Hunter and Aaron were standing right at the other end of the hall and they both stared at me as I came out of my room. Aaron widened his eyes, and his handsome smile stretched across his face before he brought his hand to cover it. He and Hunter were both dressed in nice dark jeans and polo button downs. Hunter was leaned down hugging Jessica, her back to me, but he continued to stare at me blankly as I walked down the hallway until I was in front of Aaron.

"Hey." I breathed to Aaron and he finally dropped his hand from his mouth and leaned in to kiss my cheek, surprising me a little.

"Nice to see you again." He added a little emphasis just for me.

"Yep." I muttered, pursing my lips.

"Come on, babe, you get to ride in the front with me." He said, taking my hand and pulling me out the front door.

When we got to the stairs he let go of my hand and replaced his on the small of my back, practically right on top of my butt. As if that wasn't bad enough, and I didn't like the fact that everyone was walking behind me again, Macy only made the matters worse when she started to chant "Squats! Squats! Squats!" From behind us.

Jessica was giggling uncontrollably and Macy finally stopped when we reached the bottom on the stairs. "Don't make me hurt you." I muttered at her and everyone laughed, including Hunter.

Aaron surprised me again by actually walking me to my side of the big Ford Explorer and opening my door for me.

I sat in the passenger seat and waited for the others to pile into the back.

Macy sat directly behind me, Jessica in the middle seat, and Hunter on the opposite side. I could see him out of the corner of my eye and it sure looked like he was staring a whole into the side of my face.

I turned to look at him, giving him a smile. "Hey, good to see you again also." I said cheerily.

He looked surprised, but he gave me back an even better smile, putting his hand on my bare arm. "You too, Kit."

"Kit?" Macy asked and although I couldn't see her, I could hear that look of confusion on her face.

I turned around in my seat to look at her and I rolled my eyes. "That's what he calls me since apparently remembering my name is too hard for him." I shot him another look.

"Kit as in KitKats?" Macy asked, turning to look at Hunter.

He chuckled, warm and deep and Jessica smiled up at him, looking at him like he was the only man on earth. "Yeah, the day she and Jess came over I kept trying to get them to eat and she said she wasn't hungry because she'd had a bag of KitKats before she came over."

"Of course she did." Macy said to him and then turned to me. "Not the ones from Halloween, right?"

I shook my head and faced the front of the car again as we pulled out of the lot and sped towards the highway. "Why does everyone ask me that?" I laughed.

"Clearly you have an obsession." Hunter replied, a smile in his voice.

He and Jessica began murmuring back and forth in the backseat and I could see the light from Macy's phone while she was probably texting Sarah to make sure she'd be meeting us at the club. Aaron turned on the radio, putting on a country station and I sang along quietly under my breath to steady myself until Aaron's big hand landed on my leg.

I was mortified by how high on my leg he was resting his hand, but I didn't want to make a show of pushing it off. One reason being that I didn't want to risk ticking him off and him deciding to spill the truth about how we met, but the other reason was because it seemed to be really bothering Hunter. I kept feeling that he was watching and I heard Jessica have to repeat herself to him multiple times on our way.

The second the car was parked in the parking deck, I quickly hopped out of the car, thankful for some space and air. I went ahead and walked to the back of the car, waiting for everyone else to get out while I tried to pull the dress down as low as I could get it, which wasn't far.

"Quit fidgeting, you look amazing." A quick whisper was in my ear, making a chill run up my spine and then Jess hopped out of the car too, looping her arm through mine and we walked together out in front of the boys.

The security guard at the door marked big black X's onto my hand, followed by Jess and Macy to show that we were all under twenty one, but then the first thing we did was rush to the huge bathroom, worm our way up to the sinks, and using the small bottle of rubbing alcohol in Jess's bag we washed them away then headed back out to the bar to meet back up with the boys.

I'd never been to this club before, and it was on the newer side so it was packed with partyers. It was a pretty big place in general. It was in the middle of downtown, a renovated old warehouse that had red brick walls, two stories, two dance floors and four bars. The whole bottom floor was an enormous dancefloor with two bars that spread out on either side of it. The lights were all off, only the strobes of the black lights and lasers illuminating the room, while up stair was balconies that looked down over us down here and you could see there was more of a lounge area set up upstairs and a more intimate dancefloor and the other two bars that were less crowded.

"You girls want something to drink?" Hunter shouted over the blaring country music and the cheering of others around us. We all nodded and he smiled before disappearing up the stairs to go to the less crowded bar.

As soon as he was gone, Aaron appeared from wherever he'd run off to when we got here which apparently was a bar since he had two drinks in his hand and he pushed one of them into mine.

"Bottoms up." He clacked his glass against mine and I saw the looks that Jess and Macy were giving me, encouraging me to do it, so without thinking too hard, I tossed the drink back, nearly gaging from how strong it was and shuffling my feet as the hot fire seemed to burn down my throat and warm up my limbs. "Dance with me." Aaron whispered in my ear, already lacing a hand behind my back and pulling me away just as Hunter was coming down from the top bar with his hands full of drinks and three more guys following behind him that I assumed must be his other buddies. I was hard to tell in the dark but it looked like one of them was his roommate, Josh.

I tore my eyes away and went back to looking at Aaron as he stopped us in the middle of the dancefloor, just barely visible to the rest of our group and we started to dance.

Dancing isn't usually my thing, and I don't think I've ever been out dancing with a guy before, but it was almost as much fun as dancing with my girls. It didn't hurt that that drink had been strong as hell and I was feeling pretty confident all dressed up, so I let Aaron spin me around and hold me close through the songs.

Eventually I was getting worn out and was about it call it quits when the first slow song of the night came on and Aaron pulled me into his chest. I was so tired and my head so light that I leaned into him, letting him lead while I rested my head. I felt a pinch on my left arm and I turned to see Hunter and Jessica passing us, Jessica winking at me as she and Hunter started to dance near us too. She turned her head and rested it happily against Hunter's wide chest, but Hunter looked over right at me, before leaning down to kiss her on the top of the head.

I looked away, resting my head on the other side and when the song ended, I spilt from Aaron and told him I needed to go find a bathroom. Instead, I rushed over to one of the bars and ordered myself a shot before I headed up the stairs and to search for the bathroom.

It was more crowded now that it was getting later and that second shot was going straight to my head, making me stumble a little as I pushed through throngs of people over to where I could see a small hallway and a sign saying 'Ladies Room'. I brushed passed people without even looking at them and I finally made it into the small dark hallway, surprised to find it empty of the drunk girls in line I expected to find.

"Tayler?" I heard a guy's voice shout over the noise and my stomach flipped within me, years of hearing that voice in my head snapping back to me.

No. No. No. No.

"Tayler!" He yelled again, his voice closer as I picked up my pace and tried to run for the bathroom door but I tripped and bumped into the wall. "Tayler, come here!"

He shouldn't be here. He moved to Austin.

I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me back and pushing my back into the wall, his hands moving up to my shoulders. Finally, I had to look up.

I had to look into the eyes of the boy who shattered my heart.

"Seth."