Lilith hadn't gotten any sleep, the rest of the night.

After Eric had been taken to the holding room to await for his interrogation in the morning, she'd looked around the Merciless Mart for the rest of her friends. Most seemed to be okay, even if shaken up by the attack, but, like the Dauntless they were, they wore masks of courage, even if their hands shook when they reached for the glasses of water she was offering them. Marlene's coping method appeared to be cracking jokes, but no one seemed to be able to respond with more than a weak smile, and she'd given up after a few hours.

Tris was weirdly numb about the whole ordeal, and Lilith hadn't wanted to pry as they worked together to remove the needles that the Dauntless-Erudites had fired from the guns like the one the brunette still carried in her holster. Both girls agreed that it was likely another attempt to set up a second simulation, this one with an unknown purpose. Jeanine had an army already, one that didn't need to be mind controlled, so it didn't make sense that her goal was to get more people fighting on her side. Unless she wanted control over everyone in the city, that was. 

The news that Rhiannon had been captured during the fight only got to her ears when the first rays of sunlight illuminated the lobby of the Merciless Mart, and she hadn't managed to hold back a smile. They had not one, but two Dauntless leaders with ties to Jeanine, and it was only a matter of waiting until the interrogations to figure out what the hell was going on. Between Rhiannon and Eric, they should have enough information to piece together what Jeanine's current plan was, and stop it while they still had the time.

That was what Lilith thought, until a Candor woman rushed into the lobby yelling that Rhiannon had ended her own life with a blade that had failed to be confiscated. 

So, Eric was the only person they could extract information from.

The interrogation had been set up for eight in the morning, and though it was very early, it seemed like the entirety of Candor and the loyal Dauntless had made the effort to show up. Theories of what Eric would say floated in the air, and Lilith caught bits and pieces of each one as she found a seat at the very front of the crowd, between two other soldiers that she'd never spoken to before. Despite that fact, they seemed to know who she was, for they instantly changed their positions so that she'd have more space. 

The gesture made her uncomfortable.

It felt like an eternity had passed before Eric was finally brought into the room, his hands bound behind his back and his dark circles standing out from the pale skin even more. The soldiers escorting him gestured for him to take a seat on the chair in front of Niles, and only then did he find her in the crowd, his eyes softening just the slightest bit before his attention turned to the needle with the truth serum. Lilith's fingers drummed against her thighs as Niles injected the serum into Eric's veins, her gaze landing on Four as he pushed his way to the front of the crowd on the other side of the room. The thought of what she'd told him hours before was heavy on her mind, and though she was convinced she'd meant it, she wasn't sure she could kill Eric, guilty or not. Desperately, she hoped that that wouldn't be the outcome.

Niles clapped his hands, silence falling over the room instantly, before settling down on his chair. Lilith noticed that it wasn't the same one he'd sat on while interrogating her and the others, but wondering about it wasn't important. Niles cleared his throat, "As per usual, I'll start with simple questions, to get you accostumed to the effect of the serum," he paused, receiving a brief eyebrow raised from Eric as an answer, "What is your name?"

"Eric Coulter."

"Eric, what are the names of your parents?"

"My father's name was Arnold Coulter," he furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly struggling with the next few words. He couldn't hold them for long, "I don't know who my mother is."

Niles simply hummed, "And you're a faction transfer, correct? From Erudite to Dauntless?"

The leader's lips formed a sneer that Lilith knew well, "Obviously."

"And why did you choose that?"

"Because I was bored," he simply stated, shrugging his shoulders, "Dauntless was a place with enough action to satisfy me, and I knew enough about combat and weapons to be one of their best. It was an easy choice, probably the easiest one I've ever made."

"Alledgedly, the Dauntless leaders pledged their loyalty to Erudite," Niles' voice seemed harsher, and Lilith knew that the easy questions were over. From then on, Eric's answers would be used to prove his innocence, or to reveal, once and for all, that he was the monster everyone seemed to think he was. She was almost sure that the people next to her could hear the beat of her heart, as Niles continued, "With whom do your loyalties lie, Eric?"

The answer left Eric's mouth in less than a second, "With my friends. All of which are in this room."

"So, you joined forces with the Erudite against your will?"

He shook his head, "Not at the beginning. At first, it sounded... like the right thing to do," for the first time since he'd sat down, his blue eyes left Niles as they drifted to the floor. When he continued, his tone was lower, "Jeanine said that Dauntless would be rewarded, that we would be taken seriously, and that we'd have a voice in the government. She also said... she promised she'd tell me who my mother is," he paused, and the soft sound of whispers filled the room, "But that was before she revealed her intentions of mind controlling most of the faction to do her bidding, and keeping them as mindless servants to carry out her dirty work. That was never what I intended for my faction, much less my friends."

"You changed your mind?"

Eric nodded, "I did. But the other leaders valued power over keeping Dauntless what it was, and they would not hesitate to put a bullet in my head if I told them that I didn't want to go through with Jeanine's plan any further. So, I began attempting to create plans that would ruin what Jeanine wanted to achieve. Those plans only took form during the Initiation period, this year, when I met Lilith Ovard."

Goosebumps formed on her arms as Eric's eyes left the tiles at his feet to land on her, filled with sentiments that she wasn't used to seeing. The intensity of his gaze made her feel like she couldn't breathe, like there was a weight pressing down on her chest and stopping the oxygen from reaching her lungs, and then Candor and Dauntless alike started muttering between themselves, and their eyes were pinned to her like she'd done something. Her nails dug crescent shaped holes into her palms as she forced herself to stay in her seat, as Niles urged everyone to be quiet so that the interrogation could proceed. 

Lilith couldn't help but release a sigh of relief, when she was no longer the center of attention.

"What was your plan?"

Eric seemed almost proud, "I knew I had to eliminate the root of the problem, said root being Jeanine. Opportunities were scarce before the attack, and so I resorted to planning something that would take place during it. But there was no way I could pull it off by myself, and Lilith was the one person I trusted to help. I... haven't really met anyone who loves Dauntless as much as she does. There's very little she wouldn't do for her faction," once more, he turned to look at her, and the rest of the crowd followed his example. 

Lilith wanted to disappear. 

Thankfully, this time people didn't stare at her for as long, "I began sneaking samples of the serum Erudite was developing to control Dauntless, and I found a way to extract the neurotransmitters that connect the person to the simulation. After that, it was a matter of making sure that I would be the one injecting Lilith, which proved to be easy," he paused, "The plan worked, until I was shot by one of the soldiers."

"We've heard from people who have sat previously on that chair that you sided with Erudite after that. What happened?"

"They patched me up," Eric revealed, and Lilith noticed the way his leg started bouncing up and down. The serum was still in full effect, and that made him anxious. She was too: if he had lied to her, he wouldn't last another hour. She was almost sure that she wanted him to stay alive just as much as he wanted to keep breathing, if not more. After a few seconds of chewing on his lower lip, he shrugged, "Then they gave me a choice. Join their side again, or die. Once again, an easy choice to make. I fooled them into thinking I was with them, while I worked with others behind their backs, others who were pretending, just like me. I wanted to come clean when I crossed paths with Lilith and the others at Amity, but there was too much at stake. So, I waited.

"Rhiannon was the one leading last night's attack, and I wasn't supposed to come along, but it was a chance I couldn't pass up on. There were reports on how those we'd nearly caught at Amity had found refuge here, and I knew Lilith was one of them. It was time to desert Erudite and tell the truth to the one person I was sure would believe me," this time, his stare was slightly pained.

"What do you know about Jeanine's plans?"

Eric pursed his lips, "I... she doesn't share with us. She tells us what we need to know for the assignement we're doing, and that's it," he paused, before narrowing his eyes and looking around the room, "I do know that it's only a matter of time until she tries to destroy you as well, however. You're taking a stand against her by harboring fugitives, and she doesn't deem you essencial for the survival of the city. Make one move against her, she'll send the whole army."

Niles glanced towards Jack, who offered him a nod from where he was sitting, on the opposite side of the room where Lilith had sat down. From her experience with the other interrogations, usually a nod meant that enough information had been revealed, and that the charges had been cleared. Though it had shocked her that Eric didn't know anything about what Jeanine was planning, she had to admit that it had been smart of her not to tell him. If she had, her whole plan would have been compromised. 

She wondered if Rhiannon knew more, to go to lenght of killing herself before being interrogated.

"Shall your charges be dropped, do you swear you'll aid your faction against future attacks from Erudite?"

"Yes."

"One more thing, Eric Coulter," Niles leaned forwards in his seat, "What's your biggest regret?"

The leader's eyes widened, and he pondered the question for a few moments, before clenching his jaw, "Ever agreeing to side with Jeanine Matthews."

Silence fell over the room as the crowd processed his answer, before the motto spoken at the end of the interrogations was heard, albeit more unsure than when it had been Lilith herself on that chair. Eric hadn't lied, it was impossible for him to do so when under the effects of the truth serum, but he was very closely tied with everything that had taken place during the last couple of months. A confession wasn't enough to make people trust him, and the fact that he usually acted in such a despicable manner didn't do him any favors either.

As soldiers advanced forwards to release Eric from his restraints, Lilith's dark eyes moved to Four, who was already watching her. His upper lip curled in disgust, but there was nothing he could do: Eric had proven that he was mostly innocent, and he had promised he would help them as much as he could. Killing him was no longer an option, and she could only assume that Four was still stuck with old grudges and useless competition, probably as much as Eric. That wasn't something she could fix.

The crowd was slowly vacating the room, and Lilith exhaled through her nose as she rose from her chair, not sparing another glance at Eric as she moved to the door. The interrogation had barely finished and already she was hearing her name emerging in several conversations, eyes following her every move as she walked. Her heart thumped against her ribcage intensely, like it was getting ready to burst out and color the monochrome tiles on the floor bright red.

 It wasn't supposed to happen like this. 

Eric was supposed to get his second chance, but she wasn't supposed to be put on the spot from one instant to the next. 

She'd been scared that people finding out about Eric and her would make them think less of her, but hearing them say that she'd been the one to change him felt a thousand times worse.

Her heart rate only began returning to its normal pace when she could no longer hear anyone talking about her, or Eric, or anything else related to the current predicament at hand. It was impossible to escape conversations about Erudite and the attack most days and, while Lilith agreed that it was something that should be discussed, she'd been finding herself getting easily overwhelmed, since they'd left Amity. Often, she wished that the Dauntless leaders hadn't turned to corruption, and that she'd been allowed to have a normal life in the faction she had chosen. But that didn't seem to be in the cards for her.

"Lilith?" a voice called, from somewhere behind her.

She didn't have to turn around to know who it belonged to, but she still did, "Eric," she nodded once, as her lips formed a pathetic excuse of a smile, "Congrats on your innocence."

"Thank you?" he replied, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. He folded his arms over his chest, and Lilith noticed that he no longer donned the jacket with the blue fabric sewn on it. Instead, he'd been given a fully black one, and the sight of him in it reminded her of when they'd sat on the roof in Dauntless together, right after the final rankings had been released. It seemed like it had been a lifetime ago. Eric tilted his head slightly to the side, "Are you okay?"

"I'm..." the words seemed to get caught on her throat. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Anxious. Scared. All of those would make for honest answers, but then she'd have to elaborate, and there was just so much to say, that she didn't know if she would ever stop talking if she opened her mouth. Instead, she made her fake smile grow even more, "Fine. Here," she grabbed the knife she'd taken from him on the previous night and held it in his direction, "You can have this back. There was some blood on it, but... I cleaned it. It should be fine. I'm... going to go, now. Huh, congrats."

Lilith hoped that he would just let her go. 

He didn't.

"That's it?" his tone was louder than before, laced with hurt, "You're just going to walk away? You're not going to give me a chance to explain myself to you?"

"I already know what happened," she shrugged her shoulders, heaving out a sigh, "Is there more?"

"No. I just..." Eric stopped, clenching his jaw as he pondered over what to say next. His frustration was visible from the way he clenched his fists, "I was hoping for a chance to apologize. To see if we could get back what we had, now that you know what I did and didn't do. Now that you know that I didn't lie to you. Not as much as you thought I did, anyways."

Lilith took a deep breath, "I... I don't think that's a good idea, right now."

At the lack of a response, her eyes drifted to his face. She saw the way his features shifted as he attempted to understand what she was saying, and how his eyes instantly turned icy the second he realized what she meant. It hurt more than she'd expected, but the thought of throwing herself into something she knew she couldn't handle would end up hurting even more. 

In the middle of a war, the last thing she need was to be at war with herself. 

He narrowed his eyes at her, and she felt miniscule, "Why?"

The girl chewed on her lower lip for a few seconds, before gazing back at him, "Back there, you talked about me like I'm the best person in the world."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Expectations," she clenched her jaw. Eric's raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not understanding what she meant, and she elaborated, "The simple fact that you talked about me like that made people expect more of me. Are you aware of how many people were speaking about how I changed you, after the interrogation? How many people are now convinced that you switched sides because of me, because I'm so fucking amazing that I changed your mind?" her tone was getting higher and higher, and rage made her whole body heat up. She gritted her teeth, "If you do something that they don't think is right, they're gonna blame me. If I fuck up, they're gonna be disappointed, because the girl who changed a leader will not be allowed to be anything less than perfect. That's a lot of fucking pressure, Eric. I'm not in a place where I can handle that, so I think we should keep our distance, for now."

The silence between them was deafening. Lilith's heart was beating faster than it probably should, and she wasn't even sure of how much of what she was feeling had left her lips. Every word seemed to blend together, the one thing remaining clear in her head being that she'd told Eric that she didn't want anything to do with him, at least for a while.

She drummed her fingers against her forearm, keeping her eyes on the tips of her boots as she waited for Eric to respond. He hadn't moved an inch since she'd gone off on her speech about her feelings, and Lilith hoped that it made as much sense to him as it did to her. He had shown her he was capable of being understandable, though he very rarely made the effort. She hoped he'd at least try.

His voice was clipped, "If you don't want to be with me anymore, you can just say that."

Her eyes widened in disbelief, "That's not what this is about! I just need some time for myself, to deal with all the shi-"

"Sure," he cut her off, a bitter chuckle leaving his lips, "That's what this is about."

Lilith hadn't felt this angry at him since the start of Initiation, where each word that left his lips made her fume and want to punch him across the jaw. Back then, he'd acted like he was superior to her just because he was a leader and she was a transfer who didn't look like she'd make it, but she'd proven him wrong every day, and earned his respect while doing so. The tension between them had been replaced by something else, something good. 

Something that cracked as he gazed at her the same way he had back then.

"You know what," she took a step back, "Fuck you, Eric."

He didn't reply as she turned around and continued heading towards the opposite direction, angry tears brimming her eyes as she walked away. Though she didn't look over her shoulder to check if he'd left as well, she could feel his gaze pinned to her back, almost burning holes through her. Only when she was out of his line of sight did she dare to release a sigh, and a single tear rolled down her cheek, before she quickly wiped it off and blinked the rest of them back.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi!
So... at least he's not dead, right?
I've had this meme saved for this occasion, and it's still accurate

So yes, Eric is very much staying alive (for now), even if Lilith and him currently aren't a thing. It's always been planned that they're not immediately together, though it happened for other reasons in previous versions. Lilith has a lot more internal conflict and I personally don't think a relationship with Eric is great for her right now, so yeah. He's still going to be important, don't worry!
Also I did add a little plot point about Eric not knowing who his mother is, and I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not pulling a "Eric is Jeanine's secret child". He's not related to Jeanine at all. I definitely feel like this little plot point explains the way he acted near the end of this chapter, even if it doesn't justify it!
Also nightsister- made me a gif for this book, which is currently the first one displayed on my intro chapter! Definitely check it out, and go read her Peter Hayes book while you're at it!
That's all I have for you this week!
Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave me some feedback!