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03• why am i here?

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I couldn't gather my thoughts properly. At some point, I was vaguely aware that Katherine was calling my name, but her voice seemed to be drowned out by the ringing of my ears. She sounded far away, yet she was there. All I could vividly hear was the heavy thumping of my heart and my shallow breathing. The ringing sound intensified. I felt my chest constricting. Time seemed to go fast and slow alternatively. One moment I was completely alone in the room, sitting still on my bed and lost in a sense of being dazed. The next, figures were surrounding me, urging me to lie down and some strange beeping sound.

'She's in shock.'  

'Check her pulse, please.'

'Paddings. I need soft paddings right now.'

I wanted to resist whoever was touching my wrist and holding my head, but for some strange reason, I couldn't find the strength to move. My head was swimming and everything around me was blurred in my vision.

I couldn't comprehend why my name was plastered in credit cards that I had never owned in my life with some platinum blonde haired lady as the profile picture. Neither could my mind decipher why I had a phone that I'd never seen, but it somehow had a goofy picture of my siblings as the screen saver.

All I could think of was that I was in some sort freak science experiment and someone had stolen my identity. Or some identity exchange was done. It was the only logical thing I could come up with. Or perhaps I was dreaming. But that couldn't be possible because the needle in my wrist felt too real. I wasn't some dumbass to come up with this conclusion because the many Sci-Fi movies and dystopian books I read had taught me well. I felt some sort of dread mixed with fear creep up my spine.

What really happened? The doctor said I'd been in an accident ten days ago. What sort of accident? I needed closure. I needed my parents and siblings and Clark. I needed them to explain everything in truth.

The thought of the closest people in my life calmed my nerves a bit and I felt my heart slow down. Knowing they were still out there gave me a kind of comfort.

'She's okay.'

I don't know how long I'd stayed still while stuck in my thoughts, but the blurry movement around me lessened and the figures seemed to disappear at some point.

My eyes closed time and again. I tried resisting the sleep but couldn't do so. Whenever I opened my eyes, the hue of the light seemed to change each time I directed my gaze towards the blinds, then gradually getting dimmer and dimmer. I don't know how many times I woke up or slept since I kept going in out of sleep.

A vibrating sound had me startled. My eyes shot open and I tried searching for the source of the sound. A strange song followed the vibration.

I had a dream

We were sipping whiskey neat

Highest floor, the Bowery.

And I was high enough.

I frowned, looking to my left side. I saw the flowers and the maroon Chanel handbag rested comfortably on the side table. I felt my heart sink as I realized the sound was coming from the handbag. My hand reached out to it, and even though I was trembling so bad, I managed to open the bag quickly and fumble through it. My hand caressed the sleek Samsung phone. I glanced at the caller ID.

Cliff.

I answered without hesitation. "C-Cliff!" My voice was laced with a hint of panic and excitement.

'Red? Oh my god. Thank heavens you're awake.' I heard him let out a sigh of relief. 'The doctor just told me what happened. Are you OK?'

"No!" I half yelled. "Cliff, I think they did something to me. Like, I have this weird phone which I know isn't mine but it has your picture and contact for some strange reason and this super expensive bag that I cannot even dream of owning and these cards--"

'Whoa whoa, calm down," he interrupted. 'Take a deep breath and tell me what happened. Slowly.'

My eyes darted towards the door of the room. It was closed. I glanced at the blinds. They were shut too. I directed the phone away from my ear, gazing at the time at the top corner.

9:03 p.m.

Returning the phone to my ear, I continued, "Cliff, you need to come and get me out of here. Why am I even here?"

I heard him sigh. 'Red, chillax. It's nighttime and visiting hours aren't until morning. Don't worry, I'll come with Dawn tomorrow morning to see you, OK? I promise.'

"No, Cliff, you don't understand. I'm--"

'Goodnight. Sleep tight, Red.' A beep sound sounded on the other end.

"No!" I found myself yelling, gazing frantically at the screen that had just gone blank. Why had he hung up? I needed to call him. I needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

I pressed the power button and the screen lit up. The goofy picture of Cliff and Dawn came up again. I slid my finger across the screen.

Enter PIN to unlock.

"Pin?!" I cried out. "No no no no no. Not now." I typed in random numbers, only to hit dead ends each time.

This wasn't even my phone in the first place! How could it be when I didn't even recall the PIN? Sure, Cliff called me and it went through and I picked up and I heard his voice, but it was all confusing? How?

How the fuck?

How.

The.

Fuck?

After my fruitless attempts, I almost threw the phone. I wiped at a stray tear dangling beneath my eye. I had to get out of here. The more I'd stay here, the more I'd probably discover things that wouldn't sit well with me. I didn't even know what hospital I was in. Was this even a hospital?

Forcing myself to sit upright, I threw the sheets away from my body. I was in a flimsy dress robe but I didn't care. I only felt a sudden cold once the sheets were away from my body. Although my legs were a bit painful, I managed to throw them over to the bedside. Pain shot through various parts of my body. Back, head, arms.

My feet touched the cold marble floor. I took a deep breath. "You can do this, Red."

Before making a resolve to stand up, my eyes landed on the flowers, distracting me for a moment. Clark was so sweet. Which reminded me that I needed to call him. I searched through the vibrant purple flowers for a card.

Once I found it, I opened it and it read:

Baby girl,

Get well soon. I love you to the moon. Ha, see that? I rhymed. I'll come to see you soon, boo.

-Jac.

"Jack?" I questioned. "Who the hell is Jack?"

I returned the card and focused on getting out of this place. I stood up with a lot of difficulty, using the side table as support. Waves of pain traveled from my toes up to my spine.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" With a lot of effort, I took one step at a time. But in the process, something painful and piercing yanked at my wrist. I looked at what it was.

A canular was bandaged around my wrist that was connected to the IV fluid.

"Damn it!" I cussed under my breath. I couldn't risk removing it and having a bloody mess all over me. So I decided to carry the bag of IV fluid with me. My movements were wobbly as I unhooked the bag but I finally managed.

"OK," I stared at the door for motivation, not caring about my cold bare feet that were stepping on an even colder marble floor.

I only hoped that the door wasn't locked or anything, because if it were, it would only heighten my suspicions as to whether this was a hospital or not.

My palms closed around the knob. Unlocked. Thank God.

I turned it slowly and it creaked open.

Only to see Katherine standing there about to enter.

Well. Fuck.

With my awkward standing position in a flimsy hospital robe, I managed a small smile. "Uhh . . . Hi there."

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