heyy! missed updating. if you likey, vomment.

•••  

"She has arrived, ahmar."

"GAH!" I almost dropped the glass of orange juice I was holding and turned sharply around. Seeing who it was, my racing heart calmed down.

"Sheesh, Zaman, you scared me," I told the man who was standing at my bedroom door.

"I apologize," the middle aged man with tanned skin said. "Should I tell her to come up here?"

I nodded and watched him go away. I had still not gotten used to the fact that we had a butler. An Arab butler for that matter. He, Zaman Hakim, looked like one of those gulf dudes who were so famous in their 20's and 30's, but then their fame faded as they grew older.

And he kept calling me ahmar whenever he addressed me. Deciding to finally Google what it meant, I whipped out my phone and typed the word.

"Red," I said once the results were loaded. Ahmar meant red in Arabic. That kind of discovery made me figure that I might have been close to Zaman than I imagined.

With all these changes I was suddenly experiencing, I tried to act as though I was cool with it like I had seen it before to avoid asking too many irrelevant questions. For instance, once I had accidentally bumped into Zaman a few days ago, I almost yelled out loud before he explained who he was and that he understood my situation and that I should not panic. Knowing better, I held my tongue and went on my way, acting indifferent on the outside but freaking out on the inside.

My staged indifference also meant that I could not question Dawn's behavioral change. She was different from how I remembered her. She was always avoiding me, and not as clingy as before. She was always cooped up in her room, and not as outgoing. And always chewing obnoxiously and rolling her damn eyes at the slightest thing.

Cliff too had changed. He was always at work and came back at five. He kept on writing god-knows-what on his navy blue notebook. He didn't talk much like before, or come to annoy me or make snarky comments.

I felt like a stranger here. Like I was peeking into a family that was not mine. I felt disconnected from my siblings and the two maids who came to cook and clean, and the butler. I had yet to see my dad. Deep down, I hoped he was still the same, but I highly doubted it.

"I'll get used to it soon," I said to myself as I walked away from the window and towards my closet. It had been four days now since I had finally acknowledged that this walk-in closet did not have my previous clothes. My skinny jeans, converses, and statement t-shirts were all gone. Instead, it was filled with dresses and short skirts and chiffon blouses-as though I was some working class lady. Looking at the tags, the clothes had names of designers I had never dreamed of wearing. I had not even heard of most of them.

This sucked. I looked down at the pajama short I was wearing. I liked it cause it was simple, even though it was Marc Jacobs. It still could not beat my craving for my baggy cow and chicken pajamas that had been bought from a thrift store. I missed my clothes.

"Hey, Dee!" Valerie's nasal voice startled me from my thoughts.

I turned to face her at the door. She was carrying a bag and I became curious.

"Hey, Valerie. Come in."

She cat walked towards the bed and sat down with a big smile. "So, I know you remember next to nothing but since I'm your friend, I'll remind you that it's Sunday!"

She sounded excited.

"Uh-huh," I said, eyeing her skeptically. "And?"

"We always choose outfits for the rest of the week."

I blinked at her. "Oh."

I looked back at the closet then turned to Valerie once more. "Do you by any chance know what happened to my skinny jeans and converse shoes?"

Valerie gave me a weird look. "You've never worn skinny jeans or converse shoes."

My stomach dropped. Act cool. Act cool.

I managed a shrug. "Meh, never mind. So . . . what am I supposed to be doing again?"

Valerie stood and walked into my closet. "Let's start with tomorrow's outfit."

I saw her disappear into a corner and become swallowed with the clothes that were on hangers.

A part of me was nervous as I was heading back to school tomorrow. So many things could terrify me. So many different people who knew me and I didn't know them could scare me. It would be even more strange than how it currently was in this mansion. I fidgeted at the thought. In all honesty, I only thought about Clark. Was he still there? Had he transferred? Did he still exist?

My heart constricted at the last thought. I would get the answers tomorrow.

Valerie came out with the outfit and shoes in her right hand. "Okay, I was thinking we should try to make tomorrow look as though we didn't want to go to school because we partied too much and we're still hangover but we managed to still kill it even if we look terrible." She smiled. "You know, cause it's Monday."

"That's like . . . a fashion trend? Whatever you just said?"

"It's just a statement Dee," she threw me the outfit. "Try this on."

I looked at what she gave me. It was something velvet and burgundy in color. I did not know what it was, but I was sure that the black clothing she gave me was a tight fitting off-shoulder blouse.

"What's this?" I turned the burgundy clothing over to examine it.

"It's a skirt, duh."

I held it up and concluded that it was too tight and too short and too revealing for life. "I can't wear this."

Valerie placed a palm on her forehead, rolling her eyes in the process. "Why not?"

"Because I don't wear these kinds of clothes. They're too revealing." I threw them on the bed.

"You always do, what are you saying?" she eyed me as though I had grown two heads. "Just put it on and look at yourself in the mirror. I'm sure you'll get the feel once you're in them."

My eyes dropped to her hand which held shoes. "Are those six-inch heels?"

She brought them up for display. "Yep. Your favorite Louboutins in fact."

"Valerie, I don't wear heels."

"You do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"Yes!" she yelled. "Stop being weird and making me feel as though I've lost my best friends."

Valerie shoved the nude heels into my hands. "Now wear them!"

"I can't wear heels!" I finally yelled back. "I can't walk in them, Valerie. I have never worn them in my entire life!"

She eyed me and massaged her temple. "You have. You just don't remember."

"I-" I stopped short, recalling my neurologist's words.

'Sometimes you might feel as though you don't know how to do something, but in real sense, you're good at it.'

"Dee, listen," Valerie began. "It's easy. You'll get the hang of it in no time. Just give it a try."

If I was going to act cool, I had to at least do something that was expected of me. I let out a sigh. "Fine."

Once I tried them on, I wobbled a bit and started thinking of how unsteady I would be while walking in them. I had already imagined how my feet would hurt while in them. They didn't.

They actually felt like a cushion and very comfortable.

"Woah," I whispered.

Valerie gave me an expectant look. "So, how does it feel?"

"I actually feel . . . normal in them."

"OK," she took a few steps back. "Try walking in them now. No rush."

I took a deep breath and took the first step.

And tripped.

It was just a bit before I caught myself.

"C'mon Dee, you can do this. Don't think too much about it." Valerie encouraged.

Act cool. I can do this.

I took the next step and managed to do five steps successively before I stopped and got too excited to go on.

"Oh my god! Did you see that?"

"Mh-hm," she nodded. "Told you you can do it. Go on."

It was hard to think that I'd walked five steps in six-inch heels. Not thinking about walking in them actually helped. It felt as though I hadn't exercised in a long time and my feet were familiarising with what they were accustomed to long ago.

I continued walking, imagining that I was in converse shoes, only higher. And it turned out natural. As though I'd been running in heels for years. I felt no strain while walking in them.

"Oh my god! Valerie, are you seeing this?" I asked excitedly as I walked around the room. "I'm nailing it!"

"You're killing it, Dee. Like you always do."

"This feels amazing!" I did a sharp turn around like how the models on runways do. I lost my balance a bit before gaining equilibrium.

"See? You're a pro, Dee. Don't doubt yourself."

I nodded, feeling accomplished.

Valerie took the clothes and handed them to me. "Now, how about we see the way these will look on you tomorrow, yes?"

I took them, not feeling as skeptical as before. "Yeah, sure."

•••

show some love😘

-Marj.