Clarissa left after that, leaving me feeling like a caged animal. She had no idea what she had done to me, and I wasn't so sure if she'd care. She left a restless animal with the urge to do something that was primitive or whatever.

She left me afraid, anxious, waiting for someone else to show me kindness or do something to take away the kindness that I was shown.

I was a mess.

I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning with each thought that appeared in my head. I couldn't relax nor stop my mind from doing whatever it wanted to do, to think whatever it wanted to think, and it left me feeling restless and caged.

"Fuck it," I said finally and tossed the blankets off my sweating body. I got up and walked to my door, the urge to smoke strong. I had no idea why I wanted another cigarette, but I prayed that this wouldn't be a nightly occurrence because I knew how addictive they could be.

I knew the risks that I took when I grabbed the sweet addicting nicotine. I knew that one could go to two instantly and then two to four, but I didn't care. I didn't care because at that moment; I needed it. I needed to fill my lungs with that harmful smoke that could harm them if I did more in a day than I normally did and what not.

However, at that moment, I didn't care. All I cared about was getting my hands on a cigarette and smoking it.

So, I padded to the place where I hid my cigarettes, not even caring to turn on the lights. I knew this way like the back of my hand, even though it was mainly for other things besides my sweet escape.

I pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen and stopped when I saw that the light was on. I blinked and blinked again and rubbed my eyes, not used to the light being on. "Mother fucker," I said. "Who is up at this time of the night and why?"

"That would be me, Sweetcheeks," Drew said from the table. There was a clatter, and I had a feeling that he was eating something. "And I could be asking you the same thing; why are you up at this time of night?"

I opened my eyes and looked at Drew. I bit back a scowl, not in the mood to deal with him either, and sighed. "Because I need a cig," I said coldly. I walked to where I kept my cigarettes and took one out of the container.

"Why?" Drew asked and stood. He walked over to me, and concern filled his eyes. "What happened?"

I rolled my eyes and scowled. "Does it really matter?" I asked coldly. I closed the fridge and walked past him to go outside. "Last time I checked, it didn't."

Drew sighed and followed me outside. He didn't stop me from lighting up the cigarette or from putting it into my mouth. "What happened?" he asked again. "Is it your dad? Did he send a new text message?"

I snorted and shook my head. "I wish that he had," I muttered after I took the cigarette out of my mouth. "I'd know what to do if he sent me something."

"Then what happened?" Drew asked and furrowed his brows. He looked at me, and I made sure not to be facing him.

"My sister happened," I grunted. I took another drag from my cigarette and blew it out. "What else do you think happened?"

"I thought you didn't care that she is living here now," Drew said. He paused and studied me. "Or do you?"

"I don't," I said and shrugged. "I just don't want her in my business."

"Which type of business?" Drew asked. "Because I don't think you are talking about you being Carpien."

"I am not." I moved a hand through my hair and shook my head. "I am talking about my personal life."

"The one where you are closed off on?" he asked, and I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "No, I'm serious, Chris, so don't give me that." He turned around until he was leaning against the railing and to see my face. "You are so closed off from the rest of the world that I'm surprised they still work here. Hell, I am surprised that you have friends."

"What? Are you saying that I shouldn't have friends?" I asked and turned toward him. I set my jaw, ignoring the sting of hurt. "Is that it?"

Drew sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I am saying that I am surprised that they have stayed around for as long as they did. They care about you, Chris, and don't care that you don't tell them about your feelings or whatnot. They just..." He shook his head and grimaced. "... know. They know exactly what you are feeling even if you don't say anything."

I shrugged and took another drag from my cigarette. "My feelings aren't something that I want to talk about," I grumbled.

"You're human; it's ok for you to have them, ya know." He sighed and moved a hand through his hair, grimacing. "I hate admitting this, but I am learning that, too."

"That you're human?" I asked and gave him a weird look while he stared at me with a blank look on his face. "What did you think you were?"

"Hardee har har," he said, and I shrugged. "You know what I mean, Chris. Don't say that you don't because I know you do."

I sighed and moved a hand across my face. "I know," I said and took another drag of my cigarette. "It doesn't mean that I don't like it."

"It doesn't matter if you like it or not," Drew said. "It's the truth, and you can't run from it." He studied me and moved closer, and I let him, not knowing what he was doing. "You can't hide from it either." His voice became barely above a whisper, and his eyes searched mine.

I stopped breathing; I knew that I did. My heart pounded hard in my chest while I watched him draw closer and closer to me. I put out the cigarette, not knowing what he would do, but I knew that I didn't want to hurt him.

"You can't hide from the truth, and I can't push it away any longer." He moved a hand through my hair, gauging my reaction, and my heart leaped into my throat.

When I didn't pull away from him or push him away from me, he leaned closer and closer until his lips were pressed up against mine in a soft yet powerful kiss.