beep...

beep...

beep...

my eyes flutter

as some sort of machine?

pierces my ears

it's the only clear sound

I hear murmurs

people talking

what are they saying?

everything is blurry

I see shapes

outlines of people

doctors?

nurses?

where am I?

what happened?

I try to sit up

but my body won't listen

why can't I move?

I blink slowly

light clouds my vision

nothing will focus.....

ever so slowly,

everything starts to focus

the white ceiling

the tube in my arm

the tube down my throat

people in white coats

their words

the bright lights

I can't feel anything

the white coats

start running around

"she's awake"

I can't speak

because of the tube down my throat

what happened to me?

the last thing I remember..

water

salt water

waves crashing

and a bright light

the only thing I can feel

is the tear sliding down my cheek

i'm not dead

thank God

* * *

my parents rush in to the room

sit by the bed in the chairs

hold my hand

they are crying

but I watch Delilah

she is in the corner of the room

tears in her eyes

hand over her mouth

she does not talk to me

she does not hold my hand

she just stares

unbelieving at me

I want her to come closer

I want to hug her

I also want to hit her

I want to tell her I lover her

then scream at her

they took the tube out of my throat

before they let my family in

so there is only breathing tubes

in my nose..

I can speak if I try hard enough

but my throat hurts too much

and I don't have much to say to my parents

"can I talk to Daiha alone?"

Delilah asks

my parents protest

but give in reluctantly

because the nurse said it's better for me

to see one person at a time..

"nobody wants to be the one to say it"

she begins

and I wrinkle my brow

but stay silent,

waiting

she takes a deep breath

closing her eyes

"you- you've been in a coma

for months, Daiha..

months..

it's summer now

you missed graduation.

it was last week"

my heart

stops

I-

I've been unconscious

for months?

I begin breathing heavier

and my heart starts to beat again

only much faster than it should

and I hate that the machine

beeps faster too,

shouting to the world

that I'm panicking

"Daiha-

I'm so so sorry...

It's all my fault

that you were in a coma

that you almost died.

I did this to you

I-

I'm so

so

so

sorry"

then

she began to sob

a silent sob

with only the sound

of her gasps

and the beeping of the machine

filling the room

my heart starts beating faster again

and I want to do something

to console her

but a part of me wants her to keep crying

to let her think it's all her fault...

no-

no-

that would be wrong

to do that to her

it wasn't her fault

not at all

but I can't seem to force the words out

I can't speak at all

my throat hurts too much

and I still can't process

that I've been in a coma

for months...

my head hurt

more and more

and my heart beat faster

and faster

and

faster

and everything is spinning

Delilah starts screaming for a nurse

that something is wrong

but she sounds far away

and the beeping is getting louder

beep

Beep

BEep

BEEp

BEEP

BEEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP

the nurse plunged a syringe

into the drip

BEEEEP

BEEP

BEEEEP

everything is fuzzy

so

fuzzy

BEEp

BEep

Beep

beep

beep....